Fifth Year: Mischief Managed
by katdance666
Summary: The infamous Marauders and Friends in their fifth year at Hogwarts. They deal with fluff, drama, true love, pranks, and detentions... Oh, and Sirius!
1. School Days

**_Author's Note: First of all, this is my first fic, so please be relatively nice when reviewing (yes, please review). This chapter isn't so good, but I've written a few more chapters in advance and chapters five and six are by far my favourites. The writing improves in the next few chapters (I hope), and I have tried to make the story as funny as possible. Please don't stop reading if you hate this chapter, because they get quite a lot better. I do need ideas for pranks, insults, and wise cracks. Oh, and I apologize for the 'over-the-top' use of commas in my story, and the little brackets are usually just my snidey comments, so feel free to ignore them. Please read and review. _ **

** Fifth Year: Mischief Managed **

** By katdance666**

** Chapter one - School Days **

** It was a cold, miserable day and Lily Evans stood talking to her friends just inside the barrier for platform 9 ¾. Lily was a fifth year student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She had long red hair, bottle-green eyes, and a gorgeous smile.**

** The topic soon turned to boys as the girls spotted a group of them walking towards the train doors.**

** "James Potters' looking at you again Lils!" Lydia Shaw pointed out absent-mindedly.**

** "Yeah, grreeeaaatt…." Lily said, rolling her eyes; James Potter was not her favourite person. "Now, let's get a move on or we'll miss the train."**

** "Fine! But how can you act like that, Lils? He's dreamy!" Lydia pressed.**

** "You got that right!" Enid Allows agreed as they boarded the train. "Lils, you're crazy!"**

** "He's nothing but an arrogant show-off." Lily dismissed the subject.**

** As the girls boarded the train, the four boys they had spotted, started down the train corridor. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter were walking into their favourite compartment, while still discussing James' non-existent chances of getting a date with Lily, and putting their luggage up on the racks... But there was already someone in there. **

** Severus Snape and James Potter eyed each other suspiciously.**

** "What are _you_ doing here?" James snarled. **

** "Get out of here Snivelpus, this is _our_ compartment, not chemistry club", Sirius sneered, never passing up an opportune moment, such as this, to make fun of their rival.**

** Not taking his eyes off James, Snape replied, "Correct me, if I am mistaken, Black, but am I right in thinking that_ I_ was here first, _my_ luggage is up on the shelf, and _I_ am still here?" Then, provoking his contenders, he moved the seat (with his wand – duh) right out from under Sirius, who had just sat down, meaning he landed hard on the floor.**

** "One, so what, two, not anymore, it isn't," James started to yank Snape's trunk off the shelf, and Sirius got up to help pull it all the way out, onto the carpet. "And three, guess again!" With that, Sirius dragged Snape's trunk into the corridor and dropped it on the hard wood floor. **

** James pulled out his wand and, before Snape had a chance to reach for his own wand, James had him up in the air with a "_mobilius_" charm.**

** People were starting to stare from their own compartment windows, as Severus Snape floated out of the compartment door and landed in a crumpled heap on top of his trunk. "And stay out!" Sirius put on a girly voice and rubbed his hands together, just like an old fashioned woman might do to a dog. The girls had just reached that part of the corridor. Everyone started to laugh and, even Lily had to stifle a grin. That was soon over, but James had caught the smile flicker across Lily's face, and that inspired him.**

** "Right then, Snapy-dear, shall I help you into your _own_ compartment?" James turned and winked at Peter, who grinned and chuckled stupidly. This was a mistake because it gave Snape time to recover and grab his wand.**

** "_Carpe Capillium_!" Snape muttered, the hatred seeping through his voice like poison. A gasp went up from the crowd as blood seeped through a deep gash in James' robes. Seeing this enraged both James and Sirius who raised their wands simultaneously, obviously planning something terrible. This plan was put on stand-by, however, because three shouts of "_expelliarmus_!" were heard, and three beams of light zoomed in three different directions, extracting the wands from James, Sirius, and Snapes' hands.**

** The voices belonged to Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, and Albus Dumbledore.**

****

**——————————————————————————————**

** Dumbledore had never been seen on the Hogwarts Express before, so now, knowing there would be big trouble, the crowd began to disperse, feeling sorry for James and Sirius, and laughing outwardly at Snape. James and his friends were always up to something, but this was the first time Dumbledore himself had stopped them.**

** Sirius, as always, tried to joke his way around it by saying, "So Professor, who needs the movies, eh," but, 'strangely enough', that didn't work. James, who had known that it wouldn't work, conveyed it to Sirius just a few seconds too late by elbowing him hard in the ribs.**

**_(A/N: Sirius really wouldn't know what movies are, because they don't exist in the wizarding world, but gimme a break)._**

** The awkward silence was broken only by Peter, who had been attempting to retreat guiltily back into their compartment, but had stumbled backwards over his shoelace. It was then that Dumbledore spoke, a disappointed tone farely obvious in his voice,**

**"Follow me please, ALL of you". He was referring to those that remained; Lily, still holding James' wand along with her own; James, Sirius; Snape, who had got to his feet when Dumbledore deprived him of his wand, Remus, and Peter, who had given up on his efforts of trying to get away unseen.**

** Dumbledore lead them to the front of the train and opened the door to, what looked like a breakfast/tea room. The first glance any of them got was of yellow, flowery wall paper, and a small, glass coffee table with a steaming mug on it. Dumbledore started shepherding them all inside and, before he closed the door; he waved his wand sharply at the table. The table wiggled slightly and, before their eyes, it transfigured from a glass coffee table, into a long, wooden, business table, the steaming mug still in place, surrounded by cushioned chairs.**

** "Mr. Lupin, Miss. Evans… If you could please return Mr. Potter and Mr. Blacks' wands to them. The rest of you, sit," Dumbledore commanded grimly as he passed Snape's wand back to him, "Thankyou, sit." Dumbledore ordered as Lily and Remus returned the wands, not meeting anyone's eyes, "Now, this is quite a disappointment. Can any of you explain what happened to me, or give a significant reason for that disgusting display of hostility!" Dumbledore had not been expecting a response, and received none anyway. **

** The only sound, was that of six chairs scraping the floor as six fifteen-year-olds, sat down. After a short discussion, Dumbledore dismissed Lily, Remus, and Peter, and told them to go back to their own compartments. **

** Just after this, he resumed his pacing around the room and started to speak, "I thought about your punishments, and yes, you _will_ be punished Mr. Black," Dumbledore caught Sirius swapping unbelieving looks with James. "You were fighting, and that is impermissible behaviour for Hogwarts students. Anyway, as I was saying, I thought about your punishments and: they will be served separately, Mr. Black will be polishing the trophies, with Mr. Pringle, in the trophy room, without magic; Mr. Snape will be assisting Mr. Salandro, who will be cleaning the Astronomy telescopes, again, without magic; and finally, Mr. Potter, as I do not want to part you from your beloved Quidditch pitch, you will be cutting the grass on the quidditch pitch with a muggle mower. You will all serve your detentions on Saturday, at ten o'clock sharp. Does that sound fair?"**

** The boys all replied "yes Professor", but half-heartedly. **

** —————————————————————————————— **

** James and Sirius entered the compartment they had taken from Snape to find Peter sitting on a bench stuffing cauldron cakes down his throat three at a time, and Lupin, with his nose in a book. **

** "Hey Mooney," Sirius addressed Lupin as he motioned for Peter to slide down the seat, "What was that about, eh? We were just havin' some fun with old Snivelly."**

** "Yeah," James agreed as Sirius grabbed Lupin's book so that he had to face them, "We thought you were on our side about Snape, at least." **

** Lupin still didn't speak, so James tried to lighten the mood by casually saying, "You know, I think Evans might consider dating me if it was a choice between me and old Snape." This made everyone grin, reluctantly or not, and, it seemed they had almost forgotten about the previous incident by the time the lady with the lunch trolley came by.**

**—————————————————————————————— **

** After Dumbledore had dismissed her, Lily had headed down the hall to her own compartment, where two of her friends were waiting anxiously for her story. Lily opened the door and, immediately, she found herself being bombarded with questions like "Are you in trouble?" and "Are they being punished?" Her rendition of events was short and simple; "Dumbledore talked, I gave Potter back his wand, and he dismissed us so he could talk to Black, Potter, and Snape alone." **

** Though her friends had hoped for more than this, they had no chance to find out more because, as soon as Lily had sat down to catch her breath from answering all the questions, the lunch lady came in to remind her about the prefects meeting at the front of the train. "Could you be a deah, an' tell t'other Griffindor prefect to come now? Dumbledores' waitin'"**

** "Sure Mrs. Malton, I'll tell him," Lily agreed to inform Lupin about the meeting.**

** As soon as Mrs. Malton, the train driver's wife, left, Marrella Goldberg stuck her head in through the open door. "Is this seat taken?" she asked jokingly.**

** When the three other girls heard Marrella's voice, they jumped on her, almost suffocating her with hugs. "Marrella!" Lily, Enid, and Lydia hadn't seen Marrella since the previous year because she was in Ravenclaw House. She was the second to stop by to remind Lily about the prefects meeting as they were both prefects.**

** Though Lily was pleased to see her friend, she was annoyed with all the reminders she seemed to be getting. "Yeah, yeah! I just have to collect Remus Lupin."**

** "Well, do you mind if I come with?" Marrella asked. She was quite keen on Remus.**

** "Come on then," Lily replied, rolling her eyes, "See you in a bit guys," she added to the other two.**

**—————————————————————————————— **

** James was looking out through his own door, when he saw Lily and Marrella headed his way. **

** "Either someone forgot their meeting, or Evans just can't stay away from me!" he joked.**

** "What?" Lupin went to the door to make sure James wasn't imagining it. **

** "Maybe you should kiss her, Prongs, just to make sure you're not hallucinating." Sirius suggested, amused, as he could see them from his seat.**

** Lily and Marrella got to the door and, completely ignoring James and Sirius, pointed out the time to Lupin. Remus closed his book, thanked them, said goodbye to his friends, and left. James called after Lily, "Oi Evans! I'm free this Sunday." As Lily kept right on walking, James added, somewhat pathetically, "Let me know!"**

** "Making a completely uneducated guess here, but I'm betting that's a no mate." Sirius teased. **

**—————————————————————————————— **

** Lily sat with Enid and Lydia at the, nearly empty Griffindor House Table in the Great Hall (Marrella was sitting at the Ravenclaw Table). They had managed to grab one of the first horseless carriages up to the castle, and therefore, beat the crowds.**

** The girls sat, stomachs rumbling, watching the masses of students pour in through the huge wooden doors, and were soon after joined by another Griffindor fifth year friend; Christine Carpollo. As soon as the stragglers had taken their seats, Dumbledore rose.**

** "Now, the sorting!" he exclaimed as Professors' Flitwick and McGonagoll entered (Flitwick carrying the sorting hat, on the same old three-legged stool and McGonagoll leading a line of shivering first years into the Hall, though whether they were shivering from fright or cold was anyone's guess). Professor McGonagoll worked steadily through the list of first years, starting with Allows, Jessica (Enid's little sister) and carrying on, much to the annoyance of the other hungry students, all the way to Yeng, Andrew, who became a Hufflepuff.**

**_(A/N: Jessica Allows became a Griffindor, like her sister)._**

At the other end of the table, James and Sirius sat, explaining their plans for the next days' adventures, to Remus and Peter:

"Okay, so I vote we get a good night's sleep tonight so we can be ready for action tomorrow. The Slytherins are going to get a nasty shock tomorrow when they get to dinner," Sirius was suggesting.

"But won't we get in trouble if someone finds out Sirius? I don't like being in trouble." Peter was always slightly nervous about their pranks.

"The key word there was _if_ Wormtail, you wimp, we won't get caught." Sirius was always confident in their plans.

Peter opened his mouth as if to argue some more, but was interrupted by Dumbledore suggesting that everyone go to bed after they sing the school song.

Everyone in the hall started to sing at their own pace, making the school song sound like a bad rendition of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star'. (A/N: Don't ask how that's possible).

Then benches scraped and the hall filled again with the chattering of well-fed, sleepy students going up to bed.

Lily was just getting up from her bench, listening (or pretending to be) to Lydia and Enid arguing over something, when James caught sight of them. He winked as the Marauders passed the girls (Sirius would have, had he not left the table early to make out with Leigh Vantern, a fifth-year Ravenclaw student, in the broom closet outside the great hall). Lydia and Enid giggled and blushed, while Lily rolled her eyes.

"Come on, he's just showing off! Why do you guys even bother; he dates, like, a different girl every night; stupid prick!"

"But he makes Ashton Lockhart look like Apollyon Pringle," Lydia dissed the janitor and the wizarding world's heart throb in one, "Of course, Sirius is even cuter."

Lily groaned and stormed off to Griffindor tower ahead of her friends. She had just reached the portrait hole (a fat lady in a pink silk dress) when she saw James Potter emerge. She said nothing but started for the portrait hole.

James' eyes lit up when he saw her and he closed the portrait hole behind him. He put his arm across the hole to stop her from entering the tower.

Lily took a deep, calming breath and muttered through clenched teeth, "Excuse me."

"How about a kiss for the birthday boy?" James suggested innocently.

"It isn't your birthday," Lily pointed out, her eyes flashing.

"It will be eventually; I just like my presents in advance."

"Move! Now Potter." Lily clenched her wand in her right hand threateningly.

James grabbed her wand hand, stopping her from moving it and held it saying, "Nice hands Evans; I could use them sometime."

James casually kissed her cheek and then he dropped her hand and disappeared down a staircase hidden behind a tapestry. Lily would have punched him had he only given her the chance. She almost screamed the password at the fat lady, who had been asleep for all of this, and stamped inside.

Lily went up the stairs to the girls' dormitories and threw her robes in a crumpled heap onto the floor. Grabbing a towel from the shelf, she decided that she would take a long, hot shower to calm herself. She left the year-five girls' bedroom and headed for the bathroom.

As she opened the door to the flowered bathroom, Lily unbuttoned her white shirt and stepped inside. She shook out her long red hair and turned on the water.

_Author's Note:_ _Did you like it? Hate it…? Well, all you have to do is click the cute little button on the bottom left of the page and review. I will try to answer any questions that you might have, and I promise the writing gets better in the next chapters. Please Read and Review._

_-Kat _


	2. A Perverted Plan

_Authors Note: Thank you very much for the review crazylily. Much appreciated. Now, I have a few chapters in reserve, which is why I can post this so quickly, but, next time I will not post for two days or so, otherwise I'll run out of writing. I'm glad you like the fic. And, in this chapter, there is a weird perverted theme-y thing, so I'm sorry about that. And there is minor swearing in this chapter too. I don't particularly like this chapter, but I like the next few, so there's your reason to keep reading. Oh, and since you are my first (and only) reviewer, this chapter is dedicated to you. _

Chapter two - A Perverted Plan

"So, are we ready?" Sirius turned to the others, "We don't have time to come back if we forget anything."

"We have the camera, the spell, and the brooms; I think we're set." James checked his watch as he said this. It was twenty to nine; they had to be back in twenty minutes.

"Where's Mooney?" Peter asked, seeing that Lupin was not there.

"Jesus Wormtail, we told you earlier; Mooney's not coming. He said that he thinks 'spying on the girls in the shower is wrong', to which I replied 'Mooney, you've got another thing coming if you plan to marry or even date'. He also thinks it's un-honourable as a prefect – glad I'm not one."

After he said that, James checked his watch again; fifteen minutes.

"Lets go," he said.

The three climbed out of the portrait hole and took the moving staircases down to the first floor. From there, they ran out of the hall, and into the night sky. Each one mounted their broom and shot skywards, Peter sliding clumsily off the end so that James had to hold him up while Peter re-positioned.

Up they flew, until they were level with the third window left of the boy's dormitory window; the window to the girls' bathroom in Griffindor tower. Sirius flew up ahead:

"Hey, Prongs, get a load of this; we came just a few minutes too late."

James left Peter to struggle with his own broomstick and stopped in mid air beside Sirius. Through the window, he saw Lily, fully dressed now, with a towel round her hair. Apparently she had just showered.

'Damn,' he thought, 'Damn, damn, damn!'

"Disappointed mate?" Sirius whispered, but he had no idea how disappointed his friend actually was. (A/N: See… Disturbing and perverted).

"What did I miss?" Peter asked loudly as he flew up to the others (still only half-on his broom) just as Lily turned around.

She shrieked (something about perverts and how long they had been there) when she saw them.

"What the hell is wrong with you, huh? You are friggin' jerks. Get away from that window now!" Lily pulled out her wand from her jeans pocket, and muttered a spell under her breath. The boys, who had been looking startled throughout the whole show, just watched her, amazed and shocked, as they were blasted downwards, towards the quidditch pitch.

They hit the pitch hard and rolled off their broomsticks. Sirius was laughing like a maniac, so Peter started laughing too. But James didn't find it at all funny.

"She hates us. She hates you mate. She saw and now she hates us. Not that she didn't before, but now she has a reason to." Sirius was almost crying with mirth.

——————————————————————————————

"So, they were watching you through the window! How long had they been there?"

Lily had stormed back into her dormitory and spilled the whole story to Lydia, Enid, and their other roomie, Christine Carpollo. Christine was the only other girl Lily knew who didn't swoon at James' or Sirius' feet, which was one of the reasons that Lily liked her so much.

"I don't know," she spat, "I think they got there after I'd finished my shower. I hope so."

"The solution to any question is to ask for an answer," Enid yanked out a pink piece of paper, scribbled something down, and tapped it with her wand. The paper folded itself into an airplane and zoomed out the door, towards the boys' staircase.

"What did you do?" Lily yelled at Enid, though she had a pretty good idea.

"God Lils, I just told the guys to tell us how long they were watching you."

Lily flung her pillow (she was sitting on her bed) at Enid's head, missed, and swore.

——————————————————————————————

"Ouch!" Peter said, rubbing his head from where the paper airplane had landed on it.

"Please inform us how much you saw of L. E. taking a shower. I would also like to add that you are perverted assholes for planning to watch in the first place. Signed – E.A." Sirius read the note aloud, still laughing hysterically.

Lupin, who had been listening to the whole story with a grimace, snatched the note and scratched down "They saw nothing.", and sent it back.

"Awww, Mooney. Why'd ya do that? We coulda had real fun with them not knowing." Sirius complained to Lupin.

——————————————————————————————

"See Lily," Enid said after unfolding and reading the message from the boys, "It's like I said before, they saw nothing."

"You didn't say that before."

"I did mentally."

"More like mental," Lily hissed in response, "Geez, who asked you to do that?"

Before Enid could respond, Christine suggested they go to bed and Lily replied, "Not before I get revenge."

——————————————————————————————

At eight o'clock in the morning (he had overslept), James woke up because his head was unbelievably itchy. He got up and went to the bathroom to see why.

Sirius joined him a minute later, followed by Peter, tripping clumsily over his own feet.

"What the bloody hell is going on!" Sirius roared as he looked in the mirror at their three identical donkey's heads.

"Evans!" James replied as though it was obvious, "Who else?"

"She's going to pay for this."

"Yeah," Peter agreed, "Through her teeth."

James already had his wand out, so he tried a couple spells on his furry ears. Nothing worked.

"It must be one of those spells that can only be removed by the performer," James concluded.

"We have to find her. She'll be at breakfast right now, but we can skip that, and then catch her when she comes back here to get her books for charms and potions. We can hold her in our room until she changes us back. Wait a flippin' sec, where's Mooney and why didn't he wake us up or get a donkey's head?" Sirius was steaming mad.

"They should be back any minute now; let's go and get dressed before Evans comes back."

The three boys rushed back to their room and hurried to put on their jeans and t-shirts. By the time they arrived in the common room, Lily was just leaving. She seemed to be giggling about something with Christine before she spotted them.

"Yeah. Ashton Lockhart really isn't that attractive unless you're Enid and have a weird thing for old, blond, smiley," Christine was saying until, "OH MY GOD, What happened to you three?"

Christine gaped at Peter, Sirius, and James. Lily snorted with laughter, and almost choked on her galleon-gum (glittery, gold bubble-gum from Honeydukes) at the sight of the three, donkey-headed boys.

"Ask Evans; she should know 'cause she did it, didn't you Evans?" Sirius glared at Lily and then flashed a smile at Christine, "Maybe you could ask your friend to remove her little spell…"

Even though she was blushing, Christine raised her eyebrows.

Sirius looked put out; she was the first girl, apart from Lily, not to melt under his gaze. He thought he was losing his touch when a group of sixth-years walked in, giggling as he looked their way; he was obviously not losing his touch.

James tried to recover Sirius' fumble: "Evans undo the spell."

Lily challenged him, "What if I don't? I think you guys should be taught a lesson, at least until midday."

"Evans!" James was obviously losing patience, and fast, so Peter decided to give it a try.

"Lily Evans… You're a prefect aren't you?"

"Yes. So?"

"Well," Peter answered, trying, and failing, to seem smooth, like James or Sirius, "Dumbledore won't be happy when he finds out that his prize student has been breaking rules, will he?"

"He's right, you know Lily. You will be in awful trouble if Dumbledore finds out. Maybe you should put them right…"

"They are put right, Christine; asses. But, if you insist…" She pulled out her wand, muttered 'rightus, rectum', and all three boys were normal again.

"Nice one Wormtail! You are so gonna' pay for this Evans." Sirius muttered threateningly at Lily as he strode past her, Wormtail following. She rolled her eyes and grinned at Christine, waiting for James to leave. He didn't, so Christine said suddenly, "Bye.", and left.

Lily turned as if to follow her, but James called her back.

"What Potter?" She was impatient and he was taking his time.

"I was wondering…" he started, but lost his nerve, "I just wanted to say nice shirt," Lily didn't need to look down at the conservative polo shirt that she was wearing; instead she raised her eyebrows – there had to be a stupid joke coming. "Take it off!"

Yep. She was right. "Grow up idiot!" Lily muttered as she swept through the portrait hole and down a staircase on her left.

——————————————————————————————

Silently James berated himself. He had meant to ask Lily out, but her frosty glare stopped him. What was his problem when it came to Lily? He had no problem asking out other girls. Seriously. But it might have something to do with the fact that he had never been turned down and he didn't want to start with Lily. He didn't even like half of the girls he dated; he just got bored a lot (plus it was obvious that most of them wanted, more than anything, to go out with Sirius or James).

The bell rang. Crap. James would be late for Charms. Professor Flitwick would probably give him a detention and he was not fond of the idea of spending his whole Saturday in detentions since he already had Dumbledore's.

Out the portrait hole he ran, then through his tapestry staircase and behind an ugly painting of an equally ugly person. He reached the Charms door and lingered outside it, checking his watch. He was ten minutes late for his first lesson of the year. Oops.

James prepared himself for a detention, and strolled bravely into the classroom. All except three of the students were separated into pairs. Everyones' eyes turned to the doorway as he entered, like he was on display. Professor Flitwick looked up from his list and peered over the top of his desk at James.

James caught sight of Sirius' grinning face as they all watched him saunter up to Flitwick's desk and lie, "Sorry I'm late sir, but I was in the library looking up some background information on the summoning charm. I was so enthralled that I forgot to eat breakfast." James grinned back at Sirius as he turned his head to 'cough'.

"Well Mr. Potter, glad as I am that you were late through your studies, this is not the best way to start off the year, is it?"

"No sir."

"And I trust that this will not happen again?" Flitwick asked hopefully.

"Yes sir." Flitwick didn't believe him, but, you can always hope.

"Fat chance of that!" Lily said under her breath so that only Lydia could hear her. Lydia kicked her. Hard.

"Sit down Mr. Potter. We were just pairing off for your next Charms assignment."

James, Lily, and two Hufflepuff girls (Alison and Dawna) were the only ones without partners.

Flitwick read off his attendance sheet and said, "Potter, James, you will partner Evans, Lily. Jameson, Alison, your partner will be Campbell, Dawna."

Lily groaned, while James and Peter high fived behind his back.

"Your assignment," Professor Flitwick carried on, "Is to choose a Charm between you, and write an essay, with a full demonstration, on the performance, uses, and history of the Charm. You may plan for the project with your partners now."

Lily turned around to face Lydia mouthing, 'kill me now'. Lydia started to mouth back, 'you lucky b…', when Lily was tapped on the shoulder. She hoped it would be Professor Flitwick, saying that he had made a mistake earlier, and that she was really supposed to partner Christine, but, it was James.

"Hey partner," he put his arm jokingly around her shoulders, "We should get started."

"Is it too late to ask for a new partner?" Lily complained, shrugging him off.

"Come on, if we're going to be working together for this project, we need to get along…"

"Or we can just hate each other and work from a distance," she suggested innocently.

"Just sit down Evans," James ordered, motioning to a free bench and desk. She did, and pulled out her spell books.

"Fine. Which spell should we do?" James tried to sit down close to Lily. She kicked his shin saying, "Space Potter."

"I've always liked the Summoning Charm personally, but you should pick the charm; you have so much of your own."

She didn't know why, but, after she rolled her eyes, Lily could feel her cheeks getting hot. She shook her head and said, "Fine, we'll do the Summoning Charm."

James wasn't listening; he had seen her blush, and was now fantasizing about her actually _in_ the shower. _(A/N: Again, sorry for the creepy, disturbing, perverted aspect of this chapter). _Lily got the feeling that he wasn't paying attention to their project at all, so she kicked him again.

"God dammit Evans! Stop kicking me will you!" he moaned, massaging his leg.

"Pay attention then you jerk! I am not doing this project by myself."

"You're cute when you're pissed," James said devilishly.

"I am not Potter. Shut-up and work for a change."

"Suit yourself," he said, and opened his book.

About ten minutes later, as the bell rang, Professor Flitwick addressed his class, "See here, You may have until Wednesday to finish up your projects, and then you should be ready to present in Thursday afternoon's class. I expect you will need to get together to work on this outside of class, as you only have Wednesday's class to work on it. You may go."

As everyone gathered up their stuff and headed for the door, James said to Lily, "He's right; we'll need to work on it outside of class, so I suggest we do it today after classes."

"Why not tomorrow?" Lily asked, trying to give herself more time to figure out why James wasn't as annoying to her today as usual.

"I have quidditch tomorrow," James lied. He actually _did_ have quidditch practice the next day, but he had seen that Lily was softening up to him, and he didn't want that to disappear – that was the main reason. "We can meet in the student work lounge after dinner." James knew that, after dinner, the student work room became the date room. The set up of desks and bookshelves made it the perfect place for making out (as you can imagine, James and Sirius used it a lot).

"Okay. See you there." Lily agreed, and then she rushed out of the classroom and down the stairs to Potions, in the dungeons, before James had even shouldered his bag. He had a sneaking suspicion that Lily couldn't trust herself in the same room as him alone. And he also guessed that she had no clue about the making out spot. Perfect.

——————————————————————————————

"Geez, what took you so long Lils?" Lily speeded in to the Potions classroom and took a seat next to Lydia, Enid, and Christine. Christine was reading 'A Poultice of Potions', and Lydia was turned around on their bench flirting with Sirius and Remus (Peter was there too, but he was preoccupied by some sort of accident with his crushed stinging nettles), so Lily replied to Enid, "Potter."

Sirius drew his attention away from Lydia to ask, "Ohhh… You've seen my buddy? Is he coming down, or did you turn him fully into a donkey?"

"Wish I'd thought of the donkey thing. How am I supposed to know what that git is doing. He might be making out in the stair well," she spat in response.

"Jealous!" Sirius coughed.

"Excuse me. I am not jealous! I couldn't care less if he was!" Lily had turned in her seat to face Sirius, blushing.

"Sure. You fancy him."

"I DO NOT FANCY JAMES POTTER!" Lily shouted, standing up.

"Sorry to hear that." James was standing in the doorway as she shouted. Lily turned, crimson-faced, and tried to figure out if he looked hurt by her outburst. Wait, why did she care? She thought he did, but didn't linger on that too long because Professor Snape (Severus' Uncle) was standing right behind James. Crap. Dammit.

"Well," Snape Sr. sneered _(A/N: Tongue-twister, huh?)_, "Thank you, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, for that heart-warming display of emotion, but I would ask you to keep it out of my classroom from now on. Five points each from Griffindor and take your seats."

Snape Jr. and a few other Slytherins (they shared Potions classes with the Slytherins) sniggered. The Marauders glared at them. Lily shakily took her seat and James walked over to his spot beside Sirius. He didn't even make a sleezy comment when he passed her. 'Maybe I did hurt him,' Lily thought again, but, really, why did she care? Usually, Lily would argue with James, yell at him, be mean to him, and he would argue, shout and be mean right back, then make some cheesy old comment to laugh it all off; why wasn't he?

———————

While they were supposed to be taking notes on 'the importance of chilling concoctions', James and Sirius were passing notes back and forth:

Man, u got iced. U don't care do u?

**No way Padfoot, I'm fine. Who needs Evans; I'm considering going 4 Kate Orr (Ravenclaw chaser). U think I care about** **Evans!**

Yah! But Kate Orr is hot Prongs; go 4 it.

**I so don't care about Evans. I just like teasing her**.

U just like teasing her.

**Snapes' coming. On your right**


	3. The After Dinner Special

_Author's Note: I officially love chapter seven. You just have to wait for it, though. Anyway, thanks for the review, but I really need someone (my reviewer/s) to give me ideas, and criticism (good criticism - of course…). This chapter was a little weird for me to write, because of some Lily and James stuff. I will update soon. And, crazylily, my guess is that I will end up having to dedicate the whole story to you, unless some other nice people (right now they are stupid people because they haven't reviewed, but…) review. So, this chapter is dedicated to you too. Enjoy people(or person!), and please read and review._

_-Kat _

Chapter three – The After Dinner Special

It was just before dinner, and all through the castle, The Marauders were creeping, down to the kitchens with parcels… Of 'Skin Flints' in their backpacks. James' parents had given the sweets to him for his birthday, and he had saved them for now.

"What colour d'you think Snivelpus' skin is gonna go?"

"Well, I guess it already has a sort of greenish tinge to it." Remus replied.

"We could slip some into Snape Sr.'s food, couldn't we?" Peter suggested hopefully. He wanted to get back at him for taking thirty points from Griffindor, just because Peter's concoction exploded during their double Potions lesson.

"It would be funny Wormtail, but we can't risk it tonight. He would know it was us. We'll get him back for today's lesson some time though, I promise." Sirius liked explaining his 'superior' mind to Peter. It made him feel important.

James snipped open the first bag and climbed down the last of the steps to the painting of a fruit bowl, that hid Hogwart's splendid kitchen. The others followed, snipping open their own bags of sweets.

James poked the plum (in the Harry Potter books, you have to tickle the pear because too many students poked the plum and made a hole in it – it is a newer version of this painting in the books), and the leaf on it morphed into a door knob. He turned the handle and the door swung open to reveal a pointy white face.

"Dibby!" James exclaimed, relieved, "You almost gave me a heart-attack!"

"Sir! Come in. Sir's friends! Come in. We is just about to send up dinner. Surely you is not coming for food?"

The Marauders entered the kitchen, following James.

"It's okay Dibby," James calmed the elf, "We just need some butterbeer."

Because all of the other house-elves were busy preparing the food, only Dibby could wait on them. While the elf was whizzing about, getting their drinks, the boys rushed over to the duplicate of the Slytherin table, which stood exactly below the real one, only that was right above them, in the great hall.

"Places!" a particularly small elf squeaked. The other elves rushed to their positions around the tables. James counted silently, with his fingers, over their heads, so that only the Marauders could see. Finally, he nodded, and they all emptied the contents of their bags over the Slytherins' food. This happened just before the head-house-elf realized, so he said, "place your food down", and they did.

The kitchen erupted in angry squeaks, and the Marauders dashed for the exit, just as Dibby was coming back with their drinks.

James grabbed the bottles of butterbeer as he ran, saying, "Thanks Dibby, I owe you one" to the startled elf.

Once out in the hall, the boys stopped to catch their breath.

"That was the best – plan you've thought up – all – year," wheezed Peter, between laughs.

"Let's get up there – and watch the – fun." Lupin suggested, laughing just as hard.

Sirius and James handed out butterbeers (James snuck two into his backpack for Lily and him, later) before they started off at a run again.

——————————————————

Lily and Enid were waiting for Lydia at the Griffindor table. Since they had no idea of the goings on in the kitchen, they suspected that she was off with Sirius in a broom closet. Maybe she had finally told him she liked him.

Just then, Lydia peered around the doors to the great hall, the Marauders right behind her, and beckoned Lily and Enid over. The two rose, confused at Lydia's hysterical face, and went to her.

"Wha…?" Lily started to ask, but was cut off by James clapping a hand over her mouth. She was tempted to bite him, but was too curious to try it.

"SSHHHHhhh!" four other voices hissed in her direction.

Remus nodded at James to remove his hand from Lily's mouth, but she tried to speak again, so James pinched her side. She murmured with pain (he had gotten the little handful of flab that everyone has on their sides), and kicked him in retaliation. He winced, but made no sound.

Peter motioned to Lily and Enid to come away from the doors to talk. Both girls (Enid had had her fair share of hands clapped over her mouth) exploded, and demanded explanations.

Once Lydia had explained what the Marauders had done in the kitchens (the others might have explained themselves, but each was laughing too hard to talk properly), they all tried to peek inside the Great Hall to watch the fun. Unfortunately, six people was pushing the weight limit for leaning against the double doors, so the door creaked, and all six came tumbling in, landing in a heap on the other side.

This started all of them off onto another laughing tangent, and Dumbledore (who had, at first been shocked, before realizing who it was) joined in.

"Welcome, young ones, our supper has not yet ended, so take some seats; they may be slightly more comfortable than the floor."

All of them gradually untangled themselves from the dog-pile, and sat down at the Griffindor table. Sirius chanced a half-glance over at the Slytherins, and erupted in a new wave of hysteria. He kicked James, under the table, and James kicked others etc. The Slytherins had started to turn different colours, first pale, and then vibrant, and exotic.

Soon, everyone in the hall was pointing, and laughing at the Slytherin table. The clueless Slytherins were oblivious to the fact that each had pink or blue skin, that is, until they saw one another.

The Marauders, plus Lily and co. got up, and prepared to leave the Great Hall (they had great fun at later dates, making fun of Snape Jr. for his hot pink skin), but Dumbledore stopped them.

———————————————

It was nearing seven forty-five, when James decided that it was time to meet Lily in the student study. He and Sirius had been planning to set the mood in there with a few couples making out on the plush sofas. This would either embarrass her, or interest her.

"So… Lydia and I have our first date in there in a few. We'll see you there."

"I thought you hadn't asked her out yet, Padfoot," James inquired.

"I haven't, but do you think she'll say no!" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows jokingly.

"Sure. Sure." James actually agreed with the kook.

Each one left, through the portrait hole, and went in a different direction.

———————————————————

Sirius looked around the library for a sign of Lydia. He spotted her at a little table in the corner, flipping through a muggle-fashion magazine.

He tiptoed over to her, being extra quiet so she wouldn't hear him, and tapped her shoulder while saying 'boo'. Lydia screamed and Madam Pince, the librarian (yes, she's old) was at her side in a second. "Out!" Madam Pince screeched at the pair of them.

She pulled out her wand and floated Lydia's magazine towards the door. It was only then that Lydia noticed Sirius standing beside her. She almost screamed again, but Sirius covered her mouth. She didn't bite him.

"So. Now that I've got us both banished from the library," Sirius said as Madam Pince shepherded the two out into hallway with Lydia's magazine, "You wanna go out?"

"Now?"

"Now."

"Okay," Lydia replied, blushing furiously, and giggling.

"Have you been to the student 'study'?"

"Yeah. It's nice and quiet in the evenings. Can we just stop by Griffindor tower first? I want to put away my magazine."

"Sure," Sirius said, "Let's go."

————————————————————

It was five-to-eight, and James was hovering around the study. He opened the door a crack, to see if Lily was waiting in there, but she wasn't. He had just closed the door, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped and turned around, swearing.

"Jesus, Lily! Why'd you have to do that, huh! I hate…" Then he stopped, mid-sentence. Lily's hair wasn't up in a ponytail, like it usually was; it was loose, around her shoulders. A cascade of shiny, red hair, hanging over her face and eyes. Oh, those eyes. Since the redness of her hair was usually un-noticeable in a tight ponytail, it showed more while down, and it really brought out the colour of her stunning, green eyes.

"Are we gonna stand out here and work, or, d'you wanna move this whole thing inside?" Lily was pretty, even when she was being super sarcastic.

"Yeah." James finally managed one word as he opened the door and let Lily go ahead of him, into the room.

She stopped, and looked around. There were a few rows of desks and bookshelves on one side of the room, but on the other, there were some plush couches, a coffee table, and the only sources of light for the room; two tall red lamps.

James, who had regained the use of his voice, spoke, "So, you wanna sit?" He gestured to one of the desks in the corner.

"Sure." Lily sat down at the desk.

They were just about to start work, when the door opened again. In came two couples: Red Tore with Annalise Martin (two unimportant fifth years – Red – Hufflepuff, Annalise – Ravenclaw), and Sirius with Lydia.

Lily was not that surprised to see Lydia with Sirius, but she hadn't expected to see them here. 'Oh well,' she thought, 'It's probably safer for me this way. At least now I won't be alone in a room with James Potter'.

Sirius had his arm around Lydia's waist. He looked over at James and winked. Each couple walked over to a plush couch and sat down. They talked for a while, but, the next time Lily looked up from James and her's essay, both were kissing furiously. Lily wrinkled her nose and thought that they looked like they were eating each other's faces. Anyway.

James noticed her looking, but dropped his gaze as soon as she turned to him. He didn't want her to guess his plan.

"Want a butterbeer?" James grinned as he pulled the two bottles from his bag.

Lily was a butterbeer-aholic; give her fifty bottles, she'd drink them, but she tried to control her addiction by only drinking them in Hogsmede.

"Please." Lily took the bottle from James and tried very hard not to down it all in one mouthful so as to avoid looking like a pig. Wait a minute – why did she care if James thought she was a pig. It was only James Potter. She didn't care what he thought, or did she?...

James knew Lily was an addict to the stuff. It was a good job they were strictly non-alchoholic beverages. He could see her trying to pace her drinking, so as not to look like a pig (sound familiar?). James tried hard not to laugh.

In an attempt to make her feel more comfortable, James suggested a chugging contest. "One galleon says I win?." James smiled at her.

"Okay, but I have to warn you, I live for this stuff."

"Sounds fair. Start on three. One, two, three."

James had barely swallowed half of his drink, when Lily slammed her now empty bottle down on the table. "One galleon please," she said, holding out her hand.

"Damn! That was impressive." James fished in his pocket for a few seconds before pulling out a shiny, gold galleon and handing it over.

"You could make money by doing that you know," James suggested, slyly.

"Forget it," Lily joked back, "I only use my powers for good, not evil."

"Ahhh well… Your loss."

"No, you mean your loss; you would have claimed half the profits."

"You know me too well," James said, laughing.

Lily blushed and looked down; could that be true? Did she actually know him well? There was an uncomfortable silence, broken only by some slurpy sounds, coming from the other side of the room. _(A/N: Don't worry; that grosses me out too)._

"You want to practice the spell?" James broke the awkward silence.

"Okay." Lily took out her wand and aimed it at a pillow under one of the kissing couples (the unimportant one). "Dare me?" she said impishly.

"Well, she has a daring side. Who woulda thunk it? Yeah. I dare you."

Lily grimaced at his purposeful disregard for the English language. She knew he was only doing it to bug her, which was better than him actually saying that without meaning to.

"Okay, _Accio_!" The red cushion zoomed out from under the person, making them loose their balance and topple onto the floor. James grabbed Lily's hand, and pulled her in between two bookshelves, out of view of the two people (now grumbling and standing up, rubbing their…).

"Whoa!" Lily squealed as she was pulled.

"The first rule of Mischief-making; don't let your subjects see who it was."

"Well, Professor, Mischief Managed, I'd say," Lily quipped, smiling.

James and Lily were sitting, facing each other on the floor. They were both laughing now, and, seeing Lily flip her long, wavy hair so that it caught the light, gave James an irrepressible urge to kiss her.

'Can it be that I'm actually enjoying myself?' Lily wondered as she laughed. It was then, as James caught Lily's eye, that he leaned in, towards Lily, and, she leaned, just a little, automatically, towards him, and, somewhere in the middle, their lips met. James' arms went for Lily's hips, and hers, for his neck. James felt that, if they broke apart, the world would end. He could think of nothing more to do, than keep kissing her, and her, him.

Lily was confused. It was a great, passionate kiss, but she couldn't figure out if she wanted it to end or not. She could feel his warm arms wrapped around her waist, and she could feel his lips against hers, but she could also feel tears welling up in her eyes. They were stinging, bursting to get out. And the next thing she knew, she was drawing back from him, crying.

James felt Lily draw away from him, and his mind returned to the room. James wondered why she had pulled away, but then he saw the tears. He reached to brush them away, but she was already standing, gathering her books, running. Why? "Lily!"

"I've never made a girl cry before," James was describing it all to Sirius, Remus and Peter, back in their dormitory.

"Are you that bad of a kisser Prongs?" Sirius joked, but James glared at him.

"Be serious, Sirius. Just this one time."

"Well," Lupin considered it, "Maybe she liked it."

"But why did she cry and run away then."

"Maybe she's confused, or even scared."

"Of what?" Peter asked Remus.

"There are lots of possibilities…"

"Yeah: spiders, death, bats, insects, snowmen, cooties, boys…," Sirius was joking again.

"Sirius!" James yelled.

"Right, bad Sirius. Sirius is serious now. He promises." Sirius made a puppy face and put his 'paw' over his heart.

"Actually, Padfoot, I mean possibilities like commitment, love, dating, change…"

"Love," Sirius scoffed.

"Where do you _get_ this stuff from, Mooney?" Peter asked.

"My Dad's a muggle psychologist."

"OHhhh…"

————————————

"Lily, wha…"

"Lils, are you…"

Lily had flung herself through the door to the fifth year girls' dormitory, tears still streaming down her face. All of her friends (in Griffindor – fifth-year, and minus Lydia, who was still on her way back from her date, obviously – so, really it's both of her friends…) had been chatting on Enid's bed, but then they had seen Lily's face, and had started fussing.

Lily just ignored them and climbed onto her bed. They didn't go away.

"Lily, what the hell happened to you?" Enid handed Lily a tissue.

"Nothing. I just hate James Potter is all."

"Usually you don't cry when you hate someone."

"Lilita," _(A/N: Lily's nickname from Christine)._ Christine soothed, "Just tell us what happened, and that alone will make you feel a bit better."

Lily's shoulders slumped and she gave in, "We were just working on our project in the student study…"

"Nooooo… The makeout room?"

"Just ignore her. Keep going." Christine discretely stamped on Enid's foot.

"Anyway, we were working okay. There were two couples snogging on the sofas; kinda gross, actually, but, oh, yeah – one was Lydia and Sirius. It wasn't actually that bad; he gave me butterbeer. That's what was weirding me out; I wasn't hating him. Just like in Charms class. But then, after a chugging contest of the butterbeers, I was a little crazy, and we needed to practice the summoning charm, so I aimed and said 'dare me?' and he did. So I said the spell, got the pillow, and then the people were just about to get up (they fell on the floor), when he pulled me behind a bookshelf so they couldn't see him or me. We were both sitting on the floor and he told me that the 'first rule of Mischief-making' is 'don't let your subjects see who it was'. Then, he leaned in towards me and…"

"Wait, did he kiss you, you – him, or was it both of you."

"Enid…"

"Chill Christine; answer, Lily."

"He leaned forwards a lot, but it was sort of an automatic thing for me to do – lean in a little. Then, I was crying and running." Lily put her head in her pillow.

"First of all, Lils, that is the makeout room, after dinner; he took you there for a reason. He likes you."

"No he doesn't. He just wants to prove that everyone will go out with him. It's a game to him, or something."

Lydia interrupted Lily's rant by speeding in. "OMIGOD Lily. Sirius told me just now, in the common room what happened. Are you okay?"

_Author's Note: That was actually fun. I should have made it sadder though, like Lily flings herself out of a seventh-story window because she's sooo sad… Sorry to those of you who know people that have done that. Now, press the damn button below, and review. Pwetty Pwease! does puppy eyes_

_-Kat_


	4. Dress to Impress

_Author's Note: I'm sorry that this chapter is sooooo short, but, I promise, the next few are super long. I couldn't resist. In the next two chapters, I screw with James and Lilys' relationship even more. It is sooo fun. This chapter is a bit weird, and if you don't understand anything, just let me know. Yay! I finished chapter seven. But you can't read that yet. It's the best chapter so far. This is also dedicated to you, crazylily, because you are still my only reviewer. Anyone else who reviews – tell your friends. Tell them to tell their friends. Tell them to tell them to tell their friends… Please Read and Review._

Chapter four – Dress to Impress

"So, you guys up for Hogsmeade next weekend?" Enid loved Hogsmeade. It was practically all she ever talked about, save Ashton Lockhart, Sirius Black, and James Potter, though with all of Lily's drama, she had stopped mentioning him so much.

"I don't know…" Lily started to object, but Lydia cut across her, "Come on, Lils. You are hardly gonna run into James in Hogsmeade with all of the other students there."

Lily turned crimson at the mention of James' name, but softened; "Well…"

"Please!" Christine begged.

"Alright," Lily sighed, "But if we do see him, I'm holding you three responsible."

"Yay!" all three girls chorused happily.

It was Saturday (after Lily and James' kiss on Monday) and Lily had been successfully avoiding James until and after Thursday, when they had had to present their Charms project. As soon as they finished presenting, the bell for lunch had rung, and Lily had disappeared before James could say anything to her.

Now, she was using all possible tactics to avoid him (spies, Tracking Charms…) but, he was using all of his possible tactics to _find_ her (like the Marauder's Map), so it was hardly a fair battle.

————————————————————

James was talking to Sirius in their dormitory, when he looked down at the Map. "She's down in the Common Room," he said, not moving.

"So, you gonna go talk to her, or what?" Sirius asked.

"I dunno." James reached for a Quidditch magazine from the pile on his bedside table.

Sirius slapped James' hand away from the magazine pile, staring pointedly at him.

James broke, "I should go talk to her, shouldn't I?"

Sirius nodded and prodded James towards the door. They both checked the Map once more, and it read that Lily was still in the Common Room. "But," James procrastinated, "What do I say to her?"

"Shut-up and go, Prongs. You can figure that out on the way."

James grumbled moodily to himself all the way down the stairs.

——————————————

Lily was now doing homework with Enid at a big wooden table. Well, she was doing homework, and Enid was just rambling on about how much she despised Potions.

Lily's back was to the stairwell, while Enid's chair was facing it. Enid was still rambling; "And then Snape just sweeps round the dungeon (have I mentioned that I hate the dungeons too? – They're cold) insulting everyone and… Oh!" she said, looking up.

"Oh what?" Lily asked suspiciously.

James knew that Enid had seen him and Lily hadn't, so he motioned for Enid to leave and mouthed 'please' at her.

Enid saw and understood, "Oh, I forgot. I have to meet Lydia in the library. Se ya." She scurried away.

Lily shrugged to herself and kept working. James approached her chair cautiously, not wanting to spend any more time with a donkey's head.

"Hey," he said.

She jumped and turned around. "Oh!" she said quietly, "I thought you would be in detention. Without giving James time to answer, Lily hastily shoved her books back into her bag and got up, walking quickly towards the staircase leading to the girls' dorms.

"Wait, I just want to talk to you!"

She didn't stop, and was half way up the stairs before, "_Accio_ Lily!" Lily shrieked as she shot backwards towards James. He dropped his wand and, though his 'seeker' skills, caught the screaming Lily.

"What the hell did you do that for?" Lily yelled once he had put her down.

"I told you; I need to talk to you!" James shouted back.

"I don't want to talk!"

"Too bad. Look, I don't know what I did; was it the kiss?"

"No," Lily answered, slightly quieter, "The kiss was good. Really good, in fact." She blushed.

James grinned cockily and said, "Really?"

"No, it's that you did!" she was shouting again, "You're so immature. I can't like you, or even hate you. You're so frustrating!"

"But the kiss was good?"

"Yes. UUGGGGHHHHHHH… What does that have to do with anything?" Lily asked, still rather red.

"Well…" James stepped towards Lily and pulled her closer to him. He had to bend his head (being oh so very, very tall – and hot) to reach her mouth, but he didn't mind. James kissed Lily, and she sort-of kissed him back. He was happy.

Then James pulled away leaving Lily standing in front of him, stunned.

"So, d'you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?" James was grinning.

Lily had finally pulled her mind together (somewhat), but was still standing, her mouth tingling from the kiss.

"Do you?" James asked again.

"Lily slapped herself across the forehead and yelled, "No!"

James' grin faded fast, "But…"

"No buts; didn't you listen to me? You're so..." she paused, as if searching for the right word, then finding, "AAAAGGGGHHHHH… I hate you James Potter!" (A first-year had just started into the room in time to hear Lily yell. She was so scared by this that she turned and ran back the way she had come.)

James and Lily were oblivious to this, however. Lily turned on her heel and ran up the stairs after the little girl, leaving James to stare after her.

"Prongs..." Sirius, who (along with everyone else in the dormitories) had heard everything (teens can yell pretty loudly when they choose to), and knew that there was nothing he could say to his friend.

————————————————————

Lily slammed the door to her room and leaned against it. Was it possible to hate and, almost, like someone at the same time? It seemed like every time she and James got close to getting along, he would go and kiss her, and screw everything up. 'Are all boys this confusing?' Lily asked herself.

She really needed to get out of the tower, but she had a sneaking suspicion that James would still be in the Common Room, so she couldn't go that way.

The girls' dormitories overlooked the Quidditch pitch and the broom shed while the boys' dorms overlooked the lake and grounds.

Lily's eyes looked out of the window and the broom shed and an idea ran through her mind. Now, Lily was slightly afraid of heights, but, other than that, she wasn't half bad at flying. She had even been considering going out for the Griffindor Quidditch team this year.

Lily pointed her wand at the broom shed and said, "Accio school broom". In a few seconds, one of the standard school brooms was whizzing through the conveniently unlocked shed door, and through the air, towards her window. Lily quickly unfastened the catch and let the window fall open. The broom came at her through the window. Lily reached out her arm and caught it, easily.

She put the broomstick just under the window ledge (outside the window) and commanded it to 'hover' there. Then, she gracefully extended her legs until she was sitting on the sill and, closing her eyes, slid onto the broom.

Being a dancer made balancing on a broom come easily to Lily; it was only the 'height' part of flying that usually messed her up. Try as she might, Lily could never understand how James could pull off all of those spectacular nose-dives when looking for the snitch. BBRRrrrr…

Lily began a slow descent, and then gradually sped up until she touched down on the bank of the lake furthest from the castle. There she sat and thought until she collapsed into tears.

———————————

Even though Sirius felt bad about ditching James right after their Wednesday afternoon classes, he wondered through the halls, searching. Finally, he came to a stop outside the library, and entered. He found what he was looking for at one of the smaller tables, in the corner of the room.

"Hey," Lydia smiled as she looked up at Sirius, "What's up?"

Hogsmeade," he said, curtly, "You wanna go with me?"

"Yeah, that would be nice," Lydia motioned for Sirius to join her at the table.

"Okay, so, we meet at the Three Broomsticks at noon?" he suggested, taking a seat next to her.

"Sounds good," Lydia said, searching for a topic, "So, how's James?"

"Ah, I take it Lily told you what happened?" Lydia nodded, so Sirius said, "Well, ever since then, he's been a bit mopey, but he's gonna be fine. He's probably with Remus and Peter by now."

"And, do you think it's as obvious to them (Lily and James, I mean) that they totally fancy each other?" Lydia asked seriously.

Sirius shook his head; "So, does Lily really like him."

"Enid, Christine, and I think so. And even if it is true, she would never, ever, ever, admit it. She's shy about stuff like this."

"Well, I think James knows he likes her, but he never admits it either."

"Weird couple. So, see you Saturday?"

'Yeah, see you Saturday," Sirius got up to go, paused, turned back to Lydia, gave her a quick kiss, and left.

—————————————————————

Oh Saturday morning, before breakfast, Lydia and Enid sat, talking to Lily in front of the fire (or lack there of).

"Lily. You like him; we know it, you know it, heck, I think everyone in the castle knows it! Now, you can either sit around pretending, or you can do something about it."

Lily didn't answer so Enid said, "She's right, Lils. Not quite how I would have worded it," here, Enid shot Lydia an exasperated look, "But… It's true, and you know it."

"Oh My God! You're right. I do like him!" Lily exclaimed, "But what can I do; I turned him down?"

"That's easy; make him jealous. We can start now, before Hogsmeade. I told the guys I would meet them in Hogsmeade so you guys can come too."

Before Lily could open her mouth to object, Lydia blurted out, "Oh, about that: I have to meet Sirius in the Three Broomsticks at noon."

"Again?" Enid frowned, "And you said you'd go with us."

"If Sirius Black asked you out, you'd say yes too!" Lydia frowned back, "But, now, let's go do something with Lily's hair." She gestured at Lily's tight, boring ponytail.

"And clothes," Christine pointed out, from where she had been listening, on the stairs, making them all jump. "I'm thinking more skin, tighter, and GREEN," she said, like a stylist might do.

"And make-up," Enid added, 'Come on; let's move!"

Lily frowned and stuck out her tongue at her friends, "First ofall, there is nothing wrong with the way I dress, do my hair, or apply make-up!"

Lydia gave Lily's outfit a once-over (Lily was wearing loose jeans that clung nowhere, an ugly, grey top, and a – okay, kind of cute – jacket), and said, "Actually, there kind of is. Do you want to impress James, or don't you?"

"Fine, but my demands are that I don't wear a skirt or dress of any sort, AND, that you tell me exactly what you're planning to do before you do it. Oh, and, I don't want to look like a hooker, so nothing too bright, slutty, or make-uppy. And…"

They didn't let her finish, instead, they just shepherded her up to their dorm and set to work.

Peter, who had been listening to most of this, gleefully ran of to tell James, who didn't take it so well. "If she likes me, why couldn't she have just told me then? Does she just expect me to let her choose when I like her? I refuse to let her do this to me! She turned me down and now she expects me to just pine for her until she's in the mood! I am not going to be used like this, and I deftinately won't fall for whatever they have planned for me! I'm going for a ride," he thundered to his friends, "I'll be back in twenty." James grabbed his broom from the end of his bed and stormed off. Sirius decided to let James cool off a bit before explaining his plan to him, so he just told Remus and Peter while they waited.

_Author's Note: See, short. But you can still review, even if it's only to say you hate the shortness. I need ideas people! Please click the beautiful shiny button below, and REVIEW! I don't have a violent nature – honest!_


	5. Tricksters in Town

_Important Author's Note (this is rare and long!): Hello, and thank you for reading up to here in my story. I have noticed that, if people have been visiting my story pages, they have not been reviewing. If this is because your computers are being stubborn and temperamental, like mine was, and they won't let you review, then here's how you fix it: if, every time you try to click 'review', there appears a little white strip at the top of your screen saying something like 'pop-ups have been banned from this site', then right click it so that some options appear. Click either 'allow pop-ups temporarily on this site', or 'always allow pop-ups from this site', and then the page will refresh by its' self. Then click review and it will work. _

_Please read and review my story. This chappie is dedicated to my two reviewers; sittingcow, and crazylily. I love you guys! Thanks again, and cheers!_

_-Kat_

_Disclaimer: I would just like to point out (since I forgot to do so earlier), that I am using J. K. Rowling's characters, mostly, and hold no claims to them._

Chapter five - Tricksters in Town

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter strolled along the streets of Hogsmeade. Remus was doing a killer impression of Snape Jr. as they went along, and they were all cracking up.

"AAHHHHhhh… Zonko's. Shall we chaps?" Sirius gestured to their favourite store.

"Indeed, Padfoot, old buddy. Spankin' good store, wot!"

"Yes, Prongs, matey, just a corking idea, sah."

All three looked expectantly at Remus to carry on their little charade, but, he was staring straight ahead. They all turned to see what he was looking at, and saw Marrella Goldberg, just outside a Flourish and Blott's outlet store. She was talking to some other Ravenclaws in the street.

The other Marauders started winking, nudging, and whistling, which got Mooney's attention. "Shut-up!" he moaned as he shoved them all through the door to Zonko's, "Someone might hear you, and..."

"And what, Mooney, assume that you are completely gone on Ms. Goldberg, over there, or that we were whistling at you? Anyway, if they assume the first one, they would be correct."

"What? No they wouldn't," Remus argued as he peeked around the door to see if Marrella had seen them.

"Then what, may I ask, are you doing Remus?" James grinned.

Remus grinned sheepishly back, "Lets go and get those dungbombs you wanted."

Peter checked his watch, 'Then we have to go and meet up with the girls."

"So, Prongs, the four of us meet up with them, then Lydia and I split, and you leave with Mooney and Wormtail. That's providing Mooney is STILL WITH US!" Sirius shouted the last part in Remus' ear; he had been watching Marrella through the door again, "Jesus man, she's gonna think she's being stalked or something. Anyway, don't worry about not reacting to Evans, Prongs. I mean, what's the most they could possibly have done to her?"

By this time, the four boys had made their purchases, and were now moving down the road to the Three Broomsticks, to meet the girls. Once at the doors, they were greeted by a swarm of students barging past them to get outside to the shops.

"Hi boys, what'll it be today?" Rosmerta, the waitress at the pub for the last two years smiled. All four boys kissed her on the cheek before pulling up extra chairs to a table.

"Thanks Ros, but we'll wait for the girls, to order," Sirius said, winking at her.

"Suit yourselves," Rosmerta replied, winking (with a bright turquoise eye, of course) back.

They watched her walk away, but were brought back to earth by the tinkling of the bell on the door. It went silent in the pub as the girls entered. To Remus' delight, they had swept up Marrella, and brought her with them. Lydia and Enid were the first ones in, both looking very pretty with tank tops and skirts (well, Lydia was wearing a skirt, but Enid had opted for capris), and then Christine and Marrella (both wearing relatively normal, loose pants and cute tops – Marrella's said 'Your Boyfriend Says Hi', just for flavour), who were dragging Lily behind them. Those four had their hair up in messy buns, ponytails, and/or plaits. _(A/N: For all you yanks, that means BRAIDS). _

Everyone in the pub was staring at Lily (the ones who knew her were surprised and turned on, and the ones that didn't were just turned on). She was wearing very low-cut and tightly fitted jeans (remember her olds pairs were loose…), which hugged her in all the right places, and a really cute, bottle-green, 'off-the-shoulder' top to match her eyes (which were standing out fifty-times more than usual through just the right amount of make-up). Her hair was down in gorgeous curls around her face, and it reflected more light than it usually did (even when it was down), so it really shined and glittered, whenever she moved her head (oh, for the love of 'Reflector Charms', which make something reflect the light more). All in all, Lily looked fantastic!

James' jaw dropped as Lily flounced in, giggling with her friends. Sirius had stared for a second, wide-eyed, but then kicked James under the table – hard. James closed his mouth and rubbed his shin, but he was still, along with every other guy in the place, staring at Lily.

Sirius got up and quickly greeted Lydia with a kiss, before offering her a chair, and then sitting back down. Lydia sat down to Sirius' left, and Enid sat down between Christine and Marrella. Marrella was beside Lupin, who was beside Peter and James, who was beside Lily, who was on Lydia's left.

Rosmerta came back over to the table and said, "Now are you ready to order? Cause I don't have all day to… Well, well, well, Miss Lily. The summer sure does agree with you honey; you look fabulous!"

"Thanks Ros," Lily got up and hugged their waitress – she had also known her for the last two years, because that's when 'Ros' had taken the job, "So, how was your summer?"

"Fine, fine… Wish you could have seen the new employee here. French. But he was only workin' for the summer." All of the girls giggled.

"What was his name? Maybe Lydia knows him!" Lily teased, which earned her an elbow in the ribs from Lydia.

"UUuuuummmmm…Erce, Ears, Ecra, Erac… I can't remember. Anyway, He said he might stop by to say hi some weekend. He only worked the first half of the summer, the rest he spent in some muggle town."

"Eric?" Lily suggested.

"Eric. That sounds about right. Why?"

"Cause Lily met a boy in her muggle town this summer, didn't you Lil, and his name was Eric, and he was only around half the time," Enid giggled.

"Okay, thanks Enid. You can go somewhere and die quietly now!" Lily said sarcastically.

"Was this guy a really cute brunette, with lovely, light-brown eyes?" Rosmerta summoned a chair from another table and took a seat.

"Well, Lily; was he?" Enid grilled.

"Yes. Happy? And it would make sense that he go to Beauxbatons, cause he kept starting to say something about his French school, or friends, and then he'd just stop."

"Maybe that's because he's too thick to finish a sentence," James remarked snidely, to Peter. Peter laughed loudly. Lily glared at him.

"Jealous?" Enid suggested, blinking innocently.

"NO!" James glared at her.

"Wait a second, and I'll go find the date he said he'd visit…" Rosmerta started to go, when James interrupted sulkily, "Ros, we would like to be served some time soon, if that matters."

Rosmerta raised an eyebrow at him, but then said, "Will it be nine butterbeers then?"

The teens counted themselves silently, then nodded in agreement.

"James, that was kinda rude," Lily snapped at him after Rosmerta had left, "She was only talking with us."

"Is she paid to talk?" James shot back.

"Anyway," Lydia kicked Lily.

"Dammit Lydia!" Lily clutched her leg, then saw all her friends (not knowing about the kick) staring at her, "Sorry," she murmured, her face reddening.

Marrella broke the silence, "So, did you guys hit Honeydukes already?"

Remus answered quickly, "No. James, Peter, and I were gonna do that after we leave here. You're welcome to come with us, if you want."

"Thanks, Remus. Would either of you mind?" she looked to James and Peter. Both shook their heads, "Okay, thanks," Marrella said.

"Lily! He's coming. It's this weekend!" Rosmerta skidded towards their table, almost spilling their drinks, she was so excited.

"What!" Lily yelled standing up. Everyone in the pub stared at her again. She sat down, going red again. Then she grabbed Lydia's arm and pulled her outside.

Everyone else sat, watching from the windows. Sirius said, "Be right back, guys," and winked at James, to follow.

"Me too." James didn't even try to convince them he was just going to the washroom.

He turned the corner and was ambushed by Sirius, who had been leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

"Jesus James. Can't you at least try not to care?"

"Did you see what she's wearing? And who the hell is this Evan guy anyway?"

"Yes. She looks hot, but that doesn't matter, okay! Just pretend she's an old hag. And it's Eric."

James glared threateningly. "He's coming today. To Hogsmeade. My life is so unfair. What if she likes him?"

"Peter says she likes you. Don't worry, now let's go back in there. Me first."

James obliged, and waited a minute, before sauntering back in.

"What did I miss?" James asked, as Lily and Lydia were still outside.

Peter filled him in, "Well… She said that she had to leave right now, because she couldn't see him, and now she's explaining that…" he listened intently, "That he asked her out. What?" Peter asked as everyone looked at him; they couldn't hear a thing.

Rosmerta shrugged, "Who wants their butterbeer?" She started passing drinks around the table.

————————————————————

"Lyds, he asked me out, okay. I said yes, and we went to a movie. Then he kissed me goodbye. I haven't really seen him, since. _He'll_ think I _like_ him, and _James'll_ think I hate _James_."

"Lily, Lily, Lily… Calm down. Wait, do you like him?" Lydia stared, waiting for an answer.

"I did. But I don't know. I mean, with the James thing, and everything… What do you think?"

"Well," Lydia pondered it, "You're completely crazy about James, so if we're doing the 'make James jealous', thing, a little flirting wouldn't go amiss. I mean with Eric. But, chances are, you won't even see him."

Lydia waited, to see if Lily would object. A guy walked into the Three Broomsticks, and a few people walked out. Then Lydia grabbed Lily's hand, and pulled her back into the pub.

The guy that had walked in while the girls were outside turned around, "Lily?"

Lily jumped, "Eric?"

"Hey! Lemme guess – Hogwarts?"

"Yeah." Lily confirmed his guess, "Beauxbatons?"

He nodded, then stepped towards her and hugged her, "I missed you," he said.

Rosmerta smiled, sweetly, "Let me know if you guys need anything else," and then walked back to the bar.

Sirius, who had switched spots with Peter, squashed James' foot with his own, to stop James from moving.

"Well… I approve Lily," Enid said, grinning.

"Are these your friends?" Eric asked the blushing Lily.

"Unfortunately." Lily muttered, glaring at Enid.

"Then you must be Enid?" Eric asked Enid. Enid was surprised, but nodded anyway.

"And you must be Lydia, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and James… But, I'm sorry; I don't know of you two." He looked apologetically at Christine and Marrella, so they both quickly introduced themselves.

"You wanna sit?" Lily asked, politely.

"Sure, thanks."

As she got Eric a chair, she made sure to put it on the other side of herself, so she was now sitting in between James and Eric (no one except Lydia noticed this though).

"So, Eric, what's Beauxbatons like? I almost went there, you know." Remus started the conversation.

Eric described the castle and his sixth-year lessons, and the food and the people. James kept sinking lower, and lower into his chair, until he had almost disappeared under the table. He bumped his head on it when Sirius said his name.

"Lydia and I are going. Bye mate, and remember," he added in an undertone, "Don't do anything stupid. She's only trying to make you mad." He took Lydia's hand, and departed, bidding farewell to Eric.

"Speaking of, Christine and I have some major shopping to catch up on," Enid got up and motioned for Christine to follow, "Au revoir Eric. I apologize for my abysmal French."

Eric laughed and said goodbye to them.

"Do you think we should go, Remus?" Marrella asked.

James knew what Remus was hoping for him to say, and said, "Why don't you two go ahead. Peter and I will meet up with you later."

"What?" Peter asked, confused.

"Yeah." James prodded Wormtail until he got the message.

"Okay." Remus looked gratefully at them both, and offered Marrella an arm. She took it happily, and said, "Bye guys. Eric. And Lily, Quidditch pitch, tomorrow at five."

Lily nodded, and James looked on, startled; he hadn't really seen Lily fly since first year, and had never thought of her as a Quidditch player. He was going to comment, but Eric beat him to it.

"Quidditch? That's my girl, Lily. The first time I met you, I thought you looked like a Keeper; that is it, isn't it?"

"Yes." Lily mumbled, looking embarrassed.

"James here is the captain, aren't you, James." Peter said, almost proudly. James could have kicked him because Eric said, "Oh. I am at home too. You be sure to let my girl on the team if she tries out then," he joked.

James grumbled something in response, his face darkening. What right did this French git _(A/N: Nothing against French people; I love French people. James is just really pissed off)_ have to come in and flirt with Lily, then claim he was captain of his stupid team, just to show James up. Damn foreigner! _(A/N: I have nothing against them either)_.

"Well, I should be going. I only stopped by for a chat. Walk me to the train station Lily?" Eric put his arm around her.

Lily nodded, and waved at Rosmerta (who had just come to pick up the empty bottles), Peter and James. Then she tossed her money on the table and stood. Eric made her face him, and then wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek, warmly. James could have thrown something very large and pointy at Eric's head as Lily blushed.

James watched them leave. He didn't like how close 'that guy's' hand was to Lily's ass. He did like the way Lily's butt looked in those pants, though. He shook his head and glared down at the table, Peter following suit. James now officially hated Hogsmeade.

————————————————————————

_Charm_ing Jewels and _Enchant_ing Clothes, was just around the corner from the pub, so when Lydia said she just wanted to stop by, Sirius had no problem.

"OOOHHHhhh…" Lydia squealed, as she spotted some necklaces. She picked up a sparkly, green one shaped like a lily and said, "Lily would love this, and it would be totally appropriate." Then she put it back and held up a cute, gold one. It wasn't real gold, but it was enchanted to look like it (hence the name of the shop). Then there was a pretty pink crystal in the middle, "What do you think?" she asked Sirius.

"Do you like it?" Sirius asked back.

"Yeah, it's really cute."

"Then I'll get it for you."

"Oh, Sirius, you don't have to do that," she said, surprised.

"Oh yes I do." Sirius answered.

"Oh, and why is that?"

"I needed to find you a present

anyway." He took the necklace from Lydia's hands and paid the cashier.

"My birthdays' not for ages yet, and even then, I wouldn't expect a present…"

Sirius interrupted her, "Will you be my girlfriend, Lydia?"

_(A/N: I was going to end the chapter here, but 1 – that's really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, mean, - This is just taking up space, so you can't read ahead, and 2 – I already spoiled it for you in the pre-chapter blurb – but then again, I might have been lying about Lydia saying yes…)_

Lydia smiled, lopsidedly at him, and then kissed him.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Sirius grinned, and fastened the necklace around her neck, "It looks great." He turned her around and kissed her again.

_Author's Note: AAwww… I think that was cute. _

_Kat: Now all you have to do is press the damn review button._

_Kat's angel alter-ego: Now, now Kat, you don't want to yell at your audience like that; they might get scared and not review…_

_Kat's devil alter-ego (scary music…): YES, YES SHE DOES! IF THEY DON'T REVIEW, I'LL COME AFTER THEM AND EAT THEM!_

_Sorry about that folks; I'm not always like that alter-egos both cough and whistle. Anyway, please review. If you don't, I won't let my alter-ego come and eat you (I won't know your names… shucks! JKJK!), but please do!_

_-Kat_

_jumps up and scratches left ear _


	6. The Queery of the Quaffles

_Author's Note: Hi, sorry I haven't updated, but I've been at a cottage in Quebec (trying, and failing, to speak French). I think this is an okay chapter (which should mean reviewing on your parts), and was only a bit disappointed by the ending. As for writing ahead, I'm on chapter fifteen, which is fun, and I just wrote a random break up scene, which makes me happy (for some sick and sadistic reasons…). Now for thanking: thankyou crazylily and sittingcow. Whew, that was easy… Too easy. Please tell people about my story because I am not updating until I have at least ten reviews. And, crazylily, I was surprised when I read your story (something about a heart with Lily and James – really good) because, if what you're leading up to is what I think you're leading up to, it has half of the same plot as my story. That's cool and weird at the same time. I would send you that part, but I can't find your e-mail address on your bio. Anyway, keep reviewing peeps (and smiling)._

_Luv Kat _

Chapter six - The Queery of the Quaffles

For the week after Hogsmeade, Lydia, Enid, Lily, and sometimes, Christine, had hung around with the guys (sat with them at meals, walked to classes with them, studied together – no one got much work done but, hey, at least they had fun), and noticed happily that James was looking very surly and sulky these days. Sometimes, just for fun, Lily would bring up Eric's name (pretending she was talking to the other girls, but actually talking just loudly enough for the guys to hear too), and then watch James' reaction (scowling, discrete fist-making…).

Every other night, since Hogsmeade, Lily had been meeting with Marrella on the Quidditch pitch to practice goal tending. Marrella was a Chaser on the Ravenclaw team, and also had high hopes of becoming captain next year or in their final one. Finally, after lots of nagging and flattery from Marrella, Lily had made the decision to try out for the Griffindor Keeper spot, which would happen on Sunday. Lily could easily impress James on the Quidditch pitch (she had been training hard), and her constant stream of cute, new outfits was always a plus (God bless Lydia and Enid for reading all those fashion magazines).

Lily looked through her window at the Quidditch pitch. She could see James and a few of last year's team members there already, discussing how they were going to choose the new team members (they needed a new Beater, as well as a Keeper).

Lily sighed, gripping her broom tightly in her hands (she had sent an order to Quality Quidditch Supplies, in Diagon Alley, for one of her own). It was time to get down to the Quidditch pitch. 'It would be much easier for me to do this,' she thought as she left the dormitory, 'If James wasn't going to be there.'

"Okay," James addressed his current team members; Sirius, Enid, Arthur Weasley, and Molly Rundell, "We need a new Keeper, and also, a Beater. They all have to be able to fly, handle their positions, and have I mentioned FLY?" Last year, their Keeper hadn't been so hot on a broom, so now, he was sort-of, the team joke.

"Duh James," Enid teased, "Now, anything_ important_ to say?"

James glared at her, "I guess we could hold a Chaser try out at the same time…"

Enid stuck her tongue out at him.

"Now that we've finished being childish," Sirius stared pointedly at James and Enid.

Everyone turned, raised eyebrows, to look at him, "Wha-at?"

"Anyway," James rolled his eyes, "We can start with Beater try outs in about ten minutes."

Just then, a wave of people came onto the pitch; Lily, Christine, Lydia, (Christine was a good flyer, but hated Quidditch so Lily had forced her to come, and Lydia wasn't there to try out, just watch) a sixth-year, a couple of fourth-years, and a seventh-year. They were all carrying broomsticks, and Christine was looking grumpy.

"Lily, Christine, Lydia!" Enid squealed, joyfully, running over to her friends.

James, who had been talking to Sirius about game plans, whipped around. "Shit!" he said, under his breath to Sirius.

"Double shit!" Sirius whispered back, spotting Lydia, and thinking she was there to try out. "Hey," he said, as Lydia caught his eye.

"Hey." Lydia came over to he and James and gave Sirius a hug.

"Are you trying out?" Sirius asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

"God no, Sirius; you've seen me fly!"

Sirius worked hard to avoid shouting, 'yes!', but just kissed Lydia instead.

"What was that for," Lydia said as they broke apart.

"Nothing." Sirius grinned.

"Isn't that sweet?" James said sarcastically, "Unfortunately, that's not what we're here for. Those of you not trying for the team, please clear off!" He had been hoping that this would get rid of Lily, but she didn't move. Obviously, she was there to try out.

"Spoil-sport!" Lydia complained, and took a seat in the stands.

"James, over here." Sirius beckoned his friend over, "Be cool okay. She's just gonna be flying and all you have to do is watch her. Just sit and watch, don't even talk, or you'll end up saying something you'll regret."

"Right, got it." James agreed, and went back to the others.

"Beaters over there, and Keepers, over here."

There were only two people trying out for Beaters (the sixth year – Walter Shift, and Christine), and the rest (including Lily) stayed put.

Sirius, and Molly went with the 'wannabe' Beaters (or in Christine's case, 'non-wannabe' Beater), but the rest of the team stayed with James.

"Sirius," Christine grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Walter, "If you make me the Beater, I swear to God, that I will hex you until you turn blue. Got it? I'm just here to try out with Lily. She made me. And don't think I can't hex you until you turn blue, because I've done it before!"

Sirius looked slightly frightened by this confession, but then Christine clarified, "I have five brothers."

"AAAaaahhhhhh… The creepy, scary thing makes much more sense now. Come on; I have to watch this guy fly."

———————————————————

The seventh-year was up first. Her name was Cassie Green, and she was quite good. Enid was throwing the quaffle at her, and she was supposed to block the hoops. Enid scored twice, and Cassie stopped her once (it was an accident though; she hadn't been paying attention when Enid threw the ball, so she had thrown her hands up to protect her face, which the ball had crashed into, seconds later. Then it bumped off her hands and didn't go through a hoop).

"Thank you. Who wants to go next?" James asked as Cassie dismounted. She had had to cut her try out short, because her nose was bleeding.

Lily could see Christine mounting her broom, so she stood up and said, "I do."

"Okay, go ahead." James was looking at the ground.

Lily mounted her own broom, and took off. She could see Christine doing the same, then she caught Christine's eye, and Christine gave her the thumbs up. She also motioned chopping Lily's head of with her club, but Lily took that as a term of endearment. She flew towards the goal hoops as Molly whizzed up to her and explained the process.

"I'm just going to try to score on you, and you have to try to save as many as you can."

"K," Lily answered, not looking down.

Molly flew away from her, and then came at her with the ball. Lily was about to reach for it, when she looked down, and had to grip the broom tightly.

James laughed from below (he was relieved, but Lily heard and glared in his direction).

"Can you give me a sec?" Lily asked Molly.

Molly flew back towards her, "You okay, Lily?"

Lily glanced over at Christine, who had seen everything, and saw Christine mouth: 'Bludger James' head.' Then swing violently at an coming bludger, sending it soaring away. Lily giggled and said, "Yeah, Molly, I'm fine. Let's go." Then she caught James' eye and winked, mischievously.

Molly threw the ball again, and Lily snatched it right out of the air. Next time, she did a fancy twirl, and caught it in the tips of her fingers. After that, she used one hand, her broom, her feet, and then, finally, she did a few laps around and through the goal posts, only to catch the quaffle again. Like I said, she'd been practicing.

James was hitting himself on the head, repeatedly with his clipboard by now, and Lily grinned at Christine, who had finished her tryouts and been watching Lily's moves.

Lily began a slow descent, and finally touched down lightly and gracefully. "Who's laughing now?" she giggled to James as she passed him. He glared at her, and recommenced hitting himself in the head.

"James," Sirius hissed, removing the clipboard from his friend's hands, "Calm down. It's fine."

Just then a fresh and loud wave of giggles erupted from where Lily, Enid, Lydia, and Christine were standing. This made James glare at Sirius too, "Everything's fine, eh?"

"Next!" Molly shepherded one of the fourth years onto the pitch and into the air. Arthur followed with the quaffle.

"On the plus side, we have a Beater." Sirius told James as Amy Walters missed the quaffle twice in a row.

————————————————

Once both of the forth-years had flown (they both sucked), James and Sirius stood in front of the group of students, and announced the new team members.

"The new Beater will be," Sirius paused, "Christine Carpollo!"

"WHAT!" Christine exploded.

"Only joking," Sirius said quickly, as Christine pulled out her wand, "Walter Shift, congratulations." Christine glared at Sirius.

"And the new Keeper will be," James paused – not for effect, as Sirius had done, but because he couldn't get the words out. "Lily Evans," he finally grumbled.

"Alright!" Enid high-fived her friend, which made James scowl even more (if possible).

As the people who didn't make the team drifted off to 'who knows where', Lily and Walter walked towards the rest of the team, for practice schedules. Sirius said they would be every Wednesday and Sunday (Wednesday night and Sunday morning).

Enid told the guys that the girls were going to celebrate (at which point, Lily went rather red), and not to wait up. They were all about to leave, when Lily turned back to James.

"Thanks James." She said, kissing him lightly on the cheek and smiling. Then she re-joined her friends, leaving James to complain to Sirius.

—————————————

The next few weeks past with hardly anything happening, unless you count the Marauders slipping a bat into Snape Sr.'s office, or them finding the password for Hufflepuff Common Room and sneaking in there, and turning everything and everyone in Hufflepuff yellow. They got a few detentions a piece for that, so did the girls, who helped. Also, Lily played in her first two Quidditch matches. They lost against Ravenclaw in the first one, but steam-rollered Hufflepuff in the second. Their next game was the day before the holidays, against Slytherin, for which they had all been training hard.

Christmas break was just around the corner; there were only two days left before the holidays. It was a rainy/snowy, Sunday afternoon (before Monday, the last day of term), and it was also the last Hogsmeade visit of the term.

The Marauders, and the 'honourary Marauders' (Lily, Enid, Lydia, and sometimes Christine), were making their way to the Three Broomsticks, through the nasty, wet, cold, slushy weather. They had just come out of Honeydukes, and were met with a horrid mix of snow, rain, and icy wind.

"AAAAaaahhhhh… Warmth!" Sirius pushed past a crowd of Slytherin sixth-years to get into the pub. He also barged past a group of third-years to bags a table for his friends.

"Sirius! That's not very nice." Lydia slapped her boyfriend's arm lightly, as she stumbled in through the doors (no pushing people!), and into his arms.

"Well, I can leave this table and you can wait for another, if you like…"

"You do, you die!" Enid was next to fall through the doors (again – NO PUSHING!). "Hey, people, when there's someone on the floor, you don't just keep walking!" she yelled as she picked herself up.

Everyone behind her froze, and waited, slightly frightened, for her to move to the side, before starting up their mad dash for tables and warmth again.

"You scare me." Sirius remarked as Enid yanked a chair right out from under someone, and sat down at Sirius' table. Lydia giggled.

Peter, Christine, and Remus all fell through together, and crawled quickly over to the table, so as to avoid getting trampled.

James tripped on the welcome mat, before he was even inside the pub. Then he looked up to see Severus Snape standing over him, smirking, "Well, thank you, Potter. Nice to see you can identify your superiors."

"Yeah, if you see any of them, let me know," James snarled as he pulled out his wand. Snape was one step ahead of him, however, and was about to hex James, when Lily had her wand on him.

"If you are going inside, which I hope you aren't, because then I'd have to look at you, go, and if not, screw off!" Lily threatened.

"Well, well, well, defending your boyfriend, are you, mudblood?"

Lily didn't even bother getting mad; she just put the jelly-legs curse on him and offered James a hand up.

"Thanks." James said, taking her hand.

"What are friends for?"

Things had gotten slightly friendlier between James and Lily after the Quidditch try outs. They were in each other's company constantly, after all (their friends…). There was some flirting on both parts, and they seemed to enjoy it, but no kissing or asking out; not since Eric.

James grinned and started to shove his way into the pub again. Lily followed, and they both left Snape to wobble around the street, waiting for a Slytherin to come along and counter the curse.

"James! Long time, no see buddy." Sirius joked.

"Yes, Sirius. I have really come to miss you in the, what, five minutes? we've been apart." Everyone laughed.

"I saw your little run in with Snape. I was gonna come out and hex him, but Evans beat me to it."

"Where is she, anyway?" Peter asked.

James turned towards the door, searching the crowd for Lily, "Dunno. She was right behind me a second ago…" he stopped talking as Lily flew towards him, through the door. He caught her, and held her to the side, until she had regained her balance.

"Thanks." She smiled, looking up into his chocolaty-brown eyes.

"Amateur!" Sirius coughed, "Can't even handle the rush at the Three Broomsticks." Lydia, who could see that Lily and James were having a 'moment', pinched Sirius, who massaged his side, and then began tickling her.

"Ahem!" Remus cleared his throat, eyebrows raised.

Sirius stopped tickling his girlfriend and pulled out a chair for her, bowing low, and helping her to sit, then pushing in her chair for her.

"Who said chivalry was dead?" he quipped in explanation for his over-the-top behaviour.

Everyone laughed, and James and Lily took seats.

"Well, hi-there! Haven't seen you guys for weeks!" Rosmerta came cheerfully over to their table, carrying drinks.

"What's wrong with you?" James asked, suspiciously; it wasn't like Rosmerta to be so chipper.

"Well, to tell you the truth, I've got a boyfriend!"

"Oh Ros, brilliant, who?" Lily asked eagerly.

"That guy, over at the bar. His name's Mundungus and he just graduated from Hogwarts, last year."

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all snorted into their butterbeer at the name 'Mundungus'. The girls each kicked the guys they were closest to, and smiled.

"Bring him over to say hi, Ros." Christine said.

"Yeah," said James, who remembered Mundungus from last year, when they had both played Quidditch, "And don't mind if he tries to sell you illegal items, drinks, or fake ID…"

All the boys snorted again at this, but Lily and Enid both kicked James at the same time.

Rosmerta, who had not understood the comment, went to get him.

"You inconsiderate jerk!" Lily berated James, "She likes him!"

"I know, 'mum', I just can't figure out why."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Fine."

"And what are you gonna do, huh? Kiss me?"

"You wish!"

"Well… Now that you mention it…" James joked, but at the same time, leaned towards her, slowly. Lily kicked him again. "OOUUchhh! That is damn painful. Why do you do it?"

Lily was leaning forwards slightly too. She could feel it; they were going to kiss, "Partly because it's fun, and mostly, because you say such stupid… Eric!" Lily pulled away from James.

"Lily, hey, I was hoping to run into you," Eric said in his cute French accent.

Lily got up and hugged him. James sank lower into his chair (sound familiar?). 'Jesus, does this asshole just like making me miserable?' James asked himself silently as Eric slipped his arms around Lily's slender waist.

As Lily hugged him, she could feel Eric's warm hands on her back. Then, he did something unexpected; he pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips firmly against hers. Lily suddenly remembered her and James' first kiss, though she had no idea why, and thought of how different that had felt.

Everyone at their table had frozen, staring at Lily and Eric. Lydia, Enid, and Christine all gasped, exchanging mortified glances.

Okay, James had had enough! First he had had to watch her hug this guy, after she had been so close to kissing him, now he was snogging her, and she wasn't stopping him (it wasn't snogging – just a kiss, but James was making it way worse in his head than it actually was) right in front of him. James felt like he was going to be sick. He was almost tempted to pull Eric off Lily and start a fist fight right there, in the pub, but instead he just grabbed his coat, and stormed out of the pub, into the street.

Lily pulled away from Eric, blushing furiously, just in time to see James slam the door behind him, "Eric…"

"James?" she yelled, opening the door again and looking out after him, "James!" He didn't turn around; he just kept walking.

She would have gone after him, but Eric grabbed her hand, "Lily?"

Sirius brushed past Lily, and out the door, running after his friend. Remus and Peter got up and followed him. Then Enid got up too, and left. Christine and Lydia stayed put though.

"Lily, I'm sorry. What's wrong?" Eric looked confused.

"No Eric, I'm sorry," she said, pulling her coat on and tossing her money onto the table. Lydia and Christine followed suit, both saying goodbye to Eric.

"Lily!" Lydia breathed as soon as they hit the street.

"I pulled away, did you not see the away-ness of my pulling?"

"But Lily," Christine reasoned, "James didn't see that. He left before you did, and now he thinks…"

"I know what he thinks, Christine, it's obvious. But it isn't true. And I know it. Where's Enid gone?" Lily was speed-walking back to the castle, and Lydia and Christine were still with her.

"She followed James. She did see you pull away though, so, knowing her, I think she'll mention that."

"Lydia, what am I going to do? I can't just explain it to him. But I like him, you know I do. He's isn't going to want to listen to me. He's going to hate me forever."

—————————————————————————

Sirius had finally caught up with James, "James, stop!"

"Why?" James kept walking.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to the castle to sign up to go home for Christmas Break."

"No, James, you can't. He was kissing her, not the other way around!"

"Ha! She didn't resist, did she?"

"Actually, yes, she did," Enid puffed, out of breath. Remus and Peter had been side-tracked by a nasty horde of escaped fire crabs, "She pulled away from him, but you left to soon to see it."

"So what. I don't care!"

"I think you do, James, I really think you do. And I know she cares. She likes you, you moron."

"Yeah, we know," Sirius filled her in, "Peter overheard your little jealousy ploy, and told us."

"Well, it worked, didn't it? James is seething. Plus, Eric was a great bonus, but he's actually Lily's friend. A nice guy. NOT boyfriend, you hear me? He just randomly kissed her. She didn't want him to."

"So what, screw her." James shrugged and kept moving.

"JAMES!" Enid screamed in his ear. He stopped moving and clutched his ear saying, "OUCH!"

"James, you like her, she likes you; just forget Eric. She doesn't 'like' him, she likes you. She stopped their kiss BECAUSE she likes you. She thought she was too late, so she agreed to let us torture her with make-up, curlers, and tight clothes. She likes you enough to do that, which, for Lily, is a LOT!"

James was speechless. Sirius was too. Then, Remus and Peter came barging in screaming about fire crabs.

"They were all over us and… Oh, right, sorry, forgot. Lily stopped their kiss." Remus put in absolutely uselessly.

"Umm… We know." Sirius stopped him from making it worse.

"Are all guys this stupid? James, do you, or do you not like Lily?"

"ENID! Leave me alone!"

"Well, what are you going to go and do now, huh? Wallow in self pity because she didn't slap a guy across the face when he kissed her. Instead she just pushed him away because it was less mean and rude. Or, are you going to wallow because a girl you've known and liked for five years likes you?" Enid yelled at him again.

"I did not like her for five years!" James said finally. Everyone coughed and looked away. James took the opportunity to start up to the castle again.

By the time they noticed he was leaving, Lily, Lydia, and Christine had caught up to them.

"James!" Lily said loudly.

Everyone else hung back as Lily pursued James up the path to the castle (yes, people can move fast in this story), "James, what's wrong?"

No answer. "James, I didn't know he was going to kiss me. I would have stopped him if I had." Lily said quietly, still following him.

"Well you didn't mind once he had his tongue down your throat!"

"You left, James, you didn't see me stop him."

"Yeah, that's right," James snapped back, "I left after the first hour, you probably waited a few more and then stopped because your lips were getting tired!"

"James, listen to your self; would I do that?" Lily asked, exasperatedly.

"You just did."

"I…I… James, I like you."

"You don't act like it," James had quietened down slightly as they reached the castle doors.

Lily stopped him from opening the door by grabbing his hand, "James, I do, believe me." Then, she kissed him, just quickly, on the lips. He looked as if he were about to say something, but then stopped, and said instead, "Just leave me alone," and pushed through the door.

Lily watched the door close before her as tears brimmed in her eyes. Lily sank down onto a step, and the tears came flooding out. Her whole body was shivering with sobs, and that was how her friends found her.

_Author's Note: Hi! That was fun! The next chapter is called _Betrayal (heehee). _Please review and tell people so that they will review, and tell people who will also review… audience throws rocks at author to shut her up So, the button is right there, so REVIEW! please… _

_Luv Kat _


	7. Betrayal heehee

_Author's Note: Hi! Sorry I haven't updated, but I really do want TEN reviews! Please review! I hope you like the chapter. It's sort of weird, but it was fun to write. I'm in the middle of chapter fifteen in my writing ahead. Hee Hee! Anyway, enjoy!_

_-Kat _

_Disclaimer: If you recognize it from the HP books, it doesn't belong to me, but the plot and stuff do, yada, yada, yada… Oh, and neither does Rod Stewart or U2… _

Chapter seven – Betrayal (heehee)

"Lily!" Enid, Lydia, and Christine all gasped when they saw their friend. All three girls dropped their bags and ran to the distraught Lily. Lily looked up, rubbing her eyes.

"AWWwww, hon," Christine rubbed her back sympathetically.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter thought they should do something nice or sympathetic before finding James, so they all produced different-coloured Lilies from the tips of their wands and gave them to Lily before racing up to the guys' dormitories in Griffindor Tower.

Lydia, Enid, and Christine walked with Lily, all around the grounds, and she explained what had passed between her self and James.

Up in the dorm, all of the boys lay on each other's beds, immersed in Quidditch magazines, and not talking much. After about twenty minutes of awkward silence, Sirius spoke, "You guys want to go down to dinner?"

Remus and Peter seemed glad of the offered conversation, and both eagerly agreed, but James shook his head.

"We can bring you something back, Prongs," Remus offered willingly.

"Thanks, Mooney, but I'm not that hungry actually. You guys just go down without me."

The three got up to leave, but Sirius paused and whispered, "You don't have to come out tonight, it's up to you."

James grinned, "You think trampling round Hogsmeade with my best friends is going to depress me?"

His friends grinned back and left.

In the Common Room, Sirius passed Enid, who was headed for the boys' staircase (perhaps it would have been wiser for them not to allow girls in the guys' dormitories). "Is he fully dressed?" Enid asked Sirius. Sirius nodded, "Enid, don't…" Enid silenced him with a glare and continued up the stairs.

Tap, tap… James looked up from _Brooms of Britain _to see Enid standing, arms crossed, in the doorway. "Girls should not be allowed in the guys' dorms." He muttered, getting up to shut the door. Enid ducked under his arm and grabbed a chair. Sitting down, she waited for James to speak, but he didn't.

_(A/N: As you can tell, Enid hangs out with the Marauders a lot.)_

"James, what are you doing?"

"I don't know, okay, Enid. Lily is the first girl, ever to confuse me like this (except you, but that's only because you're weird), and to see her with that… that…"

"French plonker?" Enid suggested, smiling.

"Yeah. To see her with him, it just made me so mad, and she has never actually acted like she liked me," James was interrupted by Enid adding, "Oh, she never liked you; not until this year. Before, she hated your guts."

"Thanks," James said sarcastically, "But, I just give up now. I'm sick of her kissing me, then avoiding me, liking me, then hating me… It's just too much. Now will you leave me alone?"

"Yeah. I just came here to hear you say that, and to say that you are completely crazy, an inconsiderate git, and deserve to rot in Hell. It's gonna be okay." Enid got up and walked over to the door. She reached out and hugged him, said, "Seriously crazy," and left.

"Thanks Enid," James was being sarcastic again.

The next night was the End of Term feast. Lydia and Sirius wanted to sit together, so the seating arrangement went like so: on one side of the table – Lily (across from Christine), Lydia, Sirius (holding hands and kissing for most of the time), and James (across from Remus). And on the other side, Remus (across from James), Peter, Enid (across from Lydia), and Christine.

Lydia and Sirius were engaged in a conversation with Remus and Peter, when they weren't ahem otherwise engaged, while Enid and Christine were arguing (probably about Ashton Lockhart). Christine and Enid kept trying to include Lily in their argument, but she wasn't in a very talkative mood. It was lucky, perhaps, that Dumbledore chose that moment, after pudding, to address the school.

"Students, staff, and ghosts; another term at Hogwarts is ending, and I trust that it has been a good one?"

There was a collective chorus of 'yes's, and 'yes sir's echoing through the Great Hall.

"Well, now I have a surprise for you all. Those of you in fifth-year and above, along with all Quidditch captains, Prefects, Head Girls, and Head Boys, of which I trust there are only two, are invited to our annual, Christmas, 'Prefects' Ball' on Christmas Night. You may invite a partner from a different house, or younger year, if you choose to do so, but otherwise, fifth-year and above (not counting Quidditch Captains if they are in fourth year again)."

James had been made Griffindor House Quidditch captain in his fourth year, but there wasn't one below fifth-year this year.

"Dress robes should be worn and, also, our fellow wizarding schools, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, have been invited too. All Prefects, Quidditch captains, and the Head Boy and Girl, would please come and see me after this. Those of you wanting to change your minds about going home for the holidays, may see Professor McGonagall now. You are all dismissed, and have a wonderful Christmas Break."

Lily and Remus got up from their table at the same time. James, who had got up before Dumbledore had finished speaking, was walking with his head down (thinking, 'Beaxbaton's' coming. GGGaaahhh! Bloody hell; someone up there (looks up at sky) really hates me!'), so it was inevitable that he would run into someone; that someone just happened to be Lily.

"OOoops."

"Sorry; wasn't watching where I was going. You okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine, really," Lily said, somewhat awkwardly, "You going to see Dumbledore too?"

"Yeah," James grumbled in response, "After you…" He motioned for Lily to go ahead of him, and she obliged saying, "Thank you."

"Well, now that that's over…" Remus grinned devilishly.

"What 'that'? I didn't see a 'that'. Did you see a 'that' James? Cause I didn't. I have no idea what you're talking about, Remus." Lily wasn't succeeding at 'playing it cool', so James decided to help her out.

"I agree. Remus, you're absolutely stark-raving mad," with that, James left Lily and Remus to stare at each other, and headed to Dumbledore. They followed soon after.

_(A/N: This next paragraphs look long and boring, but don't skip it, because it has important information in it.)_

"Thank you for joining us, Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore twinkled down at them, "We were just about to start discussing the ball on Christmas night. Each of you will be announced, and you, along with your partners, will then walk down the stairs and wait at the bottom for the rest of this group to join you. Next, you will proceed to the Great Hall for the feast, and, once we finish the feast, dancing."

"Julia, Randolph," Dumbledore addressed the two seventh years, one from Griffindor, and one from Hufflepuff, "As Head Boy and Girl, you will get the traditional first dance; a spot light waltz. Then the rest of you may join in. And, once that dance is over, the rest of the schools may join you on the dance floor. It is tradition that this group of students, pair up and go together. We insist on this for at least that first waltz, to keep up tradition, but, so that you may be with people you like supposing you don't like anyone here, after that dance, you may do what you please, partner-wise, obviously. There will be a rehearsal for your parts in the ball on Wednesday evening, here, at five o'clock. Please be here. There, you will each get to request one artist and a song by them for the music at the ball. Here is the list of music, and dance partners. I tried to do what I could with the partners, but, as an old man, I am not very observant of your young friendships, and flights of fancy. I bid you good night."

Dumbledore handed out little booklets of parchment to all of them and left them to read and go to bed.

"You're kidding!" Lily exclaimed, almost jumping up and down.

"What?" said James, who was also reading the music selection list.

"U2! I never knew they were wizards. I'm their biggest fan; you should see my room back home."

"U2, you like U2? Why?" James looked appalled.

"First of all, Bono has an amazing voice, and secondly, their music is amazing!"

"I totally agree Lils," Marrella Goldberg butted in for support, "They're brilliant. Have you found your name on the 'partners list', by the way?"

Remus shoved his partner list under James' nose, and pointed out his name, happily. It was beside Marrella's. James discretely high-fived his friend behind their backs. "See you later?" Mooney asked, walking casually over to the giant, wood doors, which lead to the grounds. James nodded and waved, but stopped when a thought crossed his mind. 'What if Dumbledore thought… He and Lily… Oh no!' He flipped to the last page to see who he was paired with. 'Shit!' James thought.

"Marrella," Lily still hadn't looked at her partner list, "You like Rod Stewart, right (I still can't believe he's not a muggle, you know)? Well, how about you ask for U2's 'Ride Your Wild Horses', and I ask for Rod Stewart's 'Way You look Tonight'?"

"Sounds good."

"Yay! Are they actually gonna perform here, or will it just be their CD's?"

"Their 'whats'?"

"Oh, sorry, forgot. Who are you paired with?" Lily was now surfing the partner list.

"Oh, I'm with Remus." Marrella started to slowly back away.

"What!" Lily groaned.

"Hey, am I supposed to be insulted by that?" James had decided to make the best of their situation.

Lily jumped; she hadn't realized that he was still there, "Oh, no James, it's just…"

"It's only one dance. Then we can split up, and I can have fun my way (avoiding dancing and hexing Snape), and you can have fun your way (reading a large, thick book, preferably in another, more difficult language)."

"Oh, ok," Lily was slightly offended by this, "But, if you don't mind, I think I'll join you in the cursing Snape bit. You can avoid dancing if you want, but I love dancing, more than anything! And I thought you would be used to it, your mum throwing all those parties." James' mum was infamous for her parties, and Lily knew her from some brief meetings on Platform 9 and ¾'s.

"Well, I can do ballroom - I'm not proud of that – but, much as I hate to admit it, I've never been a good 'normal' dancer. And anyway," James was guessing that Lily had found some one else, or Eric, "Then we can have other escorts for the rest of the evening."

"Oh, okay," Lily said again, sad that James was so anxious to get rid of her. "Bye."

James watched her go, admiring her butt as she walked away.

"Naughty, naughty James," Sirius and Lydia came out of a side closet, both looking rather disheveled, "Hasn't mummy ever told you to look away when a lady's walking away from you, and NOT to gape at her arse?"

"Sirius, shut-up and get a life! And hasn't your mummy ever told you that you can't kiss until you're married," James snapped at his best friend, "Or that it's very inappropriate to MAKE OUT in a broom closet and then lecture someone else on supposedly staring at someone's arse?"

"Least I have someone to make out with, mate." Sirius grabbed Lydia's hand and led her upstairs.

Sirius always told James the truth about when he thought he was being a moron, and this time, he made it perfectly clear that he understood what James was feeling, and that he had brought it upon himself. Had anyone else said that to him, James would have hexed them or punched them out, but when Sirius said it, James knew Sirius was right.

Wednesday came and dawned very grey-skied. Lily could almost smell the snow in the air when she finally got up. Enid was the Early-bird in their dorm, "Lily, get up!" Enid whined, throwing pillow-after-pillow at her friend.

"You will die! Slowly and painfully, I will kill you. Five more minutes."

"Fine. I'm going to go and sulk for five more minutes, and that's _only_ five!"

Enid jumped off her bed, and skipped down the stairs, only to find Sirius in the Common Room. "Hey Sirius," she said, happy to have someone to talk to, "Are you a morning person too?" In the five years she had known the Marauders, and the four that she had hung around with them for, she was surprised that she had never asked any of them that.

"Yeah, usually, but I'm really tired this morning. Up too late yesterday."

"I love mornings. And, you know what else I love? Snow. It's all fluffy and pretty, but it's also good for snowball fights."

"Yeah." Sirius said dreamily. Enid wasn't sure if he was dreamy because he was thinking of snowball fights, or if he was almost asleep, but she didn't really care.

"_Cafeinius Pourium_," Enid said quietly, and a thermos of coffee appeared in her hand. She handed it to Sirius and he drank deeply from it, before thanking her and actually looking at her, his eyes in focus.

"What was that?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, a family recipe made from sheeps' blood, salt water, and coffee beans." She giggled when Sirius looked sick, "Joke! Geez. It's just extra strong coffee, and an energy potion."

Sirius relaxed and said, "Well, it works."

Enid checked her watch, "OOHH, Yay! It's time to go and wake Lily up. She promised to go Christmas shopping in Hogsmeade with me."

"No! Stay," Sirius whined, "You stopped me from being able to sleep, the least you can do is amuse me until the others get up."

"You want to be amused? Follow me." Enid started up the girls' staircase, and Sirius followed (his body might have been awake, but his brain was still asleep, so he forgot that guys couldn't go up that staircase), but as soon as he reached the top step, the stairs leveled out into a slide and he slid right back down.

"I hate you! Never wake a guy when he's sleeping."

"You weren't sleeping."

"My brain was."

"I wasn't aware that you had one of those. Sorry, I'll know for next time." Sirius glared at Enid, so she explained, "Get a basin from the bathroom, and fill it with cold water, then put it right in front of the slide. I'll amuse you. Just stand back and watch the fun. Oh, and if I die, I want Christine to have my magazines, Lydia to have my make up, Lily to have my clothes, and the Marauders to have my secret dungbomb supply."

"O-K then." Sirius gave her a funny look, but did as he was told.

"Lily! Rise and Shine, it's Hogsmeade time!"

"GGGaaahhh. Die!" Lily peered out from under her duvet, and squinted at the alarm clock on her bedside table. It read seven o'clock in the morning.

"Lil-ly! You promised, and you didn't specify a time, so it's your fault. I laid out your clothes on my bed."

"And you expect me to trust _your_ judgment on my outfit?"

Enid crossed her arms and pouted. Lily knew it was no use arguing so, even though she couldn't see properly yet, she started getting dressed. Enid grinned when Lily was fully dressed. She was wearing the cutest one-strap top, and a pair of denim capris. "You look hot Lils. Now let's go." Enid was careful not to let Lily see herself in any mirrors as she pushed her out of their room (though, since Lily still couldn't see straight, it probably wouldn't have mattered), because she knew Lily would object to the skimpy outfit. Lily grabbed her jean jacket as Enid flounced behind her, out the door.

Lily took a right and screamed as she lost her footing (she had been looking for a step – wonder why she couldn't find one…), and went sliding downstairs (or is that supposed to be 'downslide'?). She landed in the basin of cold water and screamed. Sirius was laughing his head off in the corner as Lily blinked her eyes.

"I'm gonna kill you Enid! As soon as I can see you, I'm gonna kill you!" Enid and Sirius soon came into Lily's focus, and she jumped up, pulling out her wand and aiming a random curse at their heads. They ducked, still in hysterics, and ran in opposite directions.

"You're both dead! I'm not gonna rest until you are both cold and clammy in your graves!"

"Paints a lovely picture for you, doesn't she Enid?" Sirius roared with laughter. By this time, many Griffindor students were climbing (and sliding) into the Common Room. The Marauders were among them, all still in their night clothes (which, for Remus and James, were their boxers). Peter pointed this out to James and Remus a bit too late though, because they had both gone to try and deprive Lily of her wand, which was shooting curses left, right, and center.

"Lily! Drop the wand!" Remus shouted over all the encouraging shouts and cheers from the older students, laughter from Sirius and Enid, and gasps from the few younger students. Of course, it was lucky that many of the Griffindors had left the previous day, because it took James and Remus less time to reach the sodden Lily.

When they saw their friends' attire, Sirius and Enid doubled up with new laughter, but they had to pause in their laughing long enough to dodge behind a sofa because Lily was still aiming hexes.

Remus and James quickly thought up a plan for getting Lily's wand off her, without seeing each other's clothing - of course, and, just as quickly, put it into action. Remus ducked around an armchair and narrowly avoided getting in the way of one of Lily's spells, while James crawled over to her feet and (while admiring her sleek and sexy legs), pulled them out from under her.

"James! I'm so gonna kill you after I finish with these two!"

Lily aimed her final two curses (which turned Sirius' head into a potato, and Enid's into a tomato) before Remus could reach her, but then he grabbed her hand, and held her wand above his head as James pinned her to the ground.

Lily, seeing that she had hit Sirius and Enid at least once, decided to stop struggling and lay quietly on the floor.

"Okay everyone, clear off. Back to your beds!" Randolph, the Head Boy, came down the stairs. _He_ was fully dressed, "Okay, Lily. What've you been up to and why?" He studied her dripping-wet clothes.

"Oh nothing, Randolph; just a bit of fun," she giggled.

"You've been _hexing_ your _friends_?" Randolph took in the vegetable-headed _pair_ (not pear) in the corner, who were still laughing, "Interesting, 'cause usually, people only hex their enemies… You don't have to see Professor Dumbledore _this_ time, but twenty points will be taken from Griffindor, and take it as a warning. Now, either go back to bed, or down to breakfast, please."

"Thanks Randy. All I need to do is find some new friends, and then I can assure you that it won't happen again." Lily smiled as Randolph left them.

"_Randy_?" James and Remus snorted at the same time.

"I _knew_ sleeping with the Head Boy would come in handy _some_time," Lily said matter-of-factly, but, seeing the disgusted look on Remus' face, and the unbelieving, disgusted, surly, jealous face on James (yes, he _can_ look all of that at once), then she giggled and said, "Merlin, I was joking! You looked at me like you actually thought I would sleep with him! Is that _supposed_ to be taken as an insult?"

Sirius, Peter, and Enid saved Remus and James by coming over to where they lay on the floor. Peter was the only one of those three without a vegetable for a head. Lily yanked her wand away from Remus, and muttered the counter-jinx, so that in a few seconds, Enid and Sirius had their own heads again. Then Enid used her own wand to perform a drying spell on Lily, who had started to shiver.

"That wasn't funny, you inconsiderate, mean, waking-uppy people! Why not James, eh? Or Lydia? Or Christine? I hate you all, and when I conquer the world, you will be the first to go…"

"What?" James asked. He had just pulled Lily up off the ground (enjoying the whole 'being so close to her' thing) and she was looking him up and down, trying to hide a smile.

"UUMMmm… Nice outfit." Everyone cracked up as James looked down and saw his attire (light blue boxers, which showed off his muscles very nicely).

"Shit!" he said, "Well, you too!" James was admiring Lily's clothing at the same time.

Lily looked down at her own outfit, "Enid! What the hell. How slutty is this? Gaahh! Die twice!"

Enid looked at Lily's cute outfit and protested, "It's not slutty. It's totally, un-slutty. Right guys, two of which are _still_ in their boxers?"

James knew _he_ was in his boxers, but all of the guys present looked down at themselves, just to be sure. Remus said, "AAhhh, dammit!" and was right behind James on the stairs.

Sirius and Peter (both afraid of Enid and Lily) nodded vigorously, "Not slutty at all! No sir-ee. Not slutty in the least."

"This, coming from guys who tried to watch me in the shower! I'm going to change!"

"Oh, no you're not! You're coming to Hogsmeade, now!" Enid started pulling Lily towards the Portrait hole, despite her many protests.

"What makes you think I'm still willing to go with you?"

Enid made a puppy face, which always melted Lily. "Fine, I'll go. But, I'm _so_ staying away from the Three Broomsticks this time."

Sirius suggested, "We can '_so_' meet you guys at ten in Honeydukes?"

"Yeah," Enid agreed.

"Oh, and Lily, he likes the outfit."

"What makes you think I want to listen to you, you evil, prank-playing, arsehole? And I couldn't care less if he does or not! Plus, I think you'll find that you're wrong." Lily stormed out of the Portrait Hole, now pulling _Enid _along.

Sirius grinned at Enid as she was dragged away, and invited Peter to play a game of wizard's chess.

_Author's Note: Sorry; there's a lot of U2 in this chapter. But they are brilliant and talented, so it's not really a bad thing. If you have any questions, ask them when you REVIEW! PLEASE REVIEW! I (this time I mean it), will only post if I reach over twelve reviews (such a low number; sad). Now you can review._

_-Kat_


	8. Christmas Shopping for the Undeserving

_Author's Note: Hiya! Thanks for reviewing (this chapter is dedicated to crazylily too, for getting people to review); I really appreciate it. Anyway, there are a lot of things that people can be offended by in this chapter, but none of it means anything or is meant to be taken personally. I have nothing against anyone; some stuff just fit right into the story. Enjoy!_

_-Kat _

Chapter eight – Christmas Shopping for the Undeserving

"Tell me again, why I had to be up at the crack of dawn?" Lily was still complaining about that.

"Oh, let's split up for half an hour to buy each other's presents."

"You don't deserve a present."

"Eight-thirty, back here. See ya." Enid flounced off.

Lily cruised around for about ten minutes, when she found herself standing in front of a small Quidditch store, that she had never seen before. Lily pushed open the door and looked around at the small shop. There were broomsticks on racks behind the desk, Quidditch magazines right by the door, but, what interested Lily most, was a stand in the corner of the store labeled, _Quidditch – Personalized._ There were little figures of Quidditch players which actually moved on tiny, flying broomsticks, and separate flying miniature brooms, and even sets of Quidditch balls and pitches.

Lily was startled by a tap on the shoulder, and she turned around to see an old man, around fifty, wearing inch-thick glasses, which creepily magnified his grey eyes.

"Can I help you, miss?" the shop keeper asked.

"Is this you?" Lily had picked up a tiny figurine Quidditch player, wearing royal purple robes, and carrying a broomstick. There was writing on the robes, which matched that on the shop keeper's nametag (which read Stanley Charm). The figurine had the same wispy grey hair and thick glasses in amazing detail.

"Yes, my dear. I look at someone's picture, and make them into a personalized Quidditch player. I also write their names on the broomstick, or I do that separately. Are you interested?"

"I am, thank you. How many figurines could you finish by the end of the day?"

"I could do two at most, as well as a number of personalized balls, pitches, broomsticks, and separate robes."

"Then, could I please get two personalized figurines, two personalized Beater's clubs, two pairs of personalized robes, and one personalized broomstick?"

"Absolutely. Just come over here dear." Stanley lead Lily over to his desk, on which stood a machine that looked just like, "A COMPUTER!" Lily gasped. "I haven't seen one of these since the summer. Surely it can't work in the wizarding world?"

"I have charmed my store, so that muggle machines can work in here, but I have also charmed the computer to do what I want it to. This has a special search on it, so that I can just type in someone's name, and a detailed picture of them shows up. Watch. What is your name and age, child?"

"Lily Evans, fifteen, sir."

"Call me Stanley, and start writing down the names for each personalized item on that form."

Personalized Item

Name and Quidditch Team

Name and Quidditch Team

Total number of each Item

Broomstick: 3g, 6s, 3k

Enid Allows – Tutshill Tornadoes

1

Beater's Club: 1g, 5k

Christine Carpollo – Appleby Arrows

Sirius Black – Puddlemere United

2

Balls: (individual) 25s, (together) 4g, 1s

Figurine: 6g, 8s, 1k

Lily Evans – Kenmare Kestrels

James Potter – Puddlemere United

2

Robes: 3g, 5k

Enid Allows – Tutshill Tornadoes

Sirius Black – Puddlemere United

2

Pitch: 10g, 5s

Total Number of Items

7

**To Be Ready For: **4:30 pm on Wednesday, 15th of December

**Recipient of Order:** Lily Evans

**First Price:** 24 galleons & 7 knut tax

**Total Price: **

24 galleons, 1 sickel, and 2 knuts

"Well, that'll be half of my Christmas shopping done. Thank you. And, you can do all of this by tonight?"

"Yes, of course I can, but, do you mind staying for a second and confirming the pictures that show up of you and this James fellow?"

Lily nodded and followed him to the computer. "Yes, that's me," she said, looking at a picture on the screen, of her, sitting and swinging on the swing beside the lake in the Hogwarts grounds, surrounded by her friends, "Where _do_ you get these?" She was now studying the picture of James beside her own. He was pretending to duel Sirius with his shoe, and Sirius was laughing, and responding with a banana. It was a truly character-capturing image of the two jokers. "Yes, that's James. On the right."

"Good, now come back at five to pick them up, will you? Have a nice day, and you can pay now."

Lily said thank you and dug in her purse for the money.

Enid was having less luck than Lily in finding gifts for her friends. James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus were easy (dungbombs, a book of hexes, chocolate, and Quidditch magazines), but what the hell was she supposed to get Lily, Lydia, and Christine? Then Enid spotted the shop that Sirius and Lydia had found last Hogsmeade weekend. 'Ewww… Cutesy name,' Enid thought, wrinkling her nose, 'Just right for Lydia'.

As soon as she was in the shop, Enid spotted a really nice necklace. It was a midnight blue stone set in a silver 'E' frame, on a silver chain. Enid was half way to the pay-desk, when she remembered who she was supposed to be shopping for.

Christine, who had been woken by the excitement in the Common Room that morning, had gotten out of bed and followed Lily and Enid to Hogsmeade. Then she had followed Enid when she and Lily had split up, and was planning to bump into her, 'by chance' in Honeydukes.

As soon as Enid left the jewelry shop, carrying Lydia's bracelets in a small bag, Christine (who had been hiding behind a group of random third years – all giving her funny looks) shot into the shop and grabbed the necklace Enid had been looking at.

_(A/N: The following would hardly have happened, but this is pretend, remember!)_

"Lydia, am I supposed to feel bad for spying on your friends?" Sirius asked as Lydia ducked and pulled him around a corner, waiting for Christine to leave the shop.

"No, it's for her own good. I need to find her, Enid, and Lilys' presents, and it helps if they want what they get. Plus I need to find you a present, and James, and Remus, and Peter. Geez, what the heck do you want for Christmas anyway. I hate the person who came up with gift-giving! So, what do you want?"

"I dunno…"

"See, that's why I hate it. No one knows what they want, but, if given it, they know exactly what they don't want. Cruddy hypocritical people!"

"Speaking of hypocrites, what do you want for Christmas?" Sirius grinned at Lydia.

"I don't… Sirius! You know I hate it when you're right, which is, like, all the time, so can't you just _pretend_ not to be a smart-ass git, for once!"

"I can be bribed…" Sirius stroked his chin, thoughtfully.

"Oh, for God's sake!" Lydia turned from her spying, and stood on her tip toes. She pressed her lips against his, and even allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. _(A/N: I think this is one of the grossest things possible, but, hey, to each their own…)_

"Now will you shut up and cooperate?" Lydia sighed.

Sirius looked rather stunned, "Hey, I was only talking, nothing wrong with my cooperation!"

"Come on, she's gone!" Lydia had resumed her post, and was now tugging on Sirius' shirt for him to follow.

In the store, Lydia looked around. She sniffed the air and commented, "Enid was here before Christine. Her perfume is pine-y, and Christine's smell is fruit-y. So, Christine was probably picking up a present for Enid…"

"What about this for Christine?" Sirius laughed and held up a puke green and hot pink, feathered hat. Lydia stuck her tongue out at him and headed for the skirt section. "Have you noticed that Christine doesn't wear skirts too often? She should; she has nice legs, and I hate her for it."

"I dunno, I kinda like your legs." Sirius slipped his arm around her waist and rubbed her side. Lydia raised her eyebrows. Sirius bent slightly and kissed her.

"Sirius," she whined as he kissed her neck, "I need to find presents for people, and you doing that is just distracting me."

"But it's distracting you in a good way, right?" Sirius grinned, looking adorable. Lydia poked his ribs and turned back to the skirt rack. She found a tan, knee-length wrap-around one which, she concluded, would be perfect for Christine. Then, she found a really sweet golden book pendant (also for Christine) and a fuzzy purple scarf set with matching gloves for Enid, and was just inquiring into the price of a ring for Lily, when Lily herself walked in, blowing on her hands.

"Why, Lily, what a nice surprise! I never expected to see you here," Lydia smiled guiltily and shoved the ring behind her, into Sirius' hands, so that he could put it back on the shelf without Lily noticing.

"Sure, sure, Lydia. Listen, I needed to ask you, anyway. What should I get for Mum, Dad, Petunia, you, Christine (I got her a joke present, but I need something serious), Peter, and Remus?"

Sirius butted in hopefully, "Does this mean you got me, James and Enid presents already."

"I hate you and Enid and James, so NO!" Lily smiled sarcastically.

"But, why do you hate James. My ickwle buddy hasn't done anyfink to you, Silly Lily." Sirius tilted his head to one side and look sweetly confused.

Lily rolled her eyes and looked back to Lydia for advice on presents.

"We-ll," Lydia considered, dragging Lily to the next aisle (rings), so Sirius couldn't overhear them, "I need a present for Sirius, desperately. And, while you're there, you might as well help me with _my_ Mum, Dad, James, Remus and Peter."

"Okay, well, why don't we do a double present for Remus and Peter. So like, for each one, _you_ get a… something, and I get a… something to go with your something. Get it?"

"Yeah, but what? Do you think Remus would want a… box of chocolates? And then you could get him a… box of every flavour beans?"

"Okay. Original – I think not, but I have no better suggestions, so let's get him that, and Peter the same, only different candy like… lollipops and chocolate frogs!"

Lily turned to follow Lydia back to Sirius, when something caught her eye. It was a ring. A guy's silver ring. There was a black celtic cross on it, and Lily thought it was the most attractive ring (for guys – duh) that she had ever seen. "Lydia, wait. Look at this. I have to buy this. I know it's a guy's ring, but I have to buy it."

Sirius followed Lydia to Lily and inspected the ring, "Hey, you have something in common with…"

"If you say who I think you're going to say, I will ram that pointy thing up your nose," Lily indicated a magical knitting needle menacingly.

"James. He would really love that ring ya know (hint hint)." Sirius smiled defiantly.

Lily moved towards the needle, but was distracted by Christine popping up out of nowhere, "Hey, Lily. Why aren't you meeting with Enid; half an hour is long over?"

Lily looked at her watch and said, "No it isn't! What _are_ you talking about? I have five minutes before I half to meet up with her. Anyway," Lily gave Christine a funny look before taking the ring to the store clerk.

"I was trying to get her to leave so I can buy the ring for her. Seriously, I've been doing that all day, and oh crap, I shouldn't be telling you this so, Lily wait up!" Christine hurried to the desk after Lily. Sirius and Lydia both exchanged amused looks.

"Where is she?" Enid muttered to herself. She was waiting for Lily outside Madam Puddyfoot's (where they had agreed to meet), but Lily wasn't there yet.

"Where is who?" James popped up behind her.

"WAh! Oh James, you're mean, you know that? And anyway, I don't think you want to know who," Enid said turning to face him.

"Why wouldn't I?" James was being all naïve.

"It's Lily."

"Oh," James said. And then, remembering her tone the night before, when he had said all that junk about 'other escorts', and 'splitting up after their dance', he tried to ask, "Enid, I want to ask you something. Has she ever… Is she…"

Enid understood what James wanted to know, and told him, with a few of her own theories mixed in, "She's _still_ crazy about you, and you're _still_ being a prick about it. She hasn't gone out with anyone, and she thinks you hate her now, which isn't true, is it?"

"You're like a mind-reader. It's kind of creepy. I think you're going to be the next 'Cassandra Kershista'. But thanks."

_(A/N: Cassandra Kershista is the Hogwarts Divination teacher – great, great, great niece of Cassandra the Great). _

"Enid, I found this gorgeous guy's ring, and Sirius was being all… Oh, sorry, I'll wait." Lily stopped dead in her tracks as she saw James.

"No, it's alright Lils. Geez, this sounds like the part in the movie where I introduce you to James, but since you already know him…" Enid joked.

"Movie?" James was confused.

"Some muggles write stories in scripts and then film them, which is recording people performing the scripts with costumes and roles. I love movies. You should really take muggle studies next year, James." Lily's explanation just confused James even more.

"I agree," Enid giggled, "Maybe they'll teach you who Brad Pitt is." Both she and Lily erupted into fresh waves of laughter.

"Brad Pitt? Sounds like a deodorant."

"_Ha ha_ James," Lily said sarcastically, "_He_ happens to be a talented actor and super hot!"

"Hey guys, what's up?" Christine bounced over, then decided she didn't want to know, seeing Enid and Lily giggling like mad, "Let's go. Aren't you supposed to meet everyone else at Honeydukes, like, now?"

"OOOoops…" Enid and Lily stopped giggling.

Everyone met up in Honeydukes, and they wandered the streets of Hogsmeade, buying stuff when they passed shops that looked interesting. It was four twenty when Lily checked her watch and asked her friends to wait for her outside the Three Broomsticks. Then she ran all the way to the Quidditch store, and picked up her Christmas presents from Stanley who said, "Thank you, come again soon," and, "Merry Christmas".

It was just four forty, when Lily arrived, out of breath from all of the running, outside the Three Broomsticks Pub.

"I have to go," Lily told her friends, "Ball rehearsal."

"K."

"Bye."

"Have fun."

"Oh, I should go to. D'you mind?" James asked Lily if he could go with her.

"Not at all. Remus?" she replied, quite cheerfully.

The other Marauders kept winking obviously at one another, much to James and Lily's chagrin. Then Remus answered, "Not just yet thanks. I'll be along in a few; just have to buy a… drink!"

Lily raised an eyebrow at Remus, as if she didn't believe him, and then gave him a pleading sort of stare, as if expecting him to come to his senses and accompany them. He didn't, so she had no choice but to turn and start up the street with James.

They had turned the corner, not speaking, when Lily laughed suddenly.

"What?" James asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing," Lily laughed again, "It's stupid, really."

"No, really, what?" James wouldn't drop it, so Lily explained.

"It's just, my friend, Adam, from home, he told me this load of junk, which happens to be all he tells me, about 'every time there is an awkward silence, a gay baby is born'. I know it's stupid, but every time there's an awkward silence, I just start thinking, 'gay baby, gay baby, gay baby', and it just really makes me laugh. Course, then it makes me homesick, which isn't so good, but it starts out as something that makes me laugh, which is the point, really."

_(A/N: Sorry, I have nothing against gays, lesbians, hetero-sexuals… It is just something one of my friends told me, and it seemed like it fit the moment; no offence was meant by it)._

"Oh," James laughed, "I think I heard that somewhere too. So, it really makes you homesick?"

"Yeah, I guess. Don't you ever get homesick?"

"No, I guess not. I mean, my Dads' always at the ministry (he works there), my Mums' always out shopping, or with her friends, or organizing parties, and my friends are all here, well, mainly. I don't have any siblings. The only things I have to miss are my room, my pool, and my library."

"Your pool? You have a pool?" Lily gaped and James nodded, so she continued, "I've always wanted a pool, but my sister, Petunia, can't swim, so she doesn't want my parents to get one. And, of course, they listen. And, library? I would love to have a library. I never took you for a library misser; you always seemed more like a 'Cindy Crawford poster' misser."

"I like books, I guess. I mean, I'll never read like you do, but they're alright by my standards. And, Cindy Crawford? D'you mean Lolita Crawford?"

And the walk up to the castle continued like that. Lily and James both seemed like they were enjoying themselves; laughing, talking…

Then they reached the Entrance Hall to the castle. Professor McGonagoll, Professor Dumbledore, the Hufflepuffs, and the Head Boy and Girl were the only ones there.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, how nice." Dumbledore smiled good-naturedly at them, "We are just waiting for the Ravenclaws, the Slytherins, and the last Griffindor now. While you are here, you might as well place your song choices with Julia and Randolph."

Lily requested her song, and then James asked Randolph for a song (Catch Me if I Fall) by "The Lost"; a wizarding band.

"That doesn't sound depressing at all…" Lily teased him, because he had spent a great deal of time telling her that Usher was depressing because he was such a bad singer.

_(A/N: Do not listen to James; Usher is hot and talented)._

"It's a good song. You'll like it," was all James would say about it, to which Lily responded, "Oh, and I suppose you know this because I'm really predictable, and you know everything about me?"

James didn't have to answer this, because everyone else had finally arrived, and Dumbledore chose that moment to command their attention.

"At the ball, your classmates and fellow wizarding schools will be down here, watching as, two-by-two, you come down the staircase. From the bottom of the stairs, you will follow your Head Boy and Girl into the Great Hall for a Christmas dinner, and that will be followed by dancing. That is what we shall practice now, starting from the stairs."

He gestured for everyone to climb the staircase and waited until they were all at the top, to speak again, "Now, you start to descend when the pair in front of you is situated at the bottom of the staircase. Please begin; the Head Boy and Girl first."

Julia walked to the edge of the staircase and placed her arm through Randolph's. They began to walk slowly down the middle of the staircase, neither of them holding the railing. Then the next pair lined up, and so on, until James couldn't stand it anymore, "Come on; either hurry it up or trip, you bloody morons. Are you so damn thick that you can't figure out how to walk down stairs?"

"James," Lily giggled, "Shh… They'll hear you."

"Well, they might not, because they must think the normal pace of talking AND WALKING is in hyper-speed 'cause they're going so SLOWLY! Seriously, it's just a staircase. It doesn't take a normal person that long to climb down a staircase."

"Oh, and I suppose you would prefer it if we were all flying down?" Lily smiled at her escort.

"Well, maybe, but these wankers are probably even slower on their broomsticks, because their FAT HEADS slow them down," James grinned back at Lily.

"Just, do me a favour, okay?"

"What?"

"Don't let me fall. And, if you can avoid it, don't let me make a fool of myself. Remember, I haven't done this before."

"Evans, just stick close to me. From all these years of those stupid parties, I'm and expert," James grinned again and, seeing that they were next, offered Lily his arm. Lily smiled and slid her arm through his, her heart pulsing furiously.

"James Potter; Griffindor House Quidditch Captain, and Lily Evans; Griffindor House Prefect!" Professor McGonagoll's voice rang out across the hall. James steered Lily towards the first step as she whispered to him, "Chauvinists! Why is it always the guys' name first?"

James snorted and replied, "Because we are obviously the superior sex!" Lily pinched his hand and swore to stand on his toe in her heels. He winced at the thought.

"Wonderful!" Dumbledore clapped his hands as Lily and James reached the bottom of the stairs," My only suggestion for improvement is that you work harder to conceal your laughter." Dumbledore winked at them before turning to watch the next pair coming down the marble staircase.

There were three pairs left to go down the stairs; two Slytherins (Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black), Remus and Marrella, both smiling nervously at one another, and Carter Hall (very good-looking Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain) with Kate Orr (his prefect girlfriend).

James and Lily spent the rest of the rehearsal stepping on each other's feet for fun, when they were dancing, flirting, and making fun of the other pairs. They were having such a good time that they completely forgot how uncomfortable they usually were around each other.

"James, over here," Sirius called. It was seven o'clock in the evening, after the ball rehearsal, and James and Sirius had sneaked back to Hogsmeade so that Sirius could show James the necklace that Lydia had spotted for Lily.

"That's great," James said, picking up the necklace and examining it, "Jesus, I think it's real gold!"

The salesperson trotted over to them and said, "Yes, zir, Zat ise von of ze onle rèale gold pieces zat ve haf. EEt ise razere 'pricey', as you engleesh might say."

"I'll take it." James said, wincing at the French-ness of the dude.

_(A/N: Sorry to all of the French people, because I can't write accents very well – as you can see above. No offence was meant). _

_Author's Note: See what I meant by 'can be offensive if taken the wrong way'? It's all meant well… Anyway, the next chapter is called 'Quidditch and More Shopping' (descriptive, huh?), and I will post it when I reach around 27 reviews (felt like going for a random, but reachable, number). In writing ahead, I'm at chapter sixteen, and am having fun writing it. Anyway, you know what? I listen to music when I write (sometimes this is a bad thing, because I sing along and forget what I'm writing), to get me in the mood (when I'm writing corny stuff, I listen to Grease music; when I'm writing sad stuff, I listen to random songs; and when I'm writing stuff about stripping – yes, this sounds weird, but there is stripping in later chapters; just for fun – I listen to stripper music from The Full Monty – good movie). OOhhh… Random stripping story: My friends and I were going on a three-day trip with our school last year, and we decided to play strip poker on the bus/coachy thing. Well, it turned out that none of us actually knew how to play poker (I can play Blackjack, Pontoon… just not poker per say), so we played strip go fish at the back of the bus. One of the guys almost took off his shirt, but our evil teacher was sitting right behind us, so he stopped him. Sorry, but you had to be there. rolls on ground laughing and pounding fist on the ground. Whew! Long Author's Note!_

_-Kat _


	9. Quidditch and More Shopping

_Author's Note: Sorry, I know this is a short chapter, but the next one is longer. Anyway, thanks for the reviews; you guys rock! To sittingcow, I don't think I'll be killing Lily anytime soon, but it's nice that you took a break from herding cows to review. So, here's the next chapter. Fluffy-stuff rox!_

_-Kat_

Chapter nine – Quidditch and More Shopping

"Lil-ly! Christine! Come on! We need dresses!" Lydia and Enid were each pulling one of their friends behind them on the sidewalk.

_(A/N: Chances are that the students wouldn't be allowed to go to Hogsmeade whenever the wanted, even in the holidays, but they can (for the holidays) in this story). _

"I don't want to wear a dress!" Christine complained.

"Yeah, I don't even have a date, so why do I have to go anyway?" Lily protested as Enid pulled her into a _'Madam Minkin's Little Miss Robes'_ outlet store.

_(A/N: Madam Minkin is Madam Malkin's sister). _

"Duh Lily!" Lydia rolled her eyes, "James!"

"He probably already made plans with some other girl. I told you how much he wanted to get rid of me," Lily kept up her side of the argument, even though her stomach did a little belly-flop when his name was mentioned.

_(A/N: The dress robes for girls are just dresses). _

"Shut up Lily, and tell me if you think this would look good on me," Enid held up a long, one-strap midnight blue dress, with silver embroidery up the sides.

"Oh, my gosh, Enid. Try it on. That will look fantastic on you."

Lily was amazed, when Enid came out of the dressing room in the beautiful gown. It clung to her hips just right, and flattered her chest by the low neck. All of Enid's friends gasped and smiled when they saw her. She did look fabulous.

Lydia grabbed a long and pale, 'off-the-shoulder' dress, which fanned out nicely at the bottom when she twirled. The pink shade with her blonde hair made her look like a super-model (and only _slightly_ like a Barbie).

They forced Christine into a pretty, long, yellow dress which was (for Christine) very low-cut, but for every one else, just normal.

Lily was having trouble finding a dress that didn't clash with her flaming hair. That is, until Christine (I know; _Christine_ finding it is surprising, but she has an eye for this sort of thing) found a perfect one made of a silky, green material.

The girls bought their dresses and moved on to the _'Madam Malkin's Little Boys' Robes', _where the guys were supposed to be getting their own dress robes.

"Sirius, you look like the Easter Bunny gone horribly wrong," James said disgustedly as he looked the powder-pink robes Sirius was trying on up and down.

"I agree," Peter pretended to gag, making James and Remus laugh, but Sirius scowl.

"Geez Wormtail, it's not like I'm gonna buy them," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I just wanted a laugh, but it's more embarrassing than funny."

"I think you should buy them," Lydia said with a surprisingly straight face, "They match my dress."

Sirius' face went white, "You can't be serious Lydia. They're pink, I can't buy them…"

"Relax, I was joking. They're hideous; take them off."

Sirius' face returned to its' normal colour, and he calmed down enough to go back to his sick, joking ways, and say, "If you insist…" He started to undo the robes. The girls rolled their eyes (Lydia hit him), but the rest of the guys laughed.

"Not here, smart-ass!" Lydia pushed him into a changing room.

_(A/N: Sure, you don't need a changing room because (hopefully) they wear pants under those things, but use your imagination). _

"James," Peter hissed in an undertone when everyone had resumed their 'robe-searching', "I still don't have a date for the ball."

"No problem," James winked, "Hey, Christine!"

"Yeah?" Christine yelled back from across the shop.

"You wanna go to the ball with Peter?"

"Sure!" Christine shrugged when Lily, Enid, and Lydia all looked at her funny, "I don't have a date yet, so what the heck?"

Sirius (with Lydia's input), finally decided on a simple, black set of dress robes. So did Peter (who copied Sirius because Christine couldn't have cared less what he wore, as long as he wore something). Remus, whom Lily and Enid had been helping, didn't know what to buy, so Lily helped him out a bit, by telling him that Marrella's dress was blood red. This helped him to choose a dark blue set of robes.

"Are you going to buy that, James?" Lily made a face, "Because it makes you look like you belong either at a drag club, or in a strip joint."

James, who had been trying on the ugliest robes he could find all day, was standing on the mirror platform in shiny, gold, ugly robes. He surveyed himself mock-thoughtfully, "So they're really that bad, huh?"

Lily nodded. Then James asked, "So, what colours' your dress then?"

"Green. Everything else clashes with my hair, unfortunately."

"Oh, how about I wear this, then?" James held up a 'Robin Hood'-ish set of robes and twirled.

"How about not?" Lily said sarcastically, "Why don't you just try on something normal? Like…" Lily scanned the racks, "This!"

Christmas Eve day dawned bright and sunny, everything covered in snow. Lily, who was not usually a morning person, was up early for once. She had nothing to do, so she just sat on the windowsill in the Common Room, staring out at the snowy-white grounds.

Then, she saw a dark-haired figure, holding a package, trudging through the snow towards the forest. James! She watched him stop at the Game Keeper's hut and disappear into it. He was going to see Hagrid. Lily quite liked Hagrid; he was always polite and friendly, plus, he was always baking toffee. MMmmm… Who didn't love toffee?

"James!" Hagrid exclaimed, "Thought yeh'd forgotten about me."

"Sorry Hagrid; I've been so damn busy lately. It's not like I didn't want to come down here, I just… You're joking!" James grinned and pulled up a chair.

"Yeah, I'm joking. I've seen you playing Quidditch non-stop. Your team is pretty good, compared to last years'. 'Specially your Keeper. She's new isn't she?"

"Yeah. She is." James' face darkened.

"Sounds like you're not 'er biggest fan; who is she?"

"Lily Evans."

"OOhhh, so that's her is it? But what happened? I thought you fancied her?"

"Just open your present." James thrust the long stripey parcel into Hagrid's hands.

Hagrid felt around it for a bit, just to try and see if he could guess what it was. He couldn't, so Hagrid tore open the wrapping paper and pulled out a pink umbrella.

"A pink umbrella? Thanks James… I think."

"It was the only one that fit. Watch," James took the umbrella from Hagrid and aimed at an apple on the table. He muttered _'Accio'_, and the apple soared towards him. James grinned as Hagrid took his present back with a new found affection, "My old… How'd yeh…?"

"Sirius and Remus helped; we just found an umbrella the right size (we figured it's not unusual to see you with an umbrella in the grounds), put the pieces inside the tube-y thing, and 'voila' (uugghh – French)!"

"UUgghh… French? Had a run in with some foreigners, I take it?"

"Yeah, kinda," James mumbled while Hagrid made some tea to celebrate.

"Gonna tell me about it?"

James shook his head, so Hagrid said, "Didn think so. Well, now I can threaten to zap it out of yeh…"

So James told Hagrid all about Lily, Eric, and the ball. Hagrid was a great listener and he gave good advice, so James didn't mind him commenting afterwards.

James came into the Common Room at around ten to find Enid and Lydia studying their magazines, Sirius and Remus playing a game of wizard's chess with Peter 'ooo-ing' and 'aaahhhh-ing' when either of them made a smart move, and Christine and Lily, each curled up with a book.

A chorus of 'where have you been' s greeted him, to which he responded, "I was at Hagrid's".

"Oh, okay…" and everyone went back to themselves.

James took off his cloak and removed his boots. Then he took them up to his room and changed his trousers (they had gotten all wet and slushy because he had fallen over on his way back up to the castle).

Once James had returned to the Common Room, Sirius made a random suggestion:

"Tonight's Christmas Eve, right?"

"Right. Sirius, is there a point to your sudden interest in the date?"

"Yes, there is Silly Lily…"

"Call me that once more and I shove your broomstick up your ass…"

"Yuck! No call for violence," he held up his hands in peace signs, indicating that he 'comes in peace', "Anyway, like I was saying. As it's Christmas Eve, the most fun thing to do when you were little, was camp out by your chimney, right?"

"Sure."

"Well, if so, I am suggesting that all of us do that tonight. You know, we stay up late talking, wake up to presents… All that good stuff. Everyone in?"

A general murmer of agreement came from everyone in the room.

"But," Enid said, partly to make it interesting, and partly for Lily, "Everyone has to wear what they usually wear to bed."

Sirius, who didn't mind his girlfriend seeing him in boxers, agreed readily. James however said, "No undergarments on the bottom half though. Just something close."

Remus nodded his head in agreement, but Lily was shaking her head and poking Enid, "I hate you Enid. NO! Only if we can't wear undergarments on the top either!"

"Come on Evans, what's the matter? Live a little!" James smirked.

"Fine, but the ban on undergarments on bottom halves is lifted." Lily smirked back, "Or are you too embarrassed?"

"OOHhhh… Burn!" everyone laughed at James. Enid high-fived Lily.

"Okay, let's separate them before they turn it into a stripping contest." Sirius turned and opened the portrait hole, waiting for James to follow him, "Who's up for Quidditch?"

Everyone agreed (even Christine) to play, except Lydia, who was even worse on a broom than Lily.

"You guys go ahead," she bargained, "I need to catch up on my reading."

Sirius landed a quick kiss on her and left, with everyone else.

"Race you?" Enid challenged James to race to the goal hoops. He won, of course, but she had fun anyway.

"So, who's gonna play my team?" Sirius yelled from the other end of the pitch.

"Whoevers' not on my team, stupid!" James yelled back, laughing.

"I get Evans!"

"Fine, I get Enid!"

"I get Christine!"

"I get Peter and Remus!"

"Hey, you can't do that!"

"Can now!"  
"Fine! We're playing two or three Chasers and a Keeper?"

James gave Sirius the thumbs up and gathered his team into a huddle.

Sirius did the same at the other end of the pitch, "Lily, we need you in goal. James is definitely gonna play Chaser, so you can just bat your eyelashes at him if he gets too close to scoring," Sirius winced as Lily hit him, "Christine, we're gonna play Chasers. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir!" Christine and Lily both made Hitler signs at Sirius.

_(A/N: Politically incorrect AND offensive… Go me. Sorry – no offence meant)._

At the other goal post, James was assigning himself, Peter, and Remus to Chaser, and Enid to Keeper.

"Start!" James threw the Quaffle (courtesy of the Marauders) into the air and Sirius caught it.

"Christine, catch!"

Christine caught it and shot off towards Enid. She aimed well, but Enid saved it, leaving the score at 0 – 0. James got the Quaffle after that, and headed for Lily, but dropped the ball when she looked at him. She laughed, and threw the ball to one of her own teammates. Sirius scored a few times, but no one (meaning James) could get past Lily.

When Sirius' team was leading by 60 points, Enid made James switch positions with her, so Sirius switched with Lily. Enid scored twice on Sirius, bringing the score to 20 – 60. Lily then got the Quaffle and flew to James. She scored on him faking to the left and throwing to the right, a move that, had it been anyone else, he could have stopped easily.

"James, get your head in the game, and off Lily!" Enid shouted as Lily scored again. James turned red and swore not to look at Lily for the rest of the game.

When Lydia asked, later, how the game had been, Sirius crowed happily that they had won, '120 – 50', even _with_ a 'one player disadvantage'. James and Enid came in looking grumpy a few minutes later. Remus and Peter didn't really care, and had just been playing for fun anyway.

Lily and Christine had decided to stop off at the library, and meet up with them at dinner.

_Author's Note: Hiya! Did you like the (short) chapter? I had fun writing it. Anyway, the next chapter is called Christmas Eve (original, huh?), and I will post it when I've got around 35 reviews (hey, if I don't set the goals further away, I'll run out of story, and that would suck, because I like being prepared). Please keep reviewing points at review button and I'll keep updating sets up neon flashing arrow sign pointed at review button. Hot chocolate and lemons!_

_-Kat_


	10. Christmas Eve

_Author's Note: Hiya dudes! Thanks for the reviews. I'm updating because I'm bored, and have nothing better to do. So, I was lying in bed yesterday, thinking, 'God, I am brilliant!'… Just joking! I was actually thinking about my story. It needs to be funnier, so I'm going to be putting in more funny stuff whenever I can (probably starting in chapter sixteen, which is where I'm at, pre-writing). Sirius is such a funny and ridiculous character, that I'm going to put a lot more random stuff with him in it (though, to tell the truth, I am surprised that I haven't done that already…). Now, enjoy this random and weird chapter, and no, I don't do this with my friends (much… hehe). _

_-Kat _

Chapter ten – Christmas Eve

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and James, were sitting with the girls at the seemingly empty Griffindor table (it wasn't really empty, just a lot of the younger students had left for the holidays, so there were random spaces all around).

"So, we get loads of junk food from the kitchens, get everyone's pillows, and grab some random sheets from the laundry?"

"Sounds good, Sirius, but, what if someone else wants the Common Room tonight?" Lily questioned.

"Right," Christine added, "Or if we aren't supposed to do that?"

"My guess is that you two sleep in your underwear?" Sirius teased, "Anyway, we'll just hex any students who get in our way, and the teachers won't care, as long as we don't annoy them."

Lily and Christine both stuck their tongues out at him and Remus said, "Don't do that too often; your faces'll get stuck."

"I think you're too late to save them Mooney," Peter scoffed, earning glares from the girls and high-fives from the guys.

"I've been meaning to ask you guys, what the hell are Mooney, Wormtail, and Prongs code for?" Enid looked at the boys suspiciously.

"Sorry," Peter winced.

"You forgot Padfoot," Sirius pointed out, looking offended.

James kicked him and said, "Hey, look at the time," it was only eight o'clock, "We should go up and change. We'll meet you in the Common Room at ten, huh?"

All four boys got up and bolted to the doors. "That was weird." Lydia said, shaking her head. Then the girls finished eating and left.

"That was close, Mooney," James glared at Peter, "Jesus, Wormtail, we've told you not to use the names in front of anyone else."

"I said I was sorry," Peter mumbled sulkily.

"We're not blaming you, Peter; it could happen to anyone. The point is, that now their going to start asking questions, like Enid just did." Remus raised an eyebrow at James as if to say, '_that_ wasn't very nice'. James looked down at his feet as he walked.

"It doesn't matter, anyway. Let's go down to the kitchens and get the food. We have two hours to kill." Sirius directed them downstairs, towards the kitchens.

————————

Two hours later, the Marauders were in their dormitories, changing.

"Do I look okay?" James asked, self-consciously studying himself in the mirror.

"You look like you're about to go to bed, man, and that's what we're goin' for." Sirius wasn't at all bothered by being in his boxers.

"What about me, Sirius?" Peter asked, looking at his own reflection of a t-shirt and pajama pants.

"Fine! You all look fine. Seriously, it's just the girls; not Lolita Crawford. Let's just go down."

_(A/N: Lolita Crawford is Cindy's made-up wizarding superstar sister_).

————————

In the girls' dormitory, they were having almost the same conversation.

"You all look fine, trust me," Christine rolled her eyes.

"I hate you for suggesting this Enid!" Lily surveyed her own outfit; a black bra and tight pajama bottoms with 'dancer' written on the butt.

"I second that," Lydia frowned at her reflection in her own mirror. She was wearing a hot pink bra and silver pajama pants.

Enid was wearing a crop top bra with loose shorts reading 'juicy' on the backside. She was, except for Christine (who was wearing a tank and pajama pants), the only one who wasn't all self-concious at that moment, "Let's go down." In fact, she was quite the opposite.

Enid led the way down to the Common Room, and walked head-first into Sirius, who was leading the guys down the other staircase.

"OWW! Shit, that hurts!"

"You're telling me? You have a hard head, Sirius. Damn!"

"Are you two okay?" Lydia giggled and offered Enid a hand up. Sirius gaped at Lydia once he was standing (thanks to Remus) and she giggled again, "Wha-at?"

"Nothing."

Lily was carrying her pillow in front of her, so as to hide her bra-covered chest for as long as possible. Christine had got saddled with all of the others' pillows.

"Who has candy? I need candy!" Enid demanded of the boys.

"Sorry, I guess we forgot to get candy," Remus said apologetically.

Enid just stared unbelievingly at him, then she came to her senses and shouted, "NO CANDY? WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?"

"Ouch," Remus rubbed his ear and handed her a bag of candies, "Here, I was only joking; remind me not to in future!"

"That's better!"

"Give me chocolate!" Lily always ate chocolate when she got stressed or antci or annoyed, or… anything really.

"Only if you put the pillow down," Sirius smirked at James, who glared at him (while secretly wishing that Lily wanted chocolate badly enough to remove the pillow). Well, James couldn't talk, because he was holding his own pillow in front of himself.

"Put all the food, if you can call it that, down on the coffee table, and get comfortable." Enid instructed.

The guys dumped their loot on the table and sat down (James and Sirius on two sofas by themselves, and Peter and Remus on one together). Lydia (Sirius still gaping at her) sat down on Sirius' couch, and Enid and Christine grabbed the other one, leaving Lily to sit down beside James. She knew what they were up to, and silently thanked them for it, but, to keep up appearances, glared at them.

_(A/N: I've just noticed, but there is a lot of 'glaring' involved in this story). _

"Okay, any suggestions for what we do?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Hows about a quick game of 'truth or dare'?" Enid grinned demonically.

"What the hell is 'truth or dare'?" Peter wanted to know.

"Well…" Enid began, but Lily cut across her, "Just a muggle game, Peter, it's really no fun, so let's not bother."

"Lily, calm down. I play with different rules. Anyway, let's say it's my go and Lily's asking me; I can pick either truth (which is answering any one question Lily chooses ask me), or dare (which is any one thing Lily can think of to ask me to do). An example would be: Lily, pick 'truth or dare'."

Lily made a face and said 'dare'. Enid then said, "Go and jump in the lake naked. Now, she would have to do that. As you can see, I pay dirty. The rules are: #1. nothing outside, because it's bloody freezing out there, #2. no dares to do with screwing, 'cause that's just majorly messed up, #3. no asking straight out, 'who someone likes', because that's uncomfortable and boring, #4. no picking truth twice in a row, but you can do dare as many times as you want, #5. no repeating truths or dares – they can be similar, but not the same, and #6. no refusing dares or truths. You can refuse one of each in the whole game, but, after you do that, bare in mind that _I_ can easily think up a new, worse one. Oh, and if you're involved in a double dare (where you're part of someone else's dare), you can't use your freebie."

Everyone looked rather scared, so Enid said, "Come on, you chickens; my friends back home made me skinny dip in my crush's pool, without permission, when he was home!"

Everyone looked stunned by this news, and slightly more frightened, but they all agreed to play.

"Enid goes first," Sirius ordered, "Enid, truth or dare?"

"Truth. I always warm up with a truth."

"If you had to choose one of the guys in fifth year to show your underwear draw to, who would it be, and why?" Sirius grinned at James.

"Remus," Remus looked shocked and embarrassed, "Because, being Remus, he would either look away, or get really embarrassed, which I find endlessly entertaining."

Everyone except Remus laughed.

"Now it's my turn to ask… Peter. Truth or dare?" Enid pinned Peter down with her gaze.

"Me? Umm…Truth?" Peter squeaked.

"What are those nicknames about?"

"Ummm…" Peter looked nervously at Remus, James and Sirius, who all looked at him expectantly. Then he decided on, "I think I'll pass on that one."

"Are you sure? I mean, no one can ask that again, but this means that we can ask you any embarrassing thing we like, like who, of the fifth year guys, would you most like to go out with if you had no choice, and you'll have to answer it."

Peter didn't trust himself to speak, so he just looked at the ground and nodded.

"Okay, fair enough. Peter, it's your turn to ask someone."

"Umm… Christine, truth or dare?"

"Dare. I'm not afraid of you."

"Humph… Well, lift up your shirt in front of one guy in the room for ten seconds."

"You have to pick the guy."

"Fine, Remus." James and Sirius laughed when Peter said this.

"OHH… Come on. This is not fair. You guys are ganging up on me."

"Shut up. And anything goes, Enid?"

"Anything goes, as long as it's not mentioned in the rules."

"Okay. Where?"

"Over in the corner, away from the window."

Remus closed his eyes tightly, and tried to go where he was supposed to go, but, since he had his eyes shut, he crashed into the coffee table. "Okay, closing eyes when over there."

Christine rolled her eyes and whispered something in his ear. He laughed and followed her into the corner, eyes open.

"Go." Peter looked down at his watch.

Christine had her back to the sofa crowd, and was facing only Remus, so everyone else could see only her back. She pulled up her shirt so that… her bra was visible.

Everyone, except Peter, burst into laughter. "Cheap Christine, cheap!"

"Peter, are my ten seconds up yet?"

"Yeah. That was cheap!"

"You didn't specify, and I'm still gonna get you back for trying."

"Meh!"

"Okay, Christine's turn to ask someone."

"Lydia, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Would you be jealous if Sirius kissed someone else, even if it were just in this game, or if you guys break up?"

"Umm… Yeah, I guess." Lydia blushed. Sirius grinned and she hit him.

"Now, that's what I call a loving relationship," James commented, "One where they're still together, even though she hits him five times a day."

Lydia stuck her tongue out at James and said, "Fine, James, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Okay," Lily was praying silently that her friend wouldn't say it, "Kiss one of the girls in this room on the lips, then tell us why you chose her."

'Well,' Lily thought, 'It could have been worse; it could have been specified towards me.' She just sat, her heart pounding so loud she was afraid the others would hear it.

James, to most people's surprise, got up and walked over to Enid. He bent down and kissed her lightly on the lips. Of course, she kneed him in the groin right afterwards, spitting and wiping her mouth while swearing and going, "EEWWW… Gross!", but he did do his dare.

"O-k, why Enid?"

James hobbled over to his seat, "Because she was the only single person I could think of who wouldn't hex me, yell at me, or cry, if I kissed her."

"Ouch…" Lily murmured quietly.

Sirius gave James a disgusted look and said, "Okay, now that James has finished being a prick, it's his turn to ask someone."

"Remus, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Okay, who, in year five, are you obsessed with, and don't even think about lying?"

Remus coughed to hide his words.

"What was that? Sorry, didn't hear it properly."

"Marrella Goldberg. But I'm not obsessed, really!"

"Well, she'll be sorry to hear that. She wouldn't mind if you were, Remus." Enid exchanged grins with Lily; anything to get her friend to smile.

Remus turned red, and everyone laughed.

"Lily, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"If you had to choose one of the members of staff to screw, who would it be?"

"You know, for someone as quiet as you, you sure do have a dirty mind. This cannot be lorded over me at any point, but, Professor Snape."

Everyone looked so stunned she admitted that she had been joking and that it would actually be Professor Salandro (okay, so his subject of Astronomy was boring, but he was young, nice, and good looking with his black hair, dark skin, and chocolatey-brown eyes). Her friends breathed a sigh of relief, and asked her to stop joking like that.

"And, Sirius, if Lydia doesn't mind," Lily beckoned Lydia to the side and told her the plan. Lydia laughed and said that he 'so wasn't gonna kiss her afterwards', but she agreed, "Okay Sirius, kiss James on the lips. And, if you refuse this, we can always dare you next time, to kiss two guys in the room, or something like that."

"AAwww, gross Lily. He's just not my type. Please not that? Eeww.. Not that." Sirius shook his head violently to rid his head of the image of kissing James.

"You gonna skip this one?"

James nodded frantically at Sirius. Sirius gulped and said, "Umm… Yes!"

"Okay people, new rule: no homosexual or lesbian dares but that one still counts." Enid declared.

"Now I get to ask… Lily! Truth or dare?"

"She can't pick truth because she had it last time, so it's gotta be dare."

"Right, so, remove the pillowcase and stay like that for the rest of the game."

"Perv! No!"

"Does this mean you skip?" Sirius smirked.

"No… Fine, but you didn't say anything about my arms." Lily slid the strategically placed pillow over a smidgen, then used her arms to cover herself. She smirked back at Sirius, and Enid said, "Now all you need to worry about is SOMEONE PUTTING THEIR ARM AROUND YOU to try to UNDO YOUR BRA!"

Sirius' arm was around Lydia's shoulders, so she quickly slid over on the sofa, away from his arm. He made a face at Enid.

With some random truths and dares in between, including Christine admitting that she used to listen to Wizard's Club (really geeky wizard band), the fifth years got bored by their game.

"Two more dares!" Christine decided.

Lily quickly said, "Remus, tomorrow, at the ball, kiss Marrella on the lips. You agree? If you refuse this, I'll just tell you to feel her up instead."

Remus agreed to the first dare, turning paler by the minute at the thought.

"You have an interesting way of match-making," James laughed. Lily didn't really feel like laughing about it with James though, so she just nodded.

"Fine, the last dare is for James."

"What, I get to pick truth, don't I?"

"Christine said two more 'dares', didn't she? And I need to get you back for the other one. So, French someone single, not deadly, and not scary in the room."

"Peter…" James grinned at Peter.

Peter's eyes widened and he slid as far away from James as he could get on his sofa, without falling off the end.

"Is it supposed to be a girl, because I can't think of one who isn't scary." All of the girls threw pillows at him.

"Yes. Just improvise."

"Okay."

Lily, who just expected James to kiss Enid again, was playing 'rock, paper, scissors', silently, in the air with Lydia. James had turned to face her and she didn't notice, so he cleared his throat, which startled her into turning to see him, there.

"Huh?" Lily was facing James now, but she had pretty much forgotten about his dare. He tilted her head upwards and leaned in for the kiss.

'Lily, don't move,' Lily was thinking, 'just sit here, being surprised, don't act like you like it, 'cause you don't'.

James was pressing his open lips against hers, slipping his tongue inside her mouth, feeling the inside of it. He was thinking, 'God, I love this. Kissing Lily, but she can't know that, she had someone else…'

James drew back and turned back to Remus, "Good?"

Remus nodded. Peter grinned at James, who did nothing in return. Sirius looked stoney-faced, like James was disappointing him or something.

Lily had got the pink tinges in her face again, and was staring at Christine, who was making bludger movements in the air to make Lily laugh.

"I was going to suggest a game of strip poker, but, let's just go get ready to sleep, huh?" Enid pointed to the staircases, so they could clean their teeth and stuff…

"K." Lily got up and moved to the stairs saying, 'Aren't you coming?' to the other girls.

Enid shot James an angry glare before she turned, and followed Lily. Christine wasn't long after them.

"You complete arse-hole!"

"Just, shut up, okay, Sirius? I know!"

"Hello! Still here!" Lydia pointed to herself before kissing Sirius on the cheek and climbing the staircase to the girls' bathrooms.

"James, mate, I don't know what the hell got into you tonight, but you shouldn't have done that!"

"I said, I know! Okay, Sirius? I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth! Just leave me alone!" James stormed off up the stairs.

———————

"Lily?" Lydia put down her toothbrush.

"What? Oh, I'm fine, really. It's fine."

"You sure?" Christine rubbed Lily's back gently.

A single tear ran down Lily's cheek, "I'm fine. It's fine. Fine. All fine."

"Fine? That seems to be the word of the day," Enid smiled, "I don't know what got into him, really. He's never done anything like that before…"

"I said, it's fine."

"And I said, I don't believe you. Look, Lily, he was only doing that because he thinks you're into someone else. He admitted to me that he likes you."

"I don't care!" Lily brushed the tear away and cleaned her teeth, "I'll be down in a sec, okay?"

"Okay." Her three friends left her alone and went back down. Lily washed her face and dried it, making sure that it didn't look like she had been crying.

—————————

"OUCH! Jesus!"

"Shit!"

"Hey, that seems to happen a lot, doesn't it?" Enid laughed and offered Lily a hand up.

Peter reached out to give James a hand, but he pushed it away, feeling that he didn't deserve help from anyone.

Christine did a really obviously, fake, yawn, and flopped down on her and Enids' sofa. Lily giggled.

"G'night." Christine 'yawned' again and closed her eyes. Enid pushed Christine off the couch and onto the floor, "Yeah, I'm tired too."

Christine stuck her tongue out and shoved Enid's legs onto the floor, so that she could sit down too. "That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you share a couch!" Everyone laughed and sat down on their own sofas.

"First person to wake up after six wakes everyone else up." Sirius said, setting up his pillow behind him.

"SIX?" Lily, Christine, and Lydia all yelled.

Sirius nodded and closed his eyes. Lydia shrugged, sat down and leaned against him, closing her own eyes. Remus and Peter spread out on each end of their couch, and Lily leaned against her pillow (which was as far away from James as possible).

James closed his eyes and slept.

_Author's Note: Ahhh, the pleasures of a random chapter! So, like I was saying before my 'random' twin cut in, please review. My new review-y goal is: 50 (why reach low, when you can reach for the sky, eh?)! Anywhere around there is good, though. The next chapter is called 'The 'Perfect' Prefect's ball'. So, here are my thanky-yous to reviewers; you all rock:_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… sniffs you get lots of random but yummy candy! And thanks for your reviews, too… They've helped (especially with the bold text…)._

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… snorts you get floride-tasting pretzels covered in frozen yogurt… ewwwww… who could like those? You get sour gummy worms. Nice reviews, but 'kill Lily'?..._

_reiko105: My third reviewer… sneezes-woah, this is getting less flattering as we go along… Anyway, thanks for the reviews; you get chocolate… lots and lots of good chocolate!_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… coughs-again…not flattering… So, thanks for the reviews! You get… hmmm… running out of treats, and I don't think you want dog-biscuits… ICE-CREAM! Yes, lots of ice-cream!_

_aduck8myshoes: My fifth reviewer… bites own toe-note to self… 'do NOT bite own toe! Thanks for the review, but don't we like Sirius ALL the time? Like in boxers? Or in the shower… snaps out of dirty Sirius fantasy You get MILK DUDS! Whoot for the Milk Duds!_

_chacha-sista: My latest reviewer… reminds self not to bite own toe, so bites someone else's toe Thanks for the reviews! Like the name (are you a dancer too?). You can have cake! Chocolate cake!_

_KK, BYES-SEYS_

_-Kat_


	11. The 'Perfect' Prefect's Ball

_Author's Note: Hiya dudes! Nuts, I have to post this now... You people rock! It makes me so happy to know that people like my story (though it does make me wonder about how much free time you guys have… jk). Anyway, to address, Snape, the potions teacher, in the last chapter, was Severus' Uncle; not Severus. One of my friends pointed that out to me when they read that chapter… Just had to clear that up. So, enjoy this chapter; it's slightly longer than the last, but not as long as some to come…_

_-Kat _

Chapter eleven – The 'Perfect' Prefects' ball

James was the first to wake (something about bad dreams – conscience – wonder why?...). He looked at his watch in the streaks of light now shining through the window: 4:00am. Then James looked down. Lily was asleep, leaning against his chest and, Oh God, he could see right down her bra. 'No, that's wrong,' he looked away. He didn't want to wake her by moving, so he just closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

Lily was the next one to wake, at 5:00am. She looked up and saw James. He was cute went he slept. Even if he was the world's biggest prat. Lily almost shook her head, but didn't because that would wake him. She just shifted over a tiny bit, so it didn't look so weird. Then she slept.

Surprisingly, Christine was the first one awake after six. She was about to poke Enid, when she caught sight of Lily and James. 'AAwww… They must have moved in their sleep. How cute.'

"Enid." Christine whispered, covering her friend's mouth, so that she wouldn't speak and wake them up.

Enid's eyes opened and she grinned when she saw the two on the couch. Slowly, everyone was woken up, except Sirius, Lydia, Lily, and James. Sirius was jolted awake by Enid poking him. He opened his eyes and thought, 'Nice', because he could see down Lydia's bra, too. Then he poked her, and she woke.

Everyone watched James and Lily. Enid snuck up to the dorm silently, to get her magical camera. After a few photos were taken, Lily opened an eye, saw everyone watching her, and sat bolt up-right. She shook her head and scooted to the other end of the sofa making very rude signs with her fingers.

Everyone burst into laughter, before Sirius remembered the presents, peered around, spotted a huge pile, and yelled, "PRESENTS!" James woke up, because Sirius had yelled it in his ear.

"AAhhh! Oh, sorry."

"Sirius rubbed his own ear, where James had shouted as revenge.

Everyone scrambled to the presents, opening ones from family members first, then friends.

"OMIGOD!" Christine shrieked at the guys, "You got me a new camera! I LOVE YOU!" She grabbed her new toy and started snapping random pictures of everyone opening their presents.

"My present just hooted!" Sirius eyed one of his parcels suspiciously.

Lydia poked him and informed him that it was supposed to, because it was an owl. He kissed her (he had always wanted an owl). Then she gave him a shark tooth necklace which she had gotten in Hawaii that summer.

Lydia opened her present from Sirius, which was a gorgeous pair of gold dangly earrings, and a white/gold ring. She squealed and put them on right away.

"Stilettos? Lydia! I love you!" Lily exclaimed as she admired her new shoes from a designer witch wear store in Prague, Rome.

Lydia shrugged and hugged her.

The Marauders opened their chocolate, dungbombs, and posters from one another and high-fived (they always got the same things for each other). James opened his presents from Lily and hugged her. He put the ring on right away.

"Lily! I love the make up!" Lydia thanked her.

"Thanks for the book, Lilita! I haven't read this one yet!" Christine read the back of the romance novel.

"Cute photo frames, thanks Christine!"

"Yeah Lily, maybe you can put these photos in them." Enid held up the photos of Lily and James, asleep.

Lily's face darkened and flushed. She pulled out her wand, "Gimme the photos, and nobody gets hurt!"

The next ten minutes were spent with Lily and James chasing the photos from person to person. They finally caught up with them and ripped them up (Enid saved a few – sshhh…). Then everyone went back to opening presents.

"Oh my gosh, James! It's beautiful, thanks." Lily held up the 'lily' necklace, then remembered what he had said last night, and put it in her pile.

"Hey, Lily. You've got an owl. And a howler." Peter pointed to the window, where a small white owl was waiting with a red envelope.

"OOOOoooo… Lily's in trouble…" everyone chanted. Lily told them to shut up, and went to the window to let the owl in. It whizzed right over her head and flew around the room, not letting her take the envelope from it's leg. Lily got tired of chasing it, and started to mutter about the 'damn, bloody owls these days'. Then, as the envelope started to smolder, the owl dropped it on her head, and let it explode.

"You said you wanted to hear me play some time, so I wrote this for you," the voice in the howler said. Lily froze, pink splotches appearing on her cheeks. James' features darkened as he heard the French accent.

"I'll be right back," Lily stuttered, grabbing the envelope and taking it up to her dorm, where her friends could still hear Eric's deep, sexy voice erupting from the red letter.

"You flood my heart with warmth and affection," it sang, perfectly in tune with his guitar, "You make me laugh and sing inside…"

"Oh. My. F... Damn. God." James took a deep breath.

Enid laughed at him, "If he were a waiter, I'd say, 'you got served'. Right! Forgot. You guys need to figure out what movies are, and WATCH SOME!"

Lydia spoke up, "It does serve you right James, but it's only a letter."

Just then, Eric's song ended with:

"My Lily, love is a story. It's up to you to write the ending. Forever yours!" Then it said, "I'd love for you to be my date at the ball tonight. Merry Christmas Lily."

"No way!" Enid, Christine and Lydia all got up and jumped up and down before they remembered who they were supposed to be rooting for.

"Well… If she said yes, I so wouldn't blame her, I mean, seriously. Love song and ask out or insults, personal attacks, and no asking out?"

"James, put Remus' book down, and stop hitting yourself with it." Sirius instructed his friend (he felt to sorry for him to be mad any more).

"I mean, it's not like she'll say yes anyway. She's way too hung up on James… HOLY CRAP!" Lydia slapped her hand across her mouth, but it was too late.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"OMIGOD! After what he said last night, what if she's crazy enough to…"

The girls were already sprinting up the stairs, and found Lily sitting on her bed, smiling, no sign of the owl.

"Say yes…?" Enid finished, "Lily, you didn't; tell me you didn't?"

"Didn't what? Agree to go out with a guy who actually likes me? Who hasn't insulted or hurt me? Who wrote me a love song?"

"She did! Lily, have you gone completely nuts? James is crazy about you, okay! He wasn't thinking straight last night. He's down there now, hitting himself on the head with Remus' 933 page text book; and you do know how much that thing ways, right!" Enid shook Lily by the shoulders.

"Enid, stop shaking her. Lil, tell us this is just one of your stupid jokes. You like JAMES, not Eric! You chose James over Eric a long time ago!" Lydia stared at Lily, waiting for an answer.

"Lighten up you two. It's her choice, so leave her alone!" Christine pulled them both away from Lily, and shoved them to the stairs, "MOVE!"

"What was that, Christine?" Enid pointed up the stairs.

"It was called, 'getting you two to leave her alone, and let her make her own decisions'!"

"Hello! What happened?" Sirius roared.

"Lily made her choice, that's all," Christine answered before either of the other girls could.

"Yeah, THE WRONG ONE!" Enid thundered.

——————

"I have to dance with her! She's gonna go off with that prick, and I have to dance with her!"

"Jesus, James. You just put your robes on backwards. Just tell her how you really feel when you're on the stairs, or dancing. And concentrate on NOT looking like a freak!"

Sirius made James turn his robes the right way. They had been getting ready for the ball since ten minutes ago, and were expected in the hall in half an hour.

—————

In the girls' dorm, things were chaotic. Random sixth and seventh years ran in and out of the big bathroom, skittling other peoples' make up trays, or bumping into hot curling irons.

"Lily, you need to curl your hair."

"Enid, pass me the mid-night blue for your eyes."

"Susie, does this dress make me look fat?"

"Shouldn't you have been asking that BEFORE you bought it, Anna?"

"You're saying it does? Wwaaahh! I'm ruined!"

"Shoot! Who left a bloody sodding curling iron on?"

"Me, sorry!"

"Natalie! I have a scorch mark on my dress! Let me switch with you."

"Stacie! I'm not giving you my dress. Just magic it away."

"It's Italian silk – that won't work! Give me your dress!"

"Dammit Christine, stop moving!"

"Lydia, where's my hairbrush?"

Stacie continued to chase Natalie around randomly in the background, wanting her dress.

———————

"Okay, and you're going to tell her?" Sirius reminded a nervous James at the top of the stairs. James nodded and Sirius wished him luck, and left, to wait for Lydia in the Entrance Hall.

Remus popped up beside James, a few minutes later, equally nervous.

"Have you seen Marrella?"

"Yeah," James replied distractedly (the Beauxbatons students had just arrived), "She looks good."

"What? Why does she have to look good?" Remus panicked.

"Mooney, just shut up."

——————

"You look totally amazing, Lily. Strapless really works for you." Lydia complemented her friend. Lily rolled her eyes, "I don't know if that's a good thing."

"It is."

"Hey, you two look fab!" Enid, followed by a grumpy Christine, gushed, "So does Christine, doesn't she?"

"I look like a banana, Enid, but, other than that, I'm in a dress!"

"You aren't exactly an ugly stepsister, yourself, Enid." Lily smiled.

"Thanks."

"I should go," Lily said, "They start in five minutes. Bye."

Lydia, Enid, and Christine waved at Lily, and then followed the main crowd down to the Entrance Hall.

"You look hot!" Sirius grinned at and kissed Lydia, who replied 'thanks, I think'.

"Hi Christine," Peter grinned nervously.

"Touch me and die!"

"Hey Enid, you look nice; what happened?" Sirius said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Wish I could say the same for you," she teased as she looked him up and down.

"Shhh… They're starting!"

————

There were two little curtains on either side of the stairs. One for the girls, the other for the boys. Each person was supposed to walk out from behind their curtain, and meet their partner in the middle, then walk down the stairs.

Julia and Randolph had just been announced, and were walking down the stairs arm-in-arm. Marrella was being filled in by Lily, on all of the last night's events.

"Oh, Lily, you need to line up; you're in two," Professor McGonagoll ushered Lily in the direction of the curtain, where two older girls were waiting.

"Bye," Lily whispered to Marrella as one of the girls in front of her disappeared, through the curtains.

"Lorelei Jones, Hufflepuff Prefect, and Greg Turner, Ravenclaw Prefect," the next girl left. Lily was next. She could feel goosebumps pooping up all over her arms.

"James Potter, Griffindor House Quidditch Captain, and Lily Evans, Griffindor Prefect."

Professor McGonagoll shoved Lily through the curtain. Lily stumbled slightly, but caught herself when she saw James.

'Hel-lo!' Lily thought, 'Dammit Lily! ERIC, not James, ERIC!'

James' thoughts, were however, not about Eric, 'Damn, she is fit! I suck! What was wrong with me; I must have had a mental lapse last night! Did I mention that I suck?'

"You look like you're gonna puke," James whispered, through his gorgeous (snap out of it Lily!) smile.

"Thanks," Lily whispered back, through her own smile.

James offered her his arm and she took it, her heart pounding in her throat.

'Stilettos! Why the hell did I have to wear my new stilettos?' Lily was thinking angrily as she tried her hardest not to trip.

"Are you okay?" James mumbled, while still smiling over the banister.

"Yes." Lily hissed back, catching sight of Christine. 'She does look slightly like a banana from this far away,' Lily smiled to herself.

Lily took the opportunity to look around the Entrance Hall. It had been decorated with house banners, but it was nothing to what the Great Hall would look like. The gold-ish marble staircase seemed to shine, with a heavenly glow.

"You thinking 'gay baby' too?" James asked, grinning.

"No!" Lily answered hastily, even though that was exactly what she had been thinking.

"Oh, sure…" James was provoking her.

"No, I wasn't," Lily said as she turned away from him, flipping her hair with her free hand.

'Aww, why the hair, huh? Don't kiss her again James. Don't! You haven't even told her, or apologized to her yet!' James was kicking himself mentally.

'Look for ERIC! Don't look at James, look for ERIC!'

"Is it just me, or do they both look worried?" Lydia asked Sirius quietly.

"Yeah. And is it just _me_, or are they both trying not to look at each other?" Sirius stifled a grin.

"Oh well. We all know they belong together, even if they don't. But we have to let them try dating other people (like Eric), so that they can fail for themselves." Christine jumped in, eager to think about something other than how yellow her dress was, or the fact that she was actually wearing a DRESS, and not pants.

"Hey, can you look at me?" James was still talking through his grin as they reached the floor.

"Why?" Lily was still determinedly looking for Eric in the crowd, and not at James.

"So I can apologize," Lily turned to face him, and James took a deep breath, "I shouldn't have said those things last night. It was cruel, and I know it. I just wasn't thinking straight. The truth is, you confuse me, and that freaks me out. I've made my decision though, and you're part of it."

"James, look. Thank you for apologizing, but I'm not interested. You're just too late, and I would thank you to remember that I have a date for the evening, and there's nothing you can do to change the way you made me feel about you."

James nodded and looked away, vowing silently to himself that he would find a way to change her mind or die trying (drama queen).

Sirius, Enid, Christine, Lydia, and Peter had made their way over to Lily and James. Sirius tilted his head quizzically at James, but James just looked down at the floor, which Sirius understood to be bad.

Enid, who had seen this weird exchange of looks, whispered in Lily's ear. Lily bit her lip and nodded at her friend, feeling very guilty for reasons she could not explain. Enid nodded understandingly, and tore Christine and Lydia away to explain what she guessed had happened.

Sirius didn't bother to explain to Peter, he just patted James discretely on the back.

"Thank you, guests, staff, and students! Now we shall proceed to the Great Hall for the feast, if our Head boy and Girl are willing." Dumbledore's voice boomed out over the crowd of people. He nodded at Julia and Randolph, so they took each other's arms and led the Prefects and Quidditch Captains to the Hall, the rest of the crowd following.

James offered his arm to Lily, still not looking straight at her, and she took it, somewhat reluctantly.

"James?" Lily tried to get James to look her in the eye, but all he would do was look slightly to the left of her face while pretending to look into her eyes. "James, can't we be friends? I'd really like your friendship, but I did agree to come with Eric tonight."

James considered for a moment and then decided that friendship would be better than 'all-out war' and said quietly, "Okay, Evans, you're on, on one condition…"

Lily raised an eyebrow slightly but said, "Which is…?"

"Admit you think I'm hot."

"James!"

"Yes?" James blinked innocently.

"As _friends, _I don't think that's a very appropriate request."

"We-ll, technically, we're not friends yet, because this is a _condition_ of the friendship. So we'll only be friends _after_ you say it."

Lily looked up at the ceiling and muttered 'kill me now', before turning back to James. They had just reached the staff table, which was reserved for the Prefects too, and all of the guys, pulled out their partner's chair for them.

Lily sat down, "Thank you."

"Hey, condition?"

"James I am not going to say that. That would suggest that I have feelings for you."

"Well… Don't you?" James tilted his head and grinned expectantly.

"James," Lily groaned, "We already went through this. Why can't we just be friends."

"For now?"

"Yes for now," Lily said exasperatedly.

"So there is possibility." James grinned wider.

"NO! That's not what I meant, James, and you know it."

"Might not be what you meant, but it's what you said, which, because the heart and the mouth are more connected than the brain and the mouth, it's what your heart wanted to say, which is really, the important thing. And, anyway, we can't be friends yet because you haven't accepted my condition."

"And I am not _going_ to accept it."

"Then I guess we can just go back to hating each other…" James shrugged as Professor Dumbledore sat down a few seats to his left.

"Ja-ames!" Lily whined, but James was being stubborn so she said, "Fine! You look…"

"Hey, you have to say _you think _I look hot!"

Lily glared daggers at him but said, "I think you look… hot. Okay – now we're friends?"

"Yeah!" James grinned stupidly, so Lily kicked his shin, "OUCH! I think you look great too Lily-Billy!"

Lily blushed and kicked him again.

"Shoot! I just told you that you look good."

"That _and_ you called me Lily-Billy!"

"Sorry Silly-Lily-Billy." James sang softly, just to annoy her. To tell the truth, he was still upset by the whole 'I'm not interested' thing, but was cheered greatly by the fact that he had gotten Lily to play along with his little game. James also had a suspicion that Lily was just dissing him because she didn't want to ditch Eric (that was not the way Lily worked).

As everyone placed their orders with their plates, which the house elves always let them do on special occasions, Lydia, Enid, Sirius, Christine, and Peter caught Lily and James' eyes and waved frantically (but not frantically enough to be glared at by Professor McGonagall, who had changed her black every-day robes for a 'cherry red' coloured set, which matched her auburn hair nicely). A few of the Durmstrang and Beauxbaton students gave them funny looks though.

Lily sank down in her chair when she saw her friends waving at her and James. James, however, waved back and winked at Sirius and Peter. Remus, who was chatting animatedly to Marrella (on his left), didn't see them, and therefore, wasn't embarrassed in the least.

"James, put your arm down. Geez!" Lily stopped him from getting up to continue waving.

"Just wave at them, Silly, you know you want to!" James tried to grab her arm and make her wave at their friends but she threatened him by saying that she had her wand and could hex him if the opportunity presented itself. He dropped her arm and replied, "Lemme guess, it's hidden up your garter?" James grinned roguishly.

"If it was, I wouldn't be likely to tell you, would I?" Lily smirked, "And stop waving!"

Then Lily remembered something suddenly. She leaned over James and tapped Remus hard on the shoulder, "Remus! One sec, Marrella," Lily winked at her friend and whispered to Remus, "I almost forgot, you have to kiss her."

Remus frowned at Lily, "Damn; I was hoping you'd forgotten."

Marrella had gotten into a conversation with Professor Salandro (the hot Astronomy professor), who sat on _her_ left, so James, who had been eavesdropping on Remus and Lily shamelessly, made as if to tap her, when Lily grabbed his hand. He joked, "Now, now, I think that's quite inappropriate for _friends_…"

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Not when she's eating, give the girl a chance…" James laughed.

When everyone had finished eating, Dumbledore stood up and proclaimed it 'time to dance'. He beckoned the Head Boy and Girl onto the dance floor, where they shared a spotlight dance. Once the musician on the bandstand (Dumbledore had 'drawn' a bandstand with his wand, so that the live musicians could perform) had almost finished his song, Lily took out her wand (she had been suspiciously surprised by the accuracy of James' joke… Or was it a joke…?), and muttered _'Mintus Magnum'_, which was a spell that Duke Martin and Honey West (of Honeydukes…), had taught her on a Hogsmeade visit. Once you had bought some of their 'three hour-long mints' (breath mints that made your breath smell good for up to three hours), all you needed to do was say the words in the same building as your mints, and they would come to you.

Lily had persuaded Lydia to carry them in the mini bag that Lydia had been planning to bring anyway. They flew, very discretely, as they were so small, right to Lily, at the top table. Lily caught the bag under the table, and opened it, trying to make as little noise as possible. She shoved two mints into her mouth and tried to swallow them quickly (Lily had always hated mint).

Just for fun (and because she knew he would demand one once he saw them anyway), Lily handed one to James. Then, she passed one to Remus, trying hard not to giggle (that was hard, considering the look on Remus face).

The song ended, and everyone in the hall clapped. Then, Dumbledore stood once more, motioning for the Prefects to do the same, and insisted that it was the Prefects' turns. James grinned to himself as he reached for Lily's hand. He could see Sirius winking like crazy and, of course, Peter copying him.

Remus, on the other hand, was petrified. He was supposed to just randomly kiss her? The word floating most frequently across his mind was either 'Dammit!', or, 'AAAHHH!', if you can call that a word.

"Marrella!" Lily beckoned her friend over, well aware of the frantic looks Remus was giving her over Marrella's shoulder, telling her not to tell her about the dare. Lily just grinned and offered her friend (who was as deeply infatuated by mints as Lily and butterbeer) a mint.

"Now that you've stopped playing matchmaker, shall we?" James motioned towards the dance floor, where most of the Prefects already stood, waiting for the music to begin and their friends to join them. Lily shrugged, making a mental note that she had to show James movies sometime, and one of them had to be 'Shall We Dance'.

_(A/N: Hey. Just ignore the fact that I keep mentioning things from nowadays, in a story that, I guess, is supposed to be set a while back cough Brad Pitt cough…). _

Remus and Marrella followed James and Lily onto the dance floor, and, not long after that, Professor Dumbledore announced that the next song would be performed by Rod Stewart, and it was to be 'The Way You Look Tonight'. Lily and Marrella caught each other's eyes and squealed when Rod Stewart walked onto the stage. The guys just rolled their eyes.

James relaxed as he slipped his left hand around Lily's slender waist and the piano hit the first chords of the song.

Lily, who felt oddly safe in James' warm arms, couldn't help grinning and mouthing the words to the song she knew so well. She knew that it had been the first song her mother and father had danced to as husband and wife. She couldn't help wishing that it would be the same way for her and, 'Wait!' Lily's mind exclaimed, 'Why am I thinking about marriage when I'm with James? That's just creepy, especially since I'm here with Eric.' 'AAhhh…' the nasty voice in the back of her head said, 'But who would you rather be here with?'

James took Lily's hand again, and counted himself into the music. Lily seemed slightly distracted, but at that moment, it didn't seem important. It didn't matter that she was here with Eric. It didn't matter that she had turned him down twice. This was how it was meant to be; just Lily and James, James and Lily. Either way, James knew that this was what he lived for. Then, he asked himself, '_What_? _What_ is it that I'm living for?' Then, the answer came to him; 'Lily.'

Lily was lost. Just like she had been after her and James' first kiss. She didn't know what she wanted anymore. All she could think about was being here, dancing with James, but she didn't know why. She slipped her arm slightly tighter around James' neck. He felt the adjustment, and pulled Lily's body closer to him.

Eric, who was sitting with some of his friends from Beauxbaton, watching his date for the evening dancing with this other guy, just leaned back in his chair. It didn't bother him. She would be in his arms in a few minutes anyway, so, if that guy had any plans for her, he could eat his heart out. Eric had his own plans. And, little did Lily know it, they weren't good plans for her. For Eric, in fact, was not a nice person, despite what she thought.

Lily, despite all of her mind's protests, found herself leaning her head on James strong, muscular shoulder. He just wrapped his arms tighter around her, enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms. Then, without warning, the music ended and Lily pulled away from James, leaving them both feeling sort of empty.

The hall burst into applause again (Sirius and Peter strongly considered catcalls, but Dumbledore had happened to be looking right at them). James didn't let go of Lily's hand when the song finished, but led her over to their friends.

"Hey," Lydia said, one eyebrow raised at Lily.

"Hey yourself," Lily raised an eyebrow right back at Lydia, having seen where Sirius' hand was on her friend's leg. Lydia shrugged slightly and giggled, making Lily laugh too.

By now, another, faster, song by Rod Stewart had started up, so there was a lot of chatter and dancing and moving about the hall. Lily was just about to break apart from the group and look for Eric, when he found her.

"Wha…!" Lily squeaked as Eric came up behind her.

"Hey!" Eric turned Lily around in his arms and kissed her lightly.

"Hey yourself," Lily hugged him, "I was just about to come find you."

"Yeah, well, I'm psychic. Anyway, I want you to come meet my friends from school." Eric took Lily's hand and waved at her friends. Lily followed him, also waving goodbye to her friends.

Christine, who had been watching James' face steadily darkening all the time Eric had stood with them, burst into laughter as soon as Lily was out of earshot.

Everyone looked at her, perplexed as to why she found the situation so amusing.

"Sorry, but, James' face…" Christine started, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Then she realized that they still didn't find this funny, and went back to apologizing.

"Guys, this is Lily. Lily, this is everyone." Eric gestured at a small group of Beauxbaton students gathered around a table and they started to introduce themselves.

"Bonjour! I'm Catherine. I 'ave 'eard so much about you from Eric…" a blonde, friendly-looking girl said. She and her friends definitely weren't as adapted to the English language as Eric, but Lily thought it nice that they were trying.

"Oui! Zat he has. I'm Jacques, zis is Marie, Clara, Matthiew, Pierre, et Danielle."

"Hi." Lily smiled and gripped Eric's hand even tighter. She had never been comfortable around strangers.

"It's okay Lily, they don't bite," Eric grinned and kissed the top of her head, "Come, sit."

"So, who was that 'hottie' you were dancing with?" Catherine asked curiously, "And, is 'e single?"

"His name's James, and I think he's single, but he's confusing, so I'm never actually sure," Lily replied awkwardly. She was gazing longingly at the dance floor; a move that Eric caught.

"Let's dance," he said, pulling Lily up and heading for the dance floor.

"Aahh, oui, attends, Eric!" the girl named Marie called after them to wait for a moment. She pulled one of the guys (Lily thought it was Pierre, but she never did figure it out), out of his seat and ran after Eric and Lily saying, "I love to dance too. So much fun; movement, musique, rhythm…"

It was a sort of salsa song playing, and Eric, Lily was pleased to find out, had rhythm and he could salsa. Salsa happened to be one of Lily's favourite kinds of dance.

James folded his arms and glowered as he watched Eric twirl Lily all around the dance floor. She could salsa – even in a long dress! And ('dammit!') so could he (he being Eric; not James, who definitely COULDN'T salsa).

This was how James spent the next half hour of the ball; watching Lily. He watched her dance, he watched her laugh, he watched her and Marrella watching the performers (Usher…), and, more importantly, he watched her get kissed. Yes, _get_ kissed; not kiss. James was fairly certain that her heart wasn't in any of the kisses that she and Eric shared. 'Yes!' was all he could think after that (that and 'I hate him for kissing her', or 'Keep kissing her and I'll kill you, you bloody jerk!', but oh well…).

Lily came over to the table, after she had danced for half an hour straight, to be greeted by a slouching James, a nervous Peter (maybe he was nervous because he had asked Christine to dance and she had threatened to curse him if he came closer than two feet to her), and a still-grumpy Christine (who was armed with her wand and her camera).

"Where's Eric?" James asked sarcastically.

"He's just gone to get us some… And you were being sarcastic!" Lily rolled her eyes and took Lydia's vacated seat, "Hey, where'r Lydia and Sirius? I didn't see them on the dance floor…"

"Where do you think?" James indicated the doors which lead to the rose-covered garden.

"AAhhh… Course. Shoulda' known," Lily rolled her eyes again and looked back at the dance floor. "I haven't seen you out there. Why not?"

"Remember; I'm the one who can't dance." James had perked up a bit since Lily had rejoined them. Christine had noticed this, and was attempting to suffocate herself so as not to burst into laughter again.

Lily gave her friend a curious look and turned back to James, "And Enid?"

James rolled his eyes and said, "She said she found a 'cute guy from Durmstrang, who's as good a kisser as he is a dancer (which is apparently really good)', and that told me all and more than I've ever wished to know about other guys."

"Well… That does sound like Enid. What about Remus and Marrella? Did he kiss her yet?"

Peter smirked and pointed to the crowded dance floor, "No, he's still too nervous. But they're out there."

"AAhhh… I think I'll go and find them. You know, do a little reminding…"

James watched Lily retreat into the crowd and went back to his arms-crossed position. Christine stopped trying not to breath and erupted into laughter, which made James glare even more, and Peter edge away from her, like she was crazy.

"Have you seen Lily?" a voice asked Christine from above her. She looked up to see Eric, standing tall and holding two butterbeers. Christine glanced at James, who's face had darkened considerably more, if possible, and then glanced back at Eric, erupting in a fresh wave of laughter.

Eric turned to James, "O-kay… Anyway, have either of you seen Lily?"

James grumbled something incomprehensible, and Peter followed suit.

Eric raised an eyebrow, "O-kay… I'll just wait here for her then."

James looked like he was working very hard not to punch him. He was about to get up when, thankfully, Lily returned leading Marrella and Remus to the table. "Hey!" Lily smiled at Eric, and looked questioningly at Christine (who was crying with mirth again), James (who was so low in his chair that he looked like he might disappear), and Peter (who was trying, and failing, to copy James, so that he fell off his chair).

"Hey, follow me, okay?" Eric handed Lily her butterbeer, but she protested with, "Just wait a sec, okay? I'll explain later," because she wanted to see Remus kiss Marrella.

Remus took a deep breath, tapped Marrella (who had been giggling with Christine after Christine had explained the reasoning behind the laugh attacks), who turned around and faced him, about to say, "Yep?" But, before she could, Remus had leaned in and kissed her. She seemed surprised at first, but after a few seconds, kissed him back.

James grinned for the first time since he had sat down, Christine snapped away with her camera, before she ducked underneath the table to laugh, Peter yelled, 'go Remus!', and Lily bit her lip (still smiling) to prevent herself from 'aww-ing'. Eric grinned at Lily and assumed that she had had something to do with it.

Marrella pulled out of the kiss, and Remus looked quite disappointed for a second. That was before she took his hand and pulled him towards the gardens saying, "Come on." He grinned at James, Peter, and Lily (Christine was still under the table trying to catch her breath), and followed Marrella. James winked back at his friend and exchanged high fives with Lily.

"Lily, let's go," Eric grabbed her hand again, "And you should drink your butterbeer."

"But…" Lily started. It was nearing the end of the ball, and she had been hoping to spend the last part with her friends (and James, of course, but she wasn't gonna admit that).

"Come on," Eric started to pull her away from the table, "Butterbeer…" Lily waved good bye to her friends reluctantly and consented to go with Eric. She thought that he was going to take her into the garden to make out, but he didn't lead her anywhere near there.

——————

"Christine, where has that guy taken her?" The ball was going to end in ten minutes, and James had started to worry, "I don't trust him."

"She's a big girl James; she can take care of herself."

"But what if he's a Death Eater? The attacks have doubled since the beginning of term and…"

"Do you _really_ think he's a Death Eater?" Christine gave James a skeptical look, "James, she's fifteen, and so are you. You haven't danced at all, except for that waltz. You should be having fun, and NOT worrying about where your fifteen year old crush is with a cute French guy. O-kay, that didn't sound so good, but Lily's smart, you know that, and I know that, heck, everyone who meets Lily knows that, and yet you're still worried. About what? What do you really think might happen. And, if you're thinking about… y'know…, then you shouldn't be because, I'll point out again, it's LILY!"

"I guess…" James took a swig of butterbeer, "But he is stronger and older than her. And she looked like she didn't want to leave, so…"

"I could tell you the reasoning for that, but I'm not going to, because it will over-inflate your already big-head!"

James stuck his tongue out at Christine and started to ask about what it was like to have five brothers in a magical family. Peter just listened for a while, occasionally throwing jealous glances at the kissing couples around the room.

_Author's Note: I quite like this chapter (SALSA, SALSA, SALSA!)! Okay, my French accents suck, so don't be offended if you like or are French. I'm still really psyched about all of my reviews, and will post the next chapter (_The Aftermath_ – catchy, huh?) when I reach 75 (we can do it, can't we! readers yell yes, and throw candy encouragingly at author). Could all of my lovely reviewers please add in their reviews who their favourite characters are? Here come the thank yous (so sorry if I forgot anyone, but it's because I'm tired):_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… Hiya, much love and thanks for the reviews! Having fun at swimming? gives you a sweet puppy _

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… Kisses (friendly…)! Thanks for the reviews and random comments about chain saws. goes into witness protection program gives you a cute cow-wonder why…_

_reiko105: My third reviewer… Hugs! Thanks for your reviews. I'm glad you like the story. gives you an adorable pig-that's a complement because I like pigs…_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… Hershey kisses! Please keep reviewing! Yay! gives you a lovable kitten_

_aduck8myshoes: My fifth reviewer… Hershey hugs (do they exist?...)! Please keep reading and reviewing! gives you a fluffy bunny _

_chacha-sista: My sixth reviewer… Hershey hugs and kisses! More reading and reviewing, if you please! gives you a fuzzy groundhog-they are so cute!_

_doomonastick: My seventh reviewer… Okay, I can't think of any original things, so the rest of my reviewers get smiley faces and cheesy greeting cards! No, I don't talk to myself all the time… scratches head and thinks about it (I don't, do I?)… gives you a penguin on a pogo stick-because of your screen name… _

_rustedfantasy: My eighth reviewer… Hiya! Remember above for what you get (smiley faces and cheesy greeting cards, in case you are suffering from short-term memory loss…)! James is only being an arse because he thinks Lily has someone else… Wait, was I supposed to tell you that? reads ahead in story to make sure that is mentioned Anyway, don't be 'dying'; that would be sad (also, if anyone saw your review, I would probably get fined for your death… jk)! gives you a baby chick and duck-see FRIENDS, and hope that they're_ not_ stuck in a foosball table…_

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer…Yo, yo, yo (sorry, was that weird?)! Smiley faces and greeting card! Please keep reviewing and I'm glad you are enjoying my story! gives you a Shetland pony-awwww…_

_akawebstergirl: My tenth reviewer… Smiley faces and greeting card! Now, is it a bad thing that I ask people to review? begs for reviews-just for you… Anyway (I've been saying that too much…), I'm glad you liked the chapter (ten), and, I don't care if your mind wonders to James in his boxers… joins you in dirty James fantasy So, please keep reading and enjoying! gives you a stag-think 'JAMES'!_

_lovespell0591: My eleventh reviewer… Hey! Smiley faces and greeting card! I like how you used a quote in your review; that's cool! Is it different than the other ones that you have read in a good way, or a bad way? crosses fingers and prays for 'good way' If people keep liking it, I'll keep writing it! gives you a pretty goldfish and makes fishy face_

_Jade Roez: My twelfth reviewer… Smiley faces and greeting card! Why haven't you read fanfic for so long? I'm totally addicted! I'm touched that you read mine first! Glad you like it! gives you an exotic parrot and teaches it to say 'Kat's story rox-hopefully'_

_HP.ASOUA.EF.EE.DW. All roc: My latest reviewer… Smiley faces and greeting card! What does your screen name stand for anyway? Glad you like my story! gives you a cuddly hamster_

_So! Thanks for reviewing you guys! Don't forget to tell me who your fave characters are. Also, tell me what you think about me posting at least three more stories after this one (as sequels) about sixth-year, then seventh-year, and then Lily and James and the others after school (that one would obviously be really long). I kind of like the idea of writing them as separate stories, as opposed to in one (because then I would have to change this one's title…)!_

_-Kat_


	12. The Aftermath

_Author's Note: Hiya! You haven't quite got to 75 reviews, but I have nothing better to do and we're really close…Are you happy now, my wonderful reviewers? I've updated! Now, you can give me even more reviews… laughs evilly and pours over plan to take over world with reviews Well, enjoy the chapter, and brace yourselves for the freakishly long thank you notes at the bottom! Remember, the longer the review, the longer the note…Enjoy!_

_-Kat_

Chapter twelve –The Aftermath

James ran his fingers through his messy hair (for once he wasn't trying to purposely mess it up). He stared into the fire for a while and then at his watch. It read 12:30, and the ball had ended at midnight. Lily had not yet returned to Griffindor Tower, and James was waiting for her in the Common Room.

All he could think was that he didn't trust that guy, and that he hated not knowing where Lily was.

He looked around the Gold and Scarlet room to see armchairs and sofas, and tables, with peoples' text books strewn across them. He was about to close his eyes (which had been aching to close for the last twenty minutes), when he heard a small noise outside the portrait hole. He got out of his chair, and went to investigate.

A few more seconds, and Lily stumbled, crying, through the portrait hole. Her hair was messy, her dress was lopsided, and she was a pale shade of white (not that white can be pale, really, but oh well).

"Lily!" James was taken aback by her appearance, and he ran to her. The first thought that sprung to mind was, "Did you...?"

Lily, who had looked startled that someone was in the Common Room, just shook her head and collapsed. James didn't think twice about what he had to do. He scooped her up in his arms and gently placed her in an armchair. He felt for a pulse and found a faint one, and snuck up the stairs to his dorm as quietly as he could.

'Where did I put them?' James thought desperately, 'I used them on Wednesday with Remus, Sirius, and Peter.'

He was rummaging through his trunk now, searching for his invisibility cloak and the Marauder's Map. He felt around the bottom of his trunk, and pulled out the Marauder's Map. No, it was just a spare bit of parchment. It was his week to hold it, wasn't it? Yes. 'Ahh, there you are,' James thought as he pulled out his cloak, which was rolled around the Map. He raced back down to the Common Room, where he had left Lily, and tapped the Map with his wand.

Black lines and dots appeared all over the parchment, telling him that Filch was safely in his office, and that there was no sign of Eric, who had obviously done something to Lily, in the castle.

"Come on," James whispered as he swept Lily into his arms again, and arranged the invisibility cloak so that it covered them both. He then opened the portrait hole and, wand out, carried Lily all the way up to the Hospital Wing.

He removed the cloak at the door, pocketed it, and lay Lily gently down on one of the hospital beds. He ran down the ward to Madam Pomfrey's office and knocked on the door loudly. He then returned to Lily's bedside, and was joined moments later by Madam Pomfrey, who looked nervous in her purple dressing gown and fuzzy slippers.

"What happened?" Madam Pomfrey asked James as she felt around Lily's wrist for a pulse.

"I don't know… She just came through the portrait hole and collapsed…" 'Wait,' James thought, remembering how insistent Eric had been about Lily drinking the butterbeer at the ball, 'The butterbeer!'

"Could someone have drugged her butterbeer at the ball?" James slapped himself on the forehead for not thinking of it sooner.

"Yes, that's very possible young man. She needs a special potion from Professor Snape's store. Wait here with her until I return."

"Okay." James readily agreed, and took a seat beside the bed as Madam Pomfrey hurried away to the dungeons.

"The stupid prick. I knew he was no good." James was muttering to himself, his head in his hands. It then occurred to him to write the others a note telling them what had happened. He whipped out the Marauder's Map and used his wand to write a short, explanatory note on the back.

Sunday, 26th, 12:44am

Guys,

Lily collapsed when she got back to the Tower. I think 'Eric' drugged her butterbeer. She's in the Hospital Wing now, and Madam Pomfrey is getting a potion for her. I think she's okay.

-James

James wiped the front of the Map and tapped it with his wand. It, like Enid's, folded itself into an aeroplane, and was about to fly away when James, with Seeker reflexes, caught it and held it back.

He tapped it again with his wand, and it doubled (not the Map part, just the note; he sent the Map copy to the guys' dorm). There were now two aeroplanes in front of him. He addressed one to the Marauders, and one to the Girls, then flung his invisibility cloak over the papers, so that Filch wouldn't see them whizzing through the school.

—————

Enid blinked through her curtains to the clock beside her bed. It was only just 2:00am. She was about to roll over and go back to sleep (the sun had not yet risen fully), when she saw Lily's bed. It was right beside hers, and it was empty. Enid was about to panic (Lily was the last person on Earth to be willingly out of her bed at two in the morning), but then she saw the aeroplane.

"C'mere!" she ordered the parchment quietly. The plane flew towards her and she saw the invisibility cloak crumpled on the floor.

Enid skimmed the paper and recognized James' handwriting before she saw his signature. "Oh my god," she breathed, clapping a hand to her mouth.

She grabbed the first items of clothing from her draw, slipped them on over her night clothes, and picked up James' cloak. She knew it was James', but she didn't know when or why he used it.

Not bothering to wake the others, Enid slipped the cloak over herself, and started down to the Hospital Wing, using all of the secret passages she could remember from the Marauders' lessons (they sometimes showed her their secret portraits, doorways, and passages, because she was pretty much one of them after hanging out with them so much).

———————

James lifted his head when he heard the door creak open. Madam Pomfrey was due to return in two or so minutes, and he could see no one inside the room save himself and Lily.

Enid peered around to make sure no one was watching, and then drew off the cloak, rushing to James and Lily.

"What the hell! What happened to her? When did this happen? Why didn't you wake me up?" Enid's flow of questions didn't stop for a second.

"Enid! I told you in the note; I think Eric drugged her butterbeer."

Enid sank into a chair on the other side of Lily's bed, "Okay, start from the beginning and leave NOTHING out."

"She missed the end of the ball, and I was worried, because Eric had dragged her off earlier. She didn't want to go with him, but she did, and, he was very insistent on her drinking the butterbeer he had brought her. Damn! I can't believe I didn't realize! I'm such an idiot. I was worried before the end of the ball. I told Christine how worried I was, and she just told me not to be. I was still worried when I got back to the Common Room, so I stayed there and waited for her to come back. I was just about to fall asleep when I heard her at the portrait hole. She came in, didn't talk, and collapsed. I;m so stupid!"

James was now rubbing his temples and pacing.

"Where's Madam Pomfrey?" Enid asked, ignoring James' attempts to pull out his hair.

"She went to get a special potion from Snape. She should be back soon."

"Don't beat yourself up about it, James. It's not your fault." Enid forced James back into his chair and took his hands, "You care about Lily, I know you do, and you would never want her to get hurt. You didn't do anything wrong; in fact, you probably saved her life, and… LILY!"

Lily had moved slightly, but then she started to shudder violently, her face growing steadily paler. She kept shuddering for a few moments, and then went limp and still.

"But she moved! She's not moving! Why isn't she moving? WHY ISN'T SHE MOVING?" Enid was slightly hysterical.

Madam Pomfrey chose that moment to reappear beside them, and told James to take Enid outside until she had calmed down.

James cradled Enid in his strong arms until she stopped shouting, and started to cry quietly.

"I want to kill him James," Enid sobbed into his shoulder, "And if she dies, I will kill him. I swear it. But James, I don't want her to die."

"I don't want her to die either," James stroked Enid's back to soothe her. Silent tears were streaming down his face too now (who says guys are too macho to cry?...), and he said, almost to reassure himself, more than Enid, "And she won't."

———————

It was around 8:00 that morning that the Marauders and the girls first started to wake up. Sirius and Christine were already sitting with James and Enid when Remus burst in, only half awake and shouting something about polka dotted frogs. Madam Pomfrey was on him in a second, telling him to zip it or leave. He chose the first and got Sirius (who had heard the story five times and knew it pretty well by then), to explain the note and Lily's situation to him.

At nearly half past eight, Lydia and Peter (fully awake, I might add) followed, fighting to get through the door first.

"What happened, and why did no one wake me up?" Lydia rushed over to Lily's bed and gasped, "Okay, someone has some explaining to do! Is she okay?"

"Madam Pomfrey thinks she'll be okay. She was definitely drugged," James rubbed his sleep-deprived eyes.

"Hey, why don't you head back to the Common Room and get some sleep?" Enid looked sleepily back, "We'll tell you when she's up."

"Why don't you?" James asked pointedly.

Enid nodded in understanding, as she definitely wasn't going anywhere, "But you have been up longer than me. And you look like hell."

"Oh, and you don't?" James looked Enid up and down; bags under her eyes the size of saucers, hair coming down out of her scrunchie…

Enid rolled her eyes and was about to reply, when Sirius jumped in, "Hey, we've got one injury here; we DON'T need another one!"

He was slightly paler than usual, and his dark brown eyes had lost their usual gleam, and he looked rather sick.

"Sirius, are you alright?" James looked concerned.

"Yeah. Fine. I'll be right back." Sirius stood, and walked to the door.

"You need company?" Lydia looked worriedly at her boyfriend, who shook his head and left.

James, who was not as quick as he usually would be at eight-thirty in the morning due to lack of sleep, finally realized what was bothering his friend. He followed Sirius outside and confronted him.

"Padfoot, does it remind you?"

Sirius just nodded, and looked like he wouldn't respond further, but then went into a rant, "She's just lying there, white faced and dead."

"She's not dead."

"No, but my Dad was, wasn't he. I get home, and he's just lying, dead. He looked like that just before he went!"

Sirius' father had been murdered the year before. He had been coming home for the Christmas holidays in their fourth year. His mother was supposed to be at work and come by later, while his father was supposed to be at the house, waiting for him:

(A/N: This next part – funky writing only – is Sirius' memory).

_Sirius sighed as he stepped off the Hogwarts Holiday express (the holiday train takes the students straight to their towns), and breathed in the fresh, grassy air of his hometown. Derbyshire. Lake country! _

_James was a Londoner and Sirius was a Londoner in appearance and accent, but a countryside guy at heart. As was James, though James didn't live in the countryside. Sirius and James spent most of their holidays visiting each other anyway. They swam in the lakes and played Quidditch in the fields at Sirius', and went shopping, chatting up pretty girls, and were planning to go clubbing this summer, at James'._

_Sirius passed through the barrier to the little train station platform on the other side. He looked around and saw his driver (James and Sirius both have unbelievably rich families), Michael._

"_Mike!" Sirius grinned and dragged his trunk over to a dark haired man, dressed all in black._

_Mike grinned back and picked up the trunk with ease, shoving it into the open boot of the long, sleek black car._

"_Master Sirius," Mike held open a door to the car for Sirius to get into, "I take it you've been up to the usual hyjinx at school?"_

"_Who, me? Nah… Well… yeah! James and I did a few things to do with mice and glowing gobstoppers (did you know that, if you light it up, you can see inside a mouses' stomach? Some of the girls didn't like that discovery too much…). Oh, and there was the one with the exploding toilet seats…"_

"_I've changed my mind; I don't want to know. You two are quite a pair of mischief makers, I'll give you that." Mike shook his head and turned right, "We're entering your property now."_

"_Oh, thanks Mike," Sirius peered out the car window at a few lakes and fields._

_The Black Manor was visible in the far distance; a huge mansion in the middle of the fields. Sirius' family owned all of the surrounding land. _

_But, Sirius could see something over the castle. Something green and sparkly. It had a black wiggly line cutting through the center of it. The Dark Mark!_

"_Speed!" Sirius yelled. Mike sped up the driving and screeched to a halt on the driveway to the mansion._

_Sirius dived out of the car and saw, to his horror, that it WAS the Dark Mark hovering above his home. He was standing beside the car, just staring blankly at the Mark in the sky. Sirius also happened to be standing on the same side of the car as Mike, the driver, and Sirius was right beside the wing mirror of the car. _

_Sirius caught the glint of a wand and acted seconds before it happened by whipping out his wand._

"_Stupify!" Sirius screamed as he whirled around and ducked. A flash of green light just missed Sirius' ear and Mike was lying on the ground, stunned. Sirius walked over to him, shaking with rage, and yanked back his left sleeve to reveal a Mark, identical to the one in the sky, branded on his arm._

_Sirius then sprinted inside his house, and ran in and out of all of the rooms calling for his father. He kept yelling until, "Dad!" He found him._

_Aaron Black was lying on the floor of his study. His dark, tall, strong, and handsome features, many of which his eldest son had inherited, were pale and sickly looking._ (Just like Lily's).

_Sirius ran to his Dad's side, and felt for a pulse. There was nothing. Mike, their driver, or just a Death Eater, had murdered his father._

_Sirius had emerged from his house, only to be greeted by a sea of Ministry Witches and Wizards. He was almost crazy with rage. _

_Since it was early morning, the press were there, clicking away with their cameras like mad. Probably for the morning's Daily Prophet. The press disapparated shortly after Sirius appeared, and he was left to the Minister of Magic for questioning. _

_Sirius didn't want to talk; who would? But, he did. He explained everything that had happened, and was joined shortly by his Mother, and younger brother, who both started to cry._

_Then James had apparated, with his mother and father, and stood by Sirius, explaining that he had seen the Daily Prophet and come right over. Sirius was fine, until 'Mike' came around, and then James had to wrestle Sirius to the ground to stop him from trying to kill the Death Eater whom had murdered Sirius' own father._

_The Ministry granted Sirius a pardon for under-age magic, for the circumstances allowed it, and the Ministry also organized the funeral, for Aaron Black had been an important Ministry official._

Sirius returned to the present and James put his arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Padfoot, it's okay. I know you miss him. You shouldn't blame yourself; it wasn't your fault… It was…" James voice faltered.

"Yes, it was. I should have realized sooner. I should have stopped it."

"How? You're not a mind reader. You couldn't have stopped it from happening. You were just the first one to find him. He died in battle, which was probably the way he wanted to go. And I'm sure he put up a struggle, and did you proud before it happened." James patted his Sirius' back, feeling even worse for the wear.

"I know, it's just… No, you know what? You're right. I couldn't have prevented it, but, I swear to you, that, someday, I'm going to be able to save the people I love most from Voldemort." Sirius had a glint in his eyes, which James did not dare to disappoint.

"Okay, I don't doubt that you will be able to do that something. But, now, let's focus on Lily being okay, huh?" James smiled at his friend, and the pair of them went back into the Hospital Wing.

——————

About half an hour later, after Madam Pomfrey had cast a number of ridiculously complicated spells on Lily, Lydia, Sirius, and Remus returned to the Hospital Wing with trays of breakfast. James refused to eat anything, while the others dug in happily, glad of something to occupy themselves with, other than staring at Lily's limp form.

It was about another half hour (when Christine had pulled out a book) until Madam Pomfrey noticed any change in Lily.

"Her pulse is growing. I can feel a steady beat." Madam Pomfrey ordered silence so that she could perform the next part of the healing spell.

"Yes, I think you lot can stop worrying. She's going to be fine."

There was silence as everyone took in what Madam Pomfrey had just said. Then everyone grinned, laughed, and even jumped up and down (Enid and Lydia – who else).

Another silence broke out when the doors to the ward opened a few minutes later, and Albus Dumbledore strolled in.

He looked as worried as the rest of them had been minutes before as he said, "Why was I not informed of Miss Evans' condition before now? I was just told by a house elf from the kitchens."

"Sorry Professor, but we have all been too worried to think about responsibilities and stuff. I'll be damned if Lily hasn't woken up, sent you word of it herself, and climbed back into bed. She's the responsible one." Enid smiled sheepishly at the Headmaster.

"Well, when you put it like that… How is Miss Evans?" Dumbledore smiled back.

"She is going to be fine, I think, Headmaster," Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, "She will need a lot more sleep than is usual, though, once she wakes up."

"So, about as much as Lydia?" Enid and Christine said slyly, making everyone laugh, and Lydia blush furiously.

"Awww… It's okay Lydsy-Widsy," Sirius sang, pretending to ruffle Lydia's hair, "We don't judge people on how much sleep they need; if we did, we wouldn't be sitting here with Lily."

Lydia rolled her eyes at her boyfriend and kissed him on the cheek. He grinned goofily.

"UH…" A quiet sound could be heard from behind the curtains that Madam Pomfrey had erected around Lily's white bed.

Everyone looked at the bed, and Madam Pomfrey rushed to open the curtains. Lily was moving slightly. Her head was tilting to one side and her arm as across her stomach, as opposed to it's former position of straight, on the bed.

Madam Pomfrey muttered the last part of her spell, and forced some sort of potion-y goop down Lily throat. Lily's eyes flickered open, and remained, half-closed, until Madam Pomfrey's potion kicked in.

"Lily!" everyone squealed at the same time. Sirius kissed Lydia, Enid pounced on James, hugging him happily, and Remus and Peter got up and started to do a little jig. Professor Dumbledore smiled broadly, and Christine threw herself at Lily, before realizing that that might not have been the best idea.

"Lily! We were so worried about you, and… I'm not supposed to be doing this. Whoops!" Christine drew away from her friend, still grinning.

Lily's face cracked into a smile, but then went a pale shade of green. Christine noticed this change in her appearance and commented that, "She looks like she's going to…" Madam Pomfrey shoved a bucket under Lily's nose, "Puke… Eewww… Not looking. Avoiding looking at all costs…" Christine shut her eyes and tried to back away without seeing anything unpleasant, but she backed up a little to far, and collided with a metal chair.

"OOWWW… Sorry," she grimaced as she rubbed her… and got to her feet.

Enid on the other hand, still looked positively delighted, "Better out than in!"

"Eewww… I _so_ did _not_ need that reference right now Enid," Lily leaned over the bucket again, "Uckh!"

Dumbledore took the pause in Lily's 'being sick', to shake her hand and whole-heartedly congratulate her on making a full recovery. He then bade them farewell and strode from the room, pausing only to say that he would question them later, and that they should make the best of the limited time they would be allowed with the 'invalid'.

Madam Pomfrey insisted that the friends had only ten minutes to spend with Lily, and that they should use those minutes to force-feed her chocolate. Then she left them in peace, with only a four-foot cube of chocolate to remind them of her.

Lily couldn't remember much of the last night, and, between having large chunks of chocolate shoved down her throat, asked her friends about it.

Sirius and Enid had fun embellishing James' role in the story, to make him sound more impressive, but he kept contradicting them, so their plan didn't really work.

"James saw you, and you were eating something, and started to choke, so he did whatever it is you do to a choking person to save your life," Sirius was saying, but James shook his head,

"She coughed!"

Sirius ignored him, and Enid continued, "And then you collapsed, and he picked you up and carried you straight here, while fending off a few loose boggarts, and Peeves, who was chucking knives, and, then he stayed up all night brewing a potion for you which saved your life again."

Lily raised her eyebrows, threw-up, and then said, "Okay, am I supposed to believe _any_ of that?…"

Remus sighed and filled her in properly, "James was waiting for you in the Common Room, and you came in and collapsed, so he carried you here, and sent us notes, and got Madam Pomfrey, and has been sitting faithfully by your side ever since. So, I guess he did save your life, but only once, and, loose boggarts?" Remus looked disdainfully at Enid and Sirius, both of whom immediately looked at the ceiling and whistled, innocently.

Lily smiled. "Thank you, James."

James shrugged, and Enid wanted to know, "Does this mean your indebted to him, and now you won't be able to pay him back, so your father will sell you to him, and you'll have to get married?"

James looked frightened, so Lily told Enid to shut up, and that she wasn't going to get 'sold' to anybody, especially not James, like a prostitute. That would be sick, wrong, and weird.

"Oh well, just a thought," Enid shrugged, "And, hey, what did happen once you left the table at the ball?"

"Nothing," Lily said, quickly.

"You are lying here, still half-drugged, and you're telling us it was nothing?" James chimed in.

"He drugged me? Oh, my gosh, that explains a lot…" Lily noticed her friends looking at her incredulously, and reasoned, "Hey, I don't have to be quick when I'm drugged."

"So, what happened, and why did he drug you?" James persisted.

"Stuff."

"What kind of stuff?" Sirius eyed her suspiciously.

"Why do you two care, anyway?" Lily glared at the guys.

"Hey, James started it…" Sirius held up his hands defensively and James glared at him.

"Can you guys excuse us for a minute?" Lydia looked at the boys.

"But…"

"La-ter…" Lydia mouthed at Sirius.

Once the boys were safely outside in the corridor, Christine looked imploringly at Lily, and demanded the truth.

Enid and Lydia sat and waited for her to speak.

After a long pause, Lily did, "Eric led me away from you guys, and I thought he was taking me to the gardens, but he found an abandoned classroom, and started talking. He got me to drink all of the butterbeer, and then he started kissing me. I had a sort of head-ache, which I guess the butterbeer gave me, and I wasn't feeling too good. It was fine for about half an hour; just kissing, when he started to make moves on me. I asked him to stop, but he didn't, so I tried to leave, but he wouldn't let me. Then he tried to undo my dress, and I took out my wand. He took out his, and tried to threaten me, but I hexed him. It was only 'impedimenta', so he tried to follow me, and he hit me, but I kicked him (stilettos make good weapons). He started shooting random curses at me, so I ran to the Great Hall, but the ball was over, so, I made my way up to the Tower, and found James waiting for me. All I remember is James putting his arm around me, and then I blacked out."

All Lydia could find to say was 'oh my God', and all Christine could do was stutter. Enid, who had not lost the power of speech, was chanting, over and over again, "I'll kill him. The lousy B…! I'll kill him!"

Lydia put her arms around Lily, and wrapped her in a tight, warm embrace. "Lily, I can't believe it. That's attempted rape!"

"WHAT!" all four of the boys, who had walked back into the room to hear those last three words, yelled.

Madam Pomfrey was on them like a bear on honey, screeching, "out!", and jostling all of the students out of the ward.

_Author's Note: I hope you liked the chapter. It is slightly darker than the rest… Not to mention weirder, and fluffier…Oh well… And in my story, Sirius family only becomes dark after his father is murdered, and his mother re-marries an old, evil b... Now, on a happier note, thank yous (and I've numbered you from the beginning of the story, so, don't be confused if you reviewed the last chapter first, but have the highest number, it just makes my job cooler… Also, if you didn't review the last chapter, I've skipped your number… And, _some_ of you didn't tell me your fave characters or thoughts on sequels…):_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… Hope you can read this between swimming… I just wanted to wait and prove a point to one of my friends that my reviewers are AWESOME, and that they can do anything! Thanks for reviewing!_

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… Geez, what is it exactly, that you have against Lily? Sorry that the Remus thing was so sappy… I just needed a way for them to admit they like each other… Thanks for reviewing!_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… Geez, where have you been getting all the kitties? I'm glad you like so many characters… Thanks for reviewing!_

_doomonastick: My seventh reviewer… Glad you liked the chapter and penguin on a pogo stick! I liked your review; funny, funny, funny! Thanks for reviewing!_

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer… I'm glad you think Eric is a creep; that's exactly what I was going for (with maybe a few swear words and 'sleezy's thrown in…)! And, of course James saved her – duh – he_ is_ James! Thanks for reviewing!_

_lovespell0591: My eleventh reviewer… I like Enid too! She really is just a female version of Sirius (who, I'm happy to report, will be acting more Sirius-y and ridiculous in chapters to come! Bubble-filled Common Room, anyone?), and very fun to write! I quite like the name 'Lydia'. I first heard it in Pride and Prejudice, which is one of my fave movies and books. Thanks for reviewing! _

_vea: My fourteenth reviewer… Glad you like my story! I like writing it… Thanks for reviewing!_

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… I think I definitely will keep going after this story… Who doesn't want to read about sixth and seventh, and the proposal, and the marriage, and the baby…? Maybe I could even change it, so that they don't die… That would be happy… Thanks for reviewing!_

_Dooki: My sixteenth reviewer… Now just tell me what's wrong with falling in love with fictional characters when their as hot as James, Sirius, and Remus! Nothing, I tell you, NOTHING! Don't cry, it wasn't supposed to be sad… Wait, what am I saying? Of course it was! Thanks for reviewing!_

_starsword: My seventeenth reviewer… Stop holding your breath! Like I've said before, I would probably be the one to get fined if you die (jkjk)! No, James does not kill Eric – at least, not in this story, but Eric will resurface - , but that sure as heck doesn't mean he can't try… Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer… I don't mind you liking drama… I only hope that this chapter has wet your throat, but there will be more, I hope! As for Lydia and Sirius rowing… You just wait! screams and kicks self-was I not supposed to mention that they fight? Oops, I did it again! Oh, and as for drama, what if a couple people died…? swears and covers mouth with hand Thanks for reviewing!_

_Rebecca Victoria Rushton: My nineteenth reviewer… Okay, firstly, I loved your latest review; so funny! I would rather not be stuck in between Heaven and Hell though, so I've given you the next chapter! Secondly, yes this was started pre-HBP, but I have figured out how to write Slughorn – stupid git - in, so that will be in either a chapter that's coming, or the story about their sixth year; EITHER WAY, IT WILL COME! Now, also in the fourth book, Harry 'swears he could have summoned him with a summoning charm' about the dude that Parvati meets at the Yule Ball. If that doesn't mean you can, oh well… I'm glad you approve of the 'not-so-corny' kiss. And as for Lily being soaked from the vat of water, I could have sworn that I made her dry herself, but that might have been after I posted it… Oh well! And teachers suck for not letting students play strip go fish! Thanks for reviewing!_

_brooke michelle: My twentieth reviewer… Glad you like my story! I'll keep posting if you guys keep reviewing! Thanks for reviewing!_

_vegitarians ROCK__: My latest reviewer… You rule for agreeing with me about Usher being totally hot! Now, what is your opinion of Brad Pitt...? tries not to be distracted by Brad Pitt fantasies So, you like Catherine too, huh? I love her too, for some weird reason… Maybe because she's cool, or has the same name as me, only spelled differently… I think I'll try to find a way to put her back in the story… Anyway, thanks for reviewing! _

_Whew! That took a long time! Seriously! lies panting on ground from the longness of the time spent on review thanking I will post the next chapter (Stripper Music and Gambling!) when I have over 100 (yep, you heard me right… except that you can't hear me because I'm writing this… Oh well, you know what I mean! The big 1-0…0) reviews. Come on, we can do it! I have faith in you guys! That and, you people keep telling me how much you like the story, so I figure that you'll review until I give you the next chapter, which is probably in my top three favourite chapters list so far! It's a little weird though, and hardly believable… There seems to be a lot of stripping in this story… Hmmm… Is that saying something? But there is even more to come, after that… Remember, 100 reviews or more…_

_-Kat_


	13. Stripper Music and Gambling!

_Author's Note: Okay, this is the most random chapter! It's kind of unbelievable because it's so random… Oh well! 100 reviews! Omigosh, you guys rule, okay! tosses candy and cookies and cake and ice cream to reviewers Now, please don't throw things at me (or kill me with a rusty spanner, or banish me to the place between Heaven and Hell…), when you read this chapter. Warning for craziness and unbelievabilitiness! Next chapter is better. Hehe, next chapter is funny (in my opinion). Oh, and, apologies for the use of much football in this chapter… Won't happen again (I think)… I just started school, so won't have as much time to write… But I'll do what I can. Now, thanks for reviewing. This is sort of a filler chapter, but don't get mad, because the next chapter is good fun (think stripping, great hall-hot-fights). Bubbles!_

_-Kat _

Chapter thirteen – Stripper Music and Gambling!

The next few days passed rather non-eventfully for the fifth-years. Enid, Lydia, and Christine had taken it upon themselves to tell the boys about Lily's experience, and also to tell them that they were not to bring it up in Lily's presence at all, unless it was in the direst of circumstances.

The first day or so after Lily's return to the Common Room had been 'awkward', to say the least, but, after that, everyone seemed to slip comfortably back into their normal holiday routines. Lily's return was, in fact, the day before New Year's Eve, and her friends succeeded in getting her excited about spending another night in the Common Room to celebrate.

"Enid?" Sirius looked up from the Lolita Crawford magazine which he and James were currently poring over.

"Yah?" Enid didn't look up from her exploding snap card castle, lest it should explode when she wasn't looking.

"You know when we stayed up on Christmas Eve?"

"Yeh huh…" she said suspiciously, still not turning her head.

"Well, didn't you say that you were going to suggest a game of… something?"

"Oh, you mean strip poker?" Enid finally turned to look at Sirius, and as soon as she did, her castle blew up, splattering soot all over the side of her face.

James looked up from the magazine curiously and Sirius continued, "Well, what is it, and could you teach it to us tonight?"

"That depends. You guys might be too embarrassed to play…" Enid smirked to herself. She liked corrupting innocent minds (not that you could call Sirius or James _innocent_, but they didn't know how to play poker, let alone _strip_ poker, and that, to her, screamed, 'innocent').

"Why, how do you play?" James was interested now, because he didn't know what Enid had meant by they 'might be too embarrassed'.

Lily, also in the room, had chosen to ignore that particular conversation, until it reached that point. She knew too well, what strip poker was, and how to play (she had some _interesting_ memories – all I need to say here is, 'her cousin Alfred' and 'pillowcase' - heehee).

"Enid," Lily shook her head until she had a fierce headache, "They do not want to play strip poker. Need I remind you about my cousin Alfred…?"

"Chill Lils. We won't be playing with anyone we're related to anyway; it'll just be (most likely) shirtless Sirius, James, Remus, and… Oh. Oh well. I don't have a problem with it. And Lydia will love the idea, I'm sure…" Enid grinned at Sirius and James' faces. Both started to protest loudly.

"Hey, hey, hey, who said anything about a shirtless Sirius?..."

"Now wait a doggone minute! What did you just say about me being shirtless?"

"Was I mentioned?" Remus looked petrified, because he had just walked in to hear Enid say that.

"Strip poker is a card game, in which, when you lose, you remove an item of clothing. I knew you'd be too embarrassed to play though. Doubt there's much for you guys to play with, don't you agree Lils?"

Lily, who had given up resisting Enid's crazy antics, started to enjoy herself, "Yeah. They don't want to give guys in general a bad name…"

James and Sirius (Remus just blushed and looked slightly frightened by the game) looked affronted, and both sprung into stuttering angrily and objecting constantly. Enid and Lily exchanged mock-knowing glances, much to Sirius and James' chagrin.

—————

That night at dinner, Remus (very red) and Marrella (slightly pink) announced that they were officially dating. James, Sirius, Peter, and Enid made spectacles of themselves by jumping up and down, whistling and cat calling as loudly as they could. Professor McGonagall was by their side instantaneously (which is just a fancy way of saying instantly… Geez-damn smart people and their fancy words…), telling them to sit down, and deducting points from Griffindor as punishment for such displays.

Lily, and Lydia got up and hugged each of their friends (Christine did some grinning, but no hugging – what did you expect?), before leaving the hall. Lydia said that she was going to get ready for that night, and Christine and Lily decided to hit the library.

"Lily," Christine said quickly after they had taken seats in the library. "I just remembered; I have to help Enid with something. See ya!"

Lily looked startled by her friend's sudden disappearance, but then decided that it was safer not to ask. She looked back to her book, A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and was interrupted for a second time, by a tap on her shoulder.

"Mind if I sit?" James smiled down at her. She shrugged and he sat down across from her.

"You can just keep reading; I don't mind." James leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the table.

"I'm glad I have your permission," Lily responded sardonically, and returned to Hitchhiker's.

After a few minutes, Lily looked back to James. They hadn't been alone in each other's company since the ball, and now James was just lounging about, watching Lily read her book. She was sort of creeped out by this and determined to stop it.

"Could you please stop staring at me? It's making me uncomfortable. I'm just reading! So what do you want?"

"What makes you think I want something?" James pretended to look hurt.

"You barge in here, sit down, get comfy, and then just sit, watching me, which, if you don't want something, is also disturbing and weird. So, back to the point; what do you want?"

"Okay, fine. Evans," here, Lily rolled her eyes and muttered 'don't tell me we're back to that?' under her breath, but James ignored her, "I think we should go out."

"Go out where?" Lily gave him a funny look, "Go out-side? Go out swimming?..."

"Go out?" James raised his eyebrows, "Like, on a date…"

Lily blushed and shook her head, "James, I thought we covered this already? I'm not going out with you!"

"Come on Evans; you can stop playing hard to get…"James grinned cockily and waited for her to agree. Lily just sighed, "I am not playing 'hard to get' James Potter! I said I'm not going out with you! Since you obviously don't have a firm grasp on the English language, I'll let you read my actions!"

She stood up, grabbed her book, and started to storm off, but James stopped her. He pulled her back to him so that she was leaning against a bookshelf.

"Look, you know you like me, so why do you argue?" He leaned towards her, and was about to kiss her, when her knee collided with his ahem… stomach.

James doubled over, groaning, and Lily stormed off again (successfully this time…), brushing angrily past a bewildered Sirius, who found James on the floor a second later.

"Do I want to know?" Sirius pulled James to his feet. James shook his head, still in too much pain to speak.

——————————

"You did what? You kneed him in the nuts?" Enid was sitting on someone else's bed, listening to Lily complain about her latest encounter with James. Enid had just wanted to confirm this before she burst into laughter, fell off the bed because she was laughing so hard, and started rolling on the floor.

Christine smiled at the thought of James getting firstly dissed, and secondly getting kneed in the balls. She then proceeded to ask Lily, "But, I thought you liked him, Lil?"

"Nope; still a prick. But at least I get my fun out of his jerkiness…" Lily shrugged and laughed.

"I said we'd meet Lyds in a few minutes. She's gonna be in the kitchens, getting the junk for tonight.

"Kay, let's go. Enid, get up!" Lily yanked Enid onto her feet and Enid's giggles finally subsided.

The three girls made their way down the dormitory staircase to the Common Room and were just walking past the fireplace, when Sirius strolled in through the portrait hole, followed by a grumbling and surly James. The boys stopped in their tracks and James sidestepped so that he was mostly behind Sirius.

Enid took one look at the smug expression on Lily's face, and the sour one on James', and collapsed again, engulfed by yet more laughter. James glared at all three girls, and a random first year whom, upon entering the Common Room, had seen only glaring and hysterical laughter, backed away slowly, and then turned-tail and ran.

"Come on…" Lily and Christine dragged Enid out the portrait hole, where, after it had closed, all of the girls erupted into giggles.

James was left glaring after them, and Sirius had to try hard not to grin himself.

———————

Lydia led the girls back up to the Common Room at around 9:30. Sirius was waiting for them in the Common Room to ask whether or not they were supposed to wear their regular sleeping attire, like the last time. Enid thought about it, and then stated that they had to be wearing that, but it would be smart to wear other clothes over those because it wouldn't be fair for strip poker if the guys only started with one item of clothing.

Sirius nodded and left them, to change.

———————

It was another half an hour before anyone was ready. Lydia had to find her pink halter-top (to match her pants), Enid had to find a top (her closet could be very temperamental at times, and had locked itself from the inside), and Christine wanted to send her brothers New Year's Curses in the mail. Lily told Christine to send the curses tomorrow, if at all, lent Enid a few tops, and found Lydia's halter.

"Now can we go and clean our teeth, please?" Lily begged, moving towards the door. The other girls followed, and then went down to the Common Room.

"Well, finally!" Sirius grumbled as James' gobstones shot a green-ish substance at him. "We've been waiting for half an hour!"

"Sorry," Lydia grinned apologetically and kissed her boyfriend, "I couldn't find my top, Lily had to talk Christine out of sending her brothers hexes, and Enid's closet was being moody."

"It's fine, really…" Sirius grinned, dazed from her kiss. James and Lily rolled their eyes simultaneously. Christine, Remus, and Enid saw this and sniggered behind their hands. Peter, being Peter, just stood and wondered what they were all laughing at.

"What should we do first?" Sirius came out of his trance, rubbing his hands together.

"Something before strip poker; anyone got any ideas?" Enid looked around expectantly.

"Isn't Evans the one with all of the ideas?" James turned to Lily.

"Thanks, Potter. That's probably as close to a compliment you'll ever get. And, no, I don't have any ideas, but if I feel the need to kick someone, I'll let you know."

"OHHH… BURN!" Enid pointed at James, laughed, and tried to get Lily to high five her. He glared.

_(A/N: There seems to be a lot of glaring throughout the story, so I'll change it…). _

He _glowered_ (better?).

"Guys, this sounds a little serious, but, after what happened to Lily, I've been thinking…" Lydia started.

Sirius cut across her and she hit him, "Always a dangerous thing… OWWW! I have an abusive girlfriend!"

"Anyway, I think, just in case anything happens to one of us, we should write little notes to one another. Like wills I guess, but more personal. No one can read them unless the author is dead, and you have to write a note to everybody. And you can write new ones, but the recipient has to get the originals as well as the present copy."

"I think that's a good idea. So, you mean if you wrote a sappy one to Sirius now, and then you guys broke up, you could write another one, and, if you die, he would get the sappy one _and_ the post-break-up one?" Christine asked. Lydia nodded, and everyone agreed that it was a good idea. They then spread out for half-an-hour to work on the notes.

Lily wrote everyone's, and paused at James'; lost for what to write.

James did the same thing, but paused at Lily's.

For reasons of her own, Enid had trouble with only one; Sirius'.

"Okay. I'm thoroughly depressed now; can we play that game?" Remus looked sad.

"Sure," Enid agreed, and then enlisted Lily's help to explain it.

The two girls had spent twenty minutes trying to teach their friends how to play poker before giving up. Christine was the only one even remotely close to understanding, so they decided to play 'strip exploding snap' instead.

When James and Sirius had taken off their sweaters, and Lydia was in shorts and a bra, Enid remembered something.

Lily and Enid, before Hogwarts and Quidditch had both been big football fans (this means soccer for you Yanks…), and Enid remembered that there was supposed to be a game on that night. "Lily! I just remembered; Man U are playing. The match should be almost over now, but we can still catch half of it."

_(A/N: Man U is short for Manchester United – English football team - for all you non-football people. I'm more into hockey though – Go Sens Go! – Ottawa hockey team). _

"Enid, we have no way of seeing the match – NO T.V.S - so don't get me all excited for nothing…" Lily slouched, remembering all of the games her Dad had taken her to when she was little.

Their friends had understood nothing of their conversation, because they had never heard of football, T.V.'s, or Manchester United. Curious looks were exchanged all round.

"Yes there is! We can hear it! I charmed my muggle radio, and it has a sports channel! I'll get it!" Enid leapt out of her seat and dashed up the stairs.

She reappeared moments later, clutching a small black radio. She set it on the table, and started to twiddle with the knobs.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius voiced the unspoken question. He was answered by two loud 'sshhhh!'-es, because Enid radio had finally hit something other than static. Enid pumped up the volume:

'And, in the last three minutes of the game, at a tied score, Manchester United have called for a time-out! Time-in! And Beckham has the ball!'

_(A/N: For those of you who like or follow football, I like David Beckham, so he's in the game…)._

'He's streaking down the pitch. He passes to Giggs. Giggs dribbles towards David Sceaman in Arsenal's goal,'

_(A/N: Sorry if I spelt his name wrong, but no one likes Arsenal anyway – sorry if you do but…)._

Enid and Lily were pressed against the speaker on the small radio. When someone tried to speak, they were greeted by hisses of 'shut up!', and 'sod off!'.

'And Giggs passes back to Beckham! With 10 seconds left, will he shoot? Will he score? And, I don't believe it! Beckham has beaten Sceaman! Manchester United score, bringing the score to 2 – 1! Man U WINS!'

_(A/N: This next part is sort of ridiculous, but it was fun to write…). _

"YES!" Enid screamed.

"WE KICKED ASS!" Lily shrieked, bouncing up and down.

Enid flicked off the radio, and listened to random grumpy students yelling at them for waking them ("If you don't shut the hell up, I'll kick your ass!" "SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP YOU BLOODY PLONKERS!")

"SOR-RY!" Enid yelled back, and she and Lily continued their little victory dance silently.

"We won!" Lily whispered, and both of the girls decided at the same time to honour their fave player (Beckham – duh!) by copying footballers everywhere. Each one peeled off their shirt to reveal a white sports bra. Sirius and James had been about to question the two crazy girls, but upon seeing this, high fived and stared at the two now-shirtless girls.

Lydia kicked Sirius, and he massaged his shin.

Lily and Enid pulled out their wands and turned each other red and white (Man U colours) to show support.

"Hey," Sirius said evilly, "Didn't you say that, once you remove an item of clothing, you can't put it back on?"

Remus, Peter, Christine, and James all laughed and James was inspired, "So, what the hell was that, anyway? First, we listen to some lunatic yelling about _dribbling_ and _Beckal_, and then you guys pull a stripping act?"

Both girls burst into a series of indignant protests: "It's Beck_ham_, you moron!" and "Potter, just because you will never be as good an athlete as him, doesn't mean to say you can diss football, Beckham, and/or us!"

"And the strip dance?…" Lydia prodded.

"That's what most footballers do when they win or score. They take off their shirts and pour their ice boxes and water bottles over each other! Oh, we forgot the water…" Enid mumbled a short spell, and two sports water bottles appeared in her hands. She handed one to Lily, and the two grinned, aiming them at each other.

Once each was truly soaked, Lily smirked, "And this, is what the truly crazy fans do…" She picked up her bottle again, refilled it with her wand, and turned on James. His eyes widened in shock, and before he could do a thing, Lily was having the time of her life spraying him with water.

Enid, so Lily wouldn't seem to be picking on James, turned on everyone else, and squeezed her bottle. Everyone shrieked and ducked under the table as Lily and Enid ran around the table dousing everyone with ice cold water. Remus and James finally came to their senses and yelled, '_finite incantatem_!' together. A few more angry yells from fellow students greeted them. They were probably going to get up ten minutes before midnight to celebrate the New Year.

"Okay, now that that craziness is over, let's get back to the game." Sirius tapped the cards smartly, and they exploded, singing his finger (if that's possible…).

Lily and Enid took their seats again, dried themselves with their wands, and laid their cards.

James swore and pulled off his shirt to reveal his nice muscles. Lily did concur with her friends that he had nice muscles, even if she didn't 'like' him.

"Aawww… We'll have liddle Jamsie down to his cute liddle boxers in no time," Sirius joked.

"And beyond if you have your way Sirius, sorry Lyds," Lily blinked innocently at Sirius. Sirius glowered at her, and everyone else, except James, started laughing.

"Someone's vicious tonight!" Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

Lily returned the gesture and dealt the cards again. "I get Remus' shirt!" Lily crowed; she loved torturing Remus.

"Aww… Damn!" Remus groaned and pulled his shirt off too. He took the cards and said, "I'll get you back Lily!" He dealt out the cards and everyone proceeded to turn over their hands (card hands…). Lydia swore loudly and hid under the table. Sirius dragged her out.

Since Lydia was wearing only tight shorts, underwear, and a bra, she didn't have much to take off. Enid pointed out gleefully that she didn't want to disappoint Sirius, and that she should take off her bra, but she refused, giving Enid the evil eye, and slipped out of her shorts. She was wearing black underwear, and immediately sat down to prevent anyone from seeing more than was absolutely necessary.

Lily laughed as Sirius looked disappointed (Lydia was sitting in between Lily and Christine) that he couldn't see his girlfriend's underwear. Lydia rolled her eyes and shook her head, glad that she had thought to sit down with two girls.

"Gimme those cards Remus," she ordered, "Someone's gonna pay!"

She handed out cards and, after laying down his hand, James swore again.

"I get James' trousers!" Lydia grinned. "Ahhh.. Revenge is sweet!"

James glared at Lydia and tried to talk his way out of removing his pants. Lily just found a new excuse to tease him, "Looks like we were right Enid, Potter is ashamed."

Enid grinned at Lily. James sighed, rolled his eyes, and unzipped his trousers. Sirius and Remus catcalled and hummed stripper music. Enid and Lydia joined them (Sirius also reached over and covered Lydia's eyes with his hand, before she kicked him). Lily and Christine rolled their eyes. Peter sat and thought (surprising, yes, but listen…) about the chocolate frogs lying on the coffee table. No one knew (or wanted to know) how (but they were all slightly glad), but Peter was good at strip exploding snap, and he was winning. That might be because he wasn't paying much attention to the arguments which seemed to be breaking out between everyone (football, stripping, Potter, Evans…), and was therefore not being distracted as much as the others.

"So, we have time for a few more rounds before midnight," Sirius looked down at his watch.

Enid grabbed the cards and shuffled them. Then she handed everyone some cards and stifled a grin. Lily had lost, and she was already down to her bra (thanks to the football match) and pajama pants (under which she wore tight shorts, like Lydia's, and underwear).

"DAMMIT!" Lily groaned. "Now you see why I don't like this game?"

"Because you suck? Gee, and here was I, thinking it had something to do with your cousin Alfred…" Sirius grinned wickedly.

"ENID! You told him?" Lily complained.

"Sorry Lils-y, he tickled me after you left earlier… You know I wouldn't have under any other circumstances… Sorry." Enid pouted.

"Fine, but if either of you tell ANYONE ELSE, I'll hex you until your noses fall off! Got that?"

"Yes, Alfred." Sirius nodded. Lily kicked him harder than Lydia usually did.

"Now you have to strip Lilita," Christine drummed her fingers on the tabletop.

"DAMMIT!" Lily groaned again. James leaned back in his chair slightly as Lily wriggled out of her loose pajama bottoms. She looked hot in her tight black shorts, but James wasn't about to admit that. They were back to the 'hating each other and calling each other by their last names' phase. Both of them enjoyed hating each other, even if they liked kissing too, so that was what they were going to do (hate, not kiss).

"You know, in my day, strip poker used to be about playing the poker, not watching people strip," Lily said thoughtfully. Enid laughed and pointed out that, one, it still _was_ her day, and two, they were playing strip exploding snap, not strip poker, so it was alright that they preferred making people strip to playing the card game, if a little creepy.

When it was five to midnight, the gang got dressed again (James was saved from having to remove his boxers too), and students started to come down each of the staircases to celebrate at twelve. The fifth years also decided that everybody should kiss someone else at midnight, whether on the cheek, or on the lips. Lily grabbed Remus' arm automatically, and James did the same with Enid. This left Christine with Peter, because Sirius and Lydia were obviously going to pair up.

The Common Room was packed at a minute to midnight, and everyone started the famous countdown, exploding and streamer shooting things at the ready. When they reached midnight, everyone made their things explode, pop, whiz, or shoot streamers, and Remus and Lily kissed each other on the cheek, as did Christine and Peter. Sirius and Lydia started up a snog session (much to some people's annoyance), and, to everyone's surprise, including Enid's, James kissed her on the lips. Enid kneed him in the groin right afterwards, and he grunted something about him 'being the target for a lot of that today'.

——————

All of the teenagers (and some of the staff…hehe) woke up rather grumpy and groggy the next morning, and there were more earaches and headaches than usual, but other than that, the majority of the student body seemed fine.

_Author's Note: Okay! I hope you didn't mind the craziness too much… Next chapter (Snowballs, schoolwork, and Cratehead… Oh, and Valentine's Day). Now for the thankyous: _

_crazylily: My first reviewer… This isn't an insult, but, what's wrong with your head? I'm sorry you feel bad right now, but maybe the weirdness of this chapter will have put your mind off it… The next chapter is funny… It includes more stripping! Hehe… Thanks for reviewing! _

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… Again, what's up with your fixation on killing Lily? But some questions like that (ex. what's up with my fixation on stripping…), are better left unanswered… Oh well. Thanks for reviewing!_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… Well, I've updated. Better? Glad you liked the other chapter. Thanks for reviewing!_

_aduck8myshoes: My fifth reviewer… It was my friend Laura who told me that. I can't not think 'gay baby' in an awkward silence either… Thanks for reviewing!_

_doomonastick: My seventh reviewer…Thanks for the faith in the 100 reviews man… Or, woman… Anyway, I don't really like excessive use of swear words either. No need for them… Glad you liked the suspense. Thanks for reviewing!_

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer… Will work on L/J fluff soon, though they will not get together until seventh year. Thanks for reviewing!_

_kittiegalal: My tenth reviewer… I take it you like evil laughs…? Anyway, glad you like the thought of sequels. I just thought that three school year, plus the 'afterlife' would be a really long story. Plus it looks cooler when you've written many stories… Thanks for reviewing!_

_Crush.Pink.Summer.: My thirteenth reviewer… Cool about the name and, you changed it again! Meh! I'm glad you like the story so much. Thanks for reviewing!_

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… Yeah… Eric sucks. Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Dooki: My sixteenth reviewer… Again, nothing wrong with loving fictional characters when they are as hot as the Marauders-minus Peter. Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_starsword: My seventeenth reviewer… Okay, don't kill anyone, or I dare say, you will have deprived James of his fun, should they meet again (hinthint)… Anyway, yes, stripping! I don't know what my obsession is, but it just seems so Sirius-y. He strips in the next chapter too (hehe-drools)… Oh well… I quite like Enid too. Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer… Both of those fights are written and on their way! Hehe… And I can promise a death at the end of this story (before the beginning of the next-sixth year)… Oops! Now, stay ten feet away at all times! Keep that rusty spanner away from me... Thanks for reviewing! _

_Rebecca Victoria Rushton: My nineteenth reviewer… Yes, I also have noticed the similarity between crazylily and my character. We have talked on the e-mail though, and I had Eric's character planned out a long time before I read With All My Heart (love the story-crushed that it's finished). My friend can attest to that. Oh well… Cool theory! My theory is that Harry is the seventh horcrux… I hope Sirius is alive. That would rock! Thanks for reviewing! _

_brooke michelle: My twentieth reviewer… I'm glad that you're writing a fic. It's good that you are using the talent that is most likely stored in your brain. Have fun with it, but the Bubbles are MINE, I tell you, ALL MINE! Thanks for reviewing! _

_vegitarians ROCK__: My twenty-first reviewer… Cooli! I love Brad Pitt, but I am so heartbroken that he and Jen broke up. sniffs Don't die, it's posted! Thanks for reviewing! _

_Eliot Z. Wheatherbee__: My twenty-second reviewer… I know that Usher was not in their time zone. Neither was Brad Pitt, David Beckham, or Grease… Wait, Grease might have been… Anyway, I use these things because, who knows when they actually existed (hypothetically), and who wants to look up all those crummy bands from their time period? Sorry that I use modern day stuff, but that's the way I write. Thanks for reviewing!_

_vegetarians will rule: My twenty-third reviewer… I'm glad you like it. Will write more and post soon. Thanks for reviewing!_

_miz-attidude: My twenty-fourth reviewer… I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_K McNeely: My twenty-fifth reviewer… Don't worry… The Marauders won't be arrested for trying to kill… Wait… That's good… Really good… Thanks for the idea! Thanks for reviewing!_

_MiYu.Lara: My latest reviewer… Glad you like my story. I will try to keep up the 'good' work. Yay! 100 reviews! Thanks for reviewing (and giving me the 100th review)!_

_Long, long time! Gahhhh! So, hows about 130 reviews for chapter 14? I like chapter 14… Stripping and fights… And evil Valentines (well, not really evil, but amusing)… Please review and I will post. I love you all and, many, many apologies if I forgot any reviewers! I will give you candy and an extra long review-note next time if you tell me you were forgotten (It has to be true though…). Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	14. Snowballs, Schoolwork, and Cratehead

_Author's Note: Okay, screw the aim for reviews this time. I can't be bothered to wait… So, I like this chapter. I tried to mix drama (at the end) with humour/ weirdness (Sirius), and I apologize now, because there is stripping in this chapter… I don't think there's any in the next though… I have decided that chapter 20 is going to be my masterpiece. Until chapter 21, etc… So, enjoy, and ignore the weird chapter name. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Chapter fourteen – Snowballs, Schoolwork, and Cratehead… Oh, and Valentine's Day 

Not long after New Year's, the students who had left for the holidays returned to the school, and lessons started up again. James had wasted no time in asking out Kate Orr, Ravenclaw's prettiest student, and she had said yes faster than a bullet leaves a gun.

_(A/N: Isn't that a weird simile? Seriously…)._

James and Lily had gotten into the habit of completely ignoring one another's presence in a room. They conversed only when absolutely necessary, and, in such circumstances, addressed each other by their last names. The only other times (that's plural – time_S_) they communicated, were to argue.

Their friends (the other fifth years), and even the professors, were aggravated by their crazy antics. And Lily and James, of all people; two of Hogwart's prized students!

Probably the most memorable disagreement the two had had, had been a week before Valentine's Day, when James had insisted on bringing Kate (or Cratehead, as Lily had christened her) into the Griffindor Common Room to hang out with his friends (this sucked for all of them, because they all – Sirius included, though he still thought she was hot – thought she was a self-centered, catty, annoying, brainless slut).

Lily had been sitting at a table by the fire, trying to write a Transfiguration essay on Animagi, while dealing with a splitting headache. Remus had been sitting next to her, trying to explain the essay (having finished his easily), and trying to prevent her from sticking a quill in her eye through frustration. Sirius had just been watching, amused.

"They just hold their wands and think of the creature that they're turning into," he had been saying. Lily had been arguing that, if this was true, then she should be able to think about a niffler, and turn into one too. Remus had been about to reply patiently, when James had walked in backwards, facing his girlfriend (having paused in their snog session so that they could grab a seat), and beat him to it, "Well, if it worked that way, it would be a certain improvement."

"Hello to you too, Potter," Lily had sniped sarcastically, and then added in an undertone to Remus and Sirius, "Oh, great, you brought Cratehead. All I need is ANOTHER migrane!"

Sirius and Remus snickered and James, who had heard enough of her comment to understand it, had glared at them before adding defensively to Lily, "Evans, do you have something to say to my girlfriend? Or to me, for that matter?"

"I have many things to say to you, Potter, but, I am afraid to say, none are very appropriate for the current surroundings. Plus, the likelihood of you understanding any of said comments, is rather low, which would make it pointless for me to bother." Lily rolled her eyes and Remus and Sirius sniggered again.

James rolled his own eyes, and plonked down on a red sofa, expecting Kate to join him. Instead, Kate was still standing in front of Lily, magical compact out, fixing her hair and make up.

To Lily, Sirius, Remus, and anyone else within hearing distances' annoyance, Kate spoke, "You know," she addressed Lily, "You should wear your hair down. You have high cheek bones, so hair on your face would counter that." She snapped the compact closed and sat own beside James.

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then murmured again to Sirius and Remus, "Is anyone else's brain slowly disintegrating as we speak?" They both laughed out loud and James glared some more.

"So," he leaned over to Kate, "Where were we?"

"Oh, Jamiekins, you really are a naughty boy, you know that?…" Kate giggled and let him kiss her.

"Kill me now!" Lily was mouthing to Sirius, who was pretending to gag. Remus just looked at the ceiling attempting not to laugh. All of them glanced over at James and Kate, and saw that the couple were currently involved in making out. They had just calmed down and would not have burst into laughter, had Enid not come jogging down the girl's staircase to see the pair rolling around on the couch.

She had grimaced and grabbed a pillow, chucking it at them as she said, "Get a room!"

Before she could stop herself, Lily had burst into laughter. James and Kate broke away from each other and Kate stood up saying, "I'll see you tomorrow Jamie; obviously I'm not wanted here!"

Sirius broke up into laughter too and called after her, "Sure took you long enough to figure that one out!" She had huffed out of the Portrait Hole and down the corridor before James had rounded on Lily.

"Just because no one will go out with _you_, Evans, doesn't mean you can ruin _my_ dates! At least someone _wants_ to go out with me!"

"James, I would have thought the date was ruined when she showed up!" Enid had jumped in, "And don't attack Lily; it was me who threw the pillow, and Sirius, Remus, and I laughed too, so yell at us!"

"I'll yell at who I bloody well want to, Enid! And it was Evans' fault that Kate left!"

"I'm sorry, I thought I would be doing you a favour. And Enid," Lily turned to her friend, "Thank you, but I'm used to Potter blaming me. I don't mind, really! And it sort of was my fault, because she was driving me crazy, and I just couldn't hold the laughter in anymore. Oh well. She shouldn't have been in here anyway…"

Before James could yell at Lily some more, Sirius had put in his two cents worth, "James, she really is a ditz! I've dated a few like her in my time, but she just takes the cake…hmmm, cake… Anyway, she drives me mad! She drives all of us mad! She even drives Remus mad, and that's saying something! She's so annoying!"

"I second that!" Enid cried plopping down next to James on the sofa.

"Well, I thank you all, but, it's MY business whom I go out with, and I would like it if you could jolly well SOD OFF! Especially you Evans!"

"Sorry _Jamie_, but I could care less who you date, and I was just laughing. You can't sue me for that! Thanks for the help Remus, but I think I'll try to finish this in my dorm."

James had stormed past her and up to his own dorm to sulk. Enid, Sirius, and Remus all agreed that that had been an interesting fight!

Now, James knew better than to bring his girlfriend to Griffindor Tower, so they spent most of their date time in the student study, where Kate drove a number of sixth and seventh years crazy instead.

Come Valentine's Day, Lily was to be found with Enid and Sirius at the Griffindor Table. They had been having an interesting conversation, due to the front page of the Daily Prophet. The article had read:

'_American Stripper Marries British Billionaire _

_British Mark Robinson proposed to his stripper girlfriend, San Fransico gal, Stacie Plummer, and the two are reportedly getting married at his old school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in the spring!'_

Below, there was a picture of a curvy blonde and a tall, dark man holding hands in front of, what looked like the Empire State Building.

Sirius had found this increasingly amusing, and started up a conversation with, "She's hot; wonder if I can impress her at the ceremony with my 'moves'…"

He promptly stood up and climbed onto the table, humming stripper music. Luckily it was early, so most of the staff and students had not yet surfaced. A few girls from the ends of the house tables started to cheer as Sirius whirled off his sweater in a stripping motion.

Enid cat called loudly and joined in with the chorus of 'The Stripper', by Joe Loss, which Sirius was now singing, and Lily ducked under the table so that no one could see her laughing.

Sirius was about to pull off his shirt (yes, he has problems), when Professor McGonagall demanded he put a stop to the nonsense and 'inappropriate behaviour'.

"Mr. Black! Get down off that table immediately! Twenty points from Griffindor! I'm ashamed of you!" She pulled him off the table to a chorus of boos and angry yells from the girls in the hall.

"Mins, you should never distract a guy when he's stripping! I mean, I can't disappoint all of my loving fans now, can I…" he waved superiorly to the group of girls clustered around them who swooned and giggled.

"It's _Professor McGonagall_, Black, and the Great Hall is not an appropriate place for such displays!" Professor McGonagall folded her arms and glared at Sirius, who smiled charmingly.

"Well then, I say, ON TO THE ENTRANCE HALL!" Sirius grinned, but added at the sight of McGonagall's expression, "It was a joke, Professor, a joke!"

"And Miss Evans, I'm surprised at you; letting him! And you, Miss Allows, _should_ be above such things. Now all of you may finish your breakfast quietly or clear off!" Professor McGonagall stormed out of the Hall, probably to inform Professor Dumbledore of the strange happenings at the Griffindor Table.

Sirius winked at the surrounding girls, and sat down to finish eating.

"That was…" Lily seemed lost for words. That or she was still laughing too hard to talk properly…

"Appealing? Hot? Original? Enchanting? Something that should be made a regular breakfast activity?" Sirius grinned and grabbed some bacon off Enid's plate.

"Pathetic?" Enid tried; "You need lessons!"

"Oh, so now you're a stripping expert, huh? Well, with any luck, that girls' going to agree, and offer a tutoring session," he said with his mouthful of Enid's bacon.

"YOU ATE MY BACON!"

"Well, well, well, Padfoot, what's this I hear about you performing for us?" James strolled into the Great Hall with Lupin.

"News travels fast 'round here; shows how many sad people have no lives and nothing better to do than gossip about me… What am I saying?" Sirius commented before answering his friend, "Dude, look at this. I was just practicing my moves to impress her with when she comes."

"Ahh, but I can out-strip you any day; watch!" skimming the article quickly, James climbed onto the other side of the table and started humming his own stripper music. Enid and Lily exchanged glances and ducked under the table simultaneously. It was amazing how James and Sirius' minds worked just the same way!

Sirius, not wanting to be left out of any of the action, followed suit, and jumped back onto the table. The girls in the Hall started cheering again as Sirius and James took off their shirts and flung them at each other, causing each one to topple off the table and land on the floor beside Lily and Enid.

"Graceful," Lily scoffed, "Ugh, topless Potter! I think I just lost my appetite."

"Really?" Sirius asked, grinning at James, "Does this mean I can have your bacon?"

Lily rolled her eyes and Enid kicked him. When he exclaimed, Enid told him that it was payback for his stealing _her_ bacon.

"What the hell are you four doing?" Christine put her head under the table to see them all huddled there. "Cause it looks dirty from where we're sitting."

Remus just laughed his head off (and Sirius took it as an opportunity to steal _his_ bacon).

"Nothing," James said quickly, pulling his shirt back over his head (much to the disappointment of onlookers).

"You stole my bacon!" could be heard in the background.

"Sure, and that would explain why you and Sirius are under a table with two pretty, and not to mention single, girls, with no shirts on, on Valentine's Day?" Christine raised an eyebrow.

"I'd rather like to hear the answer to this, myself," Lydia arrived behind Christine, one eyebrow raised at her boyfriend, who was now sitting happily (and shirtless), munching on other people's bacon.

"Dude, if we were gonna screw on Valentine's Day, we would have the sense not to do it in the middle of the Great Hall!" Sirius gave them withering stares as if to say, 'duh'.

Lydia raised her other eyebrow, and Sirius got up and gave her a hug and a kiss. James grinned, "Yeah; we'd choose somewhere like… under the swing set!"

"Oh, yeah! I forgot about that. But it does hit you in the head sometimes if you move too suddenly… JOKING!" Sirius caught the look on Lydia's face and kissed her again.

"Put on a shirt!" Lydia said as she kissed him back.

"As you wish!" Sirius pointed his wand at his discarded shirt, and was wearing it within seconds, "Happy Valentine's Day!" He pulled out a small velvet box and pressed it into her hand.

"Thanks sweetie. Your present's upstairs though. Oh, it's gorgeous!" Lydia was holding up a beautiful silver ring, set with what looked like a diamond. She kissed Sirius shamelessly, and Remus and Enid 'awwwed'.

"OOOoo… Lemme see!" Lily climbed out from under the table, making sure to step on James' hand (many swearwords…) as she did so. "OOO-ooHHH! Pretty!"

"Yeah. Nice!" Christine examined the ring on Lydia's finger.

"Yoohooooo… Jamiekins!" Lily winced as Kate came skipping into view.

"Hey sweetheart!" James walked around the table to her and pulled out his own velvet box. Kate grabbed it and pulled out a gold necklace with a diamond (possibly fake) K pendant. Kate thanked him and kissed him, but then studied it hard, "Honey, why does it have a K on it?"

"Oh, it… Just came like that," James replied, arching his eyebrow slightly.

Lily covered her face with her hands and tried not to laugh. Remus whispered, "I think I know where you were coming from when you said, 'who else can feel their brain evapourating as we speak?'."

"Yeah, she makes _my_ head hurt." Lydia breathed, shaking her head.

"Oh well," Kate shrugged, "Wanna go make out?"

"Sure," James nodded and glared over his shoulder at his friends.

"Have fun!" Peter said sarcastically when he passed them. "What've I missed?"

Everyone laughed, and Lydia did a spot-on impersonation of Kate high pitched giggle, "Wanna go make out?" to Sirius.

"Sure!" Sirius said, before realizing that she had been joking. He looked slightly disappointed, so Lydia rolled her eyes and led him out of the Hall.

"So Remus, where's Marrella?" Peter winked at his friend.

"We're meeting in Hogsmeade at five, but I should try to find her now. Thanks Pete!" Remus got up from the table, and waltzed off to try and find his girlfriend.

The 'gang' met up again at lunch, and had just started, when some afternoon owls swooped down upon them. Christine had received some chocolates from some (stupid) guy back home, and proceeded to throw the sweets away (not really, because Sirius rescued and ate them…). Enid had got a few Valentine's from some random Ravenclaw guys, and, to Sirius' anger, Lydia had received her fair share from Griffindors, Hufflepuffs, _and_ Ravenclaws. She wisely refused to give Sirius the names of the guys, for their own protection (though this didn't work so well as she had expected, because he just stole them from her bag later and read them all).

"AAAHHH!" Sirius screamed and ducked under the table as his plate was pelted with pink envelopes-upon-pink envelopes (he moaned about the loss of his bacon). Lydia crossed her arms and skimmed a few, occasionally muttering things like, 'okay, he's never seeing her again', and 'she's officially on my hit list'. Sirius grinned sheepishly and read a few by himself, occasionally saying, 'woah! I'm frightened', or 'okay, who sends Valentine's that say date me or I'll kill your girlfriend'? I don't even know that person!" Lydia drew away from the envelopes, looking slightly frightened. Sirius put an arm around her and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, I won't let any creepy stalker people kill you!"

James laughed and dived for shelter as he was showered in other pink envelopes, addressed to him. He and Sirius managed to cover about a quarter of the Griffindor table with their 'fan mail'. Enid shoved her own into her bag and dived into their piles, laughing and reading some aloud ('marry me Sirius', and 'meet me on the Astronomy Tower tonight, James, if you know what I mean…').

'_Remus, I love you! Please be mine forever more!'_

Remus jumped when one of the howlers exploded and happened to be for him. Christine laughed at him. Marrella raised an eyebrow and giggled; it hadn't been from her.

"Ouch! Potter, keep your 'fan mail' away from me!" Lily rubbed her head when a fresh shower of Valentine's landed on her head. Enid reached over and grabbed a few. "Hey, Lils, these aren't for James; they're for you! Hey, one of the Slytherins has pledged his undying love for you!"

"I wondered why Mike Warrington was getting the living daylights beat out of 'im this morning. That's disgusting!" Sirius laughed. Lily wrinkled her nose in agreement.

"Eeww… Slytherins?"

"Don't worry, only one," Enid handed it to Lily. Lily put it in the reject pile (Sirius and James had started it when ugly, or Slytherin girls had sent them cards).

"Lemme see yours; mine are boring," Sirius whined, grabbing a few of Lily's. She objected, but he held her at arms length and read them aloud.

"_Lily, dearest, please be mine?_" Sirius laughed.

Lily swore at him and hexed him, grabbing back the cards. She read them silently and ripped most of them up (ones from Slytherins, first years, la-ti-da-ti-da…).

She picked up the last one and poked it (one of them had contained something that flew out at her). It seemed harmless. Lily slit it open and read it silently. She blushed and smiled to herself.

Sirius pointed this out to James, who snatched it from her and started to read it aloud.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat while Sirius pinned her down, "'_Lily Evans, I've noticed you. You spend most of your time in the library, which I think is great. I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen, and would be honoured if you would consent to be my date at Hogsmeade this evening. Yours Truly, Carter Hall._' What a sappy git!"

Lily's face was bright red when Sirius finally let go of her. She pulled out her wand and was about to curse them into oblivion, when Snape popped up behind James, doubled over with laughter.

"Someone sent the mudblood a Valentine? I'm shocked!"

"Get out of here, Snivelly!" James and Sirius snarled at the same time. Lily just put her wand away and snapped, "I don't care if he's here. In fact, I'd rather he was here permanently, than either of you."

She grabbed her Valentine, stuffed it into her pocket, and stormed off. Enid aimed a quick curse at Snape before following Lily into the Entrance Hall. She could hear cheers and yells from the Hall she had just left, and guessed that the Marauders were starting a fight with the Slytherins.

"Lily, where did you go?" Enid whispered to herself looking around frantically. Then she remembered the swing set.

Sure enough, when Enid pushed through the double doors and out into the snow-covered grounds, she found and followed a path of melted snow to a secluded spot by the lake. It was quite a big secluded spot, with a white gazebo on one side, and a wooden swing set on the other.

It had been an age since Enid had visited their swing set. Last June, actually. It had been right after their last exam, and she, Lily, Lydia, Sirius, and James had all come down there to relax. Then, both the gazebo and the swing set, had had flowers growing all over them, but now, they were covered with snow instead.

Enid started down the slope to the swing set, where she heard music. A Robbie Williams song was blaring from Lily's wand, and Lily was in the gazebo, dancing. Enid just stood and watched her for a few minutes, amazed at the grace which seemed to be flowing from Lily.

Lily was wearing her point shoes, and she was in a world of her own. She just let the music carry her away, not knowing or caring about anything except the music. The floating feeling she got when she danced, reminded her of her first kiss with James, but she tried not to think about that. Her world was spinning (well, she _was_ pirouetting, but…), and everything was right in it. Until she saw Enid, leaning against the swing set, smiling.

"How come you never told me you were so good!" Enid followed the melted path to the gazebo stairs and climbed them.

"I'm not," Lily sat down and untied the ribbons on her shoes.

"I may not be a dancer, but as an audience member, I can tell you that you're pretty damn somethin'!" Enid dropped her bag and sat down beside Lily.

Lily slipped off her shoes, tapped them with her wand, and they turned back into her black school shoes. "Thanks. I guess I never talk about my dancing to anyone except my dance teachers. I never dance in front of people, except at recitals."

"Well you should, because you look amazing! You must be doing _something_ right! Anyway, I came out to say that the guys were just joking around in there. Just being guys."

"I know. I just got a bit fed up."

"Well that's because you need to get a life. You can't just be about schoolwork; that's no way to live! I say, on this beautiful Saturday afternoon, you should do something fun." Enid's eyes twinkled.

"Like feed Potter to the Giant Squid?" Lily suggested hopefully.

Enid shook her head and expanded: "You should take that guy up on his offer to go to Hogsmeade. It would be good for you."

"I dunno about that Enid. I'm not that good at dates…"

"Well, if you're worried about that, a Ravenclaw Sixth Year, like Carter Hall, asked me out for tonight. We could do a double date!"

Lily bit her lip and Enid whined at her, "Come on, I'll be there, unless you get along really well with Carter Hall, in which case, I'll clear off with my date. Only if you want me to though. Anyway, it'll be fun!"

"Fine," Lily conceded, "But I'm not wearing anything slutty, and we're not going to go anywhere romantic. Let's go write back to the guys."

"Yay! Now, don't forget to mention that you want to double date with me and Lynn Jones. See ya." Enid shouldered her bag and jumped down the steps into the snow. She called over her shoulder as she bounded away, "Meet me at 3:00 in the Common Room to get ready!"

It was five minutes to three and Enid was running a little late (not all that unusual). She was supposed to meet Lily, return and borrow library books for various essays, get something to eat (now, she could have done this at any time, but she was really hungry), _and_ make Lily and James realize that they were madly in love with each other (the deadline for this one was not three o'clock; it was more of a long term project, which not many people were in on).

She was just around the corner from the library, running, when she turned the corner too sharply, and ran (literally) right into someone.

"Sorry Peter! I wasn't watching and I'm in a hurry," Enid blurted out, stooping hurriedly to help Wormtail collect his books again. She flipped one over and made a face, "Peter, why in the Hell do you have all of these Transfiguration books? We didn't get any homework from McGonagall yesterday!"

"I'm having trouble with some stuff," Peter scowled, "So I thought I'd look some stuff up. Not a crime, is it?"

Enid flicked to a page Peter had book marked and gave him a funny look, "Why are you looking up Animagi? Is there something goin' on that I don't know about?"

Peter snatched his book back and stuttered, "I have to go. See you later!"

Enid raised an eyebrow at his retreating back and recommenced her mad dash into the library.

"Stop running this instant!" a shrill voice stopped Enid dead in her tracks. She had been sprinting down the Potions aisle when Madam Pince had appeared at her side.

"Sorry Madam Pince, I just have to find 'A Guide to Beezor Juices, From the North'. Do you happen to know where it is?"

"Here. Now return your book and leave!" Madam Pince produced a dog-eared, moth-eaten old book and held out a hand for Enid's book.

Shaking her head, Enid said, "How did you… What… Did I…?"

"The book!"

"Here, thanks. I…"

"Out!" The librarian pointed her out of the door before she could even finish her sentence. In fact, she had pushed Enid out of the library so fast, that Enid crashed straight into someone else. The pale-faced librarian just frowned and slammed the door to the library behind her.

"Sorry… Who are you?" Enid groaned until Lily came into focus. "Lils, weren't we supposed to be meeting in the Common Room some time now?"

"Well, yes and no, Enid. See, you said three, which, in Enid speak, means ten past. And I was right, wasn't I?" Lily helped Enid to her feet and smiled.

"You know me too well," Enid laughed.

The two girls then proceeded to the kitchens to get Enid a snack, and finally took the route up to Griffindor Tower. As they rounded a corner and started for the Portrait Hole, a chorus of angry yells filled their ears:

"_You slut! You cheated on me!"_

"_Ex-cuse me! I hugged him! How the Hell is that cheating?"_

"Whoa! Who d'you think that is, Enid?" Lily bit her lip.

"I dunno. It sounds a bit like Sirius, but let's go see."

Lily and Enid crept to the Fat Lady's Portrait and pushed it open a crack. "Oh no!" Lily breathed when she saw Sirius and Lydia standing and screaming at each other.

"_He's one of the one's who sent you a Valentine! Are you seriously trying to tell me that you're not secretly dating!"_

"_Yes! Sirius, I was hugging him because he needed a hug! You know that village that we read about in the 'Afternoon Prophet'? Well, his family lived there, and the Death Eaters killed them all! I was comforting him! I can't believe you; you don't trust me!' Lydia cried._

"Back away slowly," Lily advised Enid and a random second year quietly. The second year did as she was told, then turned and ran in the opposite direction. Enid, however, said, "Aren't we going to listen? I need to find out what happens; like a soap opera!"

"Totally," Lily agreed, but she motioned to a small room, hidden by a tapestry of Cassandra the Great. "But I don't want to watch, so let's listen from in here. I… Ahhh!"

"Shhh!" a hand clapped over her mouth. She had tripped through the tapestry and landed in someone's strong arms.

"James! It's a good job you have Seeker reflexes; otherwise Lily would have crashed right into the wall. Ouch!" Enid shrugged and sank down onto the floor, pressing her ear against the concrete wall.

"Get off me Potter! Thank you! Now, what happened with them?" Lily jabbed a finger in the direction of the Common Room.

James dropped Lily, who swore at him, and explained. "Lydia was hugging and 'comforting' that sixth year Griffindor, who sent her a Valentine earlier. Sirius saw and got all jealous. So far, he's made the most wrong moves in the fight."

"Oh. But Lydia was just…"

"Shut it!" Enid hissed in Lily and James' direction. They could hear;

"_I don't believe you!"_

"_Stop being so jealous, Sirius! It was just a hug!"_

"_I think I have a right to be mad when my girlfriend is getting 'chummy' with a guy who fancies her!"_

"Oh, ouch Sirius; wrong move!" Enid grimaced.

"_Oh really!" Lydia's voice rose, "So I'm not allowed to have friends?"_

"_Lydia, you know that's not what I…"_

"_Uh huh! I hug a guy who's family has just been murdered, and you yell at me, but I haven't yelled at you once! Not for your constant flirting! Or your stripping in the Great Hall! Or, anything! So this really isn't fair, Sirius! You have no idea how much all of that hurts me, but I don't get mad, because I trust you!"_

"_Lydia, I…" Sirius started, his voice softer now._

"_Save it! And here's your stupid ring back!" There was a clinking sound, like Lydia had just thrown the ring at the wall. "I hate you, Sirius Black!" _Then there were only the sounds of footsteps running from the room.

_Author's Note: WHOA WHOA WHOA CLIFF HANGER! Did you like it? Hope so. I'm evil and I love it! So, the next chapter is called 'Blooming Flowers and Wilting relationships (Oh, and hopefully the snowballs that I forgot to put in last time)'. Long weird names are my new 'thing'… Hehe. So, here come the thank-y-yous:_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… This isn't really ASAP, but it's updated, nonetheless. So, hope you enjoyed the picnics. Random picnics in the rain… Lol. Glad you like the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!_

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… Sorry to hear that. What was your nightmare? I'm glad you 'hated' it. That makes me happy. I hope your nightmare gets better. Thanks for reviewing!_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… Who cares? The important thing is that you did review! Yay! And I will keep updating unless I get abducted by aliens and they feed me my own computer. Or they feed my computer to a flesh-eating duck… Yeah… So… Thanks for reviewing!_

_Crush.Pink.Summer.: My thirteenth reviewer… Thanks for the support. gives you candy anyway So, yeah, and I like that you like the story. Thanks for reviewing!_

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… Well, I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you liked this one too. Thanks for reviewing!_

_starsword: My seventeenth reviewer… Of course you can ask questions! What is an author, if not a question-answerer? So, um, James is being all cocky and git-ty, so Lily hates him again, and he likes her, but is in denial because she rejected him… Get it? Meh, well, who needs to understand the twisted minds of weird people (cough Marina cough)? So, yeah. Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer… You know too much… Now I must turn your rusty spanner against you! Hehe. So, anyway, don't kill David Beckham because… Well, just don't kill him for any reason… Kill Britney Spears instead (firstly because she is the spawn of Satan, and secondly because she was heartless enough to name her poor, poor, poor kid Preston Micheal Spears Federline – eewww – and check out the initials – hehe). So anyway again, I am promising myself to make Christine more of a character, because I quite like her, and also because of something else… Whoa, mystery… Thanks for reviewing! _

_Rebecca Victoria Rushton: My nineteenth reviewer… Oops, sorry, it's Saturday, but I'm close, so don't kill yourself. Hope you like the chapter and that your DeathEater friends haven't figured out where I live yet. Thanks for reviewing! _

_vegitarians ROCK__: My twenty-first reviewer… Okay, I think this is vegetarians will rule but I am very confused. Oh well. Sorry if I have this wrong. Glad you like my story. Thanks for reviewing!_

_K McNeely: My twenty-fourth reviewer… Drag on in a good way? Or not? Ah well… I had lots of fun with the whole causing James pain. Is that a good thing? And definitely lol for the strip poker. STRIP POKER RULES! Oops… I shouldn't admit that, should I? Thanks for reviewing!_

_  
GODAMMIT that took a long-ish time. I'm sad now. Only ten of my lovely reviewers reviewed. Just for that, I think I'll take an extra long time to update. And that's a pity because (I think) the next chapter is funny. At least, I hope so… So, that being said, please review! You know you want to… I love you all. You guys rock! Purple flying cows and Bubbles!_

_-Kat_ _  
_


	15. Blooming Flowers and Wilting Relation

_Author's Note: Okay I should update more often. See I would have but I was on this evil field trip with my school and then my sister came back from Uni (University; duh) for Thanksgiving so not much time to write or update. I procrastinated with my updating and writing with reading fics, which I shouldn't do… Bad Kat; bad, bad Kat! Oh well… Sorry about where I ended it last. If anyone gets the title of this chapter, tell me and I will give you a cookie. Hehe. So, here's a long chapter to make up for the wait. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Chapter fifteen – Blooming Flowers and Wilting relationships (Oh, and hopefully the snowballs that I forgot to put in last time)

"Did you guys hear the whole thing?" a tearful Lydia asked her friends, who had followed her up the stairs to their room a few minutes after the scene in the Common Room.

Lily nodded sheepishly and slung an arm around her Lydia's slender shoulders.

"You okay?" Enid patted Lydia's back and sat on the bed.

"Yeah. I'll be fine, I guess." Lydia wiped away a tear and sniffed loudly.

"What would make you feel better?" Lily whispered sympathetically.

"ICE-CREAM!" Christine yelled loudly. She was standing in the doorway clutching a huge tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice-cream (we're talking the Mount Everest of ice-cream tubs here!).

Lydia smiled when Christine pushed the tub towards her, four spoons at the ready.

"How did you…?"

"Friends have special links between their minds…" Christine winked knowingly, "That, and the fact that the entire student body knows about it. I figured that now would be as good a time as any to wallow in self-pity, anger, bitterness, and ice-cream!"

"You rock; gimme!" Lydia lunged for the ice-cream and shoved a large spoonful into her mouth. The other girls hesitated for a few seconds, then dug in.

——————

Back in the boys' dorms, the fifth year room was silent. Remus was absentmindedly chewing a fingernail, Peter was quietly making his way through their stash of cauldron cakes, and James was staring out of the window at the sky. Sirius was lying on his bed and bouncing an enchanted ball angrily against the ceiling.

"She totally over-reacted. I mean, I didn't want to break up…"

"Come on Padfoot! You called her a slut, yelled at her, _and_ accused her of cheating," James burst out testily, "What did you expect her to do; hug you and apologize!"

Sirius stopped bouncing his ball abruptly and sat up, mouth open to retort scathingly. Remus paused in his finger chewing to stamp out any signs of an argument.

"Padfoot, do you really think that she has no reason to be mad? Do you want to get back together with her? Because sitting on your ass, staring at our ceiling isn't going to help much in that department!"

"Yeah, I do want to get back together, I think," Sirius slumped back onto his pillow.

"Well, I suggest that you figure that out before you try anything!" Remus resumed his finger chewing.

"But what if she doesn't want to?" Sirius frowned.

Then Peter spoke up for the first time, "I think Padfoot is better off without her. I mean, isn't being single better? Because then you can go out with as many girls as you want, if you can get them, without feeling obliged to any one of them, plus, did I mention the 'as many girls as you want' part? Girlfriends are just trouble waiting to happen, if you ask me!"

James and Remus raised their eyebrows at Peter who, they so kindly reminded him, had never actually had a girlfriend to compare being single to. Then, both started into tirades about their own girlfriends' upsides (James: "The kissing!", Remus: "We like a lot of the same books."; James: "The kissing!", Remus: "She's easy to talk to."; James: "Did I mention the kissing!", Remus: Oh, yeah, the kissing's not bad either!").

Sirius chuckled at his friends and resumed his ball bouncing/ thinking.

———————

"Okay, does anyone else feel sick, or is it just me?" Christine massaged her full stomach and vanished the almost-empty tub of ice-cream. Lydia sniffed slightly and groaned in agreement.

Lily and Enid checked their watches and exchanged nervous glances. Their dates were in Hogsmeade for five o'clock, which gave them only one hour to get ready, _and_ get to Hogsmeade. They also had the unappealing task of telling Lydia that they were ditching her.

"Lyds," Enid started, "I hate to have to say this, but I convinced Lily to go on a date with one of the guys who sent her a Valentine."

"Oh, cool. When is it?" Lydia tried to smile, but ended up choking on a sob instead. Lily half-glanced at Enid and blurted out, "Tonight. And Enid made it a double date because I asked her to, because I didn't want to go alone, but we can totally cancel if you want!"

"Oh no, it's fine. Really. Just because Sir… we broke up, doesn't mean you guys all have to become Nuns or Amish. You can date when you want. I do want details when you get back though," Lydia smiled at her friends through tear-glazed eyes.

Christine asked who their dates were and offered to stick with Lydia, who gratefully took her up on the offer. Then, to cheer Lydia up some more, Lily and Enid suggested that Lydia help them get ready for their dates. Lydia grinned and found her make up kit.

"Where are you going Prongs-y?" Sirius jumped up and followed James to the bathroom (don't worry; James is just fixing his hair).

"I have a date," James replied simply.

"Cool. With who?"

"My girlfriend - duh!"

"Oh," Sirius handed a comb to James, who discarded it immediately, and replaced with his fingers, "Where you meeting up?"

"Hogsmeade," James gave his hair a final ruffle, "You should come. You need to get out and do _something_, so why don't you pick a girl and double up with me and Kate?"

"But," Sirius followed James back down to their dormitory, "The girl that I want to pick just dumped me."

"So I'll pick for you. Clara Peggins (that hot Hufflepuff) fancies you; just find her and ask her out."

"But doesn't that seem kind of disrespectful to Lydia?"

"Fine! I'll ask her out for you, because you _need_ to get out of here!" James grabbed his black sweater and threw a grey one at Sirius saying, 'Put this on, do something with your hair (comb it), and meet me outside in ten. I'm gonna go get you a date!"

Sirius tried to object, but James shut the door in his face and left.

———————

Lily studied her reflection doubtfully in the mirror. She was wearing a fitted black tank and low-rise, tight, dark blue jeans. Her red hair was back in a messy bun. Enid stood beside her in a navy, one-strap top and light blue jeans. To tell the truth, they both looked fantastic.

Lydia inspected both once more and, upon deciding that they were up to par, hugged each before sending them away and making them promise her details of their evening upon their return. Christine called "have fun!" after her friends as they made their way carefully through the messy room. Enid waved in response as she tripped over the curling iron that Lydia had used to curl her long hair.

"Hi Lily," a tall boy with sandy hair addressed the two girls, now carefully making their way through the crowded street towards him.

_(A/N: The students seem to go to Hogsmeade a lot in this story. When in third year and above, they are allowed to go into town at Hogsmeade weekends, and any holiday weekends, but most are too busy with schoolwork usually. That's my excuse, anyway…). _

"Carter, hi!" Lily smiled nervously at him. "And you must be Lynn?"

A tanned guy of sixteen was lingering beside Carter Hall. He nodded at Lily and grinned at Enid, who grinned back and asked, "So, where're we goin'?"

Carter tore his eyes away from Lily long enough to say, "Dinner, if you guys haven't eaten yet, and then, we thought we could go to watch a couple of the guys play Quidditch in the square, if you want to…" He turned his gaze back to his date, who blushed.

"Sounds good; I'm starved," Lily smiled again, earning a self-satisfied stare from Enid, who remembered the tub of ice-cream from earlier.

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Carter offered Lily an arm, "Let's go!"

The four teens headed down the road and turned a corner, only to hit a dead end. Lily and Enid were exchanging confused glances when Lynn and Carter pulled out their wands. Lily took a step back from Carter and Enid stepped protectively in front of her friend.

"It's okay, we just need our wands to get into the restaurant," Carter said softly to Lily, who relaxed and smiled again. Lynn lifted his wand and tapped a few stones in a pattern. A little box and window appeared and they could see someone situated on the other side, speaking into his side of the little box:

"How can I help you?" the grumpy-looking man drawled.

"Umm, we have reservations for four under Hall, Carter, and Jones, Lynn," Lynn pulled out his student ID card and slid it through a hole that had just appeared at the bottom of the window. Carter did the same.

"This way please," the man stood up and a door knob appeared just left of where he had been sitting.

"Wow! I never knew about this place!" Lily followed Carter through the door.

Enid shrugged and followed them in, saying, "Even I didn't know about it. If it's that well hidden, firstly, _why_ is it that well hidden, and secondly, how did _you two_ find it?"

"It's more a 'word-of-mouth' restaurant," Carter replied, "They like to keep it private."

"This one is yours." Their server said, pointing to a large wooden table, covered by a frilly pink tablecloth.

"They make most of their money from the holidays," Carter informed Enid and Lily in a whisper.

"What's it called?" Enid asked Lynn, who replied, "The Datewave. Corny name, but it has good food and is pretty popular for dates."

"Gag me," Enid wrinkled her nose at the pink tablecloth. Their server left them with menus and a waitress to take their drink orders. The waitress was wearing a pink apron and looked very uncomfortable. Her nametag read 'Kissable-Katie' and she looked ready to kill the first person who called her by the restaurant name. She had a piercing on her nose, and several on her ear, was wearing rebellious leather boots with the heart-covered pink tights, and had spiked black and purple hair. Enid and Lily raised their eyebrows when she mumbled, "What d'ya want?"

"Hi _Katie_, nice nametag." Carter bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"Go die!" she hissed. Lily and Enid leaned slightly away from the two and gave them funny looks. Lynn filled them in by informing them that their 'gracious' waitress was none other than Carter's rebel Slytherin sister, whom they liked to annoy when they got the chance. Enid laughed and 'Katie' turned to her, "You got a problem, one-strap?"

"Is that the best you can do for an insult, wannabe punk?"

"Bite me!"

"You just make me!"

"I will, you…"

"Katie, is there a problem here?" the server-man popped up beside them.

"No _sir_." Katie rolled her eyes. Enid laughed, but quickly turned it into hacking cough, when she saw the look on the waitress's face.

"Four waters for now, please," Carter dismissed his sister. He then turned to Enid and held out a hand for her to high five. "Dude, that was good! You totally dissed her."

"Sorry. I wouldn't have, but she made it personal." Enid grinned and sat down at the pink table. Lily followed suit.

"We've never got along well, especially since she left home, and now, we enjoy tormenting each other. It sounds mean, but you've never had to put up with her." Carter sighed.

"I totally understand," Lily smiled, "I have a sister at home who thinks I'm a freak, and has been really mean to me ever since I started coming here."

"Well, at least she can't hex you," Carter frowned.

"I guess that's true," Lily laughed.

"So, I hear you're a dancer," he said.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Enid. That and it's obvious because you're moving in time to the music."

"Well, they play good music here. Not the kind of thing you'd expect on Valentine's day. You know; not mushy love songs…"Lily continued to tap her foot in time with the music.

"Here are your drinks. What d'you want to eat?" Katie was back, chewing her gum impatiently.

"Penne Romanoff for me." Carter smiled sarcastically at his sister, who made a rude hand gesture in response.

"What's that?" Enid asked.

Carter explained, "Penne pasta in a rum sauce. Really good."

"OOhhh, yummy! What were the specials again?"

"Tomato soup, steak and ale pie, and rhubarb crumble." Katie snarled.

"I'll have the Penne Romanoff too," Lynn interrupted.

"Soup sounds good. What kinds do you serve?" Lily asked politely.

"Oh, well aren't you just 'Miss Innocence'? I'm surprised at you, brother dear, and I bet she's a mudblood as well?" Katie gave Lily a nasty look and smiled sarcastically back at her brother. Enid stood up at this insult and so did Carter.

"Katie, that's out of line! Leave her alone."

"I'll be back with your main courses in a minute," she smirked and trotted off.

"I'm sorry about that Lily. She's really evil. Just ignore her." Carter scowled after his sister.

"It's fine," Lily soothed him.

Enid looked like she wanted to go after Katie, but Lily gripped her arm and made her sit back down.

_(A/N: For the record, _Katie_ is not _Kate OrrKate Orr _is a completely different person, though we don't like either – I did have fun writing them both, heh heh. _Katie_ went to Hogwarts and graduated last year – from Slytherin, of course – so she is two years older than Carter). _

"So, do what kind of things do you read?" Carter sat down.

"Anything, really. Mainly muggle books, I guess, but (I know it's weird), I like reading random textbooks too. It gives me more information than I have, especially since I come from a muggle family. What about you?"

"That's cool. I read textbooks here and there, mainly to learn new spells and charms, but I usually stick to _Quidditch Illustrated_ and some muggle books. See, my parents always thought it important for my sister – you can see how that turned out - and me to get educations in the muggle ways and literature as well as a Hogwarts education. I know about little things like televisions and computers though." Carter flashed Lily a smile and she blushed again.

"You know about films? They're hardly 'little' things; they're huge at home! I love them. Have you seen any classics?"

"I know some things. I've seen a few with that guy in them. He has black hair and was in a 60's movie with a blonde girl. It was a musical." Carter bit his lip, trying to remember the name.

"60's film…" Lily pondered. Enid grinned at Carter, "You've seen Grease? With John Travolta and Olivia Newton John?"

"Sounds familiar, yeah." Carter nodded. Lynn and Carter laughed at the girls, who had caught each other's eyes and burst out singing,

'_Go Greased Lightnin', you're burning up a quarter a mile, Greased Lightnin', Go Greased Lightnin'!'_

Lily stopped singing only when someone in the restaurant caught her eye. Someone with dark brown hair and a familiar grey sweater…

"What is he doing here!"

"What is who doing here?" Enid followed Lily's gaze. "Noooo… He's on a date! That little…"

"What's going on?" Lynn and Carter both looked confused.

"We'll be right back Carter. I'll explain in a minute." Lily and Enid stood up concurrently and stalked away from their table. The restaurant was busy and crowded, so Sirius didn't see them coming in time to hide himself.

"What the Hell…"

"What are you doing here! And on a date no less!"

"You little punk-ass…"

"What are you two doing here?" Sirius spluttered.

"We have dates." Lily answered.

"_You_ have _dates_!" two surprised voices came from the corner of the booths.

"Don't sound so surprised," Enid snapped. Lily groaned when she saw James and Kate (Kate, not Katie) emerging from their corner, both rather disheveled looking.

"What?" James raised an eyebrow in Lily's direction.

"Nothing except that this is a public place!" Lily snapped at James, who rolled his eyes, and then started up again, "Sirius, why the Hell are you on a date less than three hours after you and Lydia broke up! Shouldn't you be sitting in your room, moping about and eating a Mount Everest sized ice-cream tub? That's what we just did, and we weren't the idiots who just broke up!"

"Don't mention ice-cream!" Enid moaned, then turned back to Sirius. "Lydia's really upset. Why are you here?"

"I was all set to mope, but James told me I needed to do something, so he made me come with Clara Peggins. If it makes you feel better, I'm having a horrible time; she's almost as bad to talk to as Cratehead, and I'm not in the mood for kissing. Plus, I can't stop thinking about Lydia!" Sirius rested his head on his hand.

Lily couldn't help feeling slightly sorry for him. "But, you could have said no… Lydia's going to be so hurt!"

"You can't tell her! I don't want to be here, in fact, I want one of you to get me out of this. Please pretend I asked one of you out?"

"Hey, people, we're trying to have a date here!" Kate interrupted, and resumed her snogging James.

"No. It's your fault and I don't feel sorry for you in the least! Come on Lily! You don't want to keep Carter waiting." Enid glared at Sirius once more before storming back to their table. At the mention of Carter's name, Sirius lifted his head and James pulled away from Kate. Both spat, "Carter? Carter Hall?"

Lily nodded, shrugged, and followed Enid. Carter greeted her, looking slightly frightened, "Hey, what was that?"

"Oh, just Sirius being a jerk. Doesn't matter. Sorry to keep you waiting."

"Sirius Black? He's here?" Carter raised his eyebrows. "What did he do to offend?"

"He kind of…" Lily started, but Enid snarled, "He and our best friend just (we're talking three hours ago) broke up, and he's here on a date because he listened to his stupid friend's advice! Moron!"

"Whoa! Harsh!" Lynn shook his head.

"Yeah. Oh, is this my soup?" Lily looked questioningly at a bowl of green sludge in front of her.

"This is Katie's idea of a joke. Here." Carter pulled out his wand and waved it at the bowl. The green mush turned to a hot vegetable soup.

"Thanks. You'll have to show me how to do that sometime. So, anyway, when's the game?"

"It's in about half an hour."

"Cool. Who's playing?" Lily blew on a spoonful of her yummy soup.

"Well, usually, it's just whoever turns up, but the regulars are myself, Lynn, Frank Longbottom, and even Lucius Malfoy. We just go down there every Saturday, isn't that right Lynn?" Carter looked expectantly over at Lynn, who had not heard, since he and Enid were kissing quietly. Lily and Carter looked at each other, and had to hide their laughter quickly, in their napkins.

A few minutes later, the portly manager conjured a small stage in the middle of the restaurant and announced that it was 'karaoke time'! Lynn and Carter groaned, but Enid and Lily grinned.

"You wanna go sing?" Lily asked Carter playfully. He shook his head, "No way! You could not pay me enough to do that. It sucks when people who suck sing, because you have to listen to it!"

"AAwww… Come on! You know you want to…"

"No! Karaoke I do not do! Too many bad experiences!"

Lily laughed and went back to her soup.

————

After everyone had finished eating (and Carter and Lynn had settled the considerably large bill), Lily and Enid groaning at the idea of seconds, Carter suggested that it was time to head down to the match. Lynn brought both girls their coats, and each date helped them into them. AAAwwww…

"So, where is the match?" Enid inquired casually.

"Down in the square. Just down this road and to the left," Lynn answered her.

The four strolled leisurely down the street and turned the corner, only to find themselves facing yet another dead end. Lily shuddered and Enid clasped her hand soothingly. Carter and Lynn both tapped this wall, just like they had the other, and a wooden slot appeared. A high, squeaky voice spoke through it, saying "State your names and business here!"

Carter said something that sounded like, "KERPLUNKIT," and Lynn gave their names. The person on the other side of the slot sighed a sigh of relief, and opened the door for them.

"Carter, Lynn, you guys gave me such a fright!" The young, freckled boy said. Lily recognized him at once as Albert? Longbottom, Frank's brother.

"What's with the extra-tight security, man? What happened?" Carter looked concerned as he and Lynn led the girls through the door. They were faced with an open-air stadium, half-full of cheering people.

Albert ran a hand through his hair (making Lily uncomfortable because it was something James always did) and sealed the door behind them. He then replied, "Dunno! The ministry had a threat on this area or something. They've agreed to let us play here as long as we use the extra security measures. Speaking of, we need you to play."

Carter stopped walking, "I can't; I'm on a date."

Alfred stopped walking also, "But the blue team's gonna get creamed! You have to play!"

"But… Lily," Carter faced Lily apologetically, "Would you mind terribly if I…?"

"Go ahead. Now I'll have someone to cheer for," Lily grinned. Carter hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. She just smiled.

Enid had to work hard to keep a straight face, but said, 'Well, why don't we go and find the good seats?" She grabbed Lynn's hand and nodded for Lily to follow.

The party of three now climbed the squeaky bleacher stands and found an empty space. It was actually an empty row, except for a couple making out at the end of it. Lily slid down the row beside them, recognized them, and groaned, "Okay, someone's switching seats with me!"

Enid glanced past her to see who it was, and raised her eyebrows, "Oy!" she leaned over and startled them by poking them, "What are you; stalking us? Plus, again with the 'this is a public place' thing!"

Kate condescendingly snapped, "Mind your own business!" and Enid snorted with laughter. Lily stood up and switched places with Lynn, who had been on the end. James told Kate to ignore them and they got, once again, caught up in their kissing. Lily rolled her eyes in disgust.

It was then that a high-pitched voice made them all wince. A girl who was almost a double of Kate Orr skipped into view, towing a miserable-looking Sirius behind her. When he caught sight of Lily and Enid, he mouthed pathetically, "Help me?" Enid started laughing uncontrollably, and even Lily giggled, before feeling sorry for Sirius. She decided to help him when 'Clara Peggins' gave a particularly squeaky giggle and they all winced again.

Lily pretended to blush and flutter her eyelashes at Sirius and giggled, "Siri, you didn't tell me you were bringing a friend!" The girl's skipping and giggling came to a screeching halt and she squealed indignantly at Sirius, "Sirius! UH! I'm _so_ leaving!" and stormed out of the stadium.

Once she was out of sight, Sirius sank onto the bench next to Lily and threw his arms around her. "Thank you! You're my hero!" he cried dramatically.

"Geez Lily, you ruin everything!" Enid stopped laughing and turned back to Lynn.

"Get off me Sirius! I didn't do it for you! I'm still mad at you for being a jerk to Lydia, but I couldn't stand the idea of sitting next to that all match! Her voice! It made me want to feed myself my tongue! Ick!"

"I couldn't agree with you more, only I would _never_ feed myself my tongue. I really do feel bad about Lydia though." Sirius slumped back on the bench.

"And you should!" Lily said unsympathetically.

"Hey, I'm going to get Enid a 'sweet and sour lollipop' (God, I hate that word!); you want anything Lily?" Lynn leaned towards her.

_(A/N: That was Lynn saying that he hates the word 'lollipop'; not me. I love the word 'lollipop')._

"No thanks, I'm fine." She replied, smiling.

Sirius pulled some galleons out of his pocket and waved them at Lynn, saying sarcastically, "Well, now that you mention it, I'm thirsty. Be a good lad and get me a Butterbeer, will ya'?"

Lynn's warm eyes had gone cold and he growled at Sirius, "If you want to keep your daddy's money, and your nose the way it is, I suggest you be a good little boy and put it back in your pocket!"

"Don't talk about my father!" Sirius made as if to stand up, put Lily stopped him and Enid gave Lynn a gentle shove away from Sirius and towards the snack stands, smiling reassuringly.

Lynn left and Enid rounded on Sirius; "That was rude! Just back off him, will you? He didn't do anything to you!"

"Asshole!" Sirius muttered darkly after Lynn, completely ignoring Enid's rants.

"This is boring; I'll see you tomorrow Jamiekins," Kate kissed him again, stood up to their left and climbed down the bleachers. James leaned back in his chair, looking smug, and addressed Lily sardonically, "So, where is Prince Charming?"

"_Carter_ is playing." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Lily, you should _not_ be dating him! Seriously!" Sirius lectured, as if he were her older brother.

"Not this again! Get lost will you? You're _not_ my father, and you can't tell me who to date!" Lily snapped. Sirius would have responded, but the commentator (Susan Green, Cassie Green's seventh-year twin) was yelling into her bull horn to start the match.

"And now, the Red team! MVP of last match: Tyler Louise!" she cried, "Give it up!"

Enid jumped up and down and booed loudly. James and Sirius exchanged looks and then yelled, "GO RED TEAM!", because they knew that Carter was on the Blue one. Lily rolled her eyes at the guys, and stayed in her seat. Enid sat back down and said, "You don't cheer at Quidditch matches often, do you?"

"No, I'm usually playing. This is weird."

"Just pretend it's football, and that the Blue team is Man U and the Red one is… Arsenal!"

"Oh, okay," Lily shrugged.

"And here come the Blue team!" Susan roared. "MVP of last match: Carter Hall!"

Lily joined Enid in jumping up and down this time. They screamed so loudly that the people in front of them put their hands over their ears.

"And the match is in play! Frank Longbottom with the quaffle, passes to Randolph Pike! Pike passes back to Longbottom! Longbottom goes for goal and… passes to Carter Hall! That was a random decision, but it worked! Carter Hall has scored the first goal of the match, making the score 10 – 0 to the Blue team! WHOHOO!"

"WOOOO! YEAH CARTER!" Lily and Enid cheered together. Sirius and James booed loudly.

Carter pumped his fist in the air and high-fived his team mates. He saw Lily in the stands and gave her a wave, which she returned, smiling.

The game had only started a few minutes ago, when Lucius Malfoy and his cronie, Frederick Lestrange, decided that it would be fun to aim both bludgers at the guy who was in goal for the Blue team. The bludgers sped towards him and caught the dude in the chest, completely winding him and knocking him off his broom.

_(A/N: Sound familiar? I don't own that part; I just needed a fowl and that one sounded good)._

"Fowl!" Enid yelled. Lily had covered her eyes and winced when she heard the thud of the guy hitting the pitch.

"If that ever happens to me, I don't think I'll want to wake up!" she moaned sympathetically.

"Should have been watching the balls, shouldn't he!" James and Sirius sniggered. Lily shot them exasperated looks and said, "I hope, if that ever happens to me, you two will be a great deal more sympathetic. Nasty gits! That poor guy!"

"AAwww… Of course we will Lily-Billy! We lurve you…" Sirius hugged her again. She scowled at the nick-name and pushed him off her. James just snorted and said, "Speak for yourself, Padfoot mate!"

"And the Blue team are in a huddle after calling for timeout!" Susan brushed a dreadlock away from her eyes so that she could see the group on the pitch clearly. "If they can't find a replacement Keeper, they will be forced to forfeit! And Carter and Longbottom both mount their brooms and take off! Where are they going?"

Lily had just brought up the fact that there were no girls playing, with Enid, and was giving her opinion on the subject, when Carter took off, so she didn't see him flying up towards them.

"Another thing: Why are there no girls playing? It's degrading! Not to mention chauvinistic and downright stupid!" she was sulking.

Carter was in the air beside them, and he said, "There can be girls playing; suit up!" He tossed her a Blue pinnie, which she caught before stammering, "What? You want me to play?"

"That's the idea, yeah!" Carter grinned.

Lily's eyes widened; "But, I can't!"

"Why not?"

"I'm… in jeans!"

"You can't play because you're in jeans?"

"Right!"

"Suit up kiddo!"

"But, there are people watching!"

"You've played in front of the whole school! Please?"

"No!"

"Please? Do it because you're having fun on the date?"

"No!"

"Do it because you like Quidditch?"

"Not that much, my friend!"

"Do it because you like me?" Carter said, smiling adorably. He then leaned over the barrier (the one preventing people from falling from the stands), and kissed Lily softly on the lips. Lily blushed furiously and sighed, "Fine! But if that happens to me," she gestured at the guy getting carried off the pitch, "I'll wake up, kill you, and die happily!"

Sirius and James coughed and pretended to gag behind their hands. Enid and Lily both rolled their eyes at them, and Carter ignored them.

Carter flashed his dazzling smile and said, "Works for me." He was just holding out his hand to help Lily onto his broom so that she could get one of her own, when James jumped up suddenly.

"Wait! Evans, I don't know about this! You might let one of our secret tactics slip! He probably just wants to steal our tactics so that his team can beat us when we play Ravenclaw next!"

Lily turned around to face James, and Carter raised an eyebrow behind her.

"Potter, I don't know what you're talking about! What 'secret tactics'? We haven't had practice in, like, three weeks! I promise not to let 'anything slip', and anyway, could you two please stop telling be what I can and can't do? It's annoying and a little creepy!" With that, Lily took Carter's out-stretched hand (while muttering something about hating being on the back of people's brooms) and climbed on behind him. Carter smirked at James as he flew Lily down to the ground.

James glowered after them and flopped back down onto the seat. He turned and glowered at Enid next, who was stifling a grin, "What?"

"No-thing," she giggled. He glowered and asked again, "What!"

"It's just that you sound kind of… oh, I don't know… Jealous?"

"Jealous? Of what!"

"Carter."

James' next few words were drowned out by Susan Green introducing Lily as the new Blue team Keeper, which was probably a good thing, because they were mainly rude swear words. Enid grinned at Sirius and stood up to cheer for her friend.

James folded his arms and glared at his feet. Sirius gave Enid an angry look and snapped, "I'm surprised you're letting her do this!"

Enid sat down again and said, "Who?"

"Lily."

"Do what? Has that naughty girl been knocking down the firewhisky again?"

"Go out with _him_!" Sirius gestured towards Carter, who was streaking down the pitch with the quaffle.

"Okay, what is wrong with Carter and Lynn? They're really nice."

"They're jerks!" James cut in, "And they're players! They're always bragging about how many girls they've got to take their clothes off!"

"So, they're older versions of you two?"

"Yeah," Sirius said quickly, but then he figured out what she had said and he corrected himself; "No!"

Enid laughed and dismissed the subject by saying, "Lily and I know what we're doing, so stop acting like our fathers!"

In a few minutes, Lynn returned holding a large, pink and yellow lollipop for Enid in one hand, and a pumpkin juice in the other for himself. Enid jumped up and down some more and took the lollipop. Apparently, there had been more people at the snack stand than actually watching the game.

Lynn sat down beside James, who scowled even more. In another few minutes, Sirius leaned over to Lynn and hissed, "What, no butterbeer?"

Lynn smirked and said, "I doubt your daddy would want you to spend his money on such frivolous things; just ask him… Oh, that's right, you can't!"

Sirius made a sudden move like he was going to hit Lynn, but Enid put an arm out to stop him. James would have punched Lynn for his Best Friend, but Lynn got up too quickly, saying, "Enid, I'll be right back, okay? I just want some fresh air."

Enid nodded and said that that was fine with her. He left, and Sirius pulled away from Enid, who kicked him in the shin. He swore and said, "What the Hell was that for?"

"That was for being a moron! Leave him alone!"

"He…"

"You too James! Just leave him alone!"

Sirius just stood up and said that he was going to get a butterbeer, and would be right back. James followed soon after, to Enid muttering, "What is this? Some secret club that I don't know about?", and then turning back to the game.

She had been watching happily for a few minutes, when Carter did something unexpected:

"And Hall is flying downwards, away from the pitch! Why the Hell is he doing that? And Evans has called for timeout! She's following! What's bloody-well going on down there? I can't see that far!"

"Oh, dammit!" Enid groaned, realizing what must be happening. She leapt down from the bleachers and sprinted away from the pitch.

_Author's Note: Yay! So, did you like that? A cliff hanger! If any of you can guess what's happening you will receive TWO cookies. Yum… So, here come the thankyous (you guys need to LENGTHEN your reviews please, hint hint!) and the next chapter is called 'The Fight, and Deftinitely, the Snowballs' so there: _

_crazylily: My first reviewer… Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… You want Lily to die. A lot! And it shows. And it worries me… Oh well. Glad you think it's 'snazzy'. Hopefully I will be able to keep up my 'snazzy' standards. Thanks for reviewing! _

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… What's with the death threats, people? What happened to 'brotherly love' and all the jazz? Oh well. Sorry about the cliffy and sorry about this one too… Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer… Well, apparently this chapter did have the double date (sorry about the sarcasm, but writing all of this is taking a long time and making me cranky). Glad you like it and hehe about Lydia and Sirius (that was supposed to be an evil laugh that tells you nothing, NOTHING!). Thanks for reviewing!_

_kittiegalal: My tenth reviewer… Sorry you found it odd. Oh well. Hopefully this one was less so. Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Crush.Pink.Summer.: My thirteenth reviewer… Glad you appreciate the fine art of stripping, even if no one else does… Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… I like it when you're happy. Yay! Sorry about the last cliffy… And this one… Will try to update sooner. Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer… Sooo… I was actually thinking of locking Lily and James in a closet together, hehe. Probably will, now that I think about it. Love your take on the world needing brainless celebs, but Britney Spears I could do without. Whoot for the rusty spanners that aren't being whipped at my head for updating so slowly! Yup. Thanks for reviewing!_

_brooke michelle: My twentieth reviewer… Don't worry about the bubbles. It's a sort of inside joke I have with… Well… Myself… That doesn't make me sound too good, does it? Or sane…? So yeah. How's your story coming? Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_vegitarians will rule the Earth: My twenty-first reviewer… I hope I got your name right because I'm slow (minded; and updater) but oh well. Glad you like. Thanks for reviewing! _

_K McNeely: My twenty-fourth reviewer…Hehe… You have no idea what I'm doing to Lydia and Sirius (just ignore how wrong that sounds…). So, yeah. Glad you liked it (you did say you liked it, right?). Well, I think you did (or I hope so), because you reviewed and I'm too lazy to check (don't you love lazy-arsed author-wannabees who just sit back making snide comments?). Thanks for reviewing! _

_MiYu.Lara: My latest reviewer… Yes Sirius and Lydia did make such a cute couple, but who says that's the end of them… Or is it? Hehe. I love being the evil author for a change (yeah, right…). Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Now I would like lots of lovely long reviews. Tell people! Make them review! Thanks. Sorry if I forgot anyone. You can poke me if I did. I will then bang my head repetitively into the oven door in punishment. Hehe. And where did all of my other lovely reviewers go? Oh well, I love you all anyway. Until next time, bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	16. And So It Begins And Definitely,

_Author's Note: This chapter is slightly weird, but all in good fun. Thank all of you guys for reviewing; you have no idea how happy it makes me! Yay! I'm going back to England for March Break! YES! I love England. I will probably take this story with me (in print version) and work on it there, with the atmosphere and everything… But, if I see Daniel Radcliffe on the streets, it's bye-bye story; hello stalking for autographs! Hehe. Hope you like this chapter, review notes at the end. I also changed this chapter name… Bubbles!_

_-Kat _

Chapter sixteen – And So It Begins… And Definitely the Snowballs 

When Lily touched down beside the guys, she saw Enid sprinting towards her.

Lily yelled, "Carter, stop!"

Carter and James were tumbling about on the ground (hmmm…sounds dirty, but it isn't), fists flailing everywhere. So were Sirius and Lynn.

Enid pulled out her wand and shouted, "HEY! BREAK IT UP, YOU IDIOTS!" She whispered a few words of a spell, and a cascade of blue and green sparks flew from her wand, freezing the fighting people in their places.

Lily blinked, amazed at the magic that Enid had just done, but then remembered what she _should_ be doing, and stepped in between the frozen Carter and James. Enid did the same with Sirius and Lynn.

The boys could still see and hear, but blinking was all they could do as far as moving went.

"Now," Enid looked hostile, "I will remove the spell, but if any of you so much as looks at one another, someone's gonna get hurt, and, to give you a clue, it won't be me. Got it? Good!"

Lily was still in between Carter and James, facing Carter, and Enid was facing Sirius. She said a few more words, and the boys could move again.

Sirius looked very much like he wanted to risk incurring Enid's wrath, just to get in a few more swipes at Lynn, but decided against it after one look from her. James tenderly touched his forehead, where he was bleeding from a small cut. Enid glared at James and Sirius as she spoke, "You two; leave! I'll deal with you later!"

James raised an eyebrow, but started to move towards the exit. Lynn smirked at Sirius, who started towards him again, but James pulled him back and whispered, "He's not worth it Sirius! Come on."

"What was that?" Enid turned to Lynn.

"He punched me," Lynn replied, rubbing his eye, which was a purple shade. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Well, of all the possible answers to that question, I would have picked 'don't insult his dad in the first place', or 'walk away'!"

While Enid and Lynn argued over what he should have done, Lily looked concernedly at Carter.

"Are you okay?" she looked at a cut he had, just below his left eye.

"Yeah, thanks."

"What was all that about?"

"I saw Lynn and Black fighting, but Potter was standing around, looking like he was gonna join in, so I flew down to make sure he wouldn't, and he punched me, so I guess I joined in. You're not mad, are you?"

"Come here," Lily waved him towards her and lifted her wand. Placing a hand lightly over his cut, she tapped it with her wand and said some healing words. The cut stopped bleeding and vanished, leaving only a white scratch in it's place. Carter winced as he touched the place where the cut had been, but smiled at Lily when he figured out that she had healed it.

"Thanks," he said.

"No problem. But, in future, could you do me a favour, and stay away from him? Just ignore and avoid him; that's what I do."

"And it's that easy?"

"Well… No, but it'll be worth it if you don't get any more cuts out of the deal. Please?"

"Alright; I'll try it for you, but if he starts a fight for no reason, I can retaliate, right?"

"Fine, but try really hard not to, first?"  
"Okay. But he really bugs me, ya know?"

"Yeah, I do…"

"Sorry to break up the party folks, but are we playing a match here, or what?" Alfred Longbottom poked his round head round the bleachers.

_(A/N: Round; round… Hehe…)._

"Yeah, we'll be right there," Carter nodded, and they heard Susan Green announcing it a few seconds later.

"Can you two stop arguing for one sec, please?" Lily stepped in between the bickering Lynn and Enid. She performed the same charm she had used on Carter, on a few of Lynn's worse cuts, and then took Carter's offered hand.

"Thanks," Lynn said, before continuing his argument with Enid.

"You're nice, you know that?" Carter grinned at his date. He leaned over and kissed her lightly, before grabbing their discarded brooms and taking off.

Carter and Lily were walking down the hall to Griffindor Tower, and they were holding hands. Their team had won the match, and named Lily the Blue team's MVP of that game. Carter had just asked Lily out for the next evening, Sunday, when they heard the shouts coming from the Common Room.

A two third year boys came laughing out of the Common Room. Lily could hear them saying things like, "Sirius Black and James Potter getting their asses kicked verbally, by a girl!", and, "Are we going to be that weird and wimpy when we turn fifteen?", and, "Dude! That girl scares me!", and, "She scares me too. Imagine being able to frighten James and Sirius! Whoa!" "You think _she_ gave them all those bruises?" "And now she's come back to finish them off!"

Lily rolled her eyes at the two young boys. "I should go, before Enid gets to the physical stage of her anger," Lily said. "See you tomorrow?"

Carter nodded and kissed her once more, before grinning and going back to his own Common Room.

Lily braced herself and thought, _'And so it begins,'_ as she climbed through the Portrait Hole.

"What the Hell is your problem? What's wrong with Lily and I wanting to go out on a date and have a good time, huh?" Enid was yelling. Apparently, James and Sirius had been sitting in the Common Room, trying to stop their bleeding, when Enid had stormed in and started yelling. She and Lynn had left the Quidditch match before Carter and Lily. "Ah, Lily! Anything you'd like to add?"

"Nope." Lily said simply, "I think you've about covered it, but I will say that you two are complete assholes! Couldn't you at least have picked a time when we weren't with them?"

"It wasn't like we were the only ones fighting!" James yelled back.

A small crowd had started to gather around the four, and a few were looking curiously at the cuts and bruises that Sirius and James both had all over themselves.

"But you started it!"

"What's going on?" Lydia pushed through the people around her friends. Enid and Lily didn't see her though, so they kept shouting.

Enid was really mad, "If you hadn't gone on that stupid date, Sirius, none of this would have happened!"

Lydia, who had been moving towards Sirius, looking alarmed and concerned by his wounds, stopped and turned to Enid, looking hurt. "What?" She guessed she knew what had happened when she saw Enid's shocked face at finding Lydia beside her. Lydia looked disgustedly at Sirius and said to Lily, "I'll be upstairs for when you want to explain."

She pushed past the students blocking the girls' staircase, and was almost at the bottom of it, when Sirius grabbed her arm.

"Lydia, I didn't…"

"How dare you! How dare you touch me! Get off me! You make me sick!" Lydia cried. And she raised her hand and brought it down, across Sirius' face. He dropped her hand and winced, but stood his ground as she ran up the stairs.

Enid had stopped shouting and looked remotely sorry for Sirius, not that she would ever admit it. Lily pulled out her wand and stepped towards James, who raised his hands and moved back from her. She rolled her eyes and hissed, "Come here, you idiot! I'm not going to hurt you." She performed her little healing charm, and James reluctantly said, "Thanks."

"Sirius?" Lily moved through people to get to Sirius, who was slumped at the bottom of the stairs. She reached out to him and performed her charm, ignoring his feeble protests. She instructed him to get to bed, and he moved, but said quietly, "Lily, will you please explain to Lydia? Tell her I'm sorry?"

Lily nodded and left him with James, to go to bed, and climbed the stairs (Enid had already followed Lydia).

The next morning, Lily, Enid, and Christine went down to breakfast without Lydia, who opted to stay in bed. It was a Sunday, so the students could do as they pleased.

Lydia heard her friends talking about her as they left, and she pretended to be asleep:

"Poor Lydia," Christine gave her opinion on the events of the last night. "I can't believe James suggested a date!"

"It's just the kind of thing Potter would do, isn't it?" Lily frowned. "Make his friend think it's okay to go on a date after you break up and try to get back together non-stop."

"I feel kind of bad about Lydia finding out about it like that though; I was just really angry, and I didn't see her," Enid looked at the carpet.

"So they really have something against Lynn and Carter?" Christine asked.

"Yeah, but it sounds to me like it's more of a 'macho battle', you know? Like Sirius and James don't want them stealing their fan clubs, or positions as the people who 'rule the school'. Like in Grease!" Enid smiled at the last part.

Lydia listened to their voices die away, and rolled over, burying herself further into the bed covers. She moaned slightly, as the realities of yesterday poured over her, in a fresh wave of sorrows.

She felt rather like she was hungover, but that might have been because of all the ice cream… Lydia sank further into her bed, and was just on the verge of sleep (she had been tossing and turning all night), when her watch went off.

"AArrggggg…! Bloody sodding watch!" she cried, finally rolling back over and reaching for her watch, which she whacked, angrily with her wand until it stopped ringing. Now, some might call her 'ill-tempered' after this display, but we know better… She just broke up with her boyfriend, whom, she discovered, only a few hours after their break up, went out on a date with a slut that his best friend fixed him up with, _and_ got into a fist-fight with her best friends' dates, _plus_, she didn't sleep much at all, so I think she had reason to be angry at her watch when it woke her up. Don't judge, people!

_(A/N: I know they wouldn't have alarm watches because digital ones wouldn't work, but let's just be nice people, and PRETEND…). _

Then, she was disturbed by a continuous tapping at the window. _'Why me, huh? Can't everyone and everything just piss off and allow me to wallow in peace!'_ Lydia couldn't help thinking. She tossed her bed covers aside and stamped over to the window, which she threw violently open, causing the owl outside it to fly away, hooting indignantly.

"Come here, you stupid feathered git!" Lydia called at the white-feathered-fluff ball, now screeching at the top of it's lungs. It obviously wasn't too partial to being shouted at and almost knocked-out by a window.

_(A/N: Geez, do owls even have lungs?). _

Lydia eventually (after long minutes of high-pitched screeching from both her and the owl) had to summon the owl with her wand. It flew (not flew, like 'flapped it's wings and moved', but flew like 'the invisible beam of her spell forced it to zoom towards her') right to her, still hooting angrily, and she pulled the letter off it's leg. She then promptly dropped it out the window (she was feeling murderous, but not enough that she wouldn't feel bad if it died), so that it had to flap it's wings furiously just to avoid plummeting to the ground.

Lydia threw the letter at the wall and decided that she would go back to bed then, and read it later. She had only been lying in her bed, trying to suffocate herself with her duvet, for a minute or so, before another tapping sound came on the window.

"BLOODY-SODDING-OWLS!" she yelled into her pillow. The tapping of the owl speeded up, almost as if it was nagging her to hurry up. She glowered at it from her bed and got up. She dragged herself over to the window, which she flung open even more angrily than the last time.

"Stop sending me ruddy letters, you stupid…" Before Lydia could insult the people who liked her enough to send her letters, she screamed again. Some of the girls passing her dorm in the corridor might have thought her deranged or disturbed, but we know better…

Lydia had screamed this time, because the owl had not been carrying a letter, but a box of chocolates and a card. She dropped the chocolates as soon as they were off the owl's leg and in her hands. She ripped open the card, skipped to the bottom, read 'Love Sirius', and dropped that too.

In the Common Room, where Lydia's friends had been sitting, to give her some space, they heard the scream, and James, who had been falling asleep on the couch, jumped up, yelling, "Bloody-Sodding-Hell! What the Hell was that?"

"Lydia," Christine said simply.

"Wonder why she's screaming now?" said Peter.

"Sounds like she needs the 'Dance it Out' treatment." Enid remarked.

"What in God's name is that?" James asked grumpily. Enid ignored him and Lily glared at him (they were both still angry about the night before).

"Seriously, what is that?" Christine asked.

"Dancing. It helps you to calm down if you jump around acting crazy to some loud music." Lily replied.

"Oh, I'll rush right up!" Christine said sarcastically, before returning to her book. Enid grinned and walked to the stairs with Lily. They both appeared in the doorway of their dorm room to see Lydia stamping on the chocolates. To tell the truth, she did look rather, ahem, disturbed, in the mind. I mean, seriously; stamping on a box of yummy chocolates… Hehe…

"Lydia, freeze and step away from the chocolates!" Lily ordered.

"But…" Lydia protested, but was answered by Enid yanking her away from the sweets.

"Okay, now you need to dance."

"Huh?"

"Just follow Lily and I; we're just going to jump around for a bit."

Lily waved her wand so that music notes started to pour out the tip of it. A fast and loud song by the Beatles started up, even though Lydia had no idea who they were.

Enid pulled Lydia to her feet and started dancing. Lily was having fun doing random, cheesy dances moves from the 50's and even more random disco moves. Lydia laughed half-heartedly at her friends and tapped her foot to the music.

_(A/N: Although, technically, 50's dance moves wouldn't be cheesy yet, because they're supposed to be around in the 60's…Had 'disco' even happened yet?)._

"Take it Lyds!" Enid shouted to Lydia, who had somehow gotten involved in Lily's disco moves

'_Twist and shout!'_ the song blared.

Lydia laughed now, and did a few fake pirouettes (at which Lily took much offence).

While the girls tried to 'dance it out', a figure on a broomstick flew away from their window. Sirius headed towards the gamekeeper's cabin for a cup of tea and some fudge with Hagrid. AAwww…

_(A/N: This was going to be the end of the chapter, but I need to add the snowballs, so here you go…)._

"Sirius said he wouldn't be back for a while, so why don't we go and do something?" James leapt up from his seat in the Common Room.

"Like what?" Peter looked at James, expectantly.

"Go for a walk?"

"Okay, but it's all snowy so I need my boots and coat," Lily shrugged.

"Me too," Enid said. Lydia had stayed up in their room to do some homework (and avoid a certain _someone_…). Lily, Christine, and Enid stood and went to get their coats, so Remus and Peter and James did too.

Once outside, the six teens had fun jumping in piles of snow (like normal people). James was innocently throwing snowballs at people and looking away as soon as they were thrown. It was not until they had been outside for about ten minutes, than a snowball fight was officially started up. It happened when James had been protesting to Lily that he hadn't actually thrown a snowball at her; it had just slipped out of his hand, and a snowball hit him hard in the back of the head.

He whipped around, only to be caught in the face by the next ball of powdery snow. "Okay, someone's gonna pay!" He yelled, grabbing his own handful of snow.

"This isn't the Quidditch pitch, James! I can kick your arse at snowball fights!" Sirius emerged from behind a snow-covered statue, clutching armfuls of snowballs. He then shouted, "Charge!" and a horde of first years shot out from behind the statues in the courtyard, where they were.

"Attack!" Sirius commanded his evil little army. Lily shrieked and ran for cover behind Remus, who was trying valiantly to charm the snowballs to fly back at Sirius, who had obviously organized the whole war.

Enid was proving just as good as Sirius on the Battlefield, and was flinging snow left, right, and center. James was whacking at the approaching kids (all holding snowballs) and shouting, "Back, munchkins, back! Sirius, we're supposed to be your friends!"

"Back off or I'll bite you!" Christine was yelling at a little girl with cute blonde pigtails. She was in Hufflepuff, and her name was Caitlin Andrews. She just glared back at Christine and hit her with a snowball, screaming, "If you bite me, I'll bite you back!"

Christine glared some more before deciding, "I like you, kid. You have some potential for life in the real world… But now you're gonna pay!"

Christine chased after Caitlin, who had ducked through Christine's legs and was now running in the opposite direction, occasionally shooting snowballs back over her shoulder.

Sirius was just sitting and laughing his head off at the sight of his friends getting their butts whipped by some first years. That is, until a snowball from Enid knocked him over backwards. "Oi!" He yelled indignantly to a first year near him, "Help your Captain up!"

"Sure, where's my Captain?" the little boy replied cheekily. Sirius snarled and lunged for the kid.

"Damn fast little munchkins! Why do they make them so fast anyway! I'm gonna get you back for that Enid! Just as soon as I can get up!"

"Better hurry up then, my easy target!" Enid yelled back at Sirius as she beamed him with another snowball.

He jumped up and ran after her. "Gotcha!" Sirius shouted as he lunged for Enid's waist, and they both went tumbling to the ground, laughing.

In the Headmaster's study: 'Poor Mr. Potter!' Albus Dumbledore chuckled to himself as he surveyed the scene below from his window. 'He seems to have been brought down by the first years. Ah, well, he fought bravely…'

Dumbledore's eyes moved from James (at the bottom of a pile of first years), to where Lily and Remus stood, trying to freeze the snowballs coming their way.

'A very good and sophisticated idea,' he mused. 'But Miss Evans needs to improve her aim. She seems to be hitting Mr. Potter more than the snowballs, which seems to be the main reason for his being defeated…'

True, Lily was aiming more hexes at James than the snowballs, and all because of the snowball he had thrown at her before the evil, demon munchkins attacked…

Dumbledore laughed when he saw a large group of the first years chasing Peter, who was running around and screaming like a madman.

'And Miss Carpollo… Perhaps she should use some of her other skills and _fly _after Miss Andrews; she would probably be more successful.'

He smiled and looked over to Sirius and Enid, who were now lying side by side, panting on the ground, still laughing.

'_And Miss Allows... Good luck!' _

_Author's Note: Dontcha love Sirius and munchkins. I will stop now in case I give something important away. Which would be a typical me thing to do… Oh well. You guys all rules for all the reviews. I think we'll be at 300 in no time! Yay! The next chapter is called 'Battle Strategies'. More snowballs! Snowballs are the theme for the next few chapters, but don't get bored and stop reading, because I have lots of juicy things planned too (doesn't 'juicy' sound sickening right there? Like squelching…). Here are my thank yous:_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… I don't want you to be sad… But I also want to leave y'all (hehe-yankspeak-hehe) with the most major-ist cliff-hanger right before I go to England, so I must stagger the release of the chapters… You will kill me when you find out what it is. It will be the end of this first story, and when I get back I will post the beginning of the second story (coughDEATHcough). Hehe. I like your description of Lynn; I should use that. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… Is 'interesting' a good thing (like 'cool; interesting…), or is it a sarcastic, bad thing (like 'in-ter-est-ing'… coughcough…)? So yup. Thanks for reviewing!_

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer… Good. We have finally come to an agreement on the death threats then? Hehe. Yes, a cliff hanger. You hate me for it. Well join the club (of all of my other reviewers). Read crazylily's review response to hate me more. But just bear in mind, that _if_ you guys decide to gang up to track me down and kill me, then you will never get to read more of this fic… Hehe. I love reasoning! That's it but you do get cookies for the coughing (fight). Thanks for reviewing!_

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer… Yes, yes… Poor Lydia… Hehe. You think I care about 'poor Lydia'? Well you are so wrong! Hehe. I enjoy torturing the Hell out of my characters. Especially ones who steal my Marauders from me… I am a sadistic person/author, and that's the way (uh huh, uh huh…) I like it (uh huh, uh huh…)! It's a sickness… Thanks for reviewing! _

_kittiegalal: My tenth reviewer… Well, in this case, a pinnie is the thing you wear in P.E., but it can also be an apron or some sort of dress. Oh well. You choked on a peanut? I know the feeling well, my friend. Hehe. Keep what up? The cliff hangers? Oh, okay. I will do that, just for you (goes back to re-write the ending of this chapter). Thanks for reviewing!_

_Crush.Pink.Summer.: My thirteenth reviewer… I'm sorry but I'm a bit lazy and procrastinator-ish with the updating, but you should see how I procrastinate the writing… Perhaps I shouldn't be telling you all of this… Oh well. I'm glad that you're glad and aren't we all just glad together? Thanks for reviewing! _

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… And I love checking my e-mails seeing I that simple little message that says that this fic has been reviewed, so please keep it up. Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer… Yes. Long. Good. You are smart so you get lots of cookies. Your idea for why they were fighting would have been good… I should have thought of that… Unfortunately, I am not that deep, smart, or normal. Oh well (I way overuse that phrase…). Thanks for reviewing (love the longness)!_

_brooke michelle: My twentieth reviewer… Sorry, but this isn't really posting it soon… Oh well. Glad to hear about your story. Thanks for reviewing!_

_vegetarians will rule the Earth__: My twenty-first reviewer… I hope this is you. The name changing thing keeps confusing me (I'm a naturally confused person though, so I don't know how much of a difference that is…). Please do not die. I know that most people cannot help dieing, but try to avoid it for as long as humanely possible (at least do not die purposely or because you want me to update, because then you will not get to read OR review…). So yup. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Eliot Z. Wheatherbee__: My twenty-second reviewer… Yup. Damn straight dude! You get cookies! Yay. Thanks for reviewing!_

_K McNeely: My twenty-fourth reviewer… Unfortunately, I am not smart enough to come up with anything about the hating between the guys, but I will try to work some things in later. I am so glad you care about the snowballs. Well, I gave them to you, and you will be hearing a lot more from them for two more chapters. Everyone will be sick of them by then, but in chapter nineteen, I finally have some evil stuff in the plot. Hehe. Oh (was going to say 'well', but I really do overuse that…) … Shmell! There; a good substitute for 'well'. Thanks for reviewing! _

_MiYu.Lara: My twenty-fifth reviewer… If you hate me now, read crazylily's review response and you'll hate me even more, in advance. Hehe. I LOVE the 'psycho rubber duckies' fantasy… That is just my style. Hehe. You get two cookies for for guessing about the 'arse kicking'. Hehe. That was fun to write (even if it is weird to read). Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Twin Tails Speed: My latest reviewer… I'm glad you think it's good. It's nice to know your (or in this case, my) work is appreciated. Thanks for reviewing!_

_Thanks for reviewing! You guys rule! And let us try to keep up the 'long review' thing, because that really works for me (and it also prompts me to update more often than I usually would, hinthint…). The next chapter is… wait, I already told you this… My memory sucks. Please leave LENGTHY reviews! It is so much fun to read your responses. I actually liked this chapter and I hope you guys did too. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	17. Battle Strategies

_Author's Note: This is your belated Halloween (even though it has nothing to do with Halloween…) present from the person who stayed at home and handed out sweets (two little buggers- boys, of course, no offence to any guys reading this… - had the nerve to come back twice, and I had to work hard to refrain from swearing violently at them and telling them to bloody well piss off… but I didn't…). Don't tease me about being a sad, sad person, because my friends (yes, my FRIENDS! I do have some, contrary to popular belief… Even if they do spend all their time teasing me…) already took care of that for you. HUMPH. _

_I was surprised by how many of you suspect Enid of being evil (well… mean…). She isn't. Lydia is one of her best friends, so do you really think she'd do that to her? Answer honestly (and if it helps those of you who hate her name can think of her as Esmé or Lucy or something – the Esmé thing is an inside joke with my school mates). Don't you trust her? Before you ask, yes I am referring to a character, whom I made up, as a real life person… And also, yes I am sane, and no, I am not doing drugs of any shape or form (wait; does weed count…?). I guess that's what I get for trying to be sneaky and make it cute…_

_Ah well… Say… Random question; from reading my story (well, more the author's note than anything…), how old would you all guess that I am? 10? 12? 62?... Just wondering if you brilliant people think I sound older or younger than I am… Don't cheat and read the response on my profile first. Just take a guess. It's interesting for me to see the weird results. Anyway, Bubbles!_

_-Kat _

Chapter seventeen – Battle Strategies

Later that day, the fifth year Griffindor students (minus Lydia, who was hanging in the library with Marrella) were huddled in the Common Room, trying to dry themselves out by the fire. James brought up the snowball fight.

"So, Sirius, why the Hell did you set the munchkins on us? We're supposed to be your friends!"

"I was getting them in practice," Sirius answered, as if surprised that the answer hadn't been obvious to everyone.

"Practice for what, man, they're munchkins! All they can do is bite our ankles!" James snorted.

Peter winced and sulked, "Yeah, they can!", because a few had actually bitten him. Everyone laughed and Lily said, "Potter, don't call them munchkins! It's rude and annoying. And remember, you were one once."

"Nope, I was never that short or annoying!"

"Short, perhaps not, but annoying is a completely different matter."

"Just what are you insinuating, Evans?"

"OI!" Sirius interrupted James and Lily's glowering match. "I was training them for the school-wide snowball fight! I intend for Griffindor to win!"

"The school-wide what?" Remus laughed.

"Snowball fight. It's an annual war, and I'm going to lead Griffindor to victory!"

"Are you aware, Sirius," Christine scoffed, remembering her run-in with the mini-her Hufflepuff girl, "That you were 'training' just as many Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs as Griffindors?"

"Yes! It's all part of my fantabulous plan!" Sirius puffed out his chest proudly.

"Which is…?" Enid asked skeptically.

"Well, since the tossers in Slytherin are our only _real_ competition, we take the others down, and they come running to us, and we make them work _for_ us."

"Hey, that's good!" James grinned.

"I know, Lieutenant!" Sirius assumed his role of Commander, and started issuing roles out to the others.

"Sir!" Peter put in.

"Yes Private?"

"When is this great battle to take place, Sir?"

"In 0-154 hours, Private!"

Peter looked down at his fingers, confused, as if to say 'my fingers can't count that high', and Sirius sighed and said, "This time next Saturday, Wormtail, get with it!"

"Commander?" James sat up pompously.

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

"Ought we not to discuss battle strategies for the big day, Sir?"

"Why yes, old chap, we ought to! General Mooney?"

"Yes?" Remus looked tiredly up from his book.

"It's 'yes _Sir_', General! And we need you to be our scribe and write down our battle ideas."

"Yes, _Sir_." Remus sighed, pulling out a quill. Sirius and James would not be disappointed when they went into leader/'noble'/bossy modes.

"Now, we need one of those hot nurses in the short skirts! Blue-bells, I think they're called!" Sirius looked expectantly at Enid, who glared at him.

"Don't look at me, _Commander_; I'm your second in command!" she snapped. He crossed his arms and frowned at her, "You can't do that!"

"Oh yeah? Who's gonna stop me?" she smiled sweetly back at him. He pouted and looked over at Christine to be the nurse. She picked up a tangerine from the coffee table beside her sofa and threw it at him. He ducked and it narrowly missed a third year boy, who glared at Christine and left.

"Fine then!" Sirius stuck his tongue out at her. He and James then both turned to look Lily up and down. "Lily it is then! Lily is our blue-bell, God that's ironic, but d'you think you could wear one of the sexy-short skirts?"

"What?" Lily thundered. "Firstly, they're called blue-_birds_, secondly, OMIGOD, YOU HAVE PROBLEMS, and thirdly, NO!"

"I guess that's a 'sorry Sir, but I'll have to think about the skirt bit', then." Sirius said innocently. This resulted in a second tangerine being thrown at his head.

——————————

"Mr. Potter, what did I just say?" Professor McGonagall snapped at James, who had been playing a very exciting game of… tic-tac-toe (had ya on the edge of your seats for a minute there, didn't I?Hehe…) with Sirius. James, Sirius, and Remus were all excellent Transfiguration students (well, they were good at it, but Remus was the only one who paid any attention in class…), and it bugged people like Lily, and Professor McGonagall, that, even though they had been goofing off, they could always come up with the right answer to any question. Like now, for instance…

"You need to pay extra attention, when attempting this spell, to the fact that the rabbit is actually live, and therefore can dodge your spell easily, if not aimed slightly to the left. Mr. Potter, what did I just say?" James stood and quoted her exactly, almost lazily, with a smirk at Lily, who was rolling her eyes.

"Yes, well, just because you can multi-task as well as any _woman_, Potter, that doesn't mean that you can fool around in my class. That goes for you too, Mr. Black! Why can't you take a leaf out of Mr. Lupin's book? Honestly!" Professor McGonagall snapped again, and returned to her lesson.

James sat back down, to awed stares from Wormtail, and he and Sirius grinned at Remus, who had gained pink tinges in his cheeks.

"AAwww… Did ya hear that, Prongs-y buddy?"

"Indubitably, Padfoot, old boy!"

"We should be more like ickwle-Mooney!"

"Where _did_ we go wrong?" James sniggered.

"Shut up!" Remus whined at his friends, his face growing steadily redder.

"AAwww, buddy! We just want to be like you…" Sirius blinked innocently, "Perfect student, and all…"

Remus groaned and put his head down on the desk. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to live this one down for a long while.

—————

"Yes, finally! A class without Potter!" Lily cheered to Marrella, who was in her Ancient Runes class, and currently walking with her. None of the Marauders took this class, and neither did Enid, because they all found it extremely dull, and would much rather be doing something eventful, like planning their next midnight trip to Hogsmeade… Or a prank, perhaps…

"D'you really think it's healthy to be this excited about not having a class with James?" Marrella raised an eyebrow skeptically at the now bouncing Lily before her.

"It's not just him!" Lily bounced even more, "It's all his friends! None of the stinkin' Marauders to bug me in this class!"

"Hey! I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that I am dating one of the 'stinkin' Marauders'…" Marrella frowned. Lydia, who had been walking with her head down, laughed. Lily shrugged and bounced some more.

"Did someone call?" James popped up behind Lily. She groaned and stopped bouncing. "Don't sound so excited, Evans."

"Don't you guys have some first years to torture or something?" Lily whined as the other Marauders appeared at James side.

Remus kissed Marrella lightly, in greeting, and they stopped walking towards their classroom.

"I'll see you guys in class," Lydia said quietly to Lily and Marrella, and she sped up, so as to avoid Sirius.

This was, of course, no use, as he followed her anyway, but as she reached the classroom, he was side-tracked by a group of giggling girls.

"Hi Sirius!"

"I'm single!"

"You wanna go make out?"

"Back off!" Sirius exclaimed, trying to push past his admirers. He finally reached the outside of the crowd to see Lydia in the doorway. "Lydia!" She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and gave him a look which was an odd, 'hard-to-read' mix of appalled, disappointed, hurt, and, almost, amused… She turned her back on him and followed a line of Ravenclaws into their Ancient Runes classroom.

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his long, black mane of hair. This made several girls swoon (he had that 'moody, troubled, soulful, pensive' thing going…), but he just ignored them.

Lily ignored James' teasing her about… something…, and shrugged at Sirius. Remus shot him a sympathetic look.

"Shouldn't you guys be getting to class…?" Enid gave Lily a significant nod in the direction that Lydia had disappeared in. Lily nodded and nudged Marrella, who was kissing her boyfriend.

"Oh, okay. See you later, Remus. Bye guys."

Sirius watched them go, feeling dejected. James patted him on the back and Peter produced a chocolate frog from his pocket (which meant that it might have been safer not to take it…). Remus still looked at his friend sympathetically, but Enid was sort of uncomfortable.

"Um, I'll see you guys later, okay? Bye!" she burst out suddenly. Before anyone could ask her why, Enid had bolted down the corridor and was out of sight. James, Remus, and Sirius exchanged bemused glances, but ignored it. Peter just thought about what he was going to have for lunch…

————

"UGGHhhh! What right does Borr have, to give us so much homework?" Lydia groaned, remembering the phenomenal load of homework they had just been given.

"_Professor _Borr, has the right to give us as much homework as she wants, because she is our teacher!" Lily shook her head. "It just sucks that she abuses her privileges like that…"

"I take it you three suckers got a lot of homework?" Enid smirked as she caught up with her friends.

"You won't believe just how much; we still can't! And it's a Monday. Ick! Have I mentioned that I hate you for having a spare that period?"

"I believe that cropped up somewhere, yeah." Enid grinned and took a seat at the Griffindor table.

"Hey, hey, hey!" a voice came from behind Lily, who groaned again.

"What do you want!" she moaned as the Marauders took seats around them.

Lydia stood up hurriedly and told Lily that she'd see her after her spare period, when they all had Potions. Sirius tried to stop her, but she was too quick. He sighed heavily, and sat back down.

"How am I going to apologize to her if she won't even talk to me?" he asked Lily, who shrugged and mumbled something incomprehensible. Sirius stuck his tongue out at her.

"Where's Marrella?" Remus inquired casually.

"She's in the broom closet off the hall making out with a Slytherin, Remus! It's lunchtime, and she's a Ravenclaw; where do you think she is? Come on!" Lily snapped testily.

"Oh, right," Remus grinned sheepishly and excused himself. James laughed.

"Stupid so-and-so!" Lily growled to herself.

"Whoa, who jumped down your throat this morning?" James asked. Lily was being very grumpy.

What a coincidence that, a few seconds before James said this, Carter Hall excused himself from his Ravenclaw friends and walked over to Lily. It just set James up to make the comment 'Stupid question…', when Carter kissed Lily.

Lily kicked James, who yelped in pain, and greeted Carter. "Hey! Don't you have class?"

"Well, I did, but Potions for us was cancelled, because some brilliant Slytherin blew up a cauldron of sticking solution!"

"You mean…?" Lily made a face.

"Yep. Everything was stuck to the floor and walls. Lynn lost a shoe. One of the other Slytherins had tripped beforehand, so Pringle's down there now, trying to get her off the floor. It was actually hilarious, _if_ you were standing on the other side of the door. Plus, we got to skip Potions." Carter grinned.

"Actually, that would make sense," Christine had walked in, eager to forget about her own load of _Arithmancy_ homework. "Because I just saw him stamping off to his office to find a rope and some chemicals. He was rambling on about 'stupid, filthy, messy kids'!"

"Sounds about right," Carter flashed Christine a smile. James and Sirius exchanged scowls.

"So, we still on for tomorrow?" Carter turned back to Lily.

"Definitely," she smiled.

"Sorry to break up the party," James cut in, "But we should go. We have Potions."

"Right. Unless it was our dungeon that got plastered in goop?" Enid asked hopefully.

Carter shook his head apologetically and said that it was dungeon number 6, which was used for sixth year only.

"Shucks. Oh well, maybe I can persuade Snape to blow up his cauldron…"

"Coming, Evans?" James stood up. Lily gave him a funny look.

"One minute." To Carter, "Well, I should go. Snape senior gets really mad when we're late. See you later?"

"Sure. Bye." Carter leaned over and kissed her gently, before turning and heading back to his friends.

Sirius and Enid pulled James ahead of the others, so that Lily couldn't hear them talking.

"Well, well, well… Look who has the green monster of jealousy on his shoulder," Enid grinned.

"Seriously mate, you have to make up your mind!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Geez, why am I friends with such gits?"

"In denial; how cute!"

"Shut up, will ya?"

"Sorry, Mr. Lily Evans."

"SIRIUS!"

"OUCH!"

—————

A little Hufflepuff boy with black hair and a black shirt that was far too long for him was walking aimlessly around the school. It was Wednesday, and Sirius had started his publicizing of the snowball fight, by handing snowball fight t-shirts out to the first years. They were supposed to walk around the school so that people could see and prepare for the snowball fight (organize house leaders, battle strategies, etc…).

"Oi, you little whazzak!" Sirius poked another first year, who was sitting down on a statue base. "You're supposed to be publicizing; not resting! Now get off your lazy arse and do some work!"

Lily came up behind Sirius. "You know Sirius, you'll probably get better results if you stop terrorizing these kids…"

"The little wankers aren't being paid to slack off!"

"Correction: 'the little _wankers_ aren't being paid at all'!" Lily shook her head at him. He shrugged, "Oops…"

"And you also shouldn't swear in front of them. They're young, and I don't think their parents would appreciate it."

"You swore too!" Sirius cried indignantly.

Lily would have argued back, but a first year from near-by had protested. "Hey! We are not young! We know more than him;" she pointed at Sirius, "swear words as well!"

Sirius laughed and Lily looked affronted. The little girl raised her eyebrows at Sirius, and started into a string of profanities and large words, half of which were things like 'infinitesimal brain', and 'brainless, imperceptive, simple-minded, naïve, thickheaded, dull-witted pillock'. Lily stepped away from the little girl, and Sirius glared at her, open-mouthed.

The little girl looked satisfiedly at Lily and said, "See!", before throwing her own t-shirt back at Sirius and skipping off somewhere.

"Creepy little smart girl!" Sirius moaned pathetically, clutching Lily's arm. "Mummy! Wait, no, ick! Scratch that; Aunty! No, dammit! What's with all the freakin' evil cow family members? Cousin Andromeda!"

"It's okay Sirius, the little girl isn't going to hurt you," Lily patted his arm speechlessly.

"Whoa! Do I even wanna know?" Christine laughed at Sirius (who was still whimpering), and Lily (who was still shocked).

"This little…" Lily started, but Sirius interrupted.

"This evil demon little girl yelled at us! She started talking and I couldn't understand any of it! It was creepy, man! Like a mini version of you! Brrr…"

"OH, yeah, that's Caitlin! She's so cool. She really is a lot like me; sarcastic, witty, smart… Oh, yeah, that and she gets much pleasure out of torturing you… See, she's smart!"

"Well, she said more swear words just then, then I've ever heard at one time in my life, even counting that time when I blew up Petunia's bed by accident," Lily said. They all stood in silence for a minute, thinking, when another first year was spotted taking a break. Sirius snapped out of his trance and chased the kid around the statue of Boris the Bewildered.

Caitlin popped up behind Lily to say, "He never learns, does he?" Lily just laughed.

_Author's Note: Hiya! And that's our Sirius… Sorry about those big words; I don't use (or understand…) most of them, so here are the meanings: 'infinitesimal brain' - tiny brain, 'brainless, imperceptive, simple-minded, naïve, thickheaded, dull-witted pillock' – stupid moron. Did that help clear everything up? Good. If you guys already knew that, you're much smarter than me... Ah, well… So, did you like the chapter? I thought it was okay…I just love the idea of Sirius being frightened by a cute little girl. She was actually based on one of my friends (whom I think has strange powers…). So, the next chapter is about the snowball fight which, yes, I'm focusing too much on, but oh well, in one more chappy, it'll be over and done with. It's called War… Original, huh? Anyway, the snowball fights' just some useless fluff, but chapter nineteen has some darkness (including a love scene with Voldemort; I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, and it kind of is… It was creepy and hard to write…). _

_This is a long author's note…_

_So thanks one and all for the lovely reviews, though some of my old reviewers didn't review. Sniff. And please tell me in reviews if you change your username; it slows the confusion somewhat. I was also just having a random thought. Hehe. What would happen if all of the new reviewers I have reviewed every single one of my chapters that they haven't reviewed? That would give me (tries to do quick mental-math but fails dismally and ends up huddled on the floor rocking back and forth massaging my aching head…)… lots of reviews! Let's try it sometime… (hinthint…). Hehe. Here are my thankyous; I love you guys:_

_**crazylily:** My first reviewer… I'm not at liberty to say… -speaking in whispers and doing sneaky walk sliding along walls humming mission impossible theme and making fake hand gun- Hehe. You know too much; now I must kill you! No, seriously, you suspect Enid of doing such a mean thing to her best guy and girl friends? She's not that mean… Thanks for reviewing!_

_**sittingcow:** My second reviewer… I agree with you on the Aaron Carter thing (you would think he and Jesse McCartney would be an item by now…). Hehe. But the Carter Hall in my fic is NOT GAY! HE'S DATING LILY, for the love of mushrooms! Actually, I hate mushrooms… They're all slimy and icky… And why is it that you want me to kill Lily so much? What's she ever done to you (ignoring the fact that she's a figment of my and J. K. Rowlings' imaginations…)? Oh well. Thanks for reviewing!_

_**youkaigirl64:** My fourth reviewer… Glad you liked the chapter. Sorry I didn't update that soon. Thanks for reviewing!_

_**22Aeris:** My fifteenth reviewer… Whoot for the Beatles! Sucks that half of them are dead. Morbid thought BEGONE! Anyway, I'm glad you "LOVE THIS FIC". Hope this one lived up to expectations. Thanks for reviewing!_

_**littleblackdove:** My eighteenth reviewer… Damn straight Lily should love James! It will happen eventually though; take comfort in that… Sorry that Carter wasn't the bad guy… That time… Hehe… The plot thickens… Thanks for reviewing! _

**_vegitarians will_**_** rule the earth:** My twenty-first reviewer… Glad you love it. Yay. –insert your own sarcastic comment here- I've used up my sarcasm for the day, and the sarcastic comment store closes at 2:00… Thanks for_ _reviewing!_

_**MiYu.Lara:** My twenty-fifth reviewer… Yes, I added the snowballs… And now you can't get rid of them! MWUAHAHA! So, yeah. Try giving your duckies his sweater and see if they can trace his scent… If not, then point them to the Three Broomsticks and give the treats for 'finding him'… Hehe. And about Dumbledore, I love picturing him as a crazy cool old dude who spends his life prying into the lives of his students for fun. Ahh, the entertainment it provides me with… Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

**_BigBlackDog13_**_ My twenty-seventh reviewer… Hardly any snow? How do you survive? Where the Hell do you live? The frickin' desert or something (actually, I once lived in a desert; nice beaches, but still…)? Oh well. Lydia was temporarily possessed by all the forces of evil, so she wasn't thinking straight when she killed the chocolate (of course, I found them and ate them afterwards anyway…). And of course Lily's a butt for siding with Carter… But he is hot, so there's the upside to it. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

_**fifimaxi:** My twenty-eighth reviewer… Glad you like my fic. Any author is glad to know when their work is appreciated (have I used that line somewhere before…). Thanks for reviewing!_

_**CazTehFrog:** My twenty-ninth reviewer… Courgettes… Mmmm… HUH? Oh, whoops… Drifted of for a second there… Anywa, I'm really sorry about my brutal murdering of the French language. Never have been good at it (but I do like French class; just ask Jenny). Okay, let's pretend he's from somewhere else in France (picks name of place furthest away from Paris). And I have nothing against French people. Nothing at all! Like them actually! Love them, in fact. Until they start talking in French (people talking fast-in-French scares me… Maybe I should add in the summary of my fic; "CAUTION; do not read if you are French, German, Gay, Ugly, or a fan of the Backstreet Boys, because author will undoubtedly make fun of you to no ends with or without meaning to. Oh, and maybe the English shouldn't read this either… Or J. K. Rowling…". Better? Your English is actually really good for someone who is apparently French… Or are you just lying to make me feel guilty for taking a perfectly nice language and shredding it to pieces, before spitting on it, jumping on it, and riding a heard of killer bunnies up and down it… Nope, you're right! Whether you actually are French or not, I deserve to be made to feel guilty for the entire rest of my childhood life (and adult, if I continue to mock people perilously and on purpose – well, not always on purpose, as in the case of the French, but the others had it coming… – THAT WAS A JOKE! THE OTHER PEOPLE – AND THE FRENCH - ROCK MY SOCKS!...). I like the description 'walking cliché'. Hehe. This is the longest response(more like apology) that I've written so far, I think. Sorry for making you cry because I have no talent for writing (at all, but accents especially). Thanks for reviewing!_

_**HogwartsHottie:** My latest reviewer… I love screwing with peoples' relationships! After 16 chapters, how can you not know this about me? Hehe. And Lily and James will get together true to canon (anyone got any idea why that's always spelt like that and not 'cannon', like the word is actually supposed to be written?...), in their 7th year, but they will become friends again before that. As for Lydia and Sirius, think what you want, but you will have to wait to find out, won't you? MWUAHAHA! Glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing!_

_There. Your review responses take up at least half of my chapters. Ha. So, about the length of your reviews… Hows (hehe) about we work out a system where for every other time you review, you write a lovely lengthy one, and then for the other times you review, you write ones of any length? This ensures that I get long reviews at least half of the time, and also that you guys get long responses at least half of the time. Sounds fair to me. Let's start now with the long ones, and then next time, it's any length again…_

_OH, AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW HOW EVIL AN AUTHOR I AM, READ crazylily's REVIEW RESPONSE IN THE LAST CHAPTER, BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S WHERE I TELL YOU GUYS SOME STUFF… That I shouldn't be telling you, but oh well…_

_So, yup. Will update soon (which by my standards means 'some time in the next two weeks'…). Love you all. And can you all tell me your birthdays in you reviews? Maybe I can work out a birthday updating schedule. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	18. War

_Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to all summer-through-now birthdays, plus the NEW HARRY POTTER FILM! AHHHHH! I went to see it on premiere night (for Canada) with one of my friends at 10:30. The showing ended at 1:30 so we got home around 2:00 in the morning. So much fun (loved the bath scene… Daniel Radcliffe in the bath… Hehe…). It rox my sox. Seriously. We were laughing so hard I almost fell out of my seat, choked on my slushie, and almost cried. The learning to dance scene rules. Hehe. I'll stop. Now read and enjoy and review even if I should have played Hermione in the films. Humph. Some of my friends (including me, of course) actually think I should have, so ha. This chapter is still just a fun filler. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Chapter eighteen - War

"Okay, we need to figure out what kind of ammunition we will be using in our battle! Anyone with ideas or suggestions may come to me," Sirius' voice boomed through the packed Common Room. There were a lot of girls there (because of Sirius, James and Remus), but some guys too.

"It's a snowball fight; shouldn't we be using snowballs?" Lily called out. Enid had dragged her along because Lydia had refused to come.

"NO! That's totally old school. Geez! No one actually expects you to use snowballs! Because… Wait… That's good, really good!" Sirius faltered.

A couple of the girls exclaimed, "What, Sirius? Tell us!"

"Well, no one actually _expects_ us to use them… So that's what we'll do! Snowballs! Thank you Lily! Take a bow!"

The girls clapped and swooned. Lily rolled her eyes and hit herself on the head. Hard!

—————

A slow, thumping battle march was playing. Lily felt ridiculous as she followed her friends outside to the grounds. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were already outside, watching the approaching Griffindors from their forts.

Sirius was at the head of his line. He was really in his element, Lily thought. And she was right. After all, who can't picture Sirius leading troops into a snowball battle…?

"To the fort!" Sirius called out to the Griffindors. There was a stampede to get to the Griffindor Snow Fort (which was really an ice-wall with a small room on one side) without being hit by charms from the Ravenclaws, or ice-resistant plants by the Hufflepuffs. Weird.

————

The snowball fight had been going on for about an hour, when a well aimed explosion from the Slytherins, melted the last part of the Hufflepuff fort. Half of the Hufflepuffs ran to the Ravenclaw Fort, and the other half ran to Griffindor for shelter. Sirius was thoroughly enjoying himself.

"Sir, should we let them in?" Peter asked Sirius, who was lounging about in an ice-chair that he had conjured up. Sirius grinned, barked "Indubitably Private! Now get lost!", and tossed James another warm firewhiskey (cunningly disguised in butterbeer bottles).

James grinned back and put his legs up on the ice-desk in front of him, leaning back in his own ice-chair.

"Oi!" The ice-door slammed open suddenly, causing both boys to fall off their chairs. Sirius scrambled to get up, and tried to look somewhat dignified, even though he had spilled his 'butterbeer' all over himself.

Enid looked like she was going to laugh for a second, but changed her mind and folded her arms.

"Shouldn't you be off somewhere, fixing something?" Sirius grumbled, mad that it was only Enid. She bristled, "And shouldn't you two be doing _something_? You lazy buggers; get up!"

"You can't order us around!" Sirius cried indignantly. "We're the Griffindor leaders!"

"Yeah!" James agreed. "Sod off!"

"Make me! And what would the people actually _working_ on the fort say if they could see you now, huh? There'd be blood to pay!"

"Y-y-ou won't tell them, will you, nice boss lady?" Sirius stammered.

"I only have one thing to say…" Enid said, stoney-faced.

James cowered and said, "W-w-hich is?"

"Gi's a firewhiskey!" Enid broke into a grin and drew herself an ice-chair. Sirius and James laughed with relief.

"Whew! She's one of us!"

"Jesus, you had us goin' for a minute there!"

"I know! I'm brilliant!"

"Hey James, aren't _we_ supposed to be the cocky ones?"

"Hey, that's right! She stole our personalites!"

"Shut up!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

————

The fall of Ravenclaw came next. The Griffindors were actually the ones to take them down, with Sirius and James being more enthusiastic than they had been for the fall of Hufflepuff… (wonder why…).

Peter knocked on the door to inform his 'leaders' of the Ravenclaw refugees at their walls. Of course, James and Sirius already knew, because they had been watching gleefully out of their window.

"We know, Wormtail, we know! Let them in and make them work extra hard! Oh, but don't let Hall in! Leave him out there with the Slytherins" James sniggered. Sirius agreed, but coughed something that sounded remarkably like 'jealous'. James punched him.

Enid just laughed at them both and scoffed, "Lily's gonna kill you when she finds out!"

"Oh, who cares?"

"You will. Trust me, you will!"

The door swung open again, and Sirius and James screamed like little girls. Enid fell about laughing as they scrambled around the room, eventually settling on 'under the ice-desk' for a suitable hiding place.

"What _are_ you doing?" a confused voice came from above them.

James' eyes appeared over the tabletop, and he relaxed when he saw Remus standing in the doorway.

"Oh My God man! Don't do that to us!"

"Sorry. I'll make a mental note not to open doors…"

"Moony! Buddy! So glad to see you! We missed you so much!" Sirius jumped out from under the table and rushed at Remus, wiping a few pretend (or possibly real ones - of relief…) tears from his eyes.

"What the Hell?" Remus stammered as his friend flung himself at him. "Did you let him at the fire whiskey again?" he grunted at James from the floor, remembering the time last year when Sirius had made moves on Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and a few random male students; all because James had given him a flask of firewhiskey.

"No." James said, smiling at the memory of the month of detentions Sirius and he had received for that.

"O-k then… Well, why were you under the table then? Is there something you're not telling me…?" Remus tried to shove Sirius off him, but failed dismally, because Sirius was lying across him, rendering him unable to move his arms.

"They ordered Peter to keep Carter Hall outside. Lily's gonna kill them. Now they're paranoid," Enid giggled.

"AAhhh… Now I understand. But – Sirius, get the Hell off me!" Remus jerked his knee to the side, so that it collided with Sirius' ahem stomach… Sirius groaned and rolled off him, clutching himself and whimpering.

This was all more than Enid could take; she dissolved into another fit of the giggles. Sirius glared at her through groans. Remus sat up and rubbed his stomach (his _actual_ stomach), where Sirius had landed on him.

James was laughing too, but he regained enough composure, when he saw Carter Hall standing at the side gate of the Griffindor Fort/wall, to shoot a stream of snow at him, with his wand. Carter was knocked over, and looked frantically around to see who shot the snow at him. He saw James sticking his head out of the window and waving sarcastically. Carter swore and aimed a hex at him, which James dodged easily, due to the fact that Carter was aiming from the ground, at James.

A minute or so later, the door was flung open again, and the same mad dash to the desk was made, this time by three (James, Sirius, and Remus). They was relieved to see that it was only Peter standing in the doorway this time, and Sirius was so relieved that he claimed that he would 'never be startled again'. Of course, he had to proven wrong just for the heck of it, so the door opened again, this time revealing a livid Lily.

All four boys were under the table now, and Enid had to stuff her whole hand in her mouth to stop herself from falling apart completely.

"Where is he?" Lily demanded of Enid. Enid shrugged and laughed hysterically. Lily glowered at her and stamped over to the desk, wand out. The boys cowered as her foot steps drew closer.

"You!" Lily pinned James with a glare that could have killed custard (I know that doesn't make sense, but it just sounds right, doesn't it?).

"Yes?" James stammered. Sirius _coughed _'whipped' into his hand, and Remus snorted with laughter, but James kicked him and Lily glared at him too.

"You… Carter… You… Stupid… Problems… Have… ARRGGGHH!" Lily seemed to be so mad that she couldn't string a full sentence together. James made the mistake of laughing at her cute attempt to yell at him. Lily lost it totally and shot several complex curses at the boys before storming out of the room and most likely outside.

Remus reversed the hexes upon all of them, because Enid was laughing too hard to help, and James got up angrily. He and Sirius walked to the window and let off some steam by shooting more snow at Carter, who was still at the gate asking for Lily. James smirked when Carter looked his way, and Carter glared at him.

"Carter! I'm sorry! It was Potter being a prick, and he just…" Lily met Carter at the side gate and started issuing apologies for James and Sirius' behaviour. He stopped her by touching a finger to her lips and smiling lopsidedly. Her heart (along with a few other girls' because Carter is bloody almost as gorgeous as James and Sirius) melted.

Carter kissed her gently to show her that it was fine, and not her fault. She blushed. Enid stuck her head out of the window and catcalled loudly. A couple other girls from different windows 'awww-ed' and 'oohh-ed', causing Lily to blush even more.

Carter just grinned and kissed her again, putting his arms around her. She took his hand and started for the castle. He smirked smugly at James as they passed that window, and James clenched his fists. This made Enid laugh even more.

————

Later that day, in the Common Room, Sirius was sitting in the midst of a crowd. Of girls. Of slutty, boy-crazy, tarty, girls. Lydia smiled to herself knowingly. She had been watching from her doorway for the last ten minutes. Sirius hadn't seen her. No one had. The girls were all too wrapped up in his heroic story of how he had lead Griffindor to victory in the Snowball Fight.

'_You know, it might not be such a bad thing that you broke up,'_ she thought sadly. _'He's still a player, after all.'_ Then, the nasty voice in the back of her head cut in, _'**Ahh, but you thought you'd changed him, didn't you? You thought you had put a stop to his** **'love-em-an-leave-em' ways. **Shut up! Can't you just leave me alone? I knew it was going to happen sometime. **Yes, but you didn't want it to, did you? **He's still a player! I can't go out with him while he's like that. **But he's also, still Sirius! Why don't you just go over there and flirt with him? He'll take you back, no questions asked. **NO! I'm not forgiving him until he learns to pick a girl and stick to her. He's a jealous… jealous… jealous flirt, and I hate him! **No you don't. You want him back more than ever, seeing him surrounded by pretty girls. You're just as jealous as him. Aren't you? **NO! Just piss off, will you? I hate you too! He can do what ever the hell he wants, I don't care! **Yes you do. **No I don't! **Yes you do.** NO, I don't! **Yes you do.'**_

"NO, I FREAKIN' DON'T!" Oops, she had accidentally said the last part out loud, making the crowd of girls around Sirius turn. Sirius saw her and grinned, as he thought she was speaking to him. She clapped a hand to her mouth and shrank back into her room. Sirius' grin faded and he turned to James, who was sitting beside him. "Was that good or bad for me, Prongs?" James shrugged sympathetically.

"Bye guys," Lily emerged from the girls' dorm calling back to her friends. Some muffled 'goodbyes' came from the other side of the now-closed door. Lily shook her head and skipped down the stairs.

"Hey," Enid looked up from her spot on one of the couches. "You leaving now?"

"Yup." Lily said simply, pulling a sweater over her white tank top.

"Have fun. And remember what I was saying about guys. You can only trust them to be 'the one', if they can catch you if you fall." Enid grinned. Lily rolled her eyes and pointed out that she wasn't going to be testing that theory willingly any time soon. Enid really did have some pretty weird theories.

_-Flashback-_

_Earlier that day, a conversation in the girls' dormitories:_

"_Enid?" Lily stuck her head through Enid's bed curtains. Enid was reading an old edition of 'Quidditch Weekly', sprawled out on her bed._

"_Yup?" Enid rolled over onto her back._

"_I have a question."_

"_Okay, shoot." Enid closed her magazine and sat up to make room for Lily on the mattress._

"_How do you know when you've found 'the one'?" Lily asked, sitting down beside her friend._

"_Take your wand out in the middle of a circle of hot guys and say 'point me'?" Enid laughed. _

_Lily rolled her eyes and said, "I'm serious!"_

_Enid opened her mouth, still grinning, to respond, but Lily stopped her. "Don't make any Sirius-serious jokes, please."_

"_Fine," Enid pouted. "So you think Carter's 'the one', do you? Well, my theory is that he can always be trusted to catch you. Like, if you're on a bridge about to fall, and then you do, he would always be the to catch you."_

"_Not necessarily Carter… just in general."_

"_Well then, yeah. I know it sounds too sappy for me, but really, if he will always catch you and have your back, then he's good. But you have to feel something too. Like if Peter caught me (if I ever fell over, that is, because you know I _never_ fall over), then he wouldn't be my 'one' (not by a long shot!), because I'm not attracted to him like that (or like anything, really)." _

"_Okay. Thanks," Lily smiled._

_Enid returned the gesture and got up to go, her foot catching in her rucksack strap, causing her to fall headfirst into their bookshelf._

"_I'm okay!" she called sheepishly up to Lily from the floor. Lily laughed. _

_-End Flashback-_

"Where are you going?" asked Sirius, who had missed the previous conversation.

"Not that it's any of your business," Lily said huffily, "But _I_ have a date."

"You're not still going out with that prick?" Sirius grimaced. Lily scowled.

"Yes I am. He's nice, and really, really hot," Lily and Enid exchanged grins. Then Lily stalked away from Enid and Sirius to the Portrait Hole.

James had been listening grumpily, and he jumped up and followed her out of the Portrait Hole.

"OI!" he hollered to get her attention. Lily jumped; she had only been a few feet away from him.

"WHAT!" she hollered back. She was still rather peeved about what he had done to Carter earlier, so she didn't really mind breaking _his_ eardrums.

"You might want to re-schedule your 'date'," he said slyly.

"Why would I want to do that, Potter?" Lily sighed.

"Because you have Quidditch Practice." _'Okay, that was a lie,'_ James thought. He didn't even know why he was lying. He probably just wanted to stop Lily from going out (with that moron) and having a good time (with that moron), because he hated her… Yeah, that was it….

"What?" Lily shook her head. "No I don't!"

"It's a last minute thing. We need to practice." James lied.

"What! Since when do we need impromptu practices? We're the best damn team in the whole stinkin' school!" Lily shouted.

"Ah, but we didn't get that way by being cocky, did we now? You need to get your priorities straight."

Lily's jaw dropped in anger. It took her a few seconds to regain the power of speech, but when she did, she was scary. _'Deep breath in, deep breath out, Lily. You'll never get to be Head Girl if you murder Potter. Relax!'_

"Fine!" Lily hissed quietly. "I will. I quit!"

And with that, she turned on her heel and stormed down the hallway.

'_Oh Shit!' _James thought. _That_ wasn't what he had been expecting.

————

Lily had stamped all the way down to the Entrance Hall, where she was supposed to meet Carter.

"Hey," he smiled when he saw her. "What kept you?"

"Sorry. Psycho Quidditch Captain – sorry. _Ex_-Quidditch Captain."

"Oh, you quit? Why?"

"Potter. He just enjoys making my life miserable! So, where're we going?"

"Well, have you eaten?" Carter asked, taking her hand. Lily nodded and he said "Good, because I didn't really have a dinner planned out. I thought we could just head down to the lake and watch the sunset."

"Sounds wonderful," Lily sighed dreamily. He flashed her a dazzling smile and led her out of the castle.

Little did Lily know it, but at that very moment, in the darkest and coldest dungeon of the castle, an evil plot was afoot. Not that evil, but evil enough…

The conversation went something like this:

"Malfoy, I still don't know why we're concentrating on Snape's little 'revenge plan', when we should be doing something useful, to help our master!" a young woman snarled at Lucius Malfoy. She glared suspiciously in Snape's direction.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Malfoy replied in his sleek drawl. "The Dark Lord has ordered us to do this little thing for him. It just happens to fit in with what Snape wants. You of all people should understand this."

Bellatrix glared at Malfoy and rubbed her left shoulder, where the Dark Mark burned in her pale skin. Snape stood up in his corner and spoke quietly, but firmly, "The Dark Lord knows of the strong and powerful. He has his reasons for wanting to be rid of Potter and his friends."

Rudolphus LeStrange stood and spoke for the first time since he had entered that dungeon room. "Why Potter though? He's a pureblood. As is Black."

"AAhhh, but my dear cousin is the white sheep of the family," Bellatrix scowled. "Dear Sirius is a Griffindor and will not easily be persuaded to join the Dark Lord. My Aunt just remarried, and I think her new husband will be much more suited to her needs. And ours."

"But Bella," Bellatrix's sister, Narcissa said quietly. "Just because our Aunt has seen the light, doesn't mean that her son will. Sirius Black has always been a head-strong, independent boy, and will probably not be as easily influenced. By his step-father or not."

"Cissy, think! Black will hardly refuse if the Dark Lord threatens him. And the Dark Lord wants to be rid of Potter, because he is Dumbledore's man through and through. Not all purebloods are like us."

_(A/N: I thought it was cute to have someone describe James the same way as Harry in HBP. I don't own that saying-ish thing)._

"So how do we go about getting rid of him then? I don't think that it will be that easy," Rudolphus sat down again.

Lucius stroked his chin thoughtfully and answered, "The Dark Lord did say that we have time. We have time enough to plot everything out. If they won't join us, then we dispose of them. Though, when we do, we need to be discreet, and make it look as if they were accidents."

"So we don't have to act now?"

"No. We don't, because Narcissa and Snape will be here for one or two years more, and we can act through them. We can try though; if ever the opportune moment arises."

"Well," Snape said maliciously, "Evans is by the lake now. I saw her going up there with Hall."

"Are you suggesting we drown her?" Bellatrix raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I am."

"Why her?"

"Because she's one of the ones we need to get rid of, and this seems to be, as Lucius put it, 'the opportune moment'."

"Just because you want Potter to suffer, doesn't mean we should rush into everything and risk screwing it up!" Bellatrix snapped.

"I am just trying to do what I have been instructed to do. If you are not so devoted to the Dark Lord as I, then you will not understand!" Snape sneered.

"You know _nothing_ of my relationship to the Dark Lord!" Bellatrix's eyes flashed a dark red colour. "I am more loyal to him than you could ever know!"

"If you say so."

"I DO!" she screeched. Narcissa ran to her and clapped a hand across her mouth saying quickly, "Bella, hush now, or we will be discovered! We cannot afford to blow our covers."

Bellatrix slapped her sister smartly across her face, threw a menacing glare at Snape, and swept out of the dungeon. Narcissa felt her cheek, where her sister's fist had struck, and winced. She glared after her sister. Rudolphus, had he not been such an idiot, might have understood the look that flashed briefly across Snape's face to be one of concern, but, he didn't, because it was there and gone so quickly, that it might not have been at all.

Lucius, whom Narcissa was dating, just crossed his arms and glared at Snape, without so much as a _look_ towards his girlfriend. "Do what you please, but remember, _Severus_, that you will have much to pay and speak for if you make any wrong moves. Also remember, that the Dark Lord does not easily forgive!"

"I know this, Lucius. I will not make any wrong moves. I am not afraid of Potter and his little friends," Snape snarled at Malfoy. Then he too left the dungeon for the lake side.

————

Once out of the castle and in the grounds, Snape slunk behind a bush. _(A/N: That sounds so weird, doesn't it…)._

His eyes darted all around him, searching madly for Lily. He finally spotted her, on the opposite bank with Carter. They were laughing about something and kissing.

'_Filthy mudblood!'_ Snape thought evilly.

He saw Lily stand up and walk to the edge of the lake, so he raised his wand. He was half way through the spell, when he was hexed from behind.

"What the bloody Hell d'you think you're doing, eh Snivelly?" James yelled. Snape had picked the wrong bush to hide in; it was the one in front of the one that James had been spying from.

"Potter!" Snape struggled to a sitting position through the leg-locker curse.

"Now that we've got the introduction, why were you lurking in the bushes?"

"Prongs mate, I've been looking everywhere for… Snivelly. How nice." Sirius had bounded down the castle steps to find James towering over Snape.

"I found him sneaking around in the bushes and he's not talking. What d'you reckon we should do with him, Padfoot?"

"There's nothing you two _could_ do to me that would affect me much," Snape sneered.

Sirius' eye flashed and he and James exchanged grim looks. "D'you hear that Prongs? Old Snivellus doesn't think us capable opponents."

"I heard Padfoot. And I must say, I'm insulted, Snape, that you don't believe in us. And after all this time, too." James shook his head sarcastically.

"So, you want to do the honours, or shall I?" Sirius grinned.

James decided that he wanted to have some fun, and he raised his wand again. "_Hue-sonata-rose_," he whispered. Snape's usually greasy-black hair turned a hot pink shade. Sirius laughed and pulled out his own wand.

"If we're playing like that," Sirius paused dramatically and uttered his own spell. "_Cheveu-spiktum_."

Snape's pink hair stood on end and spiked. James fell about laughing.

"My turn again," James smirked at Snape, who was white with fury. By this time, a small gathering of people had collected on the castle steps. They were all watching on in awe and amusement.

James waved his wand and said, "_Carpe-facialis_."

Everyone on the steps burst into applause as luminous make up appeared all over Snape's face. He looked rather like an overdone hooker. James turned to the audience and gave a little bow. Sirius thought for a minute, about how to best finish off Snape's new look. He reached the decision a moment later, and said, "_Dressius-comme-Frank's-Mum_."

Everyone laughed again when they saw the red dress Snape was wearing. It was fur trimmed, had white high heeled shoes, and was topped off with a stuffed eagle hat. He even had a handbag swinging from an arm that he couldn't move. James and Sirius grinned at each other and smirked at Snape, who glared fiercely.

"Good job Padfoot, mate."

"And the same to you Prongs. We done good."

"Who woulda thunk that Snape could look attractive. Or, sort of…"

"Yeah, attractive's going a little over the top…"

————————————

On the other side of the lake, Lily was balancing on the edge of the bank. Carter called out and told her to be careful, because she was wearing nice clothes (it was obviously a joke…).

"You think I'll fall in, do you?" she joked back. "Well, you're rather mistaken, I'm afraid. I'm a dancer, and dancers have good balance!"

"Sure, sure. I believe you," Carter laughed. Of course, here, poetic justice had to step in, and Lily had to step on a soft part of the bank, and go toppling into the lake.

Carter had been standing an arms-length away from her, but didn't try to catch her in time.

"Shit, that's cold!" Lily exclaimed when she surfaced. Carter grinned at her and extended an arm for her to grab. She gave him a mischievous look that clearly said, 'If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me,' and he pulled his arm back.

"Lily Ann Evans, if you pull me in, I swear I will drown you! I have quidditch later."

"AAwww… You're no fun! Fine, I won't pull you in."

"Promise? I'll go swimming with you some other time."

"I promise," Lily giggled. Carter reached over and pulled her out easily.

"I officially hate the lake!" Lily grumbled when the air touched her wet clothes, making them even colder than before.

"Well, I'm sure you'll make up, one day." Carter chuckled. "But now we have to get you inside to change. Don't want you to catch a cold!"

"You act like my father," Lily muttered sulkily. Carter said that he hoped not, because then he couldn't kiss her. And then he kissed her. She smiled.

"What happened to you?" Sirius snorted with laughter when he saw a dripping wet Lily and a dry-as-a-bone Carter.

Lily rolled her eyes and walked past him. James opened his mouth to say something to her, but closed it again when he saw Carter put his arm around Lily. Snape, of course, had been sent away by James and Sirius a few minutes before, to find a Slytherin (not under the leg-locker curse) to put him right. He still had to roam the school looking like Frank Longbottom's mother-turned-hooker-turned-punk. A creepy but amusing mix.

———————

Lily was greeted with Sirius' question quite a lot as she and Carter walked up to Griffindor Tower. She asked Carter to wait outside the Portrait Hole, and went inside to put on some dry clothes.

"What happened to you?" Lydia gasped. She was lying on her bed reading a muggle magazine from Lily's Christmas present to her. Christine was curled up on the other end of the bed, reading a textbook for her Arithmancy class.

"That seems to be the question of the day," Lily grumbled to herself, completely forgetting to answer Lydia's question.

"What?" Lydia sat up.

"I fell in the lake." Lily said quickly. "Have you seen my blue top?"

"The dark blue one?"

"That's the one."

"On your desk chair," Christine answered for Lydia.

"Oh. Thanks." Lily grabbed the shirt and peeled off her other, wet one. She dropped it into the laundry basket and yanked the other one over her head. Christine took the opportunity to change the topic back to Lily being all wet. She asked Lily if she had been with Carter when she fell in, and Lily told her that she had.

Christine shrugged and suppressed a giggle that Lily had actually fallen in the lake. Lily saw the smile flicker across her friend's face and told her to do something very unpleasant.

_Author's Note: You guys like? I thought it was cute. And I am totally holding Carter to his promise of going swimming with Lily, because that means him with no shirt on – did I mention the Daniel Radcliffe scene in Goblet of Fire? - (even if he is imaginary – well, everyone has imaginary friends at some point, don't they?). Here come the thank yous (with, by the way, take me a LONG LONG LONG LONG time to write, so you'd all better bloody-well appreciate them! Hehe…):_

_crazylily: My first reviewer… Okey-dokey… Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! I'm so happy that you reviewed MY story on your sixteenth. That's so happy. Yay! And yeah, maybe reading your review would help… But it wasn't a completely obvious hint (except for the line 'you know too much', ya dig?). Wait… I just re-read stuff and it was the review response I gave you in chapter 16, not 17, so yeah… BIG HINTS THERE MAN… So yup. Happy Birthday again and I'm sorry I took so long to update… Oh yeah, and I am not 15, but I love that people think so. Thanks for reviewing!_

_sittingcow: My second reviewer… 'Interesting' idea for a plot line… Effing…? Gossip Girl, right? Sorry, but one of my friends is currently obsessed by those books, and she got that from them. My sister taught it to me on msn… I like. Carter is not g… Wait a sec… Ideas… Hehe. Thanks for reviewing! _

_youkaigirl64: My fourth reviewer…Hehe. Who says Lily is going to break up with Carter? Maybe she'll ditch James completely and stay with him for ever… Ever thought about that, huh? Well maybe you should… Hehe. Glad you liked it and, again, what is with everyone hating the names of the characters in my fic? Oh well… Thanks for reviewing! _

_lovely ravenclaw: My ninth reviewer… Hmmm… I guess I'm not as subtle as I thought then, huh… Oh well. And you will have to wait and see what happens with that plot line… I guess I feel bad for Lydia too, but I also feel bad for Sirius (firstly he's being so clueless, and secondly, did you read this chapter? he's so confused now –' was that good or bad for me?' ). I throw another curve ball (more like fireball, actually…) at Lydia and Sirius a bit later in the story. HINTHINTHINT! Hehe. Carter was going to be evil, but I just watched the GoF film, and he reminds me of Cedric (only hotter), so I can't bring myself to do that. Hmmm… Oh, and happy belated birthday. Thanks for reviewing!_

_22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… Glad you like it. Wait, why do you feel bad for James? Have I done something evil to him recently? Oh well. By 'little demon', I assume you meant Caitlin? Yeah, well, if so, I like her too. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

_littleblackdove: My eighteenth reviewer…I avoided too much 'love' in the Voldemort scene, but it's still there… Ick. Nope. Not 17. And I know my chapters are getting slightly off the plot, but I am doing that on purpose because I needed filler chapters (hence the snowball fight) until I could write the plot-ty parts. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing! _

_vegitarians will__ rule the earth: My twenty-first reviewer…Yeah, that reviewer would be named sittingcow… I wont kill Lily though, so don't worry… Or wait… Will I?... Hehe. The plot thickens…I love that you love it. Thanks for reviewing! _

_MiYu.Lara: My twenty-fifth reviewer…Yes Slughorn is the potions master (says HBP and JKR), but I started this before then, so I have a plan for switching them. See; I'm not that dumb (actually, someone else pointed that out to me, but oh well…). Thanks for reviewing! _

_Ilana Potter__: My thirty-first reviewer…Glad you liked the story. Love and _Hershey_ kisses back to you. Thanks for reviewing!_

_bedofblackroses__: My thirty-second reviewer…Was that sarcasm with the 'what WILL happen next'? I suck at recognizing sarcasm (and it's so much harder on the computer because you can't hear the sarcasm in the voices…). THERE'S GONNA BE A SNOWBALL FIGHT – DUH! Sorry, that _was_ sarcasm. Whoot! Dontcha love snowballs? I like it when I screw with the relationships too… Thanks for reviewing!_

_Hapi Djus__: My latest reviewer…What is this; some sort of club? Why does everyone gang up on Carter and Enid's names? Meh. Yup, I'm 13. You are too? Cool. Do you live in Canada? Or have I met you in England? If ou live in England, do you know Daniel Radcliffe? (Sorry… Just saw the new film on Friday night… I was at the cinema until 1:30 in the morning – that's 1:30! – I had to go on premiere night). Thanks for complimenting my writing. I don't fish for complements (much…), but I always appreciate them when they come. Thanks for reviewing!_

_On a random, Goblet of Fire note, something happened in the movie, and I thought 'what the bloody hell was that', and then Rupert Grint said exactly the same thing. You know you've been watching/reading Harry Potter a lot when… Thanks for reviewing guys! I hope you liked this chapter. Lots of love. Please review to make me happy. And my friends will be eternally grateful because it will stop me talking about Harry Potter/Daniel Radcliffe/Robert Pattinson as Cedric Diggory – DUDE! THEY ARE ALL SO DAMN HOT AND HP IS TOTALLY HOLY ! (for a few minutes at least… hehe…). The next chapter is called Evil's Lurking and it even creeps me out (but that might just be the whole 'Voldemort-love affair' thing…). Bubbles!_

_-Kat _


	19. Evil's Lurking

_Author's Note: Nothing really to say. Except that I am unbelievably sorry for the wait. This has been sitting on my computer for such a long time (you will kill me for this, but I think months), and I just haven't updated it (no excuses; I just _haven't_ for some unidentified reason). I have been having a little dry spell of writing (writer's block, I think it's called) and am unbelievably sorry, but I am so disappointed in myself because (along with countless death threats sitting in my inbox), I am only three-quarters of a chapter ahead in my writing. I'm trying to find time to write, and Christmas break is in about two days so maybe then I will have time to get up at six in the morning (in the summer I did that for fun to write) and write. I will try. And consider this an early Christmas prezzie for all my readers. The next chapter is called Easter Break, if I ever finish it that is. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Disclaimer: I should do these more often. Don't want anybody suing me because they think I am J. K. Rowling, all because I didn't add a disclaimer often enough. If they did sue me, however, and took everything I owned, they would get nothing. Except maybe a shoebox and possibly a used piece of cherry trident gum. Get the picture? And if I was J. K. Rowling, Sirius so wouldn't have died in the fifth book. And neither would Cedric in the fourth. And Snape would be gay (not that he isn't already, but…). With Pettigrew. Plus all of the Marauders – minus Peter – although he can admire… from afar… a _very_ far…, Harry, Cedric, the twins, Ron, Bill, Charlie, Seamus, Dean, Viktor Krum, and Draco Malfoy would all be madly in love with me. And Voldemort. Hehe.

Chapter nineteen – Evil's Lurking

A cold breeze rustled the leaves on the near-by trees. It swept through the streets of Hogsmeade, and down all of the side streets, making everyone shiver and speed up their walking. Bellatrix pulled her cloak closer to her body for warmth, and continued her trek up the mountain.

It was not a Hogsmeade weekend for students, and she was not supposed to be out of the castle grounds. Not that she cared about the rules, of course; she just had the feeling that she was being watched.

A whistling sound carried on the breeze and Bellatrix stumbled on her cloak. The wind seemed to be hissing her name.

She picked herself up from the snow and continued up the side of the mountain. After at least half an hour of climbing, Bellatrix found what she was looking for. She brushed a strand of raven hair out of her eyes and looked determinedly at the door in the side of the mountain. She raised her hand and knocked five times fast on the large, wooden door.

It was a few minutes before anything happened. The door started to swing itself slowly open. Bellatrix stepped over the thresh-hold and waited. She waited until she heard the familiar slithering sound.

A second later, a small, baby snake came into view. It was a deep, hunter's green with a silver underbelly. It saw her and hissed softly and continued until footsteps could be heard drawing nearer.

Bellatrix pushed the door closed behind her quietly and waited for the person to turn the corner. He did, and she bowed her head.

"Master," she breathed to the floor.

Voldemort's red eyes glinted in amusement. "Bellatrix," he lifted her head with his pale hand. She did not shiver or draw away at his touch, like many others would have, but instead looked right into his eyes.

"I see you have met Nagini," he gestured towards the small snake on the ground. It was now lurking behind his foot.

"She is beautiful, Master." Bellatrix whispered.

"Come in, Bellatrix, and tell me why you have come."

He took her cloak and led her into a sitting room, where there was a warm fire blazing. He said 'sit' very calmly, and indicated a silk chair beside the fire.

"My Lord," Bellatrix began, but Voldemort held a finger to his lips.

"You are worried, my dear. You think that I don't trust you. You do not understand your latest instructions. You could even be questioning my sanity?"

"Never, my Lord. You know I could never doubt you! I just…"

"Hush, Bella. You must learn when to be quiet," he looked right at her.

It was very unusual that Voldemort should look one of his Death Eaters directly in the eye, and even more unlikely, that they should return the gaze. It was more unlikely still, that he would address them by their first name, and almost never, a childish and affectionate nick-name. Bellatrix tucked another strand of her hair behind her ear.

Voldemort smiled mysteriously at the seventeen-year-old sitting in front of him. In his smile was, obviously, mystery, but also, an inexplicable affection, mixed with longing.

She was beautiful. Long raven hair and dark, cold eyes. But what Voldemort liked most about her, was that he saw much of himself in her. She had his sense of revenge, his strong-willed/determinedness, his stubborn-ness, his arrogance, and most importantly, his thirst for power.

"Now," he began, pacing around her chair. "The Dark Lord has his own reasons for wanting to be rid of certain people. James Potter and his friends will become very powerful as they get older. Unless they agree to join us, which is, though our best choice, most unlikely, they must be removed. Them and all of Dumbledore's followers."

Bellatrix nodded and said, "I understand Master, but I am still worried."

"About what?"

"Snape. I don't trust him. He is always sneaking around and does not discuss plans or orders with Lucius or myself. I really do not trust him."  
"Severus Snape has yet to prove his worth or loyalty. I trust no one, Bellatrix, you should know that. He can be easily dealt with if he tries anything stupid, believe me."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Now come. Let us talk of other things, my dear," Voldemort stroked Bellatrix's cheek with his long pale fingers (ewww… creepy!). She smiled slightly and touched her hand to his own, without flinching.

Tom Riddle pulled her closer and their lips met, pulling them deeply into an embrace.

(A/N: Nagini, being evil and smart, covers her face with the nearest pillow and slithers far, far away… Hehe… Sorry…).

Back at the castle, James was sitting in the Common Room. He was contemplating different ways to get Lily back on the Griffindor Team. Sirius was making him.

Even though James did know that they needed her if they wanted to win the Quidditch cup this year, he was reluctant to go crawling back to her. He hadn't just been jealous when she quit… Nope, not in the least… Though Remus thought otherwise… And Sirius thought otherwise… Peter just didn't think.

Lily was out, yet again, with Carter. James was sulking. Yup, sounds about right…

James lifted his head when he heard the Portrait Hole open, and saw Lily waving to someone he couldn't see, but thought it a likely guess that it was Carter.

"Bye, see you tomorrow," she called, stepping backwards into the Common Room. She turned around, smiling to herself, to see James sitting in an armchair by the fire. "Jesus!" she exclaimed, clutching her chest in panic (chest; heart, not chest; boobs as Sirius would probably imagine when James relived the moment to him up in their dorm…). "Don't do that! Do you want to kill me? Stupid question."

"Wait, we need to talk," James said quickly.

"We've been here before, Potter. And I'm not dating you, so you can't break up with me now," Lily said sarcastically at his use of the 'break-up words'.

"Haha. Very funny." James rolled his eyes. "I meant, we need to talk about the team."

"What team?"

"The Griffindor Team?"

"Oh, that. What about it?"

"We…" James tried to say it, but he couldn't bring himself to. "We… need… you… back… on… the… team."

"Too bad. You shouldn't have pissed me off."

"Look, I don't want to beg, but I will! We need to win the cup. We can't do it without you. Please?"

"Hmmm… Let me think about that…" Lily paused for effect. "No."

"Please, Evans. I'll do anything… Sirius will kill me if you don't say yes!"

"Good. And suggest dull hedge clippers, will you?"

"Ha-bloody-ha. Please?" James got down on one knee and pouted.

"No," she said flatly.

"Please?

"No," she repeated.

"Please?"

"Fine."

"YAY!"

"Two conditions, Potter," Lily sighed.

"Yay?"

"One, is that I don't have to attend any practices unless I'm notified about each one at least three days in advance." James scowled. "And two, you have to stay away from Carter and Snape."

"WHAT?"

"Carter, just back off him, okay? And Snape, for at least two weeks. If you go near either one, then I'm off the team. Understood?"

"NO! You can't do that! You hate Snape almost as much as I do!"

"But it's still wrong to pick on him. Is it a deal?"

James glared at her, but stuck out his hand to shake on it. She smirked and pushed past him, ignoring the hand as she preferred as little contact with him as humanely possible.

James was lying awake in his bed. He couldn't sleep, firstly because Sirius and Peter snoring, between them, were enough to start an avalanche, and secondly, because his mind wouldn't stop thinking.

It was all 'Lily-this', 'Lily-that'. Why, he didn't know, but his old feelings for Lily seemed to be resurfacing.

'James, get a grip. You don't like Lily-er-Evans, and you have a girlfriend! Ahhh, but you don't want her for a girlfriend, do you? Yes. She's hot and a good kisser. She's as thick as two short planks, and she isn't even that good a kisser. Lily would be better… NO! Shut up, will you? I hate Evans! You, boy, as Christine or Enid would say, are "swimming in De-Nile". And you can't seriously deny the part about Kate Orr being a complete airhead. Fine, maybe I can't, but I don't like Evans! Sure…'

(Author's Note: For crazylily: I am so sorry if it sounds like I'm stealing your story quotes, but I had this written such a long time ago that I forgot about it until I read it in your story and then I laughed because I thought 'great minds think alike'. Sorry. It really isn't as… ummm… incriminating as it seems…And this next part is dedicated to you to make up for it; just some Sirius making fun of Kate and James – ahem - dumping her… Always fun…).

———

"Come on Jamiekins," Sirius mimicked Kate's high pitched squeal. "You don't want to be late for your date."

"Yes, yes I do. Now sod off!" James groaned and pulled his duvet over his head. He had been so tired that, when he had sat down on his bed to do some homework (using the Common Room didn't really occur to him), he fell asleep. Sirius had just woken him up to remind him that he had a date with 'Cratehead'.

"But, if you're late for your date, Cratehead'll make you stay longer, and then you'll be late for Quidditch Practice, and that wouldn't look too good, would it?" Sirius whipped the covers off James and James screamed like a little girl.

"SOD OFF!"

"Nope, not until you get up Jamie," Sirius plonked himself down on James' bed (unfortunately for James, landing, not on the bed, but on James' legs).

"OUCH! You stupid git! Gerroff me!"

"Why? I love Jamiekins!" Sirius squished James in a tight bear hug and James gasped for breath.

Remus chose that moment to walk in and say, "Do you two need a moment?" James turned red and kicked Sirius until he could breath normally again.

Remus just fell onto his bed laughing at the pair of weirdos he called friends.

"Shut up. And you can piss off now, Padfoot; I'm up." James climbed off his bed.

"YAY! And, listen man, I need you to let me out of practice early, kay?"

"What? Why?"

"Two words: Leigh Vantern."

"But, I thought you wanted to get back with Lydia?" Remus had finally stopped laughing, so he put in his two cents.

"I do, but that obviously isn't going to happen, so what do you expect me to do? I'm not going to sit around and not get any kind of action until she comes to her senses!" Sirius folded his arms and plonked back down on James' bed, pouting like a two-year-old.

"Whatever man, but you can't skive off practice to make out."

"Pwetty pwease Jamsie? Just this once?" Sirius blinked innocently up at James. Remus had coughed loudly at his last words, but Sirius had silenced him with a glare.

James smiled acerbically (sarcastically) at Sirius and pointed out that, had he not jumped on him and woken him up, Sirius would probably have stood a better chance of getting what he wanted.

Sirius stuck his tongue out and stamped off, grumbling something about 'grumpy, grudge-holding gits'. Remus shook his head and smiled again at his strange friends.

————

Whack!

(A/N: Hey, eat that Mr. H, I did use a poetic device in the right way… Anyway…).

The football was kicked again, this time harder and better-aimed. Lily had to drop onto the grass to avoid being beamed in the head by it. Enid applauded and ran to retrieve the ball before it could plunge into the lake.

Lydia, Lily, and Enid had melted a large patch of snow with their wands, so Lydia could learn to play football.

"Whoa! Can you try not to scalp me with the ball please?" Lily laughed.

Lydia grinned sheepishly and admitted that she had been imagining Sirius' head on the ball. Lily smiled and said something about the many, many possible comments one could make about Sirius' head being on a ball, and avoided saying anything about how stupid their fight was and that she should just forgive him already.

"Lyds," Enid yelled, tossing the ball at Lydia, "Think fast!"

Lydia squealed and ducked, causing the football to fly over her head and right into someone coming the other way, out of the castle.

Lily winced as the ball made contact with the person, knocking her over. Lydia gasped and started yelling random apologies to the person.

All three girls ran to the steps to see if the person was alright. Enid swore when she recognized her.

Professor McGonagall screeched indignantly at her for swearing and Enid tried to say that she had been saying 'schmlit', and not what Professor McGonagall thought she had.

Lily helped the professor up and apologized repeatedly.

Once she was standing again, Professor McGonagall pursed her lips and growled at them. "This is something I would expect from Potter or Black, and occasionally you, Miss Allows, but not you two," she gestured to Lydia and Lily, who blushed. Enid looked totally unabashed. "Detention to all three of you. You should really be more careful."

And then she stormed back into the castle, leaving Enid and the other two standing on the steps, two looking horrified, and Enid just laughing, "Wait 'til I tell Sirius and James. They've never got a detention for throwing a ball at McGonagall. They'll be so mad they didn't think of it first!"

"Speaking of, don't you have a date with Carter before your practice Lils?"

"How is that related to detentions?"

"Dunno but you should go if you want to get there on time."

"Oh, right."

————

At the Datewave, things weren't going so well. James was trying to break up with Kate, but she was being difficult… And loud… And stroppy…

He had just tried the phrase 'it's not you, it's me', which Sirius claimed he made up. Only Sirius sometimes used it in reverse (it's not me, it's you), if the girl was a really bad kisser.

Kate hadn't taken it too well. She was now screeching to the whole place.

"WHAT! What do you mean dumped? You can't do this to me! You'll pay for this, mark my words! No one dumps Kate Orr and gets away with it! Not even the second hottest guy in Hogwarts!"

"Oi! What d'you mean, 'second hottest'?" James resented.

Everyone in there had turned to look at them. Kate was standing up and yelling and James was timing her screaming (4 minutes and 12 seconds so far…) on his watch. He sounds rather insensitive but… No, he was being insensitive, but she was really annoying.

He glanced around the restaurant and flashed a grin at a pretty waitress nearby. Kate saw this, slapped him, and stamped out of the building.

James massaged his cheek and chastised himself inwardly for always dating the girls with the fingernails and pointy rings. Ah well, at least he was rid of her now… It was then that he saw the time and realized that he would be cutting it close to make it to Quidditch practice if he didn't leave that instant. He dropped some money on the table, winked at the waitress, and hurried out.

————

"Where've you been mate?" Sirius jumped on James when he got to the pitch. "We were sooo worried!"

"Yeah, yeah… Or… Not?" Lily scoffed from the grass.

She and Molly Rundell had been playing a game of exploding snap on the ground. Enid and Michael Lotry (the new beater) had been arguing over which team stood a better chance of winning the cup this year. It ended with Michael asking her out, Enid grinning and saying 'sure, why not', and Sirius glowering threateningly at him from the stands, where he and Arthur had been discussing different flying techniques.

"Sorry, won't happen again. Let's get going!" and then James added in an undertone to Sirius, "Kate threw a fit! I thought her eyeballs were going to pop out of her head and explode."

"So, it went well then?" Sirius joked, dodging a punch from James.

The Griffindor Team took to the air and practiced until it was dark, and half of them could barely sit up straight on their brooms. James would have made them go longer, but Sirius made him realize that enough was enough when he fell off his broom.

_Author's Note: Ahhh… Sirius enough for you? Hehe. Sorry. Many apologies and sheepish looks for the wait but you can forgive me by reviewing. Kate and James broke up. Finally. That was fun. Such a random chapter. Hope you liked that. And I am considering doing a Remus when he's older fic. What do you think? Sorry for being late and I'll never do it again (actually, I can't and shouldn't make promises like that, as I most likely won't be able to keep them). Here are the thankyous (and I've noticed that lots of you wonderful people have stopped reviewing which makes me very sad and helps give me writer's block):_

_**crazylily:** My first reviewer…Why is Carter going down? Kate I can understand but why Pretty-boy-Hall… er- I mean… Carter? Oh well. Why is it one o'clock in the morning? And why do I feel so blonde (that was a joke because my hair is dirty blonde and dumb blonde stereotypical jokes are fun – ha, bet you though I didn't know big words like that, didn't you?). Thanks for reviewing! _

_**sittingcow:** My second reviewer…Bite your tongue! You don't even know me! Sorry. My temper got the better of me (now Kat, put down the sharp pointy object that you were about to ram up sittingcow's… never mind…). I love your plot ideas. Love 'em! Permission to use? I think my friend Marina and I came up with that a long time ago but I haven't really considered it until now. Thanks for reviewing!_

_**youkaigirl64:** My fourth reviewer…Glad you liked it. And goes in to drooling daydream over remembering bath scene So yeah. I need privacy for this… Thanks for reviewing!_

_**kittiegalal:** My tenth reviewer…I completely agree about GoF. Moody wasn't right. And I still think that Remus (from PoA) should look like the professor in Little Women (with Winona Ryder), onlyless old and way more hot. And Sirius should have looked like Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. Hehe. gets sidetracked by still more dirty fantasies Thanks for reviewing!_

_**22Aeris:** My fifteenth reviewer…I need more ideas for James and Snape encounters. And lots with Sirius and Snape. Hehe. Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing! _

_**Dooki:** My sixteenth reviewer…Extremely glad that you liked the chapter. And really smug that you though it was really funny pats self on back toots own horn Thanks for reviewing! _

_**littleblackdove:** My eighteenth reviewer…I know! You don't like Carter because 1. he makes you miss Cedric Diggory, 2. no one should be allowed to be that perfect (except the Marauders, Harry, and some other wondrous characters created by the brilliant J. K. Rowling), and 3. you are desperately longing for Lily to be with James, with whom she belongs. There. Problem solved. Go and see the film. Love the bath scene lots for me. Say 'hel-lo' when Cedric jumps out of the tree for me, and take great pleasure in the fact that Lily and James will be together eventually. Thanks for reviewing! _

**_vegitarians will_**_** rule the earth:** My twenty-first reviewer…Ummm… _Descriptive_ review. Hehe. Glad you like it and sorry I didn't comply with the 'update soon' bit, but oh well. __Thanks for reviewing!_

_**MiYu.Lara:** My twenty-fifth reviewer…I like it when something I read makes me laugh my head off. I like it a lot. And you have no idea how happy it makes me that someone actually looks at my story the way I look at others occasionally. I am actually getting misty eyed. Sniff. Sniff. Thankyou. And I'm glad you like it. Thanks for reviewing! _

**_Hapi Djus_**_ My latest reviewer…You mean you speak Icelandic? Wow. Cool. And I thought learning Mandorin in school was a challenge. Double cool. Glad you liked it. And so so so sorry that you had to wait to see GoF. Did you see it yet? Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!_

_My next chapter will be longer… Hopefully…Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	20. Easter Break – Part 1craziness

_Author's Note: Whew, that was long! Of course, you guys wouldn't know that yet, as this blurb is before the actual chapter… Ow… Brain cramp… Did any of you go to the Luna Lovegood OOTP auditions? I totally would have except for the whole thing about me not living on that side of the bloody world. Potentially problematic. Damn. Oh well… If you tried out, I hope you did well. Damn people who live in the best continent. More convenient for casting of Harry Potter films too… So yeah. Sorry it took me so long to update, but school just started up again and is really crazy with me trying to get into another school (high school, not uni) as well… And thinking of England… And Oxford… But I did repost a few chapters, so will you all please re-read the first half of chapter 18 because I changed a few bits (insignificant changes, but I figured out that someone else wrote something quite like that and I read it a really long time ago so I had to change a few words here and there just to make sure because my conscience is weird like that). And I am trying to stick to 'period' writing, so the 60's, and changed almost everything except Grease (which is staying because it just sounds corny enough and I love it) and Brad Pitt, because I can't find his reference. Say hello to U2 (who are amazing anyway!)! But yeah. This chapter is random, jumpy, and not one of my best, so please forgive… The next will be better. Kind of. Love you all! And the Harry Potter books/films… Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Disclaimer: Puh-lease! If I was J.K.Rowling I would be lying on a beach on some tropical island right now, studying my lines for the Harry Potter films and dictating my story to a hot typer-dude. Yes I would be able to do all that at once. But I'm at home, slaving away on science revision (who freaking cares what happens to sewage just as long as we don't end up drinking it – which we kind of do – so let's change that to 'as long as we don't end up realizing that we're drinking it… hehe…), and typing this for you and all those potential sue-ers myself. My hands hurt. Happy?

Chapter twenty – Easter Break – Part 1

**Question:** What do you get if you give everyone you know chocolate and sweets for Easter?

**Answer:** A VERY HYPER Sirius, bouncing around the Common Room, annoying the hell out of everybody by singing (badly) VERY icky songs, only replacing the lyrics with inappropriate things… Wait, no, that's when he's drunk, though there isn't much of a difference (high, drunk, hyper… with Sirius, they're all pretty much the same…), so scratch that… When he's hyper, he's just singing icky songs badly and bugging everyone!

Day 1 of Easter Break; Remus, Peter, and Lydia have both gone home for the break – Remus to Europe with his Dad, though he will be back on the seventh day for the coming Full Moon, Peter; just home, and Lydia; just home, to get away from Sirius (because of the 'Break Up' – yes it deserves capitals - , though if she had stayed and they hadn't broken up, she, like everyone else, would have wanted to go home to get away from him anyway…):

"I'm bored!" Sirius whined to the almost-empty Common Room.

James yelled, "Run, run, save yourselves!" to the girls surrounding him, and pretended to duck behind a sofa. Sirius being bored was not a good thing… For anyone.

Sirius hopped over to Lily and tried to suffocate her in a bear hug. She whacked him with a pillow and returned to her book.

He then bounced to Christine and was about to hug her when she, without looking up from her book, growled, "Come near me and I will cause you more pain than you could ever imagine."

Sirius backed away slowly.

Enid was sprawled out on the floor working, for a change. She was just finishing up an essay for Transfiguration, when Sirius bounded over to her and tickled her. She squealed and a big blue line appeared all down her page of messy-scrawl. Enid promptly got up and chased Sirius around the room, shooting curses at him.

Day 2 of Easter Break; Sirius has a sudden infatuation with sushi:

"SUSHI!" Sirius yelled enthusiastically.

"What the Hell?" James yelled back.

"SUSHI IS COOL!"

"You have problems!" Enid joined in the yelling.

"I WANT SUSHI!" Sirius sang in a badly-tuned version of 'I Want Candy'. "DOODOODOO-DOODOODOO-DOO-DOO!"

"Shut up!" Everyone shouted.

"WHY! I WANT SUSHI!"

"Are you aware of what sushi is made from?" Christine raised her eyebrows at Sirius. He stopped 'singing' for a second to consider.

"Of course I am… Wait, do you know?"

"Yes."

"I bet you don't. Tell me what you think it's made from and I'll tell you if you're right."

Lily and Enid exchanged amused glances. Christine sighed and said, "Raw fish," in a bored voice, like she explained what weird foods were to people every day.

"WHAT? EEwww! NO WAY! IT SOUNDS SO GOOD THOUGH!"

"Sorry mate," James struggled to keep a straight face. "We know it meant a lot to you."

Just then, a Gryffindor first year by the name of Kirk Herfer peered timidly around the Fat Lady's Portrait. "Sirius, sir, your sushi's here. The house elves just delivered it and..."

Sirius cut him off by shouting indignantly, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? ARE YOU TRYING TO POISON ME? YOU'D BETTER BLOODY-WELL BUGGER OFF MATE, BEFORE I RAM THAT CRAP DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

The first year's eyes went wide and he dropped the box of sushi and scampered away.

Lily looked affronted by how horrible Sirius had been to the first year, but everyone else was too busy laughing at Sirius' disgusted face.

Day 4 of Easter Break; some bad news:

A small purple envelope landed on James' head a few mornings later when the remaining Gryffindor Fifth Years were eating breakfast in the Great Hall. James looked up to see a small tawny owl hovering above his head. Lily burst into laughter because James had spilt his pumpkin juice in his lap when the owl had dropped the letter on his head, making it (his lap) look… well… suspicious…

Christine reached over and grabbed the letter, because she was intrigued to see who would be writing to James on purple stationary. To Sirius' relief (he had been slightly worried about his friend and the whole 'purple' thing anyway), the letter was not addressed to James, but to Lily.

Enid took the liberty of opening it for Lily, because Lily was otherwise engaged in laughing at James.

"Hey Lils," Enid poked Lily, "Lydia wrote to you. She says hi and—"

Lily snatched the letter away from her friend and skimmed it quickly. Sirius asked hopefully, "Does she mention me at all?", but Lily ignored him.

"Guys, Lydia's moving!" Lily cried, still trying to make sense of Lydia's angry scrawl.

"What!" Of course, Lily had been speaking directly to Christine and Enid, but this made no difference to James and Sirius, who had been planning to eavesdrop anyway, so everyone responded with the four of the five 'w's… "When? Where? Why?"

"Hold on, I need to finish reading it." Lily pushed her half-eaten toast away from her and set the letter on the table, still reading deeply.

"To America! Listen:" Lily started to read the contents of the letter out loud, both of her friends, and two of her self-proclaimed friends, gaping at her and hoping that she was playing some sort of sick joke.

" ' _Dear Lily,_

_You'll never guess what my stupid parents have done this time! Not only are they going to America for my Dad's job with the Ministry, but they're taking me with them! That's right, I'm moving to America! Can you believe them? They're not making Terry go. Oh, no, my perfect little brother gets to stay in France with his perfect little French friends and go to perfect 'Beauxbatons'. I can't believe them! _

_I think this is their way of getting revenge for my abominable French-speaking! Just because I didn't get accepted into Beauxbatons like them before me, and now Terry; only Hogwarts, they're making me move! I hate them! HATE THEM!_

_This was all in that other letter I got before your and Enid's 'dance it out' thing. I read it on the train coming down here, was pissed off for the rest of the ride, and was ambushed about it by my so-called 'parents' the second I got off the train."_

"'Dance it out' thing?" James interrupted; Lily ignored him and kept reading:

"_My inner, good, totally un-selfish/un-bratty self would now tell you that it's not as bad as it seems… That I might only be staying there for a year… That I might get to come back to Hogwarts for Seventh Year… But did you hear the MIGHTS? I only MIGHT get to come back! It's not fair!_

_I leave in the summer. Apparently, all of the plans have been made already, and all I get to do is go along with them like a good child. Well, guess what parents, I WON'T AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T MAKE ME! If you take this moment to tell me that they can and probably will make me, Lily, I will mentally kick you._

_Why can't I just stay in an apartment over the summers? I don't want to move to bloody-sodding-America where they call trousers 'pants' and pronounce everything wrong! Their idea of a loo is probably some sort of food. Can you say Vin-De…?HA-BLOODY-HA!_

_I miss you guys. I will write again as soon as I can stop shaking (with anger) and yelling at my parents. This is so unbelievably unfair! I hate them! I hate them and all the bloody-sodding-yanks! I HATE THEM ALL!_

_You-flipping-rs,_

_Lydia 'the pissed off rebel child who's being punished for all eternity for having a stupidly perfect little wanker for a brother and stupid gits for parents and not being able to speak a word of French' Shaw."_

"That's harsh," James broke the silence. Sirius immediately got up and excused himself. Everyone else just stared at Lily's letter.

_(A/N: In Lydia's letter, that 'Vin-De' at the end was 'Vin-De', as in Vin-De-Loo; the food… At least, I think it's a food… She has my lame sense of humour, though not so much as Sirius (I'm thinking the phrase 'vicious trollop' will soon come into play, hehe…And 'yank' is a slang term for American…)._

————

"Hey man," James sat down behind Sirius. They were on the Astronomy Tower and it was biting cold. And rainy. And windy. So really, it was just an English winter.

"I brought you your cloak," James tried again, when Sirius didn't respond. Sirius acknowledged the gesture with a half snort and a half-hearted wave. His back was still facing James.

"Look mate, I know you're upset about Lyd—" he started, but Sirius cut him off angrily.

"I'm not upset! It's just… You'd think she'd have told me, wouldn't you? I don't care; I'm completely over her, it's just that it's going to be weird next year if she doesn't come back. Isn't it?"

James smiled in spite of himself. "Padfoot, it's okay to be upset. You dated her. You'd probably still be together if you hadn't got all jealous…"

Sirius snorted with laughter; James really knew how to cheer you up… "It's fine Prongs. I'm fine, it's fine, everything's fine. I'm just gonna go inside and thaw because I think I have a date with some girl, but I might have been slightly drunk when I made the arrangements for the date, so I can't really remember her name, (not that I would usually, mind you…), or where I'm supposed to meet her. It could have been the Transfiguration Classroom…"

James shook his head in disbelief. "McGonagall'll murder you if she finds that out!"

"That's half the fun, m'dear boy. You should try it sometime." Sirius got up to go but turned halfway to the stairs. "And Prongs?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, but it really is fine."

"Yeah," James forced a smile, but added to himself 'right…'.

Day 7 of Easter Break; Remus gets a warm welcome from Sirius 'welcome-wagon' Black:

"MOON-EY!" Sirius shot towards Remus and choked him into a painful headlock (Sirius must have been able to overlook that fact that he was choking one of his best friends, because he thought of it as 'affectionate'…).

"Sirius! Gettoff him; he needs air to live, you know." James yanked Sirius off Remus' head and Remus grinned gratefully at him.

"Hey Mooney! France good?"

"Great! Really loved the Eiffel Tower."

"BOR-RING! What about the ladies, huh Mooney?" Sirius jumped in, eagerly.

Remus reached for the nearest book (not to read; think head banging…). This was going to be a loonnnggg night.

Day 8 of Easter Break; a paranoid James and 'pretty-boy-Hall':

"It's too quiet." James whispered to Remus.

"You're paranoid mate. Just because we're finally getting some quiet around here, doesn't mean Sirius is planning something evil or crazy," Remus said normally.

"But you don't know Sirius!"

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Well you do… But the quiet has to mean something. I mean, seriously!"

"Did someone call?" Sirius popped up behind his two friends.

James nearly jumped out of his skin and hid under a pillow. Remus cleared his throat and James appeared, sheepishly grinning.

Sirius coughed something that sounded remarkably like 'pansy' into his hand and James glared at him.

Just then, Lily and Enid came in through the portrait hole, laughing their heads off.

"Can you believe that?" Lily giggled. "I mean, I'm not usually a fan of pranks, but Carter doing that to his sister… That's perfectly understandable, plus, it's hilarious!"

"I'm totally going to remember that one! How long did he say she was stuck to that little kid?"

"Who pranked who?" Sirius cried indignantly.

"Excuse me? I don't think we were talking to you," Lily muttered.

"Lily's boyfriend, Carter," Enid explained, rolling her eyes at Lily. "We didn't know he was a famed prankster as well as a really hot athlete. He made up a spell and stuck his 'wannabe-punk-rebel-child' of a sister's hand to this cute little kid. She was stuck like that, with a kid hanging off her arm I mean, for, I think, a week. He only took it off because the kid started to complain. Ha, priceless!"

"WHAT?" James and Sirius yelled at the same time. Remus could have sworn he saw their eyes glow red and smoke come out of their ears.

"We're supposed to be the pranksters around here!" Sirius shouted.

"Since when is 'pretty-boy-Hall' a prankster?" James yelled.

Lily gave Enid a pointed look and stalked off to find Christine.

"Guys," Enid groaned, "I thought we'd covered this. You have no reason to hate Carter except that he's Lily's boyfriend, in which case you are both jealous prats. Just because you are insecure jealous prats, does not mean that you can hate him for playing pranks because him playing pranks does not make you two inferior. And you also cannot call him annoyingly 'cute-cutesy' insulting little names like 'pretty-boy-Hall' because it is annoying, 'cute-cutesy', and insulting."

Sirius blinked and exchanged perplexed glances with James. Remus snapped his book closed and said "I agree". Sirius gave him a mystified stare and exclaimed, "How can you agree, Mooney? You mean you actually understood what she just said?"

Remus put his head in his hands as a sign of resignation and Enid chucked a pillow at Sirius' head.

"What I said was;" Enid plopped down beside Sirius on the scarlet couch to translate, "Leave Lily and Carter alone."

"Oh. Right."

Day 10 of Easter Break; don't worry, there are only two days left of the break, but Sirius is pretty much back to normal… Think… Marauder Mentality… Or exploring:

It was just before curfew, and James was lying on the fluffier couch of the Gryffindor Common Room, tossing a gleaming golden ball up in the air and catching it. He released the golden snitch and let it fly away from him for a few seconds, before lazily reaching up and pulling it back towards him.

Every few times he caught it, James would ruffle his hair subconsciously and stare over to where Lily sat, listening dutifully to Christine complain loudly about brainless skinny blondes (thank heavens that Lydia wasn't there, eh).

Remus was sitting opposite James, pretending to read, while really watching James watch Lily, in triumph. Confusing.

Peter had been trying hopelessly to finish a Potions essay, though he had rather given up on that and was now watching James play with the golden snitch (yes, I know what you're thinking, you dirty-minded twerps, and I'm just telling you now to get your minds out of the gutter because that was the quidditch ball).

A few more random minutes passed in this way before…

Crack!

"What the bloody –"

"Mummy!"

"I LOVE YOU CINDY!"

"WHAT!"

"Whoops, did I say that out loud…"

James had leapt into action when he heard the crack! He had thrown himself across the room at Christine and Lily. This would have been sweet, had he not been lying on top of them when Sirius showed up.

"Whoa! Too much information there mate," Sirius smirked at James.

James glared at his so called 'friend' and sheepishly slithered off Lily, who was currently fixing him with a creepy stare that could rival Professor McGonagall's and that secretly made James wonder if she had been taking lessons. James wished silently that he could disappear into the woodworks (stoneworks?) and never come out, as his face now resembled that of a tomato. Not that tomatoes have faces… But they have feelings… And redness…

Sirius was looking disgustingly smug, and even Remus was having a hard time keeping a straight face. James glared at them some more before he remembered something to direct all the weird energy over to Sirius.

"Sirius? What was that noise just now?"

"Oh, you mean the one which prompted you to fling yourself across the room in order to safe your imaginary girlfriend from certain death?" Sirius grinned. James punched his shoulder.

Lily and Christine, with the latter of whom swapping amused glances with Remus, stood and listened to the interesting conversation.

"Well," Sirius paused to watch some poor sod of a sixth year (the 'I LOVE YOU CINDY' one) get beaten up by his now definitely ex-girlfriend for saying he loved some other girl. "I was just practicing with my new Zonko's material. They got this brand new stuff and – "

"Hold it!" Lily cut across him suspiciously. "How would you have anything new from Zonko's? There hasn't been a Hogsmeade weekend recently…"

"Oh – hum – anyway…" Sirius plastered an innocent grin on his face, obviously hoping to charm his way around it. He didn't want to admit, to Lily, of all people, that he had used the Marauder's Map at around 8:00 that morning, snuck into Hogsmeade, and bought up the whole new display at Zonko's.

"You used the Map without us!" James cried indignantly, momentarily forgetting that Lily and Christine didn't know about the Marauder's Map.

"Map?" Lily and Christine asked in unison.

Both Sirius and Remus gave James pointed 'way-to-go-man' looks and Sirius shoved his way in front of James.

"Dude, let me handle this," Sirius muttered to his friends under his breath. He automatically adopted a suave/charming manner and tone of voice, and slipped an arm around both girls.

Lily raised an eyebrow at Sirius and the jealous looks she was receiving from random girls in the Common Room, and edged away from him. Christine folded her arms and glared stonily at him.

"What map?" she asked again.

Sirius gave her a dreamily lop-sided grin and whispered in a highly suggestive voice, "I don't know about a map, but I can give you two lovely ladies directions to my room, if you know what I mean…"

Remus choked when he heard that, and it took over five minutes for James to revive his disgusted friend. Of course, this might have taken longer than it usually would have to revive him because James was glaring daggers at Sirius for making moves on Lily… ahem… Evans…

"EW! You pervert!" Lily squealed. Some girls across the room almost fainted at the prospect of Sirius being perverted. It's interesting what turns some people on…

Once Lily and Christine had stalked off, thoroughly creeped out, James smacked Sirius upside the head.

"Oi! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot!"

Enid chose this point to bound in through the Portrait Hole and also smacked Sirius upside the head.

"Oi! What was that for?"

"You were being an idiot!"

"Okay." Sirius said. Then comprehension dawned upon him, "Hey! You weren't even here!"

He looked like he was going to smack Enid, but just whacked James while he looked her in the eyes. James rubbed his head angrily and said "What the Hell did I do?"

Sirius shrugged and James glared at him. While he was glaring, James reached over and smacked Enid. Enid frowned and smacked Sirius. Sirius stuck his tongue out and clobbered Remus.

"HEY!" Remus cried indignantly, his book flying out of his hands.

"Whoops. Sorry Moon-er-emus, got slightly confused there." Sirius fumbled.

"Again with the 'Mooney' thing!" Enid said, frustrated. "What are they? Code names? Secret identities? MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES? Just tell me already!"

"Nice to see ya Enid, but we gotta go! As the French would say, 'aurevederchi'!" James half-shouted at her while he grabbed Sirius and Remus (still trying resentfully to retrieve his book) and dragged them out the Portrait Hole.

"That's German you dung-brain!" Enid shouted after him. "Hmmm…" she then said, to no one in particular. "You can run, but you can't hide…"

The three Marauders came to a panting stop in a secret passage way of theirs to confer.

Sirius wheezed "She's probably following us right now. Sorry Mooney, I forgot."

"It's fine Padfoot. Really. But now we need to hide from Enid until she forgets about it."

"But I've forgotten which hiding spots she knows about," James winced.

"Well then." Sirius decided, "To the seventh floor."

"Why?"

"It's the highest floor, save the towers, so we might as well. Plus we'll have time to hide because she doesn't know about these secret passages leading up there. Let's go."

Remus and James exchanged skeptical looks.

"Come on you slow gits! She could be half way there by now, and we want to evade her nosey questions."

They shrugged and followed, still pondering Sirius' use of the complex (for him) word, 'evade'. Teehee.

Upon turning a corner out of their current passage and into a seventh floor corridor, the Marauders dashed down it to the right and stopped only when they could go no further because a solid wall was right in front of them.

"I don't remember that wall being there…" Remus muttered, perplexed.

"Well Mooney, you can't expect to remember everything about the castle with all that useless information you have stored in your head taking up so much space!"

"The 'useless information' is knowledge from studying for O.W.L.'s, Sirius; thank you very much. But I swear that wall's never been there before! James, do you have the Map?"

James snorted at his friends. "Come on," he paced back and forth in front of the wall. "We need to think. We need a place to hide from Enid and her questions!"

"And Pringle; it's after curfew," Remus added.

"And Snape Senior," Sirius put in 'helpfully'. "The slimy old arse-faced git is probably sneaking around trying to catch us up here!"

"Well, at least we know we can be mature about it…" Remus scoffed.

"Shut up you nobbs!" James hissed. He was glaring at an ugly black cat which was hissing noisily right in front of them.

"Ugh! Stupid Mrs. Norris!" Sirius groaned.

"James, Sirius?" Remus stammered.

"Quiet Mooney! Can't you see I'm busy coming up with a fantabulous plan to get us out of here safely and detention-less?" James snapped.

"But there's a door now…" Remus indicated the darkly coloured wooden door now fixed in the place of part of the wall that used to be there.

"Oh." Sirius darted his eyes from side to side. "That'll work."

_Author's Note: Hello… Again… This probably bugs you, doesn't it? Me talking and rambling on like this… When you are all so desperate to review and yell at me for the wait… And then once the wait-yelling is finally over, to yell at me for this crap chapter. Let the yelling commence. But the next chapter is called 'Easter Break–Part 2, and the Room of Requirement ... Plus a little trip down Memory River in a Gondola (hehe)'. And it isn't as bad. Plus, in that chapter or the next, you will discover a dramatic and twisted sub-plot. Well, kind of. You know, cheating… with – ahem – an older personage… Hehe. So yeah. Here are all the thankyous; once again, you guys rock:_

crazylily: My first reviewer… Doncha' just love blondes? I'm half blonde. Making a mental note as we speak to spend more time in sun when snow goes away to become blonde again. Being blonde is fun. Most quotes are from somewhere else, except the person who made them up… Ow. Another brain cramp. Thanks for reviewing!

sittingcow: My second reviewer… Fixed are most of those references… Gone with the back-spacer! Doesn't that make you happy? It does for me. Yay! Don't diss Brad Pitt. He is majorly hot! My friend Marina will back me up on that (of course, she also has this weird attraction to Mel Gibson, so I don't know how much we can rust her opinion…). BSG. Possibly. Sounds familiar… Wonder why? And ew. And no. Geez. You sound like you swallowed a dictionary. I bet you just looked that definition up on-line before you reviewed. Hehe. Sorry. Thanks for reviewing!

22Aeris: My fifteenth reviewer… Thanks about the Snape encounters thing. Evil b… That's inappropriate… But I did mean him; not you, just to clear things up. Glad you liked it. And Merry Belated Christmas to you, too… Thanks for reviewing!

vegitarians will rule the earth: My twenty-first reviewer…YES! You love it! WHOOT! My life's goal has been accomplished! Sorry. That was kind of sarcastic… But YES that you love it! That makes me happy… Thanks for reviewing! Eliot Z. Wheatherbee: My twenty-second reviewer…

MiYu.Lara: My twenty-fifth reviewer…Dunno who the ball hit… PROOFREAD KAT, PROOFREAD! But yeah. Here's hoping 'cocacola' went up your nose, and not something else…Sorry. I don't mean to incinuate that you drink anything ahem inappropriate… Jkjk. But yeah. Can you wait to set your psycho-duckies on Kate Orr until I've finished with her please? I may fit her back in to minor roles in the story... Thanks for reviewing!

Hapi Djus: My thirty-third reviewer… Yupsy… Is it even a word? WHOOT FOR ICELANDIC-NESS… Whoops…There I go again; I've forgotten what we were talking about. Why am I challenging you? Oh well. Just tell me in your review (PUPPY DOG EYES BACK TO YOU) if you haven't also forgotten. I suck for not updating sooner. Thanks for reviewing!

prinnie-vinnie: My thirty-fourth reviewer… So glad you like it. I intend to keep writing. Poke me very hard if I stop. And then set person-eating gerbils on me until I start again. And the same applies (only without the person-eating gerbils bit) if I don't update for a long time… Again… Thanks for reviewing!

DaRkFaWkEs: My thirty-fifth reviewer… My story will stay true to 'cannon' in that they will 'hook up' in seventh year. Their seventh year… Sorry. And you'll have to wait and see about the whole ' civilized manner or slap' thing… Thanks for reviewing!

goagirl princess: My thirty-sixth reviewer…They may be kind of apart in ages, but the 'Dark Lord' only came to power a bit after or before Lily and James and people were born, didn't he? So… Well maybe Carter will go down. Or maybe you'll just hate him because he continues to be perfect and godly… WHOOT! Anyway… Love the e-mail. I think I've seen one before. Needless to say, I don't think I found 'x'… Thanks for reviewing!

sweet-babie-duck: My latest reviewer…So am I. But I don't really want her to disappear completely… So… Hmmm. Many things to plot. Thanks for reviewing!

_Thankyou all. Sorry if that highlighting shows up. I screwed up my computer. Extremely random chapter. Next one is slightly less weird. I should be doing my homework. Whoops. Oh well. Love you all. I love you even though I don't know you personally. Awkward. I GOT MY VIDEO CAMERA AND NAMED IT CHARLIE! It was either that or Harry. So yeah… Please review, as always. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	21. Easter Break–Part 2, the Room of Require

_Author's Note: Hello all. Again sorry for really long wait. You have no flipping idea how busy I've been (all damn schoolwork)! Thanks to those of you who reviewed last chapter and my one-shots. The one-shots are when I have writers block for this, or if I want to make you wait between chapters… Well, I probably won't update for the rest of the month (jeez that sounds so mean and long…), because it's March Break over here. I'm headed to England and France with my Mum… And lucky you'll be left with a cliff hanger… Not the possible death cliff hanger I had planned to be releasing now, but who expects to be this busy in my year at school? Stupid teachers have nothing better to do than make my life miserable, I swear… Anyway… Bubbles!_

_-Kat_

Chapter twenty-one – Easter Break–Part 2, the Room of Requirement ... Plus a little trip down Memory River in a Gondola (hehe)

_Previously: _

_James snorted at his friends. "Come on," he paced back and forth in front of the wall. "We need to think. We need a place to hide from Enid and her questions!"_

"_James, Sirius?" Remus stammered._

"_Quiet Mooney! Can't you see I'm busy coming up with a fantabulous plan to get us out of here safely and detention-less?" James snapped._

"_But there's a door now…" Remus indicated the darkly coloured wooden door now fixed in the place of part of the wall that used to be there._

"_Oh." Sirius darted his eyes from side to side. "That'll work."_

The boys gaped at the door until they heard footsteps running closer to them.

"Quick! Get inside and lock the door!" Sirius hissed earnestly, nearly wrenching the door of its hinges with his anxiety.

As soon as James had been yanked inside, they slammed the door shut and Remus whispered '_Alohamora_' at the door knob.

They all pressed themselves against the door and tried not to breath, so as to avoid being caught by the old caretaker. His cat could still be heard hissing just outside their room.

Just as the footsteps came to a halt right beside them, all three boys leapt backwards in surprise! The door had just disappeared, leaving them all pressing themselves against the same solid wall that they had wasted five minutes staring at before the door appeared in the first place.

Sirius opened his mouth, no doubt to comment on the sudden disappearance of their door, but James and Remus both shrewdly clapped a hand over his mouth before he had a chance to give them away.

"MMmph!", was all he could manage.

"Shh!" James whispered in earnest.

They spent a few more minutes in this awkward position, until they finally heard the sound of Pringle's footsteps dying away and, still more minutes after that, the soft pitter-patter of Mrs. Norris' paw-steps following the corridor away from their hiding-place.

Sirius smacked their hands away from his face indignantly, and grumbled, "I hate that cat! I reckon she's going to live forever, just to spite us!"

"Nah; don't be so melodramatic, Padfoot," James said. "If anything, it'll be to torture our kids!"

Remus laughed in concurrence and Sirius showed his agreement by grinning the trademark 'Marauder' lop-sided grin.

"Hey!" Sirius examined their surroundings more closely. "I've never been in here before! Is it possible that we left something out of the Map?"

James shook his head confidently and strode over to a lavish red armchair, pushing down on the seat to test the bounciness. Apparently, it passed his test, because he plonked down on it and sighed with pleasure.

"Should we leave you two alone?" Remus snorted sarcastically.

James glared and suggested that his friend go and do something rather rude.

Remus rolled his eyes and wandered over to the splendid bookshelves on the wall closest to him and perused the volumes happily. Sirius bounded over to the other side of the room and started opening and closing cupboards and trunks.

"WHOA! Look at this mates; all the newest pranking supplies from Zonko's!" he cried in excitement.

"No way!" James exclaimed, coming over to inspect the contents of the trunk with his friend. "Half of this stuff hasn't even hit the racks yet!"

"Cool!" Remus joined them at the chest of tricks.

He drew out a little heart-shaped bowl (Sirius pulled a face) and flipped it over to read the instructions.

"What the Hell d'ya reckon that's used for, huh Mooney?" James asked, also making a face.

"From what it says, I think it tells you who you fancy. You just have to 'fill it up with warm water and stare into it; then it will tell you the name of the person someone truly likes in their heart, whether admitted or not, and their datable status', with 'so-and-so loves other so-and-so' flashing up on the nearest wall. With their datable status written in the bowl. That's it; what on earth is a 'datable status'?"

"Well Mooney, if a girl is single, that's her 'datable status'. If she's not, that's also a 'datable status'." Sirius explained casually.

"Trust you to know…" Remus muttered.

"So, if Prongs were to use it, it would say: 'James Potter loves Lily Evans', and 'taken'. And then he would add some stuff like: 'by some utter git who still sleeps with a teddy and needs to pay girls to sleep with him!'"

James lunged at Sirius, exclaiming: "It would not you stupid prat!"

"Yes it would!"

"No it wouldn't!"

The two were now rolling around on the floor trying to strangle each other. Remus was looking on with interest.

"Would too!"

"NOT!"

"WOULD!"

"NOT!"

After they had exhausted their 'would's and 'not's or, coincidentally; after Remus just got tired of listening to them, he took the time to stop them from fighting and inform them that they could just find out by using the thing.

"Oh." James stopped trying to murder his best friend.

"I knew that." Sirius stopped too.

"But what if I don't want to?" said James.

"Then we'll know that you're a pansy and you agree with us on what it'll say." answered Sirius.

"But still," James argued, "maybe I just don't like to be… pressured into things…"

"Hence the description 'pansy'!"

"Oh. Well then… Okay, fine," James gave up, "but I don't see what's in it for me."

"You could formulate a wager?" Remus suggested. Both Sirius and James gave him looks that clearly said, "either you stop reading the dictionary for fun or we burn the damn thing".

"If that meant 'make a bet', only in Mooney-speak, then I agree. That sounds fair," James commented.

Sirius swaggered confidently over to a posh leather sofa and belly-flopped onto it, his stomach making a satisfying squeak against the fabric.

"If that wall doesn't flash that I like Evans, then both of you have to use the damn thing."

"Okay," Sirius said, ignoring Remus' protests. "When that wall flashes 'Jamesie loves Evans', he has to go back to admitting it and letting her know it. You know, like he was before all the junk happened this year."

James opened his mouth to renegotiate, but Sirius stopped him by shoving the heart-shaped bowl into his hands. Remus pulled his wand out of his robes and performed a spell which filled the small bowl with water.

"Stare into it James."

James grudgingly obliged. He peered down into the small basin and waited.

It took a few seconds, but something started to appear in the water. James squinted, trying to see past the ripples, and he could make out a familiar shape on the surface.

It was a face. A gentle face, squinting in the sunlight; the rays of which were lighting up her sparkling eyes. The eyes, two emeralds imbedded in a smiling face. Her lips were cherries, split in a shy smile. She laughed, tossing her head back so that the sun caught each lock of red hair at a different, more beautiful angle.

James's mind was jolted back into the room when he felt his face reddening. He blinked quickly, disgusted at the feeling of tears hidden in his hazel eyes.

"James?" Remus said quietly. The words 'James Potter loves Lily Evans' were flashing in green writing on the wall in front of them.

"What?" he snapped.

"We win." Sirius said softly, standing and walking over to his friend. He was being serious for a change. "Look Prongs, we know you still like her. Now you know too."

James slumped back down on his armchair. Remus perched on one arm of it, and Sirius on the other.

James came one step closer to admittance by grumbling 'but you don't like her'.

"James. You know I didn't like her too much when we first met, but now I'm fine with her. And that didn't stop you asking her out every day anyway, did it?" Sirius grinned. "And since when do you listen to me anyway, you excuse-making git? Remus always liked her. And I think Peter did. Ya never know with that one, do ya?"

"Hey, what do you mean you 'didn't like her much when you met'?" Remus inquired. "Lily's always been so nice!"

"Ahhh, right. That was before we met you… Wee-llll, you see…"

_FLAHSBACK – all of the next part until it says 'end flashback' just it's easier to read in normal font_

An eleven-year-old girl was sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts express, which was not all that unusual. She was alone, but she was also half an hour early, so. She wouldn't have minded anyway, because she was curled up at the end of a cushioned bench with a book.

A few (ten or so) minutes later, when more students and parents had started to arrive, she was interrupted by a knock on the sliding glass door of the compartment.

"Hi. Are you a first year too?" the 'knocker' (teehee) asked.

"Ummm… I think so…" Lily answered.

"Well, hi!" the girl grinned. She had her long brown hair tossed lazily back under a red football cap, and was sporting a black shirt featuring a rather offensive picture of a rock band. This was an eleven-year-old Enid Allows.

"Um…" Lily stammered.

"Yeah?" Enid said, flopping down onto the other bench.

"Your t-shirt… It's… moving!"

Enid grinned again. "You muggle-born?"

"Ummm…" Lily answered again.

"Parents not wizards?"

"No. I mean, yes. No, they aren't wizards."

"Ahhh… That explains it. Pictures and paintings and photos in the wizarding world move. They're like film clips in frames."

"Oh," Lily smiled. "That's really cool!"

"Yeah. I thought so too, when my Dad told me. I'm Enid Allows." She stuck out her hand comically, which Lily shook, giggling, and deciding that she liked this strange girl.

"Lily Evans. Have you always known about magic then?"

"Well, I'm a half-blood," Enid explained. Lily looked perplexed so she clarified, "Someone with one parent who's a wizard and one who's a muggle (not-magic person). My Mum was a witch, and she told my Dad all about the wizarding world, so that he could tell me and my sister when we were older, if she couldn't."

"What d'you mean?" Lily asked curiously.

Enid, being the good judge of character that she was, decided that she could trust Lily. "Well, my Mum's dead, you see." Enid's eyes flashed angrily and Lily murmured 'oh, sorry'. "Murdered by _Him_," Enid continued, brushing aside Lily's sympathy.

"God?" Lily said automatically, at the reference to 'Him'. Was it really her fault that her parents had taken her to church with them when she was little.

"No!" Enid snorted with laughter. "The wizarding 'Him'." Lily continued to look confused. "As in VOLDEMORT!" Enid said loudly, causing many students (older and younger) passing by their compartment to wince and shudder. She stuck her head out of the compartment door and shouted 'Grow up you dung-brains; he _has_ a name' to the corridor, before slamming it shut.

"What's wrong with them?" Lily inquired.

Enid sighed. "Okay. There's this dark wizard who really came to power over the last few years or so. He calls himself 'Lord Voldemort'. Nearly everyone in the wizarding world, grow-ups too, are so afraid of him, that they can't even bring themselves to say his name."

"Then why do you say it?"

"Because Dumbledore does. And because when you hate someone that evil, I believe that fear of the name will just increase the fear of him. But I'm not afraid. I'm going to make him pay for everything he's done!"

Lily frowned and said, "Who's Dumbledore?"

Enid told her that Dumbledore was that most powerful wizard in the world, and that he was also going to be their headmaster at Hogwarts. Lily was interested and they continued to talk about him and all of the wizarding problems until the train was almost ready to go and there was another knock on the door.

Enid jumped up and bounced over to the door to open it. A boy with dark, messy hair was leaning against the doorframe, looking rather arrogant and bored.

"Who are you?" Enid asked cheerfully.

"Name's Potter. James Potter. You?" he sat down on Lily's bench and put his feet up beside her. He thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She, however, swapped an unimpressed glance with Enid and Enid said:

"Enid Allows. This is Lily Evans."

Lily smiled slightly at James but stopped when he winked at her. Enid snorted with laughter and James looked rather put-out. He continued to survey Lily curiously, which made her sort of uncomfortable.

"So, you a first-year too, or are you just lost?" Enid asked rudely.

James turned his head back to Enid and looked her up and down. His eyes stopped at her shirt and she raised her eyebrows.

"'Witching Hour'," he referred to the band displayed on her front. "Not bad taste… For a girl."

Enid glared stubbornly at him. "Least I have taste. I'm not the one swaggering 'round like some wannabe-Sean Connery who thinks he's so hot!"

_(A/N: HA! I checked it! Sean Connery would have just starred in one or more James Bond films, so he is in the right time period…)._

Lily laughed at the muggle-movie reference. It was obvious that James Potter had no knowledge of muggle film stars.

He seemed lost for words; as if no one had ever stood up to or spoken back like that to him, whether he understood the insult or not. Enid just stared defiantly at him and he finally spoke.

"Truce." He said evenly, holding out his own hand to shake on it.

Enid studied him for a second longer, before grinning, shaking his hand, and echoing his 'truce'.

James grinned for the first time since he had entered the compartment, making his chocolate-brown eyes sparkle attractively, and said, "Sirius is gonna like you."

"Who's Sirius?" Enid asked. Lily turned to James as well, though still not liking him much, and waited for an answer.

"Sirius is my best friend. We met this summer at the Puddlemere United junior flying camp. My parents said that we were so much alike that they had a hard time telling us apart."

"Sirius, huh?" Lily started. "Sounds…"

She was cut off by screams and small explosions coming from the train corridor. The three jumped simultaneously when some random Slytherin fifth year was slammed against their door in the stampede.

"That -" James grinned again, "- would be him."

"Oh. Joy." Lily said sarcastically.

Enid snorted with laughter and slid their door open so that the boy who had been squashed against it went flying forwards.

"Whoops?" she giggled.

Once the students in the corridor had stopped running and screaming and all squished into compartments on the train, another boy swaggered down it. Girls who had their heads out of their packed compartments gaped, blushed and giggled when he passed them.

"Wh'as wrong with them?" Lily asked.

James looked smug. "They're girls." He said simply, as if that explained it.

"Well, there's a guy walking down the corridor… That Sirius?" Enid pulled her head back into the compartment.

"Most definitely." James grinned.

Then, he got up from his seat and left the compartment, heading down the hall to his friend.

"James!" Sirius dropped the swagger and jogged handsomely over to him.

Lily and Enid were watching from the compartment (along with quite a portion of the female population of Hogwarts; who cares if they're only 10 or 11…).

"He was right. They do look similar." Lily said.

"Yup." Enid agreed.

The two boys did some sort of weird handshake (you know, those things where people do something hand-ish then grab hands and bump shoulders…) and started towards Lily and Enid's cabin.

"Ladies," they both bowed to a cabin of second years, who all burst into giggles immediately. Enid snorted in disgust; Lily laughed her head off.

The two boys walked into their compartment and each one sat down with their feet up.

Sirius happened to lean back and put his feet on Enid's lap. Enid glared at him and shoved him off the bench.

He got up from the floor, glared at her, and then grinned and said, "Name's Black. Sirius Black."

Lily and Enid exchanged a glance and promptly burst into laughter. He turned to glare at Lily. She stopped laughing.

"And you are?" Sirius gave her a withering look.

"Lily."

"Hmmm. Lily..." He studied her, much like James had. "You were right James."

"Right about what?" The girls asked together.

"Her." Sirius gestured towards Lily.

"Oh, and what about her?" Enid asked before Lily could respond scathingly.

"Don't want to bore you with the details, love," he winked at Enid.

"Uck!" she made a disgusted face.

"Oh please!" Lily exclaimed. "Get over yourself! Both of you!"

She stood up and grabbed her book, looking over at Enid.

"I'll be somewhere-or-other, Enid. Come find me when you get sick of them." And she stormed out.

James jumped up and muttered, "I'll be right back" to Sirius, and followed her out the door.

"Hey, wait up!" he called to her.

"What, Potter?" she spat.

"You wanna go out with me this weekend?" he grinned charmingly.

"NO! Why would you even think that!"

Lily turned again and started away from him.

"So that's definitely no then, is it?" he called after her.

She just kept walking, now shaking her head in disbelief.

She turned to the right, and the last thing he heard the 'most beautiful girl he'd ever seen' say that day, was to some first year girls; "Is this seat taken?"

_END FLASHBACK_

_(A/N: Sorry that that's so long and the guys wouldn't know about Lily and Enid's conversations, but it's over now, so don't worry…)._

"That was kind of rude." Remus frowned. "What were you agreeing with James on?"

"Oh. That." Sirius grinned guiltily. "Just that she was cute but had problems."

Remus raised an eyebrow, but let it go.

James was now a lovely shade of crimson.

"Embarrassment capital?" said Sirius lightly. "See that was the first time in history that Prongs asked her out. The beginning of an era!" he paused. "Come to think of it, that was also the first time in history that she rejected him. The beginning of another era!"

Remus laughed and James glared at them both. Once they had all stopped laughing and glaring, Remus brought them back to the point:

"So. Now you go back to telling Lily that you fancy her."

"Yep."

"Evans'll be thrilled!" Sirius chortled.

"Yep."

"Looking forward to being constantly rejected?" Sirius smirked.

"Yep." James said, stuffing his head in the nearest pillow.

"So, going to ask her to consort or osculate with you when you see her next?"

"Yep."

"Do you have any idea what he just said, Prongs?"

"Not in the least," James said, making Sirius burst into appreciative laughter and Remus roll his eyes.

Day 11 of Easter Break; one slimeball down, one to go:

After their little evening escapade, Remus and Sirius decided to monitor the other Marauder closely and make sure that he asked Lily out… Eventually…

Lily was sitting in the Common Room and talking to Enid about their Care of Magical Creatures essay when Christine came running in. As her friends were at the table on the side of the room farthest from the door, she had to sprint past a couple of third years to get to them (which she did, no problem, even if it did result in an upturned table and some grumbling thirteen year-olds).

"He's – Gone –" she wheezed while she caught her breath.

Lily and Enid both looked up from the 'history of dragons' articles and gave her inquiring looks.

"Who's gone?" Lily asked.

"Care to expand on that, Tina?" probed Enid. Christine gave her a death glare for the nickname, but continued nonetheless.

"Snape Senior! He's gone!"

"You're kidding!" Lily exclaimed.

"Was it the Marauders?" Enid asked eagerly.

"NO," Christine replied, giving her a funny look.

Enid pouted; "Damn," she said. "Lost the pool."

Lily giggled and Christine persisted:

"No one knows why. He was teaching a Potions class to the seventh years and then he randomly started screaming and clutching his arm! He knocked over a cauldron full of stinking sap that they were boiling for Madam Pomfrey so the whole class stampeded for the door. Hardly any of them even realized that he'd disappeared! Dumbledore's down there now trying to find him, but word in the hall is that he's already given up and got a replacement. No one knows who…"

Enid let out a low whistle and Lily exclaimed in distress, "This is terrible; our O.W.L.'s are coming up!"

"Yep. But now I just want to find out who's replacing him. He'll probably be at breakfast tomorrow," Christine said.

"I've got to tell the guys," Enid said, standing up; "They'll be ecstatic! Wonder how he disappeared though…"

Upon finding the three Marauders…

Reaction #1:

"WHAT! O.W.L.'s are in fewer than eleven weeks; is everyone completely bonkers!"

Reaction #2:

"You're kidding? NO? WHOOHOO! YES! Maybe his replacement'll be a hot chick… PARTY IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM!"

Reaction #3:

"NO WAY! YES! This is brilliant! One slimeball down; one to go! Plus Pringle and Mrs. Norris, but oh well; there's still time for that… PARTY IN THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM NOW!"

Later that day…

"Hey Lily," Remus Lupin smiled warmly as he saw the red-head sitting by the Common Room fire.

Lily looked up from her Charms essay and greeted him cheerfully.

"Hey Remus. What's up?"

"Oh nothing much. Just studying and the likes. Keeping everyone and myself from maiming Sirius for being… Well… Sirius," Remus replied.

"Understandable… Except for the whole 'preventing people from murdering Black' part."

"Listen," he said casually, "I did want to ask you if you'd seen Marrella lately. I mean, I just haven't seen her for a while and I know you guys are friends, so…"

Lily tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear and said "Isn't she in some sort of study thing for Astronomy with Professor Salandro today?"

"Is she?"

"I don't know; isn't she?" Lily looked bewildered.

"I mean, I know she's been getting tutoring from him because she says she's having trouble in that class, but I take it with her so I don't see why she can't just ask me…"

Remus ran a hand through his hair in a very James-like manor and Lily rolled her eyes (at the gesture; not Remus).

"Look, Remus. I don't know what you're looking for as an answer, and my guess is that you don't either," Lily looked at him meaningfully. "So, for the mean time, assume that she's busy and maybe in a tutoring session because she needs the help of a professional, because that seems to me the most logical response."

Remus nodded and left her to her homework.

That evening, after a lazy supper, the Marauders had split up. James had headed straight for the quidditch pitch to 'work himself to death for fun' as Sirius put it, and Sirius and Remus were hanging out in the guys' dormitory until Sirius' date.

"So Mooney old boy; it's just you and me tonight," Sirius chattered happily.

Remus cringed at his poor grammar and corrected him, "You and I, Padfoot, you and _I_!"

"Whatever," Sirius shrugged. "You up for a little 'Explodaball'?"

"NO! That's moronic and potentially dangerous!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius had been referring to the game that he and James had made up in their first year. It involved wands and muggle bouncy balls, and consisted of someone throwing balls into the air (gradually increasing the number as you went along) and someone else trying to blow them up with their wand.

"Awww… You're just sore cause you always lose."

After a long minute of awkward silence…

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah Mooney?"

Another minute of silence…

"Is it weird that Marrella has been having tutoring sessions with Professor Salandro a lot recently?"

Sirius rolled over onto his stomach. "Depends… Define a lot."

One more awkward pause…

"Well, I'd say about every other day and most evenings."

Sirius considered for a second and answered, "Yup. That's weird."

"Oh." Remus said.

Two minutes of silence…

"Any reason for asking?" Sirius asked.

"No, nothing specific… Just… Wondered, I guess."

"Oh."

Three minutes of silence and Sirius bouncing a ball against the ceiling…

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah Mooney?"

"She's in a session now."

"Oh."

A couple seconds of ball-bouncing…

"Someone's getting laid…"

"SIRIUS!" Sirius missed catching his ball and it bounced painfully off his head.

"Wha-at?"

"My teacher, my girlfriend; don't 'wha-at' me!" Remus looked horrified.

A silence and Sirius retrieves his ball…

"Well it's completely obvious they're doing it."

"You've _got_ to be joking."

"Who does _Astronomy_ in the _daytime_?"

"I don't believe that for a second!"

"Well I'm gonna go and prove it then," Sirius jumped off his bed. "You go to Salandro's office and I'll go to the North Tower. It's been closed for a while now."

"Sirius, don't. You can't seriously believe that!" Remus leapt off his bed too.

"I can do anything _siriusly_, for I am SIRIUS!" Remus ignored the bad pun and tried to hold Sirius away from the door. "Once you don't find them there, come and meet me at the North Tower. See ya then!"

After Sirius had thrown Remus off and careened out of their room, Remus had no choice but to walk disbelievingly down to the young professor's office.

Remus dragged his feet along for half the way, all the time battling with his mind: a two-sided battle of trust against Sirius and his damned logic. Remus mentally cursed Sirius for influencing his thoughts, however unintentionally.

'_Okay Remus, snap out of it. You trust Marrella. She trusts you. You like Marrella. She likes you. **Or does she?** YES! **Only one way to find out though, isn't there…** No. There are two ways; go and don't trust your girlfriend or go back to the Common Room and wait for Sirius to get back so you can maim him, and then ask her if she still likes you. **Don't tell me that didn't confuse you…** It – um – didn't? **Sure.** **Just keep going. You're almost there. The sooner you get going, the sooner you can maim Sirius for even suggesting it and then being wrong. **Which he definitely will be. **Right…**'_

He hadn't even realised he knew the way well enough for his feet to lead him there subconsciously. Remus was standing uneasily outside Professor Salandro's office. He raised his hand to knock and…

"DUUUHH-NUUUHH-NUUHHH-NUUHH-DUUUHH-NUUUHH-NUUHHH-NUUHH," Sirius hummed as he slunk along the wall. "DU-DUN-DU-DUHHHNNN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUHHNNNN-DUNN-DUN-DUN-DUN."

He had dated a muggleborn a while back (much to the repugnance of his step-father), and gone over to her house where she introduced him to James Bond films (of which their were two so far). Thus the explanation for humming of said theme.

'_Poor Remus,'_ he thought. _'So clueless. But he has to find out some time or other. It's better this way.'_

He passed a window overlooking the Quidditch pitch and grinned to himself. A dark outline could still be seen flying about in the dusky sky.

'_**But what if you're wrong?**' that nasty voice which everyone seems to have snickered. '**What if she isn't… **screwing the professor? Well… Then Mooney maims me… **Yes?** Oh dear Merlin I'd better be right! **Ya think?** Are my own thoughts really supposed to be mocking me? **Are you really supposed to be conversing with your own thoughts?** Point taken…'_

He stopped as he reached the door to North Tower and took in the 'Tower closed for Repairs' sign. "Here goes nothing…"

Sirius pushed open the door and stepped inside. There was a couple, lying in a rather –ahem – compromising position.

"MY EYES! OH MERLIN, MY EYES!" Sirius backed out of the room with his hands covering his eyes, and turned and ran back down the corridor.

_Author's Note: MWAAHHAAHAA CLIFFHANGER! Sorry. The original ending to this chapter was basically the same, but better. And, being me, I erased it and had to re-write the last two sentences which now don't make as much of a 'statement'. Here are the thankyous:_

**crazylily: **My first reviewer… Yeah well I know a girl who swims/swam a lot and got blonde highlights in her naturally red hair, and the highlights turned green. Whoops… Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

**sittingcow:** My second reviewer… Yeah yeah yeah, I was tired when I wrote that part… Or at least that's what I'm telling people… Trying to figure out whether or not to be arsed to change it… Probably not… I know sims, but never have I considered a slash quite that icky before… Ew. BSG… Sounds cool. Thanks for reviewing!

**Dooki:** My sixteenth reviewer… We've all been there occasionally my friend… Or at least you and I have. Well that is a particular talent of some of the Marauders… Like getting extremely hyper or drunk. Or just being extremely buff. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!

**vegitarians will**** rule the earth:** My twenty-first reviewer… You should have saved your celebrating for when I update after this, because it'll be a long long long wait, for which I apologise profusely! I think it's wonderful that you like it. Thanks for reviewing!

**MiYu.Lara:** My twenty-fifth reviewer… Is your e-mail address If not, I'm considering it for my g-mail name… Hehe. Glad it's coka-cola, but just had to check… I'm glad it made you laugh, and as for your cat, are you sure it isn't Mrs. Norris in disguise? And again, please hold back in the killing Kate Orr department, because I still may have some fun with her… Thanks for reviewing!

**Twin Tails Speed:** My twenty-sixth reviewer… Awww… Yay. Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

**sweet-babie-duck** My thirty-seventh reviewer… Ohhh… You have no idea about my plans for Lydia… MWAAHHAAHAA! Erm... Anyway, good that you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

**ookamilupin** My latest reviewer… Glad you liked it and I intend to keep writing, thanks. Thanks for the review!

_Seriously, thanks for reviewing, all of you. You people rock. The next chapter is called Easter Break-Part 3, A Serious Shock for Sirius, and then Remus, and Then Sirius Again and it lives up to it's name so far… See you when I get back. I'll update my profile in a second, so you can read boring stuff about me… Anyway. Bubbles!_

_-Kat_


	22. end of Easter Break, Dancing on Tables

_Author's Note: Ummm… I should probably make this quick as I'm sure you people all want to cut off my fingers and toes one-by-one with dull hedge clippers for not updating (not that I've had much experience with stuff like that…). Sorry. School exams and dance recitals coming up and psychopath English teachers giving us so much stupid repetitive homework that we don't have time to study anyway so I would fail even if she didn't hate me. But yeah. I'm not going to include any review responses in here, but I will respond to them separately. And just in case FanFic does delete my story, I will be going back and deleting any review responses in previous chapters. So read them now if you haven't already… And now here's a long (ish) chapter to make up for the pathetically long wait. I really have been that busy though. In fact, I should be studying right now. And I have given up –momentarily- on period-things, because I know Billy Idol is recent and current… SCREW CANNON, SCREW PERIOD-WRITING, SCREW DEMOCRACY! Well, maybe not the last one, but anyway… Bubbles!_

_-Katie (I'm trying out Katie to see if I want to switch nicknames when I switch schools next year)_

**Disclaimer:** I'm not rich, I'm not famous, I'm not a gifted writer, and I haven't finished high school yet; does it sound like I'm J.K. Rowling?

Chapter 22 – Easter Break-end of, Dancing on Tables; Oh the Craziness

'I miss you too,' Lily wrote, smiling. 'See you tomorrow though.' She had just finished a response to Carter's latest letter. His parents and older brother had wanted him to come home for the Easter Holiday, as he had stayed at Hogwarts for the Christmas one.

Personally, Lily though it commendable of him to willingly spend almost two weeks with his family. She thought of them _wanting_ him to come and then tried to picture her family missing her…

Lily's parents were missing their daughter very much indeed, though Lily corresponded frequently with them via owl post. Lily snorted unflatteringly when she imagined Petunia missing her. _'Yeah, right,'_ was the response her brain came up with.

'_OH NO! Why, why is his office empty?'_ Remus walked briskly down the corridor. Even in a situation like this, he'd be damned if he broke a school rule (running in the hall). _'Damn you Sirius! How could you be right? But you are! You're right! My girlfriend's cheating on me with her (AND MY) teacher and I never even knew!_'

'_OH MERLIN, MY EYES!'_ Sirius thought frantically as he bounded down the hall. _'Them! Two of them! That's just sick!'_

He thought back to a few seconds ago, when he had been shielding his eyes in protest. Then he shuddered and furiously tried to rid his brain of said images.

"Slytherins!" he spat, cringing again. "EW! I am _so_ glad I didn't see who it was."

Sirius was sprinting and so caught up in his disgusted mutterings that he completely missed the person rapidly heading towards him in equal earnest. This being the case, Sirius and Remus smacked head on into each other.

"OK, what have I done to deserve this?" Sirius moaned, looking up at the ceiling.

Remus staggered to his feet and said to Sirius:

"Sirius! You were right (and running in the halls!). They weren't there. I have to go to North Tower and break it off with Marrella."

"NO! You can't go to North Tower!" he grabbed Remus and started to drag him back down the hall, away from the tower.

"Look Padfoot," Remus pulled away from him. "I know you want to protect me but this was your idea! I need to see this for myself." And he started back in the opposite direction.

"You don't understand Mooney! It's not them!" Sirius gave up trying to drag Remus with him and threw himself at his legs, clinging on tightly.

"Nope; I don't want you to make excuses for her; I have to deal with this. GET OFF MY LEGS PLEASE!"

"NEVER! It's not them! I walked in to prove myself right, and there were these two - ugh –Slytherins! URRGHH – MENTAL IMAGES!"

After kicking Sirius off his legs and leaving him with only Remus' empty shoes in hand, Remus shook his head disbelievingly at his friend and stamped determinedly (and sock-footedly) on down the corridor. Sirius leapt up from the floor and chased after Remus, who was dangerously close to the Tower door.

As one final attempt to protect his 'bud', Sirius dived in front of the door and tried again to prevent Remus from wanting to open it. It didn't work. While Remus grappled with Sirius to gain entry to the Tower, Sirius tried again to explain about the two Slytherins and his being 'scarred for life'.

"You're sure?" Remus stopped struggling.

"Positive!"

"So if I opened that door right now I would just see two perspiring Slytherins?"

Sirius winced and answered. "Firstly, yes, and secondly, don't say 'perspiring'! It's weird. Say 'sweating' like all the normal people."

"Apart from the linguistic dispute, I'm correct?"

"Hell Yeah. It's not a pleasant sight!" Sirius shuddered again at the memory.

"Well then, apart from wanting to save my – er -"

"Vision –" Sirius added helpfully.

"Right… Vision… You wouldn't mind my just opening the door?"

"Nope. But you're lucky I care so much about you, mate." Sirius grinned and put Remus in what he thought was an affectionate headlock.

Remus struggled out of Sirius' grip and side-stepped him. He reached out and opened the door to North Tower.

"Nooo…" both boys said at the same time, eyes wide; Remus' shoes falling from Sirius' hands with a dull thud.

"Mr. Potter!" A sharp voice called up to an airborne James. He glanced down at the ground to see an auburn-haired lady in robes of tartan beckoning him towards the ground.

He pointed the nose of his broomstick down and spiraled gracefully and effortlessly downwards. Touching his feet to the grassy pitch, James smiled charmingly at his Head of House and tipped an imaginary hat chivalrously towards her. "You called, Fair Professor?"

Minerva raised an eyebrow and her thin mouth twitched for a moment, before she remembered why she was there.

"Yes, Potter. This way, if you please," she motioned for him to walk in front of her, and he complied.

James turned his head after a minute or so, and addressed his teacher. "So Mins; do I get a clue about what's going on, or are we supposed to just walk the whole way in silence?"

A death glare from McGonagall answered his question and he faced forwards again.

"Left," she called out suddenly, and jumped, veering to the left.

Narrowly avoiding a nasty (not to mention painful) collision with a closed door, James reached out and opened it.

James bowed, holding the door open, and McGonagall swept past him in the room. He followed, eyeing the waiting person curiously. He was a tall, well-built, and quite good-looking boy of about fifteen or sixteen, James guessed.

"Potter; Walter Shift, Shift; James Potter, current Captain of the Gryffindor House Quidditch Team." Professor McGonagall introduced the two quickly.

Walter Shift stuck out his hand and grinned. James grinned back and shook it.

"Potter: Shift here is in his sixth year and is actually quite a talented quidditch player -" Walter modestly lowered his eyes – "He's actually being considered for the Tutshill Tornadoes reserve team."

"Nice," said James. "Why didn't you try for the house team this year? Or last year…"

Walter looked back at James. "Oh, I play for my town league. It's a small thing really, but they just kind of frown upon playing for other teams at the same time."

"Ah."

"But before he can definitely be accepted, he needs some a year's coaching experience, Potter." Professor McGonagall smiled grimly.

"And…?"

"Well Potter - "

James cut her off as it dawned on him why he had been dragged into a classroom to discuss another guy's chances at a career in quidditch.  
"You want me to give up the Captain-ship-ish-thing-y, don't you?" he said suspiciously, his left eye twitching involuntarily at the thought.

"Now see here, Potter," McGonagall said hesitantly. Even she knew that she was walking on eggshells here, as everyone knew how important James' quidditch was to him… "You would be guaranteed a spot on the team next year, and your captaining position back for your final year… It's just that it's Shift's last year next year, and he'll need a definite job placement for the year after, and he does need just that one year's experience…"

Walter spoke up again; "Thanks mate, I really appreciate it."

James' twitching eye was now moving at around five twitches per second, and a vain was throbbing rather unattractively in his forehead. He turned to glare menacingly at Walter, who had reached out to shake James' hand again, but then reconsidered and drew back apprehensively. James balled his hands into fists.

Professor McGonagall jerked her head at Walter, beckoning him toward the door as if he should fear for his safety. Walter apparently thought that a good idea, and scrabbled around a desk and out of sight.

James blinked a few times and turned back to McGonagall. She cleared her throat and said in a rather tense voice, "Well, that's all cleared up then. Thankyou for your cooperation, Potter. I'll be seeing you in class tomorrow morning. Ahem… Ginger newt?" she held out a small tin full and he reached out and took a biscuit like a zombie. "Yes, well, enjoy the rest of your evening…"

Her voice faded away because she was hurrying away from him, down the corridor. James was left alone in the darkened classroom, his fist clenched around the ginger newt, crunching its head into dust. He stuffed the rest of the mutilated biscuit into his pocket, and passed out on the floor.

"Oi, you two!" Lily called down the deserted hallway to Remus and Sirius. She had sweet-talked the current Head Girl into letting her assist her with the evening patrolling of the corridors, in practice for when she would hopefully become Head Girl herself. She was particularly looking forward to busting Potter's little gang…

"Black, Lupin! It's past curfew so what're you doing up here?"

Remus and Sirius turned towards her, both with oddly blank looks on their faces.

"What's wrong with you two then?" Lily inquired.

Sirius shook his head and jerked his head towards the opened Tower door. Lily raised an eyebrow and said "Is there someone in there, Black?"

Sirius nodded and looked over at Remus. His face was starch-white, and he looked like a ghost who'd died twice and then been scared out of his wits.

"Ohhh yay!" Lily giggled, uncharacteristically. "This is going to be fun."

She practically bounced over to the door and shouted; "It's after curfew so I'm going to need you to go to your dormitories immediately and report to the Head Girl for punishments first thing tomorrow morning! What you're doing is against school policy!" Her face blanched when she saw who was in the tower and she added lamely, "But I doubt that applies to you Professor Salandro…" And then she fainted.

Luckily for Lily, Sirius had just regained feeling and movement in his limbs and mind, so he caught her as a reflex. Of course, this meant that Professor Salandro and Marella also saw someone else's arms reaching out to catch Lily. One of them called, who's there, nervously, and so Sirius instructed Remus, very quickly, to grab Lily's arms and help him carry her, while they ran, back to the Tower.

"Erg, what happened?" Lily moaned. Her return to consciousness also leading to feelings flooding back, which in turn lead to her clutching the bump on the back of her head. She had no idea how she had gotten a bump on the back of her head, but she suspected that Potter and his 'play-pals' had had something to do with the now splitting pain. "And why is my head lying in Black's crotch?"

Remus looked at her from across the room on a different sofa and muttered feebly, "Different strokes for different blokes, I guess…"

He pause for a second. "Which doesn't really apply to you, if you think about it, because you're a girl… At least, I think you're girl…" He giggled. "Are you a girl? How do _you_ know?" He giggled again and Lily saw some empty bottles strewn across the Common Room floor. They looked like they had contained fire-whiskey at some point…

"Have you been drinking?" Lily asked, too caught up in the possibility of Remus being drunk, to realize that her head was still lying in Sirius's crotch.

"Me? Nooo…" he hiccupped. "Well, maybe just a little… But not much at all." He caught sight of about fifteen empty bottles beside his sofa and giggled again.

Sirius, who was obviously asleep, stirred a bit, and his arms wrapped themselves around Lily, his hands coming to rest over her chest.

She screamed and threw him off her, falling off their sofa and onto the carpet.

"Black! YOU FREAKY PERVERT!"

"Wha – " he exclaimed as he rubbed his eyes.

"You just groped me in your sleep!"

"Whoops… Sorry, Love. It just comes naturally, I guess…"

"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!"

Remus seized his ears and rocked back and forth, as if trying to make the noise disappear. "Stop with the noise!" he squeaked.

After a short pause:

"So, you coming back to sleep, or-"

"OH DEAR GOD BLACK!"

"I know I'm a God and everything, but you don't have to call me that… You can just call me the-sexiest-man-alive or something like-"

"YOU PERVERT! I'm so giving you a month of detentions if I get Head Girl!"

"Oh, punishment… you work like that, do you?" Lily looked like she was going to puke. "James is a lucky man…"

Lily really _did_ puke. As much as she'd like to blame Black's talking about himself and his friend so creepily for her sudden spillage, it was the impact of having fainted a few hour beforehand.

"Ew," Sirius and Remus said together. Sirius pulled his wand out of his back pocket and vanished the substance on the floor. Remus pouted and complained that he had wanted to keep it as a pet. Double ew.

"Have you seen James, carrot-top?" Sirius addressed Lily, who was scourgify-ing her mouth.

She glared at him and insisted that if she had, he would be somewhere on the other side of the planet right now. Or at least St. Mungo's ITC unit…

"Why is Remus drunk, Black?"

"Oh, that… His girlfriend's cheating on him with his teacher. We saw them. So did you."

Remus giggled. Lily shuddered.

"Erg! Why are you grinning, Black? He's your friend!"

"I've discovered that I can say stuff about it in front of Remus when he's drunk if I'm smiling. Just smile, and he giggles. Watch:"

Sirius looked Remus dead in the eye with a grin on his face as if he was talking to a baby:

"Awww, wook at de widdle Wemus. He's a widdle giwl, isn't he. Yes he is! And he giwlfwiend's cheating on him wive his widdle teacher, isn't she. Yes. Cootchy-coo…"

Remus nodded and giggled again. Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius and sat down beside Remus.

"That's terrible, Black. But he is cute when he's drunk… Awww…" she patted Remus hair. "Hi… Yes, I'm Aunty Lily. Aren't you cute?"

Sirius coughed.

"We're never talking about this again, Black."

"Thought not…"

About an hour later, Sirius prodded Remus in the side. Lily had gone up to bed after the unfortunate incident with drunk-Remus.

"OW!"

"Dude, I _just _pokedyou," Sirius gave Remus an incredulous look.

"Lower your voice…" Remus clapped a pillow to each of his ears and closed his eyes again.

"Okay… I was poking you to ask if you've reached phase two yet. So… _Have_ you?"

Remus opened an eye and raised his eyebrow.

"I'll take that as a 'no Padfoot, I haven't quite got to the stage where I want to jump on the tables in the Great Hall and sing backup vocals to Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself'! Continue to sleep in a dazedly-drunk stupor."

"Ta."

James Potter shook his head and opened his eyes to see a cold, grey surface right in front of him. He peeled his face off the clammy, stone floor of the History of Magic Classroom with much difficulty, and tried to remember what had happened earlier. He recalled the events foggily, and promptly passed out again.

Sirius was slightly bored as he waited patiently for his friend to reach phase two of post-girlfriend-cheating-on-you-with-teacher scenario.

He tried to see how long he could go without scratching his eyebrow and established a new 'Sirius-record'… Which wasn't all that hard, considering his eyebrow wasn't at all itchy in the first place…

He was highly tempted to wake Remus up and force him to move on to stage two, but the Portrait Hole opened just before he could poke him.

"PETEY!" Sirius squealed gladly.

Peter found himself knocked to the floor, winded, with one Sirius Black on top of him, suffocating him in many trademark headlock-hugs.

Remus screamed and clawed at his ears.

"What happened to Moony?" Peter gasped in between hugs.

"He found his girlfriend cheating on him with his Astronomy Professor," Sirius explained nonchalantly, letting Peter go.

Peter smiled knowingly and tapped the side of his nose. "Ahhh…"

"Yay. You're back."

"Yup. My Uncle dropped me off at Hogsmeade. Then I got lost."

Sirius couldn't even bring himself to mock Peter for getting lost when there was a road leading straight up to the castle, plus numerous road signs pointing in the direction of the school. "Now you can entertain me while Remus sleeps his way to phase two."

"That sounds dirty."

"Mind in the gutter, Wormtail. I'm proud."

"Thanks."

"No problemo, buddy-boy."

"That also sounds dirty."

"SNIFF. You've learned well. I've done a good job."

"Come to think of it, that sounds dirty too…"

"Okay, over-doing it a little, there, Pete."

"I know..." Peter hung his head.

"It's okay, mate; it'll get easier." Sirius clapped him on the back sympathetically.

James woke up a few hours later and looked at his watch. 5:30 a.m. He conjured up a couple bottles of firewhiskey, not remembering, of course, that classes commenced at 9:00 o'clock that morning. He opened the first one and took a big gulp.

The cards exploded feebly and sprayed Peter and Sirius with a small amount of soot. They might be wearing out, as they _had_ been in use non-stop since 15 past 11 the previous night, and it was now around 7:30.

"Okay Pete, he'll probably be ready for phase two any time around breakfast. You watch him, and I'll go take a shower and get dressed."

"What about me? I need to change too, and we can't leave him alone in this state. He's likely to do something suicidal!"

"Wormtail, Wormtail, Wormtail… I have an image to uphold – a reputation to live up to – expectations to meet… People want me… You can't expect me to let them see me in yesterday's clothes, with bags under my eyes, and with less-than-perfect hair! Of course, _I_ could make _any_ look seem like the latest fashion, but it would be depriving my fans of my true, fabulously gorgeous self. Do you really want a troop of hot chicks out to cause you serious damage because you prevented me from looking my every-day, hottest?"

Peter reconsidered. "Off you go then, hurry up."

He returned in half an hour, smelling like caramel-apples, and looking positively godly with his long hair draping over his eyes. All the early-waking female inhabitants of the Common Room sighed dreamily.

"Ready Pete? Remus?"

"Yup," Peter replied, and yanked Remus's arm so that he was basically being dragged along, down to breakfast.

"Hey Wormtail," Sirius said once they were alone with the hazy Remus in the corridor. "Did we see Prongs come in last night?"

"Nope," replied Peter, panting under Remus's weight.

"Silly Sod; probably fell asleep in the change-roo-"

He stopped at the sounds of cheering coming from the Great Hall. They could hear definite traces of Billy Idol music… could there be more than one guy who'd lost his girlfriend to his teacher in one night? Apparently…

They rounded the last corner and were surprised to see…

James. Standing on the Gryffindor House table. Singing. A Billy Idol song. And here were his friends, obviously come to join him in his drunken dazy song. And to his surprise, they actually did!

Remus stood on his own two feet (causing Peter to collapse in surprise), and sprinted towards James. He then leapt over two first years on the bench and joined his friend on the table.

"If I looked all over the world

And there's every type of girl

But your empty eyes

Seem to pass me by

Leave me dancing with myself"

Sirius, not wanting to be left out of the catcalls from cute girls and indignant chastising from teachers all around the hall, eagerly headed for the table as well. He jumped over two new first years (the originals had been taken to Madam Pomfrey for the shock of having a fifteen year old boy jump over their heads without their consent), to knock over a goblet of someone's morning pumpkin juice. He joined in with the chorus once James had finished the verse:

"So let's sink another drink

'Cause it'll give me time to think

If I had the chance

I'd ask the world to dance

And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself _("Evans will you go out with me?" – "No you insufferable show off!")_

Oh dancing with myself"

"POTTER! BLACK!_ LUPIN_?" a familiarly angry voice sounded from below them. Enid, who had just entered, sneakily turned the music from James' wand up to drown the professor out. Then she exchanged mischievous winks with Sirius and conjured a small drum set out of dining plates, grabbing two forks, and sitting on the stool, joining in on the drum part.

"Do you, do you, do you…"

Lily and Christine were doing their best to ignore the three table-dancers (despite a couple of winks and kisses thrown at Lily from a certain messy-headed quidditch player…). That was, until someone kicked over _Christine's_ pumpkin juice; NO ONE touches her juice!

"Okay, Black; you're going DOWN!"

And she dove at his feet, knocking him off the table. Sirius, of course, grabbed onto Remus, who grabbed onto James, so the whole thing resulted in a Marauder-pile-up on the floor. Christine was still trying to attack the 'dude who'd spilled her juice', so it was sort of like a moving jigsaw puzzle of arms and legs.

"UP!" Professor McGonagall spluttered, her throat hoarse from all the yelling she'd been doing.

The four on the floor obediently struggled to their feet, with two Ravenclaw sixth years restraining Christine.

"Is there an explanation for all of this nonsense?" she shouted, her body shaking furiously from billowing black robes, to tartan headband.

Remus and James caught each others eye and the alcohol kicked in again, giving them seconds winds of giggle-fits.

"THAT'S IT! ALL OF YOU TO SEE THE HEADMASTER, THIS INSTANT! And you Ms. Allows," McGonagall screeched to a casual Enid, who was sneaking towards the giant oak doors.

"Crud," Enid muttered half-heartedly, and she bounced over to join the Marauders and Christine.

"There is no need to fetch me, Minerva; I am already here."

Dumbledore was standing in the doorway, a smile playing discretely at his lips.

"Albus. Good. Did you see these miscreants? Dancing on tables! Singing at the top of their voices! Making not only Hogwarts and their peers, but also their professors, into complete laughing stocks!"

"Yes, Minerva. I did in fact arrive in time to see the end of the performance. I was rather enjoying the music actually…" he turned to the stunned teens as a vein in Professor McGonagall's forehead began to throb threateningly. Catching sight of her, he seemed to think it a better idea not to continue that sentence. "But now is not the time…"

Professor McGonagall took thee deep, calming breaths, and managed a relatively composed, "Detention for all of you tonight after lessons. You may assist the new Potions Master by cleaning out all of the cauldrons in dungeon five _without_ magic! Now, go to your classes, and I never want to see anything like that again! I would never have expected it from you, Ms. Carpollo, or you, Mr. Lupin. Hopefully this was a one-time affair, and the school will not have to endure such things from you again. As for you three," she turned to Sirius, James, and Enid, who were high-fiving, no doubt to criticize all the trouble they always seemed to cause. She seemed, however, to not be able to conjure up any words strong enough to describe their antics, and sighed exasperatedly. "Why do you always seem to end up dancing on the House Tables? Eight o'clock sharp in the dungeons."

"Ew. Potions. And I have a detention," Christine whined to Lily and Lydia, who had got back late the night before.

"Your fault for trying to attack Black." Lily said completely uncaringly.

Lydia stayed oddly silent for this part of the conversation. Her silence was odd because she would usually have taken the opportunity to say something like 'I don't blame you, Christine'. Lily noticed this and exchanged a suspicious glance with Christine.

The three were just rounding a corner towards their dungeon when they heard angry voices and stopped to listen.

"Shhh…" Lily whispered. She held out a hand to stop them from walking further, and inched her head around the corner.

There were two blonde people, a girl and a boy, arguing in a room just off their corridor, the boy looking increasingly angrier with every passing word.

"I'm not stupid, Lucius!" Narcissa cried, frustrated tears slipping down her cheeks. "I know what you're planning and I don't want to be a part of it any more! Just because you need a pawn here when you leave, and an alibi after that doesn't mean that I'm willing to throw my life away-"

"It isn't throwing your life away, you stupid girl!" Lucius spat bitterly. "You'll have all of the riches and things you could ever dream of! A mansion; two even! Jewels, furs, clothes, books…" he listed.

"But that's not what I want, Lucius!" Narcissa said quietly, her tears now coming silently and her voice dripping with a tone that was almost mocking him. "I want things you could never give me. I thought you could at one point, but you can't! There's no reasoning behind it except your own personal gain. There is nothing that could possibly persuade me to say yes!"

Christine, Lily and Lydia all exchanged nervous looks.

"What do you think he-" Lydia started, but Christine gestured for them to be silent once more.

Lucius had risen from his seat upon a desk and stalked over to Narcissa on the dusty stone floor. He seized her roughly and trapped her in an aggressive kiss that even the girls, standing feet away, could see had no real passion behind it. Lucius wretched away from her and, pulling her up harshly by the scruff of her neck hissed next to her ear, in barely more than a poisonous whisper so Lily and her friends had to strain to hear him, "You have no choice, you pathetic girl. It is out of your hands now."

He rolled up his sleeve and showed Narcissa something that the girls could not see. But they did see her expression of mingled fear and loathing before she wrenched her head out of Lucius' grasp and stumbled from the room, away from the girls and no doubt towards the Slytherin Portrait Hole. Lucius caught her arm just before she reached the doorway of their classroom and pressed something forcefully into her hand, making her gasp in pain and say, "I don't want it", to which Lucius replied "Nonsense. It was a gift", and closed her finger hard over it.

Once she was gone, Lucius ran a hand over his blond hair and took a deep breath to regain his composure. Then he started down the corridor, right toward Lily, Lydia, and Christine. They had no time to hide, or analyse what they had just seen, because he was feet from them and he took one look at them, and pulled out his wand.

"Lost little Gryffindors," he snarled maliciously. "Can't remember where you should be? Let me help you…" And he muttered something under his breath, pointing his wand at Lily.

A jet of yellow light shot towards Lily, but switched directions in mid-air after colliding with another jet of light, this time blue.

The girls turned quickly and looked behind them. James and Sirius were standing there, both with their wands out.

"That's not very nice, Malfoy." Sirius said mockingly, a loathing look in his eyes.

"Black, Potter. So nice of you to join us," Malfoy said, equally bitterly. "I was just teaching your little girlfriends here that it's rude to listen in on other people's conversations."

Lydia and Lily flushed at the word 'girlfriends' and the girls pulled out their wands too.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you that you should consider anger management classes?" Lily bit back, pointedly not looking at James. "You know, control your vile temper towards girls who are supposed to be _your_ 'girlfriends'…"

Malfoy's face contorted with rage. "You filthy little mudblood!"

And he aimed another jet of yellow light at her, but James blocked it again before Lily could even open her mouth. He stepped in front of her and glared stonily at Malfoy, and Sirius did the same.

"Why so quiet today, Potter? Cat got your tongue?" Malfoy taunted.

"You don't have to protect me, you know," Lily said angrily to James. "I'm not completely helpless."

James ignored her and said to Malfoy. "Why don't you go back to your little Common Room and bother one of your own flunkies?"

"You know, Potter, I think I will. Go back to the Common Room, that is. But only to tell everyone how the _'amazing James Potter'_ backed down from a fight, even when he was four people up. The _'cowardly James Potter'_, they'll be calling you next…"

James' wand hand twitched, but Sirius shot him a warning glance and told Malfoy to get lost, which he did, surprisingly enough.

"Thanks you two," Christine said grudgingly, on behalf of all three of them. "That spell looked nasty."

Sirius answered her quietly, "Yeah. Corporatas-Caedes. Would have made Evans here bleed until next Tuesday. You're just lucky James had his wand out already…"

Lydia stepped on Lily's foot when she failed to acknowledge that James had done her a favour. "Ow! Thanks Potter," she finally said through gritted teeth.

He smiled quickly at her and said "You're welcome. Now we should go or we'll be late for potions. Wonder who the new teacher is…" And he and Sirius disappeared down the hall leaving the girls alone again.

"What d'you reckon all that was about?" Lydia asked as they too made their way down the hall to the classroom.

"Dunno. But it can't hurt to find out, can it?" Christine said thoughtfully.

"Do you guys think we should tell someone?" Lily asked as they neared their dungeon

"Nah. I don't think Malfoy would be too pleased if we did," said Lydia.

"Since when has he ever been pleased with us though? I think it's worth a closer look," Christine shook her head. The other two agreed and they entered the classroom to boisterous shouts of "OHO! And who do we have here?"

_Author's Note: Three guesses who that is… Whoot! But yeah. And thanks to all of you for reviewing (and special mention to Miyu.Lara, for being reviewer number 200 – SQUEE!). Will reply to you all as soon as possible. And three cheers for me, it's my birthday in 9 days and counting. Hehe. Glad this year is over; haven't enjoyed it that much. Feel free to check out my new other long fic. About the Gryffindor Quidditch team. This was the result of my current – really random – obsession with Oliver Wood. So hot. And I've got another oneshot (about him and Katie and drunken-karaoke) in the works to post while you all wait for the next chappy of MM (and plot more painful ways to kill me). And the next chapter of MoaQT, for those of you who read and reviewed that. So yeah. I'll try to make the wait not as long this time. And for people reading this who actually know me, please don't get me any presents, and my parents currently hate me, so I might have to give you your b-day prezzie on Monday (first day of exams-ARRGGGGGHHHH!). Yeah. –looks guilty- So bye for now to everyone. And thanks again. Now you should all review again to make me happy. Long reviews… That can be my prezzie (but cars are good too…). Bubbles!_

_-Katie (see; the name may change but the bubbles will live FOREVER!) _


	23. And The Slug Is Back

_Author's Note: Okay, I officially suck. To the limit. I mean, you can't even describe how much I suck. I suck so much that I will actually support all of the people who are probably at this very moment in time planning my unseemly demise (complete with tortures of all different varieties, including baseball, science fiction novels, and bagpipes)! But I mean, how could you not be? And my countless apologies in future about the terrible-ness and short-ness of this chapter will no doubt (and quite rightly) be rejected, possibly harshly and in many languages I don't understand. But SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, anyway… The next one has lots of interesting things in it! And at the end of this pathetic excuse for a chapter, I'll give you all a hint about the… dun-dun-dun-dun… DEATH that's coming. Okay, there could be a tiny chance that that's a bribe because I feel so sad about this sad little blob of wannabe-writing that I have the nerve to call a chapter… But is it working? Tell me once you read it… That is, if you can forgive me enough to review…? Even if it's just to yell at me for the long wait for nothing, I'll appreciate it… Or to wish me an (or describe what you have planned for my) unseemly demise. A.K.A. vicious murder. By fanfic readers. Okay, I'm scaring myself into a hyperventilating-state-of-paranoia… Whoops. Sorry again. Hehe… Bubbles?_

_-K_

Disclaimer: I can't be J. K. Rowling! For one thing, I'm short. And has she ever dyed her hair purple? (since the success of Harry Potter, I mean…) Merlin, these things are tedious.

Chapter 23 – And The Slug is Back

The girls all drew back simultaneously from the large man beckoning them forwards. He had dark shiny hair and a splendid moustache, expensive-looking crimson velvet robes, and a long, narrow wand clutched in one of his large boyish hands.

"Oho, oho, come now come now m'dears! Don't be shy… Do tell me your names…" he bellowed jovially, making all three girls jump.

Lily, never being one to leave a teacher (even an unknown one)'s questions unanswered, squeaked "Christine Carpollo, Lydia Shaw, and Lily Evans… Sir…?"

"Not _the_ Lily Evans? So you're the star pupil I've heard so much about?" He clamped an arm heavily around her shoulders, completely ignoring the other two, and lead her two the other side of the dungeon, where some bewildered-looking students were already sitting. Her knees trembled slightly as he half-leaned on her in a cheery manner, and she was feeling more uncomfortable by the second, blushing through his gleaming review of her alleged talents.

"So Ms. Evans, do take a seat. I'm sure you are already acquainted with your classmates, so feel free to take that stool next to Mr. Potter – son of a very important Ministry Man, and a damn good quidditch player, I've been told…" he trailed off as he leapt forwards to welcome the next flood of prominently-parented students.

Lily groaned quietly but dragged her feet, somewhat relieved, to where James and Sirius were sitting.

"So, m'dear," Sirius chuckled, "How's Ms 'star pupil' Evans, eh?"

James laughed appreciatively and Lily glared at them both.

"This isn't going to be the seating plan for the rest of the year, is it?" she asked in a sarcastically sweet voice.

"Careful deary, you'll cut yourself on the tongue of yours," Sirius muttered warningly.

"To steal a phrase from Christine; 'bite me'!" she hissed back.

"Oooo! Harsh," Sirius mocked her, raising an eyebrow. "But not very original, is it?"

Lily rolled her eyes and scanned the classroom for where Lydia and Christine had taken seats with Enid after being rudely brushed aside by their new professor. James, who had stayed basically silent through their little feud, discretely stood on Sirius' foot and gave him a pointedly disgruntled look, after which Sirius rolled his eyes too, and backed off.

Once the rest of the class had arrived, Slughorn strode to the front of the dungeon and pointed his wand at the blackboard. The words 'Professor H. Slughorn' instantly appeared there, and he turned back to face the group of teenagers.

"WELL, WELL, WELL, this is lovely, isn't it," he exclaimed loudly. Everyone in the front row winced simultaneously. "As you can see m'dears-" he winked at the students he had seated on the right side of the classroom, "-My name is Professor Slughorn."

A few snickers broke out among the Slytherins and some of the more immature Gryffindors.

"I know many of you by appearance, of course," he carried on, ignoring the laughter ringing around the dungeon. "I taught here not so long ago. And some of you do bear remarkably strong resemblances to your parents."

He then went on to list many name of past students he still kept in touch with, and famous, rich, or glamorous people he knew they were each related to.

"What's wrong with this guy?" Sirius asked James quietly. "Does he just like hearing himself talk?"

James looked around the dungeon and saw how the whole class was doodling, daydreaming, or in some other way, tuning out Professor Slughorn's 'Potion-making is an art, popular the whole world over, with many important persons'. He grinned at his friend.

Lily, who was the only one paying any attention to their new professor, took a moment from her furious note-taking to smirk at Sirius and whisper across James: "I've noticed-" and Sirius thought she was agreeing with him for a second, before she added- "You two related?"

He responded by sticking his tongue out childishly, and making a rather rude hand gesture at her. Fortunately, Slughorn missed the signal, and just continued to bore them all.

————————————————— (YES I FINALLY REMEMBERED TOPUT THESE THINGS IN!)

"8," Sirius said to James, who stood on his right. James leaned forwards to get a better look.

"Nah; 7. Nose is off center."

Sirius tilted his head the other way and reconsidered. "Hey, you're right. 7 it is then."

Remus, who was standing, arms crossed, and looking slightly uncomfortable, next to Sirius, rolled his eyes and sighed. "I don't suppose my telling you both that you're shallow and cruel will make you stop, will it?"

Sirius and James paused for a second, and then said in unison 'Nope'. Remus sighed again, defeated, "Didn't think so."

"That's your problem, Moony; you think too much! Isn't that right, Wormtail?" Sirius looked across James to Peter for confirmation. Peter nodded and said, "Yup. I think it's been proven in a lab somewhere."

"Yes. I absolutely agree. Moony does think too much," James nodded.

Sirius didn't wait to listen to their answers; he just expanded on his thought. "You see, Moony, you'll never get anywhere in life just being noble and gentleman-like… You can't even admire the way a girl's built! Like that one over there! He-llo love; how you doin'? Prongs, get a load o' her legs!"

_(A/N: Hehe! Does anyone watch FRIENDS? Hehe…)._

"9! I would look at her legs, Padfoot, but I'm too busy looking at her upper half. Can you say 'Come to Daddy!'?" James was admiring the girl's chest shamelessly. It's amazing how little these girls seemed to overhear or notice or even care about (such as perverted fifteen-year-old hotties gaping at their 'womanly-features').

"Oh Merlin, kill me now!" Remus cringed to the ceiling and closed his eyes.

Peter, who had been listening to their game in silent amusement, occasionally agreeing to what one of them said, suddenly asked the other Marauders what their rules were. Sirius explained quickly and simply by saying 'every girl, and I mean _every_ girl, that comes by us (and who isn't in first or second year because, even _I_ admit that that would be sick and wrong), we give a mark out of 10; 10 being hottest, not-annoying girls, and 1 being deformed hags', so that he and James could get back to their judging.

Remus groaned again and started banging his head repeatedly into the hall wall, making Peter concerned for his well-being ("Moony, I don't think that's too good for your head…").

If you're wondering why this particular hallway was so busy; well… It was a few corridors up from the Great Hall, where most students were headed for lunch, and some smart people (coughMarauderscough) had decided earlier that day, to upset Moaning Murtle enough for her to flood three corridors.

They had snuck into her bathroom before third period that morning and turned her orange, which they agreed was actually an improvement, so that she would flood Pringle's office (and there was always the hope that Mrs. Norris would drown…). This meant that this hall was pretty much the only safe route to the Great Hall. This also gave them the opportunity to lean casually against the wall and comment on passersby.

Just then, the Marauders heard a girl's laughing approaching. They ('they' meaning Sirius and James) exchanged an uncomfortable glance when Enid rounded the corner and started down the hall. She seemed to be chatting over her shoulder with two girls and a guy from Hufflepuff.

Remus laughed at his friends and said, "Now you have to rate Enid! Ha!"

"This is weird," Sirius said. James replied smartly with a 'thank you, Captain Obvious'.

"Okay, so… WHOA! Enid's hot! I never knew that. Did you know that? That's messed up, man."

"Yup," James blinked at Enid, who chose that moment to flick her long brown hair back over her shoulder. She looked fairly pretty. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and she was wearing a red and white striped, fitted football shirt under her robes. She was almost skilled at ignoring all the non-plussed looks she kept getting about her jersey (though occasionally, even she would snap at someone's perplexed expression, and hex the rules of football onto their forehead, but no one's perfect…).

"This is too weird," Sirius ran a hand down his shaggy hair. "There has to be something wrong with her!"

"I know. But what? Look at her! Not fat, deformed, zitty, pervy, vulgar, or any of the usual faults. I bet she has webbed toes!"

"Nope. We saw her feet when the girls were dangling their feet in the lake last year." Sirius countered.

"When you two dragged Peter and I along so that you could stalk them and see if any of them would remove their apparel, you mean!" Remus snorted. However little he was enjoying this game, at least it was taking his mind off Marella, his hangover, his detention later that evening, and his Astronomy lesson late that night. Not that he was planning to go, of course.

"Well…" James ignored him. "If not her body, then her personality! There must be something wrong there, cause she can't be a 10!" It seemed like the only logical explanation. Both boys thought hard for a minute, but came up blank.

"Dude, why would we hang with her if we didn't like her personality? She's like a girl-Marauder!"

"Padfoot! Who's side are you on?"

"Oi, Enid!" Sirius hollered across the cramped hallway.

She turned around and grinned, jogging over to them. "Yep?" she answered, panting slightly from running up and down the hallway while waiting for her Hufflepuff friends to catch up.

"What's wrong with you?"

'_Oh tactful Sirius; real tactful!' _James thought to himself. Enid, however, seemed to understand what he wanted to know, so she said quickly, "I have fat thighs, I can't cook, clean, sew, or do laundry to save my life; I have no tolerance or patience for shy or quiet people, I'm sarcastic as hell; and my handwriting's big and messy (unlike Lily's tiny, perfect, neat printing; God she's annoying sometimes!)."

Sirius shrugged and said, "Good enough. 9."

Enid gave him a curious look, but then decided that it was probably safer not to know. She waved goodbye and jogged off.

Before either James or Sirius could comment, or even before Remus could mock them, another familiar laugh was heard. James groaned and wondered why they were playing 'this stupid game' to begin with.

Lily appeared at the other end of the hall and skipped ahead of Carter, who seemed to be chasing her. She held a book behind her back and was teasing him.

"Lily," he sighed, "I need my book back. I have class! Please?"

"Nope," she stuck her tongue out at him and continued to skip away.

"Lil-ly," Carter sighed again. "I don't have the time right now but, if you give me back my Transfiguration book, I promise we can hang out after classes, ok?"

He leaned down and kissed her softly (of course, the Marauders gagging in the background sort of ruined the mood, but oh well)... Lily rolled her eyes and handed the book back (receiving more vomiting sounds from the Marauders…).

Carter took his book and turned to walk the other way, to his next class. Lily smiled to herself (apparently, she had been oblivious to the whole 'Marauders gagging and coughing behind her' thing; of course, Remus less so, but still).

Sirius coughed loudly and obviously behind Lily. She whipped around and rolled her eyes when she saw who it was.

"What, Black?"

"Nothing, Evans, nothing at all." Sirius flashed her a mock-charming smile.

"Sure… Remus, have you seen Christine? I need to ask her something."

"Ohhh… Burn! She calls Remus by his first name, but addresses only me with _the brutal last name_… I'm wounded!" Sirius snorted sarcastically.

Lily ignored him and continued to stare at Remus, expectantly.

Remus shook his head and apologized, "Sorry Lily. I haven't seen her since breakfast."

"Okay, thanks." She turned to leave, but seemed to have a moment of indecision, and turned back to them quickly, "And just to warn you Remus, Marella came looking for you at break in the Library. I told her I had no idea where you were. I wasn't sure what you'd want me to do, but if I were you, I would be as uncomfortable as hell talking to her. So… Bye," she smiled sympathetically at him and walked away again.

'_So much for taking my mind _off_ Marella…' _Remus thought bitterly. But his friends remained silent for a while after that, obviously sensing that he needed to clear his head, and for that he was grateful.

—————————————————

"Sooo…" James broke the awkward silence.

He and Christine had been standing outside dungeon 5 for a few minutes, neither one saying anything. They were the first ones there for their detention with Slughorn.

Christine looked sideways at him. "Yes?"

He mumbled something inaudibly, and his gazed dropped back to the floor. So much for starting a conversation.

It was another few awkward minutes before approaching footsteps broke the silence again. James was so relieved at someone else being there, to make the whole thing less awkward, that he didn't realize he was yelling.

"REMUS! REMUS IS HERE!" he looked at Christine and yanked Remus forwards towards them. "Look! Remus is here! It's Remus!"

Christine and Remus both gave him odd looks and Remus joined them in leaning against the stone wall. The echoes of James' yelling died away, and they were left in silence again. James banged his head against the wall.

—————————————————

Sirius was late. As usual. But this time it wasn't because he had fancied a snack from the kitchens or Honeyduke's, or forgotten altogether. Nope. Now he had someone to blame, and that pleased him.

He was meeting Enid to head to their detention together, but he had been sidetracked by Peeves, who had taken his advice on putting glue on the stairs. Unfortunately, Peeves had used the good advice against him. Git. He'd get him back.

So Sirius had had to spend about five minutes trying to pull his shoe off the step. But of course, Peeves, who had been watching him struggle the whole time, then decided to dump a bucket of paint over him once he had finally freed his shoe. So he had had to return to his dorm to change again, and now he was ten minutes late.

He was meeting Enid in the Entrance Hall, and he was half-way across the landing above the stairs, not seeing her anywhere, when he crashed headfirst into someone. Someone with very blonde hair.

"I'm so sorry," said Sirius, upon realizing who it was. "Here, let me help you."

He bent down and picked up some of the books she had dropped when they collided. He put out a hand to help her up, expecting her to ignore it. He was very surprised when she took it and allowed him to pull her off the floor.

He handed her her books and smiled slowly, before making to leave. He stopped in his tracks and turned around when he heard Lydia utter a soft "Thank you."

She smiled slightly, with a look of almost questioning in her light eyes.

This being the friendliest encounter by far that he had experienced with Lydia for many weeks, he positively beamed back, before remembering something.

"I'm sorry you're moving," he blurted, without meaning to. He could feel his face colouring faintly, and looked at his feet.

Lydia opened her mouth in surprise, and bit her lip before responding, "Me too."

She bit her lip again, gave him another small smile, and walked away.

Sirius grinned and jogged excitedly down the stairs. He could see Enid jogging into the Entrance Hall from the opposite direction, and he sped up.

Grabbing her around the waist, he spun her around in the air until they were both dizzy, and then hugged her happily. She had curiosity in her eyes, but returned his grinning, and followed his skipping down to the dungeons. She allowed herself a small smile when his back was to her, and sped her skipping up, to keep his pace.

—————————————————

"Oho, you young scallywags!" Slughorn chortled when the skipping Enid and Sirius, getting curious looks from the others, joined them.

"Now, I like you, so I'll go easy on you tonight. Just clean out the ingredients cupboard – get rid of all the old ingredients – and then you can go. That shouldn't be too hard, with five of you. I'll be in my office if you need me."

He turned to go, but not before he had winked "And by-the-by, I think you three have excellent singing voices. If you ever want to join a choir, a nephew of the Minister of Magic I used to teach – made an excellent dreamless sleep potion in his day – I can set something up for you…"

The five of them trailed (and skipped) into the dungeon, still eyeing Sirius and Enid warily. Enid shrugged at Christine, still grinning madly. Sirius unexpectedly grabbed Remus' elbow and swung him around in a do-see-doe. Remus squeaked and edged away from Sirius, to cower behind James.

James just said "Sirius, stop acting like a niffler on crack, and Remus, grow some balls."

Sirius stopped skipping and bouncing and pouted.

"Fine."

Remus coughed and straightened his already-perfect uniform.

"But do you actually _grow_ balls?" Sirius asked.

Everyone groaned. This detention was going to be loonnngg…

—————————————————

Lily was sitting up in the Common Room by herself, seeing as all her friends had decided to ditch her. And her boyfriend was studying for a Herbology test the next day. Enid and Christine were in detention and Lydia was nowhere to be found; she hadn't seen her since supper. Remus – whom Lily actually rather enjoyed speaking with on occasions when he was not flanked by Potter and co. – was also in detention. Which was, in itself, a relatively scary and unusual thing…

She attempted to reposition onto her stomach on the sofa by the fire, but misjudged that amount of space she had, consequentially rolling off the sofa and onto the floor.

"CRAP," she muttered angrily, dragging her upper body back onto the seat.

Her foot got caught on a coffee table leg, meaning that she fell right back down, landing on a not-so-conveniently-placed needle. For sewing with…

"OUCH! Who in Merlin's name leaves a _pointy-needle_ on the _floor_?" she asked the almost-empty Room, pulling said needle out from under her and rubbing her bottom crossly.

A short boy rushed forwards and extracted the short-but-dangerous metal rod from her hand, saying apologetically: "Sorry; that's mine. I must have left it here earlier."

Now Lily didn't want to insult anyone, so she kept the incredulous-ness that showed on her face to a minimum. After all; why couldn't boys sew?

But after the boy disappeared, Lily was free to return to her pitiful attempts to get up from the floor (a feat that should have been all-too-easy, and indeed, it would have been, for anyone except Lily, who was apparently having a clumsy evening…), and wallow in boredom, loneliness, and the fact that she could (_should_) be working on a Transfiguration essay. So much to look forward to, eh?

In another few minutes, the Portrait Hole opened, and Lily looked up hopefully. It was no one she knew (-a first year-) and she therefore subconsciously glared at the little girl, who saw, burst into tears, and ran up the staircase. The _boys' _staircase. Five seconds later came some annoyed male voices, and the little girl came running down the stairs again, screams this time mixed into her tears, to turn up the _girls'_ staircase this time.

Lily hoped that no one else had seen that (even though the remaining occupants of the Common Room were all staring curiously from the little girl's back to Lily), and barely had time to feel guilty before the Portrait Hole opened again.

Lydia entered, looking pleased, and Lily frantically beckoned her over. Lydia cast her an odd look, but complied.

"LYDIA!" Lily exclaimed exuberantly. Worryingly, she forcibly reminded Lydia of their new Potions Professor. Lydia sat down on the coffee table by the fire and smiled pleasantly at her friend.

"I'm so bored because everybody left me for stupid detentions and studying and all I have to do is homework and – hang-bloody-on! Where the Hell were you in my time of need?" Lily finally paused for breath to glare accusingly at Lydia.

Lydia couldn't look guilty for more than a couple of seconds before the silly-grin returned to her face. "Nowhere," she said hastily.

"So you bloody abandoned me during my crisis to go nowh- wait a sodding minute-" irately-swearing Lily backtracked and started her rant again, this time with a different view of events – "No one goes _nowhere_ and returns grinning like the flipping Easter Bunny! Now, I'm extremely antsy, bored, and do NOT appreciate being lied to in my time of crisis! And I will not hesitate in renouncing our friendship and cursing you into oblivion if you do not tell me what you are poorly trying to conceal from me; your so-called friend!"

Lydia looked slightly taken aback by Lily's annoyed outburst (and indeed, by her perceptiveness, as Lily is usually not one of the most insightful people you'll meet). Lydia paused and then said calmly to her deeply-breathing friend "Is it possible that, by 'flipping Easter Bunny', you meant 'flipping Cheshire Cat'?"

Lily raised an eyebrow and said after a second of considering, "Yes, that's quite possible, but DON'T CHANGE THE DAMN SUBJECT, MISSY! NOW, I'LL ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

Lydia was about to point out that going into a caps-lock-spaz would not help with Lily's sudden inability-to-breath-properly, but reconsidered at the last second, as it looked quite like Lily would implode if she attempted to evade the question again.

Sighing, she confessed: "Well, I was just heading back up here – I went to the library to check on some stuff for Transfiguration – when I crash headfirst into Sirius, going the opposite way. He helped me pick up my books and we kind of smiled at each other and he said he was sorry I'm moving – which I'm sure I have you to thank for – him knowing, that is. It's nothing big, really, but I got to thinking over the break, and seeing him again, and just talking to him, sort of made me realize that life's too short to waste hating the people you're close to. And his smile still makes me giddy. Not that I've forgiven him completely for being a total jerk, but I do find that I really miss him. And I miss everyone hanging out together."

During this speech, Lily's face had returned to it's normal colour, and she had obviously caught Lydia's 'can't-stop-smiling' disease. She smiled at her friend and said

"Well… I don't know about ALL of us hanging out, as Potter's still an arrogant prick, but it's so cute that you two are talking again!"

Lydia blushed and said quickly, "We're not _talking_, per say. I just think we're on friendlier terms now. I mean, we didn't break up because of something really serious, like cheating or anything. I mean, cheating involves sex, and how many people do we know (at our age) who have sex anyway?"

Lily raised an eyebrow, about to say that Lydia probably didn't know _quite_ as much about Black or his friends in _that_ department as she should before saying that, when she remembered what had happened with Marella and Remus. She lost no time in filling Lydia in on this, and Lydia looked positively scandalized.

They sat in silence for a while, in a mutual but silent conversation about these events. Then Lydia remembered something herself: "Wait, doesn't Remus have Astronomy tonight?"

Lily clapped a hand over her mouth in horror and they both spent the rest of the evening trying to maintain that this was not funny in the least, and that it was a terrible thing for anyone to have to go through, particularly at their age. This didn't work so well. It actually resulted in the two girls trying to muffle their giggles in the Common Room pillows (at which Christine would have said: "EW! Do you not realise how many peoples' butts have touched those cushions? In how many various states of cleanliness? Or clothed-ness?"); then in them feeling extremely guilty for laughing, no matter how funny the situation could have been if it had happened to someone they didn't know. This was why they showed up at breakfast the next morning with a basket of chocolate treats for Remus, and –what they hoped were- innocent smiles.

_Author's Note: You SEE! HA! The crappiness has overwhelmed me AGAIN! Just by my skimming over it. And I haven't finished my review responses… -bad me- Perhaps I should stop making them the size of short novels and actually FINISH THEM BEFORE I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER… But I wouldn't have done that to you guys, because the sooner this is up, the sooner you get the next chapter, in which things actually happen –collective gasps-. Okay, next chapter is called Of Extremely Uncomfortable Encounters and Revelations. It includes (drumroll, please? No? well, I guess I can settle for drumming my fingers on the computer desk…) MARELLA, people turning their backs on MARELLA, REMUS playing hide-and-seek (of sorts), a SEMI-NEW-CHARACTER will be RE-INTRODUCED (we never really saw much, just a mention, really), and (BIG DEATH HINT COMING UP!) the person who dies is most definitely in, or at the very least mentioned in the next chapter. Though, watch out, it is me, so I may enjoy tricking you (hehe). The rules for guessing who it is next time: I'm by no means saying that the person has not been (at least) mentioned before in the story. It may not be who immediately comes to your mind (wink wink). It may be either a boy OR a girl (not giving that away yet). It will most likely surprise you. And it is my favourite character._

_Whoa, I'm such a softie. I can't believe I just told you all that._

_To the people I haven't responded to yet, sorry, thanks for reviewing, I'll review to you lot first next chapter (if you review for this so-called-thing), and BUBBLES!_

_-K_


	24. Of Extremely Uncomfortable Conversations

_Author's Note:__ Hehehehe. I'm sorry. That's all I have to say. And then the computer deleted the chapter. So then I had to rewrite it, but I found half of it on the other computer. So I wasn't the computer's biggest fan for a while. And yeah. Soooorry. And I'll try to update again soon. I really am sorry! And this definitely isn't one of the better ones._

_(But Deathly Hallows was amazing and I was in mourning…)_

_It's raining over here. Looks like our windows are going through a car wash. It's cool._

_-Kat_

Recap: Sirius and Lydia made progress, Remus, Sirius, and Lily walked in on Marella and Professor Salandro (Remus' astronomy teacher). And that's about it.

Chapter 24 – Of Extremely Uncomfortable Conversations

"Uhhh… Thanks?" Remus raised an eyebrow at the two girls-bearing-chocolate before him. Then he shrugged and peeled the wrapping off a chocolate frog.

"Where's _my_ basket of chocolate?" a voice came from a few seats down the table.

Lily glanced over at where James was sitting, an obnoxious grin plastered over his face. She muttered something that she could never have said in front of her mother and took a seat beside Christine. James looked slightly put out, and resumed his argument with Sirius and Enid over who was bound to win the Quidditch World Cup that year.

"Oi, you two," Christine beckoned Lydia and Lily to lean closer to her so she could speak as quietly as possible.

"Yeah?" they responded at the same time.

Christine leaned backwards, checked there was no one approaching them who shouldn't be, and spoke softly: "You know when we 'overheard' that conversation between Malfoy and Narcissa?" She waited for them to nod before continuing.

"Well, I was coming back from detention with the Slug, and I spotted them in another abandoned classroom having another – well… heated, for want of a better word, conversation. Or argument; whatever floats your boat. It sounded like they were discussing the same thing as last time. But there was still something he wanted her to keep that she was strongly opposed to taking. So she's crying and screaming at him, then he hits her, and she fall backwards and hits her head on a desk."

Lily's jaw dropped and Lydia gasped "He _hit_ her?"

Christine nodded grimly and said, "There's more. So she wasn't knocked out by the whole desk-thing, but she had this huge bruise already showing on her cheek. He must have hit her _really_ hard! Then he takes the thing they were arguing over – I couldn't see what it was – and… Well, I don't know what he did with it, but she somehow had it, and then when she actually stood up, she slapped him around the face. I can only assume that whatever he gave her was sharp, as when he turned to leave I could see blood and a gash on his cheek. But before he left he hit her again, and this time I think she was knocked out. Then I had to nip back to Slughorn's office and pretend I was worried about exams and wanted to discuss his teaching methods. I was stuck there for bloody half and hour!"

"So you didn't help Narcissa?" Lily wanted to know.

"I couldn't, could I?" Christine said impatiently. "Malfoy would've seen me if I hadn't gone to Slughorn's office, and I doubt he'd have liked me having witnessed that, and then wanting to help the girl he just assaulted."

"Shhh…" Lydia looked around quickly to make sure they were still being ignored by the other occupants of the hall. "And you're right. He probably would've hexed you until-"

She was cut off by a sort of strangled noise from Remus – who was between her and Enid at the table – and him ducking his head down behind the sugar bowl. The other Marauders and the girls followed his gaze to the large doors into the Great Hall, all noticing her at the same time. Marella was biting her lip and scouring the Gryffindor table, no doubt looking for Remus.

The students all around them spotted Marella too – she had been absent from classes the previous day, and no doubt rumours had spread by then – and a moment of silence ensued. Then everyone burst into new conversations, most bunches of people discussing this new development in the gossip mill.

Enid looked shiftily from side to side and placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, thrusting him under the table as Marella approached.

She spoke quietly and nervously, as if waiting on tenterhooks to find out what her friends thought of her now. "Have any of you seen Remus?"

She didn't have to wait long for an answer of how she was viewed by the guys, however. Sirius asked James to 'please pass the butter' for his toast, and James complied, making a fleeting comment about the 'sunny weather we've been having'. Peter opened his mouth as if to respond, but was greeted by kicks from both directions, and closed his mouth to massage his shins.

Tight-lipped, Marella nodded and looked to the girls. Christine coughed uncomfortably and took a large mouthful of toast, which she then proceeded to choke on, with Enid helpfully reaching over the table and whopping her on the back.

Marella turned pleadingly to Lydia, who seemed to have a moment's indecision. She looked up at Marella, then her eyes flickered across the table to where Sirius was sitting, resolutely ignoring the girl standing beside him. He shot her a sincere, pleading look and her gaze returned to Marella's guilt-ridden face.

Lydia merely shook her head and returned to her cereal.

Lily was Marella's last chance. She looked down at her and Lily said quickly, before she could feel guilty for lying, "No. I haven't."

Marella stared around at them all again and said in a somewhat hurt voice: "So this is how it's going to be from now on, is it?"

Sirius and James both opened their mouths to respond scathingly, but Enid beat them to it.

"Apparently."

Marella crossed her arms at Enid's blank-but-serious expression, evidently feeling betrayed.

But Enid raised an eyebrow and anyone looking at her could clearly tell that she was itching to say something sarcastic like, "Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time." She held her tongue, but still Marella glared at Enid, turned on her heel, and marched out of the Great Hall, more frantic whisperings starting up again amongst the students.

Bending down and leaning her head under the table, Enid said kindly to Remus, "Are you okay?"

He responded with a nod, even though his face was still pale, and clearly stated that he would like to stay under the table for a little while longer.

Leaving Remus to his thoughts under the table, Sirius started up an argument with Peter over whether or not someone named Shady McShistersonwho scalped firewhiskey to underage wizards and witches down by the Hog's Head could be trusted, Lydia reached over to accept a copy of the Daily Prophet from the dark brown owl that had come to rest in front of her breakfast plate; Lily pulled her thick potions book from her bag and buried her nose in it, and James stared longingly at Lily as she did this, leading to and exchange of smug, knowing glances between Enid and Christine.

This all went on for a few more minutes, leaving a palpable silence hanging over their heads, with the sounds of other chattering students in the background. But the silence was broken by someone calling Enid's name.

They all looked up simultaneously, and spotted a girl with long brown hair hopping towards them. Only she wasn't just hopping. It was more like… Bouncing. Because she was using both feet to propel herself into the air and forwards.

She looked just like Enid only shorter, with a green tint in her brown eyes. Lily recognized her as Jessica; Enid's sister. Lily had seen her being sorted, and knew she was a Gryffindor, but she usually didn't come over to their group to hang out with her sister.

She was paying no attention to the fact that most of the Hall had turned to watch the first-year bouncing along the Gryffindor table with her legs stuck together.

About ten seats away from her sister, Jess tripped over someone's foot as they stood up to leave the breakfast table. She picked herself up quickly, glaring at the boy who had tripped her as she did so, and bounded the rest of the distance to Enid, who was stifling a grin.

"Hey guys," she greeted them cheerfully enough, for someone who was currently being pointed and laughed at by most of her fellow students, the majority of whom were all older than her. "Can you believe that all the way here from the Common Room, _no one_ offered to help me out of this?"

She gestured wildly at her bottom half, the others giving her curious looks in reply.

"Some Slytherin Git put the LEG-LOCKER-CURSE ON ME?" she explained, clearly exasperated.

The fifth years all gave 'Ohhh's and 'Ahhh's of understanding, and she rolled her eyes.

Enid piped up suspiciously, "Which Slytherin Git?"

And Jess replied airily, "OH, some ponce I think they called Malfoy…"

Lily, Lydia, and Christine's eyes all widened and they exchanged meaningful glances with each other, while the guys' eyes narrowed and they started muttering threateningly under their breaths (except for Remus, who was still under the table, and who wouldn't have reacted like that anyway, not really approving of violent behaviour). Enid, however, jumped out of her seat and searched the Great Hall with her eyes, looking for Malfoy and hissing, "Oh, that sod is so DEAD!"

"Calm down, Enid," Jess said boredly. "Just take this thing off me so I can explain why I _really_ needed to talk to you."

Enid made a face at her sister, but pulled out her wand nonetheless. She aimed it at Jess's legs and waved it until a silver light shot out the end of it. Everyone stared at her; they hadn't even been taught unspoken spells yet… She looked around at them and shrugged with a sheepish grin, before turning back to her sister and saying "So what's up, sis?"

Jess slid into Remus's vacated spot (muttering a completely unfazed "Hey Remus" to the boy under the table) and bit into his discarded roll. Her hair really was quite long, like her sister's, and it got caught in her mouthful, clearly preventing her from enjoying Remus' roll as much as she had wanted to.

She frowned, muttering "Stupid hair," then closing her eyes and biting her lip, obviously concentrating hard. The fifth years watched as her hair began to shrink back up her head until she was left with a violently blue crop that stopped just above her ears.

She waved away the others' fascinated whisperings by casually saying "metamorphmagus", like it was nothing spectacular and they saw them every day, before continuing:

"Okay. I need a favour."

Enid raised a skeptical eyebrow at her sister with an amused look on her face.

Jess shook her head reassuringly, "No, no, no! Nothing like the time I said I needed to borrow money to get stuff for mum and dad for Christmas, but actually spent it on that train ticket for the box I stuffed the annoying kid next door into… It's completely innocent, I swear!"

Enid coughed and raised the other eyebrow, her friends looking on even more curiously now.

Christine inquired, "You stuffed some kid in a box and put it on a train because they _annoyed you_?"

She was met by a casual 'Yep' from the 12-year-old before her.

"Nice…" and she reached over to high-five her while Sirius and James looked quite proud.

"So what is it this time?" Enid asked.

"Well, you see…" Jess started, continuing all in one breath: "I'm-failing-Charms-and-Flitwick-suggested-I-get-a-tutor-so-I-was-thinking-you-could-help-me-or-I'lltell-Mum-and-Dad-about-the-thing-with-your-ex-boyfriend,-and-next-door's-cat-and-the-leather-"

"OKAY, ENOUGH" Enid interjected loudly. "Firstly, what? How the Hell can you be failing first year Charms? It's the easiest class ever invented! Secondly, sorry, but I can't 'cause I'm already dead behind in homework and we just got back from Easter Break, but maybe one of these guys can do it, and thirdly, I thought we agreed not to tell anyone about that? Ever!?"

Sirius, who looked extremely intrigued, grinned sexily and purred at Jess, "What's this about Enid and cats…?"

Everyone laughed but Enid shot him a 'look' and glared at her sister.

"Well fine. So much for the bond of sisterhood… So which one of you is the best at Charms?"

She looked around expectantly, as though one of them should jumping up and down proclaiming their aptitude for the subject. When none of them did, she sighed and folded her arms, so Christine responded "Lily got 102 percent on our Charms exam last year" at exactly the same time as James said "Well, mini-Enid, I happen to be quite the expert in that field."

Lily was torn between trying to look modestly embarrassed and laughing at James' cocky suggestion. This unfortunately resulted in her snorting awkwardly and James glaring at her and saying defensively "What? I'm good at Charms!"

Lily just coughed something that sounded remarkably like "So that's how you ended up with webbed yellow feet last month, is it?"

"That was a fluke! I got distracted," James said loudly, turning red. Everyone laughed.

Jess looked thoughtful for a second, and then said "Why don't you both tutor me? How about a competition of sorts. A little contest to prove who really is better at Charms…"

Lily was about to refuse, but James said yes right away, so she nodded reluctantly.

She then picked up her potions book, told them she would see them later, and headed up to Gryffindor Tower before class.

James stared after her and then got up and headed in the opposite direction.

Jess watched them go and said knowingly to everyone else, "He fancies the socks off her, doesn't he?"

There were general nods and murmurs of agreement, even from Gryffindors sitting a few seats down from them.

Then Jess smiled slyly.

"I have an idea, if anyone's interested…"

———————

"Remus, you can not skip class"

"Can too."

"Can not."

"Can too."

"Can not."

"I can and I will."

"No, you will not. You want to be head boy, yes?"

"Maybe."

"Oh come ON. YOU. CAN'T. SKIP. CLASS."

"James and Sirius do it."

"And if james and Sirius jumped off a-"

"Skipping class is not equivalent to jumping off a bridge, Lily."

"Is when the jump/skip-ee is you."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"Is not."

"Is too."

"I don't know why I'm having this conversation with you."

"Because I was sitting in the Common Room working quietly when I saw you huddled in the corner with a lamp shade over your head.

"Ah, well, I, maybe, DAMMIT!"

"And that was when you told me you were hiding from McGonagall for when she was going to find out you were skipping class, and when I told you that you can not skip class, and that it's probably physically impossible for you anyway, hence the rocking back and forth in the corner."

"Well maybe I skip class all the time. Maybe I'm just so stealthy and resourceful that you don't notice."

"But you see, the way I figure it, an experienced class-skipper would probably know that McGonagall doesn't come looking for you –that you just get a detention-note from the professor- and that wearing a lamp shade over your head is more likely to attract unwanted attention than actually skipping class. So you have never skipped class before (except for two or three days a month when you don't show up at all). That, and you sit next to me in over half my classes."

Remus looked up at his new head-attire and sighed.

"I suppose you're right. But all the same, this is one class I would really rather avoid, even more than James and Sirius want to avoid History of Magic or Potions."

"And I can understand that, seeing as your teacher slept with your girlfriend, but still. You need to face them some time. And do you really want to damage your squeaky clean reputation?"

Remus glared at her and said "For this? I think so."

"Well I'm not letting you," said Lily, and she pulled the lamp shade off his head, grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards the portrait hole.

———————

"Okay, Remus," Lily said as they neared the Astronomy Tower, "I'm starting to feel bad. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. I wouldn't argue if you said you wanted to go back to Gryffindor Tower and put the lamp shade back on."

Remus smiled gratefully at her, took her hand and replied resolutely, "No, you were right. I need to face them sooner or later. Thanks Lily."

She squeezed his hand reassuringly and turned to go.

"Uhhh, Remus?"

"Mmm?"

"Are you going to let go of my hand?"

"I think I'd rather not."

"But I don't take Astronomy."

"But this whole thing was your idea."

"But I don't take Astronomy."

"But I think I can't let go of your hand."

"But I think you have to, because I don't take Astronomy."

"Okay, I changed my mind. I think I want to go and see Professor McGonagall and change courses."

"Remus, it's too late in the year to switch courses."

"Bollocks."

But before Lily could respond, the door in front of them opened and Professor Dumbledore walked out.

Remus and Lily both looked up into his half-moon spectacle-clad eyes and couldn't think of anything to say. He smiled sadly down at them and said "Ah Mr. Lupin. This is quite remarkable timing really, as I was just about to come to Gryffindor Tower in search of you. Would you care to accompany me to my office?"

"Not re-" Remus started, but Lily trod on his foot.

"He means 'of course', Professor," she explained. "See, he's a little out of sorts at the moment."

"So I've heard, Miss. Evans, so I've heard," Dumbledore replied, still more sadly.

Remus and Lily's eyes widened, and Remus dumbly held up his hand -the one that was still clutching Lily's- to show Dumbledore.

"Of course Miss Evans can join us, if that would make you more comfortable. This way, if you please."

"Wha-" said Lily as she found herself being pulled down the corridor after Dumbledore.

———————

"Well I think that was the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had the misfortune to witness," Lily said to Remus, flopping down across what she thought was his bed an hour later.

"No argument there," Remus replied. He still looked a little stunned.

"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't much care for discussing your ex-girlfriend's sex-life with your headmaster either."

"Not one jot, actually."

"Understandable," yawned Lily.

"Quite," Remus said, and a long pause followed, during which he stared at the faded ceiling and Lily tried to avoid touching anything that she couldn't be positive had been properly sanitized in the recent past, which was rather difficult, due to the construction-zone-type-mess that clearly resided year-long in the fifth-year boys' dormitory.

"So next time you see me huddled in a corner with a lamp shade over my head…"

"I'll toss you a pillow and not make eye contact."

"Thanks. That's kind of comforting."

"Yeah," Lily yawned again.

Another -long er- pause, followed by a door opening and closing, and much swearing…

"Uhhh Remus?"

"Yes James?"

"What's Evans doing asleep on my bed?"

"..."


	25. Body Issues, Meet Sore Faces

Author's Note: All I can say is: I'm sorry. I know that doesn't cover making you wait a year! But after a rather (ridiculously) lengthy hiatus, it was nice to still be receiving minor threats to continue this story... That really made me cheerful, and sort of got me back into the spirit. Feels kind of good to be back (though it's sad that I had to re-read just about the whole story to even remember what happened...) And this isn't even one of my better ones. And _absolutely_ _nothing_ happens! Enjoy being back to school soon! (cough)

-K

Recap:

James and Lily agree to tutor Enid's sister, Jess, in Charms; Jess seems to have other ideas. Lydia and Sirius have only recently begun to communicate like humans again. Lydia is moving to America after the school year finishes. Christine witnesses more drama between Lucius and Narcissa. Remus tries to skip class, which culminates in Lily and Remus discussing Marella's sex-life with Dumbledore... They both severely regret that. And we left off with Lily asleep in the boys' dormitory...

__

"Uhhh Remus?"

"Yes James?"

_"What's Evans doing asleep on my bed?"_

_"..."_

Chapter 25 -** Body Issues, Meet Sore Faces  
**

"Isn't it obvious, Prongs? Moony clearly seduced her into coming back to the room, and he didn't want to rumple his perfectly-made bed by utilizing it with a girl, so they snogged on YOUR bed instead."

"WHAAAT?!"

"It was a joke, Prongs, a JOKE," Sirius snorted, jumping onto his bed to avoid the attempt at kicking him in the shins that followed.

"Oh." James said, relaxing slightly.

"... Unless Remus really did seduce her...?"

"What?! NO!" Remus chucked a pillow at Sirius' head. An awkward silence fell, in which a completely unfazed Sirius kicked off both of his shoes and started to loosen his tie.

"...so what _is_ she doing here?" Peter asked tentatively, sitting down on his own bed and flinching involuntarily, in case a pillow was aimed at his head too.

"We talked to Dumbledore, and then she just... fell asleep."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"On my bed."

"I think she thought it was mine. But yes."

"I see."

"Indeed."

...

"So what should we... do? With her, I mean," James glanced back at the pretty redhead snoring softly on his bed.

Sirius opened his mouth with a small grin, so James hastily redirected the question, "-Remus?"

"Not sure."

"Well," Peter started thoughtfully, "if she didn't wake up when you yelled, I think it's fairly safe to say that she's a heavy sleeper. Probably not gonna move until she wants to wake up."

"Right."

James looked at Lily again, and smiled as she wiggled a little in her sleep. "I guess I should just leave her there then."

"Probably," Sirius agreed, starting to unbutton his rumpled school shirt.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Erm, what, do you need a play-by-play, or...?" Sirius gave James a funny look, and Remus raised an eyebrow. At least he could always count on his friends to create hijinx or uncomfort that would take his mind of the previous events of any day.

"No!"

"Okay good. Gotta say, mate, I was a little worried there," Sirius shrugged and recommenced his undressing.

...

James reconsidered, "It's just-"

"For Merlin's sake, Prongs, _what_ is your problem? Why will you not let me go to bed?"

Shifting uncomfortably, James continued in a voice that was barely audible; "It's just... What if she wakes up?"

Both Remus and Sirius (and Peter from behind his four-poster's closed curtains, where he was changing for bed) looked at James like he was crazy.

"Then she'll be awake, James. Are you feeling alright?"

"You know, I did think Moony would crack first, what with his girlfriend doing his teacher and all that..."

"Thanks Sirius."

"Don't mention it."

Ignoring their banter, James coughed and said "No, I mean what if she wakes up while you're changing, and sees you, you know... changing. And you'll be, well... changing."

"I think we've established that he'll be changing, James. Go on..." Remus said hesitantly. Sirius shook his head and muttered "Mad as a March Hare...", eying his friend concernedly.

"I'm not crazy!" James cried defensively, picking up one of Sirius' discarded shoes and lobbing in his general direction. Remus and Sirius raised their eyebrows simultaneously. "Really, I'm not! It's just, what if she sees you-"

"If you say 'changing' one more time, Prongs, I swear to Merlin that I will hex your nose off!"

"...-r... body? And..."

"And?"

"And she ..." James' voice trailed off to completely inaudible, and he scuffed his shoes on the floor, his cheeks tingeing pink.

"_What_ did you say?" Sirius asked, trying to stifle a snort of laughter, and proceeding to choke on his phlegm.

"Yes James, _what_ did you say?" Remus repeated, reaching over and hitting Sirius on the back.

James' whole face was roughly the same shade as a cherry at this point, and he grimaced as he repeated his question. "What if she... likes it. Better than mine."

"Well I can't say I'd blame her;" Sirius cracked, unable to control his laughter "I am a dazzling specimen!"

Peter chose this moment to stick his head out of the curtains and say "You can't argue with him there" in agreement. Sirius nodded appreciatively. Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to James, who was still red and embarrassed.

"Don't laugh! I mean it Sirius! Can't you just... not change in here tonight? Or go into the bathroom or something?"

"Merlin James! You're not really trying to tell me you have body issues?" Sirius asked, incredulous. "I expect that from Peter; not you!"

"Hey!" Peter frowned down at his stripy pajamas. "I don't have body issues."

Remus kicked Sirius swiftly on the shin before he could respond, and took advantage of Sirius' momentary lack of a voice to say sympathetically to James

"James, I really don't think you have anything to worry about with Lily. I'm sure she's not like that."

"But Moony, everyone knows all the girls here think that Sirius is a God-"

"Again, I can't blame them," Sirius winked at his reflection in their rusted mirror. "But you're being a tad ridiculous Prongs. You've never been self-conscious before. Why now?"

James looked at Lily again, and then caught his friend's eye. "It's just, different with her. I don't want to take any chances."

"And you're more worried about her potentially -but more likely not- waking up and seeing Sirius changing and comparing your bodies, than about any of the potentially much more likely naked escapades she potentially gets up to with her actual BOYFRIEND?"

"MOONY!" James looked affronted. Sirius kicked Remus on the shin this time.

Remus sighed. "Sorry James. I just subconsciously wanted someone to have as miserable a love life as me for a minute... I'm back to my consciousness now."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "So you seriously want to make me walk all the way to that nasty bathroom _just_ to get changed? Am I still allowed to sleep in here, or are you worried she'll find my snoring more attractive than yours?"

James smiled slightly, but looked very relieved. "Thanks Padfoot; I owe you one."

Sirius grumbled something about St. Mungo's, but grudgingly stood up and turned to the door. "And remember to wear clothes to bed this time!" James called after him. Sirius grabbed a pair of boxers of the lampshade beside the door and gave James the finger on his way out.

James breathed a sigh of relief and turned to face the sleeping girl on his bed. He walked towards her and very gently lifted her up, trying to take care to place her softly with her head on the pillow, and turning down the duvet at the same time. Unfortunately, he miscalculated his ability to multitask with a person in his arms, and ended up dropping her heavily onto the bed. "Bollocks." When she didn't wake, he guessed Peter had been right about her being a heavy sleeper, and he was grateful for it. He then pulled the cover up to her chin, smoothed the hair away from her face, and kissed her softly on the forehead. She drooled a little in her sleep, and he smiled. Weird, what some people find attractive.

Remus, who had been watching this scene with a small smirk, coughed, and James whipped around.

"If you tell Sirius I tucked her in, I'll kill you."

Remus shook his head, laughed, and climbed into his own bed. "Goodnight, James."

" 'Night Moony."

Sirius chose that moment to reenter the room, in Gryffindor boxer shorts with lions on them, and lay down on his bed.

"Happy now?"

"Yes."

...

"Would you mind just-"

"I'm putting on a t-shirt right now, Prongs."

"Thanks Padfoot. You're swell."

"Bloody Merlin. I don't know why I'm friends with someone as strange as you, you tosser."

" 'Night."

"Uh huh."

James sat down on the floor beside his bed, pulled his schoolbag towards him, and covered himself in a set of his school robes, using the bag as a pillow. Then he listened to Lily breathe for a while, and eventually drifted into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The dormitory was not as quiet as usual when Lily awoke, at about 5 o'clock in the morning. She had never before heard her roommates snore like that. Nor had she ever noticed how her blanket smelled faintly like chocolate frogs and singed cotton (from exploding snap gone awry). And now that she had, she was kind of wishing she hadn't.

But then as she stifled a yawn with her right hand, and reached for her bedside table to pick up her watch with the other, she was surprised to find that she couldn't reach it. Her fingertips could barely graze the edge of the table, which was usually placed at the perfect arm's length away from each student's bed by the house elves. Odd.

So Lily started to sit up in bed and noticed grubbily that she could see the whole window from where she sat, _and _that she was fully dressed - except for her shoes, which she seriously hoped she had removed herself. In her own dorm, Lydia slept beside the window, so where on earth _was_ she? She tried to remember clearly the events of the past evening: _Remus skipping class, talking to Dumbledore... Talking to Remus... Falling asleep... _And there it was. She could not remember ever going back to her own room to get ready for bed. _Oh dear._

She squinted in the darkness and was rather horrified to see Remus snoring away in the bed opposite hers. Was there a chance that Remus had taken one of his friend's beds, and that Potter and his other cronies had not yet returned for the night from one of their little illegal excursions? Sure, why not. Either way, Lily decided, she still had to leave. Maybe that way she could convince her friends that she had come up to bed after them, and been in her dorm the rest of the night? That they had just not noticed her come in? Plus, what if Potter came back from wherever he was and saw her there? _That _would be awkward. Especially if he was naked.

Lily paused on that thought for a second, a slight smile creeping up the corner of her lips, before coming to her senses and shaking her head frantically. Apparently her need to leave this messy dormitory was greater than she had first imagined.

Unfortunately, there was barely a moon that night, and Lily's eyes had not quite adjusted to the lack of light in the room, and so prepared to guess her way blindly in what she assumed was the general direction of the door. She quietly swung her feet over the edge of the bed and stood up quickly, shrieking when her bare feet connected not with the floor, but with a squishy surface right beside the bed, sliding out from under her, greeted with a yell of pain. She braced herself for a hard landing on the floor, but instead was cushioned by the squishy surface.

James, on the other hand, was clutching his face, which she had stepped on quite hard, and trying to catch his breath from where Lily had landed on his chest, winding him severely.

A streak of bright light illuminated the scene suddenly, and Sirius groaned very loudly when he saw the two teens on the floor. "Merlin, can't you two keep it down?" He put out his wand's light and stamped back to his bed, still grumbling. "It's okay Moony" he addressed Remus, who was reaching for his glasses, "No one's being attacked. James is just putting his own personal _needs_ before his friends' desires to be _sleeping_ at 5 in the morning."

"What?!" Lily shrieked again, scrambling off the boy on the floor as fast as she could. "Shut up!"

"ARGH! For the love of Merlin, STOP STEPPING ON MY FACE!"

"What was your face even doing there, you perverted weirdo?" she screamed, kicking James' side angrily.

"OUCH!"

"Shut the ruddy hell UP!" Sirius yelled over from his corner.

"Yes, I don't think our neighbours will be too pleased if you continue to feud at such high decimals," Remus sighed, rolling over in his bed and covering his ears with his pillow.

"How do you even come up with words like that at 5 in the morning, Moony?"

Remus uncovered an ear. "It comes easily with having a total vocabulary larger than that of a gnome, Sirius."

"OI! MAN IN PAIN HERE!" James yelled indignantly, staggering to his feet.

"Well that's what you get for being a perverted weirdo with no sense of personal space," Lily fumed, giving him a shove and storming towards the door, which she could kind of see now, thanks to Sirius blinding them with light from his wand. Unfortunately, her dramatic exit was somewhat interrupted by her tripping not-so-gracefully over the trunk at the end of James' bed.

"Argh, my foot!"

"Are 'ou ookey?" James asked, pinching his nose to stop the bleeding from where Lily had accidentally stepped on his face.

"DON'T talk to me, Potter!" Was the response, followed by a slamming door.

"Have you _quite_ finished now, Prongs?" Sirius asked James with a grumpy sigh, and absolutely no concern for his friend's wellbeing.

"Urgh." James let himself fall backwards onto his bed, massaging his chest.

Silence followed, but James sighed at the hopelessness of it all but smiled to himself anyway as his head touched his pillow. As Sirius hard as he tried to ignore him and get back to sleep, he could practically hear James smiling.

"Why the hell are you smiling?"

James rolled onto his side. "I'b dever washig dis pillow."

"You are a sick man, Prongs."

* * *

The next morning, Lily was sitting at the Gryffindor House table, discussing the upcoming Quidditch Cup final in which Gryffindor and Slytherin were supposed to be taking part tomorrow, with Enid. Fortunately, her friends had not been woken by the screaming match in the boys' dormitory that morning, unlike many of the now sleep-deprived co-inhabitants of the boys' dorms, and so they had not asked her any probing questions about what she was doing, with Potter, in the boys' dorm, and 5 in the morning. Yet. She was also not wearing any shoes, which she hoped no one would notice.

It was then that an embarrassed looking James approached her warily from the large door at the other end of the hall. His nose was tinged purple behind the clean white hospital wing bandage that covered it, and Lily felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of her stomach when she caught sight of this as he came nearer.

"What d'you think happened to Potter's nose?" Christine leaned over Enid to ask.

Lily blanched. "What, I don't know! Why would_ I_ know? It's not like I talk to him or anything. It's not like I did it."

Before her friends had a chance to raise their eyebrows, James had reached them, and he tentatively held out Lily's black school shoes. She stood up and took them quickly, looking down at the bench. James turned to go, not saying anything, but stopped with his back to her when she started to speak. "I'm sorry I broke your nose," she blurted quickly.

He knew that she would be embarrassed if he responded, so he just paused to let her know that he had heard her.

She exhaled and sat down again, slipping on her shoes, and ignoring the doubly raised eyebrows of her friends.

James walked down to the other end of the table and pulled a scone towards him with a silly smile plastered onto his face. Perhaps things weren't quite so completely hopeless after all.


End file.
